The Hogwarts Blog
by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles
Summary: Dumbledore has started a blog. Read thoughts from Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Snape and even Voldemort! Moderately AU. Coauthored with a friend of mine. Rated T to be safe. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

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_This story is based off an idea me and one of my friends had: starting a blog for the_ Harry Potter _characters. It'll follow the books pretty closely, plot-wise. With the details, however, it'll get pretty AU. And if you happen to be writing a blog story, I'll try not to steal any of your ideas. _

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**Subject: Welcome**

Honestly, I'm not sure why I started this blog. Boredom, perhaps. I know I had a reason, but I can't seem to remember…

Oh, that's right. To create a place where all the wizards of Britain could come together and speak their minds without fear of retribution. (I've placed anti-tracing spells around the URL, you see, so all bloggers are safe no matter what.)

So, whether you're from Hogwarts or not, feel free to post whatever you please! I'll begin:

Yesterday was the first day of a new term. A beautiful day it was, too, with the trees arrayed in red and gold...a perfect fall day.

It seemed perfectly normal, and in many ways it was. Everything went just as it has for centuries: The first years filed into the Great Hall, scared out of their wits as always. Seeing ghosts tends to do that to you, not to mention those pureblood children with older siblings who find it amusing to lie about the House test. (Yes, Fred and George Weasley, I know you lie to younger students about that. A troll...not a bad trick, though a bit mean.)

But this was no ordinary group of first years: Harry Potter was among them. Ah, how well I remember the day we brought him to his relatives' house...He caused quite a stir, entering the Hall. Somehow his scar was quite prominent, even under his hair. But even though he is famous, he looked just as terrified as the other first years.

He was Sorted into Gryffindor, as I thought he might be. Any wizard who can live with such proud Muggles as the Dursleys and can come through unscathed has either remarkable stregnth or remarkable stupidity.

He is not an ordinary child, obviously. I hope this year will be unremarkable for him; goodness knows he needs a year of fun and relaxation.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

* * *

**Subject: YEAH!!!!!!!**

WE GOT POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!

Dumbledore, tell the Hat thanks! It gave us Potter! In your FACE, Slytherin!

Oh, by the way, don't use the boys' bathroom on the third floor. Just trust us on this one.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: Boys...**

Fred. George.

This is your mother. Why shouldn't people go into the boys' bathroom on the third floor? You didn't blow up a toilet, did you? If you did, don't be surprised if you recieve a nice Howler from me soon...

By the way, how is Ron? Be sure you look out for him! Such a good boy, I wouldn't want anything to happen to him.

Make sure you mind Percy, and don't you dare forget what I said about that toilet!

Many happy returns,

Your loving mother

**Posted by: Molly Weasley **

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**Subject: Mom? **

Mom? How'd you get onto this site? More importantly, how did you find out about it? Did Dumbledore tell you or something?

Oh wait...Fred's saying he probably did...Dumbledore said something about telling the parents when he announced the blog yesterday...

Anyway, we didn't blow up a toilet. Promise. It was just a little prank we pulled that got a bit out of hand, but no harm done. The only person who didn't pay attention was Percy, and he's fine. A little shaken, but not a scratch on him.

Which brings us to our next point: If he doesn't pay attention when we warn him about the bathrooms, why should we pay attention to him?

Oh...right...he's a prefect. Almost forgot, since he only mentioned it EVERY DAY THIS SUMMER!!!!

Ron is fine. He, at least, took our advice about the boys' bathroom.

Don't worry about us,

Fred and George

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: Explain Yourselves! **

What does "a little shaken" mean? What was in that bathroom? WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!

If this gets you expelled, you'll wish you were dead!

Mark my words,

Mom

**Posted by: Molly Weasley **

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**Subject: Sorry! **

Ow! No need to send that Howler, Mom! Didn't we say Percy is fine? He IS! All we did was redecorate one of the bathrooms a little and one of the decorations looked a little too lifelike. Percy got scared 'cuz he's chicken!

Please don't kill us,

Fred and George

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject?!?! **

A LITTLE TOO LIFELIKE?! That giant spider was REAL!!!!

I hope Mom kills you,

Percy

**Posted by: Percival Weasley **

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**Subject: Sorry Again! **

But everything else was fake! And how were we to know that tarantula was hungry?

If it makes you feel better, Mom, we got detention for the next two weeks with Filch. Happy?

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: Well! **

Not even a week into the term and you're already playing dangerous pranks! Honestly! My own students! You deserve everything Filch has in store for you!

Professor McGonagall

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall **

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**Subject: Hmph. **

Two weeks' worth? You deserve more.

**Posted by: Percival Weasley **

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**Subject: Come ON! **

You didn't get hurt! And come ON! You're our BROTHER! Do you think we'd intentionally try to get you killed?

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: In my opinion...**

Ah, the blood traitor filth, Weasleys.

I have to say I'm not at all shocked you have already got yourselves into trouble so early in the year. You complain about two weeks with Filch. If you were in _my _House, I can assure you your punishment would be much, much worse.

I may not be your Head of House, but be warned. I will be watching you. Everything you do, rest assured, I will know.

I will keep you in line.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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_Well, that's the first chapter. Tell me what you think...that pretty little Review button is calling for you..._

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	2. Chapter 2

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**Subject: So will we...**

We'll be watching you too, Professor. Carefully, as you keep us in line and tell us how much worse our punishment would've been if we'd been in your House. And how _dare_ you call us filthy blood traitors?

You know, we're so mad at you, we won't even tell you about that little booby trap we set up in the dungeons.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: Hmm...**

If you did what I think you've done in the dungeons, you'll be in for much worse than a few weeks' detention...

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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**Subject: You little...**

Fifteen points from Gryffindor for your cheek, Weasleys. I'd take away more, but Dumbledore has informed me that since there was no prank, I can't take more than fifteen. But mark my words, you'll be sorry...

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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**Subject: Hahaha!!!!**

You fell for it! You didn't _really_ think we'd set up another prank so soon, did you?

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Actually...**

I _did _think you'd set up another prank so soon. Which just goes to show how little I trust you two. Keep that in mind the next time you want to do something stupid.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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**Subject: Okay**

We'll be pondering that fact the whole time we're doing something stupid.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: Fred! George! **

Be respectful! Don't talk to a teacher like that!

**Posted by: Molly Weasley**

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**Subject: Mo-om...**

No comment.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

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**Subject: I'm impressed**

That's the first shred of wisdom you've shown since you started posting here.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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**Subject: Maybe...**

Maybe it's the wrong Weasleys. Real Weasleys don't show wisdom.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

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**Subject: Nope**

Nope. We sure don't. :D

Maybe that should be our new slogan: "REAL Weasleys show no wisdom!"

We are pleased, Malfoy...

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Grr...**

Now you see what you've created, Malfoy? They've been repeating that idiotic phrase _all day_!

If you weren't in my House, I would take away points for causing that.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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**Subject: But...**

But it's _true_!

Besides, it's kind of funny...

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

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**Subject: REAL Weasleys...**

SHOW NO WISDOM!!!!!!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: YAAAHHH!!!!**

See what I mean?

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

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**Subject: Surrender**

To the MADNESS!!!!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Cool!**

I like that song!

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

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**Subject: Huh? **

What song?

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Oh...right...**

It's a muggle song...called Surrender...I don't know who sings it...you might be able to find it online or something...The Durselys never really liked it, but I heard it a couple times on accident.

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

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**Subject: Weird, but thanks! **

We had no idea there was a Muggle band called Cheap Trick, or that they wrote an AWESOME song called "Surrender!"

(sings) Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird...surrender, SURRENDER! but don't give yourself away!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Minus Two**

Two points from Gryffindor for providing the Weasley twins with yet another way to annoy me, Mr. Potter.

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

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**Subject: I didn't mean to...**

Honest, I didn't!

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

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**Subject: Relax...**

It's no big deal, Harry. It was just two points. I'll probably end up losing us more...

**Posted by: Ronald Weasley**

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_I know the chapters have both been short, but I'll probably update pretty frequently, provided the plot bunny doesn't run away. _


	3. Chapter 3

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**Subject: A wizard's blog! **

Wow...I see I've gotten here a little late...I don't know how that happened, really, I know I was listening when Dumbledore announced the blog...I just must've gotten busy with homework and things like that...

Anyway, this blog is a very cool idea. I didn't even know wizards had blogs, since none of the books I've read say anything about them. I guess they don't consider blogs to be noteworthy in terms of magic, since Muggles have them too. Then again, Muggles don't have anti-tracing spells...

I love this school so far--the classes are the most interesting I've ever seen--but the stairways are very confusing. I accidentally wound up on the fourth floor yesterday when I meant to go to the second and Filch got mad at me. I guess I shouldn't have gotten scared, since I haven't done anything that could possibly get me in trouble, but he can look _scary _when he's mad!

By the way, did everyone hear what the Weasley twins did? Honestly! Putting a giant spider in the bathroom _during the first week of the term_! What would make anyone do anything like that is beyond me.

**Posted by: Hermione Granger **

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**Subject: F-U-N**

It's called "fun," Miss Granger, and that is what makes us do the things we do. Of course, you wouldn't know anything about that, since you're always doing homework...Tell us, Hermione, do you ever do anything other than homework? You know...eat...sleep...enchant teacups so they roar at people...not that we've ever done the last one, but we do enjoy the first two very much.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: That explains a lot! **

So _that's _what you were doing all last term! Contemplating new pranks! A useless way to spend your time, especially with finals looming...

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall **

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**Subject: HMPH! **

For your information, I _do _eat and sleep just as much as any other person. I just do my homework more than you--which is a far better use of my time, compared to dreaming up useless pranks.

**Posted by: Hermione Granger **

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**Subject: Finals and HMPH! to you too! **

Finals aren't exactly looming anymore, Professor. Besides, we passed, didn't we?

And as for you, Miss Granger, we hardly consider time spent plotting a good joke to be time wasted. That giant spider in the bathroom was just a warm-up. REAL magical pranks are well worth the time and pain spent on them.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Barely**

That is the key word. _Barely. _You _barely _passed your exams.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

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**Subject: But we passed! **

The point is, we passed them. We lived to prank another day!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Hmmm...**

I would think that in your position, you wouldn't argue with a teacher, much less the head of your House. You hardly have room to talk, Weasleys, as one more wrong move could get you expelled.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

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**Subject: But...**

We _haven't _made any more wrong moves! We've made all the right ones! Well, since the Spider Incident, anyways...

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Uhh...**

Change of topic, anyone?

**Posted by: Ronald Weasley**

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**Subject: Change of topic? **

Sounds good to me! How about we ponder how the Weasleys can afford a computer to post on this blog?

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

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**Subject: Public blog!**

It's a public blog, Malfoy! Leave Ron alone!

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

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**Subject: Or what? **

Or what, Potter? You'll send Ron after me? I'm so scared I'm shaking...

Besides, what does the fact that this is a public blog have to do with the fact that the Weasels probably can't afford a decent computer?

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

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**Subject: More is better**

There's more of us, Malfoy. Can't you count? It's four against one--five, if you count Potter. And it's WeasLEY.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

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**Subject: Haha...**

Do you honestly think you can take me? You lay one finger on me, and my father will crush you faster than you can say "blood traitor." Ministry connections outdo any pathetic fighting you can manage.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

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	4. Chapter 4

_Just so you know, I'll be away for the next week and don't know if I'll be able to update or not. I'll do my best, though. _

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**Subject: Personal Blogs**

Seeing as how everyone on here is so opinionated (and after seeing one or two first years crying at their computers), Dumbledore and I have decided to give each student the opportunity to create a personal blog and an IM account. These will be as private or as public as you wish. You may continue posting on the public blog if you so choose, but please keep your choice insults out of the public sector.

(Yes, Draco, I am talking to you. You caused this. Don't be proud.)

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

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**The Ramblings of a New Student **

**_Hermione Granger _**

As soon as Professor McGonagall announced personal blogs, I got one. They're quite handy, considering that they're protected not only with passwords, but with protective spells--you know, anti-hacking spells. I heard a rumor that if you hesitate with entering your password too long, a literal firewall will come between you and the keyboard. My parents had a blog and they _never _had that problem. Too bad they can't see this one. Professor McGonagall said that to Muggles, it just looks like the site is down.

I know I mentioned this before, but those stairways are _awful_! Awful and amazing at the same time! I guess they're just amazing because I've never seen anything like them before, but that trick step has already gotten me twice! Ugh! You'd think that after three weeks here I'd have gotten the hang of it, but nooo...

Anyways, I'm already doing pretty well in my classes. Good thing, too, because Dad said that if we're going to have a witch in the family, she'd better be good at it. He was joking...sort of. I think.

Transfiguration is one of the most interesting classes I have, but it's the hardest. So far, I'm the only one who's managed to turn a match into a needle, which is pretty cool. Defense Against the Dark Arts is interesting, too. These past three weeks have pretty much torn to pieces whatever I thought of vampires and werewolves. Muggle legends are nothing compared to real information about the real thing.

I guess that's all I have to say about my first few weeks at Hogwarts.

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**Comments: **

_Don't worry, Hermione. You'll catch on to the staircases before too long. And let me congratulate you one more time at being top in your year at Transfiguration. Keep up the good work! _

_Professor McGonagall _

_P.S.: The firewall rumor is just that--a rumor. _

_

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**Uhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley _**

Yeah. This is my blog.

Can't think of much to say. Malfoy stinks. Harry's cool. (I blocked Malfoy from this blog, by the way.)

Can't stand Potions.

Otherwise, I love it here. Hogwarts is just as fun as all my brothers told me it is.

Got homework. Bye.

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**Comments: **

_Woohoo! First to comment! Malfoy does stink, doesn't he? But this school rules! Oh, and REAL Weasleys show no wisdom! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

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_Hey...you mentioned me in your blog! Cool! I love Hogwarts, too. _

_Harry Potter _

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**Thoughts from Crabbe and Goyle**

We lik cheez.

And pi.

Kwidditch is kool, two.

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**Comments: **

_Umm...great. You spelled cheese, pie, like, Quidditch and cool wrong. _

_Draco Malfoy_

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_HAHA, Draco! My friends are smarter than your friends! _

_Ronald Weasley_

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_We'll see about THAT, Weasley. _

_Draco Malfoy _

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_At least Harry can spell pie right!_

_Ronald Weasley_

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	5. Chapter 5

_Here's one more chapter before I leave...I might post more tomorrow, but I wanted to get this down. Enjoy! _

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**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

Uh...yeah. I'm Harry Potter, and this is my blog.

Great way to start a blog, huh? Well, considering this is the first blog I've ever posted on--wizard's or not--I've got some learning to do.

Why does everyone go crazy when someone says "Voldemort?" It's like it's a cuss word or something. I know he's evil--the most evil wizard in the last century, from what I hear--but there's no harm in saying his name, is there? Then again, maybe there's some kind of weird magic connected with his name that I don't know about yet. Like I said, I'm new to the wizarding world.

Hogwarts is fun. I love it here. The only classes I don't like are History of Magic and Potions, both because of the teachers. Snape is mean and Binns is boring. (I just realized how grateful I am for all these privacy spells and stuff. Imagine if Snape and Binns read that!)

So...yeah. By the way, Ron is cool. Malfoy is not.

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_Be careful when you say his name, Harry. He's called He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for a good reason. _

_Professor McGonagall _

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_I still can't believe you say his name! I'm impressed and shocked all at the same time. Don't do it again! _

_Ronald Weasley_

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_You're cooler than Malfoy--and you can spell pie right. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

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_Huh? _

_Harry Potter_

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_Check Crabbe and Goyle's blog. It's hilarious! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

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**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy _**

You heard the title. I'm pretty much awesome. Deal with it, Potter.

Ever since Crabbe and Goyle posted their first ever blog post, I've had quite a few people taunt me about hanging out with morons. Telling me that they're stupid and have the IQ of a donut--but only when they rub their one brain cell each together.

(Note to self: Be nicer to Mudbloods. Only Muggles and those who have lived with them know what IQs and donuts are.)

Though nobody will read this blog anytime soon, I'll say it here. In defense of Crabbe and Goyle: They're stupid. _Uncommonly _stupid. But they're handy to have around.

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**Comments: **

_We R NOT stoopid! _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

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_Hey, didn't I just say I like having you guys around? _

_Draco Malfoy_

_----------------------------------_

_Uhhh...yah...soree..._

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

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**Memoirs of the Pranksters **

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

Hey, could somebody tell Crabbe and Goyle thanks? Their blog is the funniest thing we've ever read--and we know funny!

Unfortunately, Filch does not. Our detention consisted of two weeks of pain and misery, after which we started a blog. Yeah.

Actually, the pain and misery part wasn't that bad, because we come back to the most hilarious post we've ever seen! We didn't know it was possible to spell pie wrong, but apparently it is, because Crabbe and Goyle have done it.

No more pranks for now, in case our loyal fans were disappointed. (Yes, we know who you are and we LOVE ya!) Howlers are never fun, and we heard a rumor about E-Howlers. Wonder how those would work...would the screen burst into flames if you didn't read it or something? Or would it just sit there screaming at you to OPEN THE DAMN THING!!!!!

Hmmmm...hope it's just a rumor. Ordinary Howlers are bad enough.

* * *

**Comments: **

_It's just a rumor. Besides, adults would rather communicate through letters. They think it's far more personal, and there's something immensely satisfying about opening a letter written by hand and delivered by owl. _

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_Thank goodness for that. And yeah, owls are more fun. I dunno...a computer can't find you if you get lost. _

_Ronald Weasley _

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**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter_**

Wow.

That's all I can say after reading Crabbe and Goyle's blog.

That, and reading their blog is a surefire way to feel smarter.

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**Comments: **

_Isn't it? I hope they post more often and don't block us. Just don't comment too much, and they shouldn't pick up on it. Besides, I don't think they've figured out how to block people yet. _

_Ronald Weasley _

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**Thoughts from Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

We R NOT stoopid!

Jsut cuz we cant spell doesnt meen were dum!

Draco, kwit laffing at us! We no u do!

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Actually, Crabbe and Goyle, it DOES mean you're dumb.

I've had to bite back a LOT of snide remarks, looking at their blog. Maybe I shouldn't take so much pleasure in their stupidity...but I can't help it. It's funny!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Their blog is awesome, isn't it? I mean...Theyre blog is awsum, isnt it? _

_Fred and George Weasley _

_---------------------------------------_

_So funny! Makes me feel smart..._

_Harry Potter_

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	6. Chapter 6

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**Memiors of the Pranksters**

_**Fred and George Weasley **_

Remember a few weeks ago, how we posted on the public blog that we liked "Surrender" by Cheap Trick? Well, we lied. We _love _"Surrender" by Cheap Trick. We also love "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zepplin, but we're not quite sure what to make of "Ballroom Blitz" by The Sweet. It sounds really cool, but the lyrics...well, we'll post 'em here and let you decide what you think of 'em.

_Oh, lately it's been so hard, livin' with the things you do to me, uh huh_

_My dreams are gettin' so strange, I'd like to tell you everything I see, uh huh _

_OH! I see a man in the back, as a matter of fact h__is eyes are as red as the sun!_

_And the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her __'cuz she thinks SHE'S the passionate one!_

_OH! YEAH!!! It was like lightning! _

_Everybody was frightening! _

_And the music was soothing! _

_And they all started grooving! _

_Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_[Chorus And the man in the back said "Everyone attack!" and it turned into a ballroom blitz_

_And the girl in the corner said "Boy, I better warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!" _

_Ballroom blitz_

_Reaching out for something, touching nothing's all I ever do_

_Oh, I softly call you over, when you appear there's nothing left of you, uh huh_

_OH! And the man in the back looks ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky!_

_And the girl in the corner is everyone's mourner 'cuz she can kill you with a wink of her eye!_

_OH! YEAH!!!! It was electric! _

_So frightfully hectic!_

_And the band started leaving!_

_'Cuz they all stopped breathing! _

_Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_[Chorus_

_OH! YEAH!!! It was like lightning! _

_Everybody was frightening!_

_And the music was soothing! _

_And they all started grooving!_

_Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_[Chorus_

_This is a ballroom blitz, this is a ballroom blitz_

_This is a ballroom blitz, YEAH!!! IT'S A BALLROOM BLITZ!!! _

And yeah. That's "Ballroom Blitz." We enchanted it so you can hear the song...doesn't it sound cool? But...we don't know...everyone always said You-Know-Who's eyes were red...

What do you guys think of it?

* * *

_Holy... A Muggle saw You-Know-Who and wrote a song about it! I don't think you boys should be listening to that song..._

_Molly Weasley_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Why not? _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Because You-Know-Who is no laughing matter. _

_Molly Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_I liked it..._

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------------------_

_Mom, it's not about You-Know-Who! It's about a dream the singer had!_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Now that you mention it, it IS a little creepy..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_Yes, a dream about You-Know-Who!_

_Molly Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_Your mother is right: the song isn't school appropriate. Dumbledore will be hearing about this, boys._

_Severus Snape _

_

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_

**Subject: Ballroom Blitz**

It has come to my attention that the song "Ballroom Blitz" has caused some controversy around Hogwarts. Staff and students alike have debated whether or not the song is about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and some have gotten offended that people could be so flippant about a man so evil. Consequently, I and the rest of the teachers have decided that the song will be banned. No singing it in the corridors, no posting it on your personal blogs, no handing out copies of the lyrics. It's the only way to avoid controversy. Anyone who has posted it on their blog must take off the enchantments that let people hear the song. I'm currently working on a feature that lets students delete certain posts.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

* * *

**Subject: Apology **

We're very sorry about posting "Ballroom Blitz." We had no idea it would offend some people, and we weren't trying to cause controversy. We were just trying to start a semi-intellegent discussion about the merits of the song. We will delete that post as soon as possible.

P.S.: Dumbledore, thanks for not giving us detention or anything like that. Professor Snape, a big apology to you. We realize it offended you pretty deeply, and we're sorry. We honestly didn't mean to.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley **

* * *

**Memoirs of the Pranksters**

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

Well, we didn't get detention. Thank goodness for that.

We had no idea a simple song could cause so much controversy, or that a teensy little mistake would make Snape hate us even more.

Actually, we didn't know it was possible for Snape to hate us more than he already does, but apparently it is. He took away ten points because we didn't clean up quickly enough in Potions. Later, in the corridors, he threatened to take away more if we didn't quit smiling.

In short, he's pissed.

Wonder if we can bribe him or something...anything to get him to stop hating us so much...

* * *

_Well, maybe if you used a tiny more discretion..._

_Molly Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_You've been taking your new catchphrase (REAL Weasleys show no wisdom) too literally. I'm just glad I'm not you. _

_Percival Weasley_

* * *

_You know the drill. Review, and I'm happy. Don't review, and I send Voldemort after you. It's that simple. _


	7. Chapter 7

_OK, I'm back. Glory and trumpets! lol. Anyways, here's the next chapter..._

**

* * *

**

**BoyWhoLived: **Hey Ron. You on?

**ISpellPieRight: **Would you be talking to me if I wasn't?

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh, right. Sorry.

**ISpellPieRight: **Anyways...

**BoyWhoLived: **Anyways, why do you think Snape hasn't gotten fired yet? I mean, after letting that troll in on Halloween...

**CuriousNewbie: **Careful what you say, Harry! Remember how Snape got onto Fred and George's blog?

**BoyWhoLived: **Right. Sorry.

**ISpellPieRight: **Come on, Hermione! It's not like he's watching this IM chat thingy!

**PotionsMaster: **Guess again, Weasley.

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh...sorry about that, Professor...I didn't mean it, honest!

**PotionsMaster: **Be careful what you say, Potter, or you'll be expelled.

**BoyWhoLived: **Expelled? For _that_?

**ProudGryffindor: **Malfoy, get out of their IM conversation! Not only is it supposed to be private, but impersonating a teacher! Twenty points from Slytherin!

**PotionsMaster: **How'd you know it was me?!

**ProudGryffindor: **Teachers have admin accounts. We can bypass the anti-tracing spells if we suspect students of breaking the rules. Now, you have thirty seconds to log off and get OUT of this conversation before I take away more than twenty!

**BoyWhoLived: **Thanks.

**CuriousNewbie: **How'd he do that? I mean, it's good he didn't get away with it, but...how did he manage to...

**ProudGryffindor: **I don't know, but Dumbledore will hear about this, mark my word!

**ProudGryffindor: **By the way, Harry, be more careful about what you say online. Especially about teachers.

**BoyWhoLived: **OK...thanks, Professor McGonagall...and sorry.

**ProudGryffindor: **That's okay. Just keep it in mind for future reference. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to hunt down a certain Slytherin and decide what kind of detention he'll recieve.

* * *

**Subject: I'm Very Sorry**

Potter, I'm sorry for hacking into Professor Snape's account and using his IM name to scare you. Professor Snape, I'm sorry for impersonating you. It won't happen again.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I got detention.

Stupid.

Because I hacked into Snape's account to scare Potter.

Dad's going to hear about this. I sent him an owl last night, after I finished detention with McGonagall.

And now they've set up all these new rules so you can't change your username except for with special permission.

Stupid.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Serves you right, Malfoy. I'll see you in detention tomorrow, right after dinner. And there's nothing your father can do about it. _

_Professor McGonagall _

_

* * *

_

**ISpellPieRight: **YEAH!!!!! Malfoy got detention!

**BoyWhoLived: **WOOT!

**IShowNoWisdom: **Though you have to admit, that was a pretty good prank he pulled...

**CuriousNewbie: **It was mean!

**Prankster4Life: **Mean, but brilliant.

**CuriousNewbie: **Fred, don't be so...

**Prankster4Life: **So what? And I'm George.

**IShowNoWisdom: **LOL! Even online you can't tell us apart!

**CuriousNewbie: **At least we know that prank can't happen again.

**ISpellPieRight: **It might be kind of funny if Fred or George pulled it on Malfoy, though...

**Prankster4Life: **That's why I said it was brilliant. Cuz I'd love to pull it on a certain someone...

**BoyWhoLived: **A certain someone named Draco Malfoy?

**IShowNoWisdom: **No, a certain someone whose name starts with P and ends with Ercy.

**ISpellPieRight: **You mean Percy?

**IShowNoWisdom: **Yep.

**ISpellPieRight: **Mom can see this blog, you know...

**IShowNoWisdom: **Yeah, that's why we're not gonna do it. But it'd still be cool to impersonate McGonagall and tell him he's failed or something...

**CuriousNewbie: **That'd be mean!

**Prankster4Life: **It'd be FUN!

**CuriousNewbie: **I have some homework to do. Goodbye.

**BoyWhoLived: **Bye, Hermione!

**CuriousNewbie: **If you had any sense, Harry and Ron, you'd be doing homework, too.

**ISpellPieRight: **Better obey Hermione. See ya.

**BoyWhoLived: **I'd better go, too. Bye!

* * *

**ProudPureblood: **I can't believe I got detention.

**ImCrabbe: **ya.

**ImGoyle: **so dum.

**ProudPureblood: **Can't you guys TRY to spell right?

**ImGoyle: **its calld chatspeek. u dont hav 2 spell rite.

**ImCrabbe: **ya. its akchally incuriged.

**ProudPureblood: **It's irritating.

**ImGoyle: **surender 2 tha madnes, draco...

**ProudPureblood: **Don't even get me started.

**ImCrabbe: **on wat?

**ProudPureblood: **On how stupid that song is.

**ImCrabbe: **wat song?

**ProudPureblood: **Surrender...by Cheap Trick...

**ImCrabbe: **hu?

**ProudPureblood: **Never mind.

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Let me tell you a secret.

First, let me make sure I've got Mom and Dad blocked from this post.

OK, they are.

They'll never know this post exists.

Anyways, the secret. Since nobody but me will ever see this, I can say it:

I like "Surrender" by Cheap Trick.

Yes, I know those blood traitor Weasleys love it. I know it annoys Snape to no end. And I know it was written and sung by Muggles. I still like it.

I also like Led Zepplin.

Mom and Dad can never know...

But I still like it.

I will now delete this post. Yes, I'm paranoid right now.

Led Zepplin RULES!!!!

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**

* * *

**

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Can't...get...muggle...song...out...of...head...

Yep. You guessed it. I've had "The Immigrant Song" stuck in my head for the past three weeks. Ever since I made a little journey into the world of Muggle music, every song by Led Zepplin I've heard has gotten stuck in my head. Not that I mind, of course, but still...it's a little embarrassing to admit you're a fan of Muggle music.

Muggles may be stupid, but they write good music.

* * *

**I Wish I Wasn't Such a Klutz**

**_Neville Longbottom_**

Something is wrong with Malfoy. He hasn't teased me all day.

Weird, I know.

In Potions, I heard him humming something. Malfoys don't hum.

Hmmm...

* * *

**Comments: **

_I noticed the same thing. Snape almost got annoyed with him. _

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------------------_

_I'd love to know what it is that's making him so...tolerable. _

_Hermione Granger _

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

Guess what?

Tommorrow is my first Quidditch match! WOOT!

I was so surprised when I actually made the team...you should've seen Malfoy's face! And tommorrow I play for the first time!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

_We can't wait! Hopefully you'll be a better Seeker than the one we had last year..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Here's to beating Slytherin!_

_Percival Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Here's to beating Slytherin to a bloody pulp!_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Why a bloody pulp? _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------------_

_Because...it's Slytherin? _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Hm...maybe you should just put a giant spider in THEIR bathroom! That'd be as good as beating them to a bloody pulp; the spider would beat them up FOR you! _

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Great idea, Percy! We'll be right back. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Don't even think about it. _

_Professor McGonagall_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Good luck, Harry! I'll help you with your homework if you need it. _

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Yeah, good luck! Hermione and I will be watching! _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**Subject: WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

WE WON!!!!!!!!! In your FACE, Slytherin!

We did it, we did it, oh yeah yeah yeah!!!!!!!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: YAY FOR POTTER!!!!!!!!**

WE WON!!!!!!!!! Great job, Potter!!!!

**Posted by: Oliver Wood **

* * *

**Subject: Hmph. **

So you won one match. Big deal. Slytherin has won the House Cup six years running.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: Not for long**

Slytherin won't be at the top for long, Malfoy...Gryffindor's going to WIN this year!!!!!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Overconfidence**

You've won ONE match. There's more to winning the House Cup than winning a single Quidditch game.

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

_Sorry that chapter was so short, but that just seemed like a good place to end for now. I'll have another chapter up soon. _


	9. Chapter 9

_

* * *

_

**Diary of a Potions Master **

**_Severus Snape_**

Before now, I wasn't familiar with Muggle music, nor was I a fan of the little I'd heard. Classic rock? No thank you. I prefer wizard bands. They, at least, sing about things I'm familiar with. Now that so-called "classic rock" has gained a fanbase here at Hogwarts, I can honestly say that I hate it.

Perhaps this hatred is due to the fact that the Weasley twins have been singing "Surrender" nonstop, or that the first full song I heard (sung by the original artists and not the Weasleys) struck me as offensive, insensitive, and hopelessly naive. Either way, I don't like classic rock and I don't like Muggle music.

Unfortunately, Dumbledore has informed me that I can't subtract points for singing or humming in class or in the hallways. This, on top of the fact that the student I thought most likely to be my ally through this fiasco has apparently betrayed me. Yes, Draco Malfoy has been humming and whistling various tunes--including "Surrender." That song is really getting on my nerves.

This fad will fade soon enough. I'll just sit and wait for that day, hoping it comes soon.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I wasn't particularily taken with "Ballroom Blitz," either, but you're being a bit uptight, don't you think? "Stairway to Heaven" is actually quite beautiful. I'd think it was written by wizards if I didn't know better. _

_Filius Flitwick _

_--------------------------------------_

_Don't you have better things to do than spend your time listening to that Muggle garbage? _

_Severus Snape_

_------------------------------------_

_I find it helps me concentrate and unwind after a long day--especially the days when I've been teaching the Summoning and Banishing Charms. _

_Filius Flitwick_

_-------------------------------------_

_Lighten up, Severus. _

_Minerva McGonagall_

* * *

**Memiors of the Pranksters**

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

Muggle music is AWESOME!!!!!

Yes, we've branched out a bit--out of the realm of classic rock and into the realm of other music--and we LIKE what we've been hearing!

Since the last song we posted didn't go over too well, we've decided on one that can't possibly be considered insensitive or offensive. So, here's a song by Relient K.

_All the pretty girls in the bathroom talkin'_

_Who they gonna take to the Sadie Hawkins? _

_My ears were burnin' but I kept on walkin'_

_Smile on my face and an air guitar rockin' _

_(Chorus) The Sadie Hawkin's Dance_

_And my khaki pants_

_There's nothing better, oh oh oh_

_The girls ask the guys _

_It's always a surprise_

_There's nothing better_

_Baby, do you like my sweater? _

_Sittin' in the back of my next class nappin'_

_Gotta give a speech, then bow to the clappin'_

_Told a funny joke, got the whole class laughin' _

_Think I got a tan from the light in which I was baskin' _

_(Chorus) _

_Scan the cafeteria for some good seating_

_Found a good spot by the cheerleaders eating_

_The quarterback asked me if I'd like a beating_

_I said "That's one thing I won't be needing."_

_Well, since I'm rather smart and cunning_

_I took off down the next hall running_

_Only to get stopped by a girl so stunning_

_Only to get stopped by a girl...so...stunning_

_She said "You're smooth_

_And good with talkin'_

_You're goin' with me to the Sadie Hawkins." _

_(Chorus X2) _

After a meticulous search of the Internet, we found out that the Sadie Hawkins Dance is an American Muggle tradition in schools where the girls ask the boys, instead of the other way around. A quarterback is the Muggle equivalent of a Quidditch team captain (we think).

* * *

**Comments: **

I'm going to petition Dumbledore to have Muggle music banned. 

_Professor Snape_

_----------------------------------_

_He won't do it, you know. _

_Professor McGonagall _

_----------------------------------_

_Come on, Professor! We all like it! _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**Subject: Muggle Music**

As it stands, there is no chance of Muggle music being banned (with the obvious exception of "Ballroom Blitz"). I'm sorry, Professor Snape, but everyone else enjoys Muggle music. Students, please be courteous of those who don't like Muggle music and listen to it quietly in your common rooms, and refrain from singing in the corridors.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Journal of a Transfiguration Teacher**

**_Minerva McGonagall _**

These past few weeks have proven to me what I've thought all along: Severus has no taste in music.

Sorry, Severus, but it's true. You hate "Stairway to Heaven" because it's written by Muggles, loathe "Surrender" for the same reason, and won't even give Relient K or Within Temptation a chance! Admittedly, Relient K is a bit annoying, but Within Temptation is actually quite talented. Listen to "Stand My Ground" if you want proof.

Obviously, I'm quite enjoying this new trend. It has given me insight into another culture through one of their most diverse forms of art. I hope to find other Muggle bands I enjoy as much as Within Temptation.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Told you it was an awesome band. _

_Percival Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I didn't think you'd stoop so low as to insult my musical preferences, Minerva. If you insult mine, I can insult yours. And I don't need to listen to Within Temptation to know they're untalented. _

_Severus Snape_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Fine. I'm sorry I insulted you. Quit insulting me. _

_Minerva McGongall_

_

* * *

There we go! R&R! _


	10. Chapter 10

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts from...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

I got detention.

My first detention at Hogwarts.

I can't believe it.

On top of all that, my Quidditch team hates me for losing them all those points.

This is not going well.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Eh, don't worry, Harry. We've had a lot of detentions before, and we made it out alive. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_We'll earn those points back...somehow. Does Filch like bribes? _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts from...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

I saw Voldemort.

Holy crap...

* * *

**Comments: **

_STOP SAYING HIS NAME!!!! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_He's not SAYING it, he's TYPING it! _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------_

_What's the difference?!_

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_I don't know...but there IS one! He can type Voldemort's name if he darn well feels like it! _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------_

_NOT YOU TOO!!!! STOP TYPING HIS NAME!!!! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_OK, OK, fine. What do you call him?_

_Hermione Granger _

_-----------------------------------_

_You-Know-Who. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_Voldemort is easier to type. _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------_

_YAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_Oops! Sorry..._

_Hermione Granger_

_

* * *

_

**Uhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

My two best friends say and type You-Know-Who's name all the time! I know you were raised by Muggles, guys, but please STOP SAYING HIS NAME!!!!!

* * *

**Comments: **

_OK, OK, sorry! We could call him...I dunno..._

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------_

_How about You-Know-Who out there, and...YKW on here?_

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------_

_Good idea. I was going to suggest Phil, but YKW is actually easier to type. _

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------_

_Phil? You wanted to call the most evil wizard in the world...Phil? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_Hey...we like! Watch out for Phil, everyone! _

_Fred and George Weasley  
----------------------------------_

_Uhhh...I was kinda joking..._

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------------_

_Who cares? We LOVE jokes! _

_OH NO!!!! IT'S PHIL!!!!! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

This is going to be a trying year.

It's not even over yet and and already the Weasley twins have posted an offensive song (and have found dozens more annoying ones), made Muggle music popular, and now they've decided to call the Dark Lord...Phil.

If this seems ludicrous to you, that's becauseit _is _ludicrous. Not only that, but it sounds...wrong. "Harry Potter defeated Phil!" "Phil is going to take over the wizarding world!" "Look out!! It's Phil!"

No. It sounds wrong.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Interesting. _

_Minerva McGonagall

* * *

_

**Subject: Phil**

It has come to my attention that a popular name for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is now Phil. Stop it. Some find it offensive, and everyone else who doesn't think it's funny finds it annoying. Don't call You-Know-Who Phil. Just call him YKW.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

* * *

**Memiors of the Pranksters**

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

We can't call YKW Phil anymore. Sad days.

It was so much fun, too!

Stupid...why'd people have to get offended by it?

* * *

**Comments: **

_Because he's wicked and calling him Phil is just...wrong. _

_Professor McGonagall _

_-----------------------------------_

_YKW is easier to type, anyways. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_Yeah, but Phil is easier to say than You-Know-Who. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**

* * *

Subject: Finals**

Finals take place soon. No cheating; we've made sure that can't happen. Good luck.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall **

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Finals. Oh crap.

I've never taken a wizard's final before...and I never did an amazing job on Muggle finals, either. Granted, it was a little hard to study in a cupboard under the stairs, but still...

I'll probably fail. At least in Potions, anyways.

* * *

**Comments: **

_If you study, you should do fine. _

_Professor McGongall_

_--------------------------------------_

_If you're worried about finals, get off the computer and STUDY!!!!_

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------_

_OK, OK, I'm getting off! _

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I know I should be studying. If there's one thing money can't buy, it's good marks. Dumbledore made that much clear, and so did Dad. Stupid.

Anyway, I don't feel like studying. Tell you the truth, I feel like listening to music. That's what I'm doing right now...along with being happy that I found a way to block Mom and Dad from this blog and not have to delete all my posts. 'Cuz I don't think they've changed their minds about Muggle music...

But I still like it.

Just one more round of Relient K and then I'll go study...

OK, maybe one more...

Just once more...

* * *

**Subject: Voldemort**

Yes. He was alive. And yes, he was here.

I know that there have been some rumors floating around, and let me assure you that the one where Voldemort is haunting different toilets in the bathrooms is untrue. That would be the ghost of Moaning Myrtle, and she hides in ONE toilet in ONE girls' bathroom. I won't say who has been perpetuating those rumors, but you know who you are. Stop it. You're causing irrational fears of using the bathrooms.

Harry Potter is currently in the hospital wing, but he should be fine. Voldemort is gone, and we have nothing to worry about.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: Yeesh...**

It was a joke and everyone knew it! It's not my fault people can't recognize a JOKE!

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**Subject: Wow...**

Even WE wouldn't sink that low.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Shut up**

I DIDN'T sink "that low." I told ONE person as a JOKE and I thought they'd recognize it as one. It's not my fault people are stupid.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**Subject: YKW**

Can we PLEASE call him that?

**Posted by: Ronald Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Ron...**

As I told your friend Harry, fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. A simple name is nothing to be afraid of.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: Harry!? **

You mean...he's awake? Can we go see him? Is he OK?

**Posted by: Hermione Granger**

* * *

**Subject: Yes**

Harry is fine. You may go see him, but Madame Pomfrey requests that you limit your visit to a few minutes.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

**

* * *

Subject: The End**

We have reached the end of another year, and a very interesting year it has been! There is no need to tell you everything that happened, but if you happened to be asleep this entire year, just ask somebody who wasn't.

It appears Slytherin has won the House championship once again, making them the champions seven years in a row. Quite impressive. However, expect a surprise at tonight's feast.

This blog will be inactive during the summer for the simple reason that all the teachers would be too busy to watch it, and I expect most of the students will be too busy to post. (And there is the strong temptation for teachers to subtract points over the summer, and that's not fair.)

So goodbye, and enjoy your summer!

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

I can't believe the year is over already! It's almost too soon...

Other than Malfoy and that encounter with Voldemort, I like Hogwarts. I don't want to go back to the Dursley's, that's for sure.

Oh well. I can still write...

* * *

**Comments: **

_We'll miss you this summer, Harry. Maybe you can come visit, though...that'd be cool! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_I'll write as often as I can. I promise. If only they were keeping the blog up over the summer..._

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------_

_Oh well. I don't have a computer anyway, and the Dursleys probably wouldn't let me use theirs. I'll write a LOT. _

_Harry Potter _

* * *

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

Ah, summer. In all my years of teaching, I have never looked forward to a summer holiday as much as I have looked forward to this one. This mostly thanks to the Weasley twins and their irritating music--and their new, annoying habit of calling the Dark Lord Phil and shouting their catchphrase to the sky.

But this summer is my vacation from them. I will make the most of it, for it will be over far too soon.

* * *

**Comments: **

_It's not that bad, Severus. Besides, they stopped calling YKW Phil. You'll have nothing to worry about next year. _

_Filius Flitwick_

_------------------------------_

_Oh, how little you know, Filius..._

_Severus Snape_

_-----------------------------_

_What's THAT supposed to mean?!_

_Filius Flitwick_

_----------------------------_

_They only stopped calling him Phil because they were forced to, and next year, they'll bring their annoying music back to Hogwarts with them. _

_Severus Snape_

_-------------------------_

_If you can't beat them, join them..._

_Filius Flitwick_

_------------------------_

_I'll never join them. _

_Severus Snape _

* * *

**Subject: WOOT!!!!!! **

Potter and his friends won us the House contest!!!! In your FACE, Slytherin!!!!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

And I thought we were going to LOSE!!!! Great job, Potter!!!! You won 'em all back!!!!

**Posted by: Oliver Wood**

* * *

**Subject: So? **

You won by 10 points. Big deal.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**Subject: WE STILL WON!!!! **

We still won!!! And that's all that matters!!!!!

**Posted by: Ronald Weasley**

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

_

* * *

_

**Subject: Welcome Back! **

Like the title says, welcome back to Hogwarts! I hope you all had a good summer. I know I did. Begin posting as soon as you please! I know that I am looking forward to another exciting year!

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: Honestly! **

I know that every year, _someone _has to be the first to get in trouble, but _why _must it always be one of _my _students? Actually, this year it's two. Harry and Ron, I've got my eye on you...

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

* * *

**Subject: We didn't mean to! **

Honest, we didn't! Like we said before, the entrance to the platform was closed! We couldn't get on if we'd wanted to--and trust me, we wanted to!

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

* * *

**Subject: What You Should Have Done...**

Anything but what you did!

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

* * *

**Subject: So...**

So they should've run around the station in their underwear shouting "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!" ?

Hey...maybe WE should do that next time!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Fred! George! Now is NOT the time for joking! And no, you are not, under ANY circumstances, running around King's Cross (or anywhere, for that matter) in your underwear shouting "Happy New Year!"

Ron, you have no idea how much trouble you're in!

**Posted by: Molly Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Hmm...**

Can we run around fully clothed shouting something else? Like maybe "I HEART LLAMAS!!!!"

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: No!!!**

NO!!!!!

**Posted by: Molly Weasley

* * *

**

**Subject: Sorry!!!!!!**

I guess I deserved that Howler...still, I'm SORRY!!!!!!!!!

**Posted by: Ronald Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Not the Way**

Although I can understand your desire to make a...shall we say...impressive entrance, scaring the Muggles is not the way, Mr. Potter. Perhaps you should try a more subtle way? I find the right clothes often make for an astounding entrance.

Stick with me, Potter, and you can never go wrong.

**Posted by: Gilderoy Lockhart**

* * *

**Subject: Uhhh...**

Thanks, Professor. I'm OK, though...really...

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

* * *

**Subject: Ah...**

Trying to be modest, eh? Well, modesty is one quality that might make you popular. Just don't let it get in your way.

**Posted by: Gilderoy Lockhart**

* * *

**BoyWhoLived: **Professor McGonagall, are you busy?

**ProudGryffindor: **No, Harry. What do you need?

**BoyWhoLived: **Um...does Professor Lockhart have an admin account, too?

**ProudGryffindor: **Yes, unfortunately. All teachers do.

**BoyWhoLived: **Crap...so does that mean he can monitor my IM chats and blog and stuff?

**ProudGryffindor: **He can break into your IM chats, but he can't monitor them. And yes, he can read your blog.

**BoyWhoLived: **OK...

**ProudGryffindor: **But don't worry. He's probably too busy staring at his own reflection to bother with your personal blog--which he can only break into if he suspects something fishy. More than two break-ins will alert Dumbledore, and Lockhart will have to explain himself. Your blog should be safe.

**BoyWhoLived: **OK. Thanks, Professor!

**ProudGryffindor: **You're welcome.

* * *

**BoyWhoLived: **OK, Lockhart can't monitor our IM chats.

**ISpellPieRight: **You're sure?

**BoyWhoLived: **Positive. I asked McGonagall.

**ISpellPieRight**: Good. So if I say he's self-absorbed...

**BoyWhoLived**: He'd only be able to read it if he broke into our convo.

**ISpellPieRight: **Convo?

**BoyWhoLived: **Conversation.

**ISpellPieRight:** So our IM chats are safe? Cool!

**BoyWhoLived: **Yep.

**ISpellPieRight: **Let me celebrate this by saying his turquoise robes are UGLY!!!!

**BoyWhoLived: **LOL! So true!

**CuriousNewbie:** They're not ugly!

**ISpellPieRight: **Yes they are! They're so...bright and...hideous!

**CuriousNewbie: **His turquoise robes are perfectly fine, and he has a right to wear whatever he wants!

**ISpellPieRight: **Unfortunately.

**BoyWhoLived: **Uh...guys...

**CuriousNewbie: **I have homework to do. If you had any sense, you'd quit bashing Lockhart and get to work on it, too.

**ISpellPieRight: **Well, HMPH!

**BoyWhoLived: **See you in the library, Ron.

**ISpellPieRight: **Wait...you're not gonna stay on a few more minutes just to spite her?

**BoyWhoLived: **Not when she's right.

**ISpellPieRight: **Fine. See you in the library.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**

* * *

**

Uhh...Here's My Blog 

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Lockhart is annoying. Today, he gave us a quiz on himself. A _quiz_! And he was insulted that most of us hadn't read his so-called "autobiographys" (I don't think I spelled that right...did I? I'd hate to be a worse speller than Crabbe and Goyle.) and got most of them wrong.

Should I be worried that Hermione got most of them right?

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yes. I'm worried. _

_Harry Potter _

_--------------------------------_

_You should be ashamed that you didn't read Lockhart's books more carefully! Otherwise, you wouldn't have failed that quiz. And he DID do all of those things he says he did! Just ask him! _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------_

_Oh, right, LOCKHART is the most trusted source on that topic! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------_

_I don't really like Lockhart. I tend to agree with you, Ron; he's probably a fraud. _

_By the way, it's "autobiographies," not "autobiographys." The "y" changes to an "ie." _

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Because we all know grammar is the most important thing in life! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_------------------------------_

_He ASKED! He wanted to know if he'd spelled it right because he didn't want to spell like Crabbe and Goyle! (Who, by the way, have a new blog up and still haven't figured out how to block people from it. Apparently Malfoy hasn't helped them out with it, either.)_

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------_

_Oooohhhh...the Moron Brigade has a new blog up? SWEET! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

weve disided we lik chatspeek. u dont hav 2 use good grammer or speling.

so were gonna use it mor.

2 bad we cant use it on papers.

oh wel.

are blog is gitting a lot of vews. ppl lik us, i guess.

or is it we guess? we dunno. no body coments. weerd.

o wel.

bloging is fun.

so is im.

we lik the inter net.

* * *

**Comments: **

_No comments have been posted. _

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Wow.

Again, that's all I can say after reading Crabbe and Goyle's latest blog. (Through my laughter, of course.)

I know they're Malfoy's cronies, but their blog is so funny! It makes me feel smart, even next to Hermione.

* * *

**Comments: **

_It makes me feel REALLY smart. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------_

_Their blog would make anyone feel smart! _

_You feel dumb next to me? I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you feel that way..._

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------_

_No, I don't feel stupid next to you...just...less smart than you are. _

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------_

_But don't you dare act dumber! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Are you just saying that because you need my help with your homework? _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------_

_Yes. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------_

_Oh well. Better than nothing, I guess. _

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

A new school year. Oh joy.

A new school year means one more year with the Weasley twins and their horrid "music." I honestly don't know how they can consider that stuff to be music, but they somehow manage to listen to it constantly.

Now more and more students are jumping on the "Muggle Music" bandwagon and are riding it with glee while listening to Relient K and Led Zepplin.

And I find myself needing a Permanent Silencing Charm which unfortunately does not exist. And even if it did, I'm sure Dumbledore wouldn't allow it.

* * *

**Comments:**

_Get over it, Severus. _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_-------------------------------_

_Since you obviously ignored my suggestion that you listen to "Stairway to Heaven" and Minerva's that you try Within Temptation, I'm going to suggest a new band (well, actually not "new," but they're just now becoming popular at Hogwarts. Try the Goo Goo Dolls. They're quite talented, sort of mellow, and very enjoyable to listen to. _

_Filius Flitwick _

_------------------------------_

_He's not going to, Filius..._

_Minerva McGonagall_

_------------------------------_

_For once you are right, Minerva. I have no desire to listen to the Goo Goo Dolls. _

_Severus Snape_

_----------------------------------_

_See?_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_--------------------------------_

_Oh well. It was worth a try. _

_Filius Flitwick_

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

**Magical Me**

**_Gilderoy Lockhart_**

I'm never one to miss an opportunity; as soon as the Defense Against the Dark Arts job opened up, I was the first to apply. (Well, the first applicant that _mattered. _I am, after all, the one who got the job.)

So, when I found out I could get one of these personal blogs, I got one right away. They're quite fun. And if you're wondering about the title, it was taken from the title of my autobiography, _Magical Me, _in stores now. If you bought a copy, I'd be happy to autograph it for you!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the blog. Well, I suppose I'm supposed to write about my life, so here goes:

I'm the incredibly accomplished Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. I've travelled the globe, helping people wherever I can, before returning to Britain to share my extensive knowledge with the next generation of witches and wizards. (Of course, the staff has also benefitted from my expertise...just ask Professor Sprout! I helped her cure the Whomping Willow not too long ago...but I don't want you thinking I know more than she does!)

Oh, yes. I like Hogwarts very much.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Grrrrrrr..._

_Pomona Sprout_

_-----------------------------_

_Why all the hostility, Pomona?_

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

_------------------------------_

_It's "Professor Sprout!" _

_Pomona Sprout_

_-----------------------------_

_You let the other teachers call you Pomona...and I let you call me Gilderoy..._

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

_-----------------------------_

_And I won't let you call me Pomona! It's Sprout or Professor Sprout! _

_Pomona Sprout_

_----------------------------_

_Oh. Did you like my blog? _

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

_-----------------------------_

_No!_

_Pomona Sprout_

* * *

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I can honestly say that I hate Professor Lockhart.

**ProudGryffindor: **Took you long enough.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **What do you mean?

**ProudGryffindor: **Most of the rest of us decided we hated him the moment he showed his stupid pompous face in the Great Hall.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Oh. Well, I like to give everyone a chance...

**ProudGryffindor: **So do I. I like to give them ONE chance and if they blow it, it's their own fault.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **He's annoying...

**CharmingRavenclaw: **I'll say! He can barely do a Sheild Charm and he was trying to show me how the way I'm teaching it is all wrong!

**ProudGryffindor: **Why am I not surprised?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Because he's a pompous git who needs to be fired promptly and painfully.

**ProudGryffindor: **How do you fire somebody painfully?

**ProudGryffindor: **Wait...Severus? Is that you?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Who else would be using the name "SlytherinSpellchecker"?

**Proud Gryffindor: **No one, but I was wondering why you're on MY side for once...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Because for once I can agree with you, Minerva. And as for your earlier question, you fire someone painfully by causing them pain before you fire them.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Oooohhhh...I'm normally not a fan of torture...but I daresay it sounds quite appealing right now!

**CharmingRavenclaw: **So do I! But how do we, as you say "fire him promptly and painfully"?

**SlytherinSpellchecker**: That is where we run into several problems, the most obvious of which has the initials "Albus Dumbledore."

**CharmingRavenclaw**: Hmmm...I'll let you know if I come up with anything.

**HerbologistHufflepuff**: By the way, Severus, why is your name "SlytherinSpellchecker"?

**ProudGryffindor: **Does it have anything to do with two of your students who can't spell?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Hahaha! I'd almost forgotten about Crabbe and Goyle...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Their spelling will improve, mark my words...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **That doesn't sound good...

**ProudGryffindor: **Or pleasant, at least not for Crabbe and Goyle.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Severus, are you still on?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Of course I am.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Sorry. Sometimes the little icon thingy says you're online when you've really logged off.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Anyway, what I was about to say is that you should focus your "torture energy" more on Lockhart and less on improving Crabbe and Goyle's spelling.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Hmmm...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Goodbye.

**

* * *

**


	16. Chapter 16

**HogwartsWOOT!: **Harry? Harry Potter? Is that you?

**BoyWhoLived: **Yes...who is this?

**HogwartsWOOT!: **It's me, Colin! Colin Creevey!

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh. Uh...hi, Colin...how'd you figure out it was me?

**HogwartsWOOT!: **You're the only one with the username "BoyWhoLived." Pretty impressive, if you ask me. Living, I mean. You survived YKW! (is that what they call him on here? YKW? that's what I'd heard...)

**BoyWhoLived: **Uh...yeah...don't know how I did it...

**HogwartsWOOT!: **Does it matter? I mean, you LIVED! and now you're on the Quidditch team! That's so cool! What do you play? Seeker, right? What's the seeker do? Seek stuff?

**BoyWhoLived: **Uh...yeah. Listen, I'll explain it to you later. I've got to go.

**HogwartsWOOT!: **Bye Harry! See you later, OK?

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Malfoy said the m-word!

I know I shouldn't be surprised, but still! _He called Hermione the m-word! _

Wish my stupid wand worked better..._he_ should've been the one spitting up slugs, not me!

That little...

* * *

_HE CALLED HER THE M-WORD?! _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_He sure did! We were both there! It was at Quidditch practice--by the way, they stole the pitch from us!!! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_They WHAT? _

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_We were supposed to have the Quidditch pitch at dawn today, and they TOOK it! Those gits! They got new brooms, too!_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Wait...what was Draco Malfoy doing on the Quidditch pitch? You don't mean..._

_Percival Weasley_

_-----------------------------_

_Yep. He's their new Seeker. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_----------------------------_

_Grrrrr..._

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------_

_Yeah, "Grrr" is exactly what I said. _

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------_

_Want us to kill him for you? We do assassinations cheap!_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------_

_I'd say yes if you wouldn't get in trouble. _

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------_

_Well, we were going to kill him anyway..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

I can't believe it. Malfoy is the new Slytherin Seeker.

It's just 'cuz his dad is filthy stinkin' rich, I hope you know that.

(I just realized I don't know who I'd be talking to...the computer?)

Speaking of talking, the weirdest--and scariest--thing happened to me yesterday during detention.

I was addressing fanmail for Lockhart when I heard a voice...it said something like "Come to me...let me rip you...let me tear you..."

Scared me half to death. And you know the weirdest thing?

Lockhart didn't hear it.

* * *

**Comments: **

_That's not good, Harry. Maybe you should see Madame Pomfrey. _

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------_

_Madame Pomfrey won't be able to help him much...not when all that's happening is he's hearing voices. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------_

_I was probably just tired. After all, it was almost midnight. _

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------_

_When I get tired, I don't hear voices talking about murder! _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------_

_I'm fine, Hermione. Maybe it was just my imagination. _

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------_

_Let's hope so._

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

_**Harry Potter**_

I heard the voice again...

And when I came out of the dungeons, something was written on the wall:

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED.

ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE.

I don't know what it means...

But Mrs. Norris was Petrified--she looked dead--and Malfoy says Muggle-borns are next.

I'm scared...

* * *

**Comments: **

_I'll be fine, Harry. Malfoy can't hurt me and I'm not scared of him. _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------_

_The Chamber of Secrets? But that's only a legend..._

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------_

_It's nothing. Harry didn't do anything, I know he wouldn't. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------_

_I wasn't accusing him of doing anything!_

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------_

_OK, sorry. _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

i can't get to sleep.

it's 10 pm and i'm in the hospital wing...all alone...with nothing to do. i guess there's not much to do when you're re-growing all the bones in one arm...stupid lockhart.

anyways, i think they've almost all grown back. i can almost move my arm. if lockhart hadn't removed all my bones, i'd be strangling him right now. then again, if he hadn't removed all my bones, i wouldn't have a reason to strangle him...

the 2 funniest slytherins haven't posted a new blog, none of my friends are on--probably all asleep--and it is really hard to type this with 1 hand. darn it...i can't do an exclamation point...

i hate lockhart right now.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Sorry we didn't come visit you last night...Madame Pomfrey wouldn't let us. Did you hear what happened to Colin Creevey?_

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------_

_Yeah! Scary...Poor guy..._

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------_

_That's all you have to say about it? Poor guy? For all intents and purposes, Malfoy killed him! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------_

_He's not dead...Professor Sprout is going to make some kind of mandrake drought once they're ready..._

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------_

_I've got something to tell you guys once Madame Pomfrey lets me out of here..._

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Journal of a Young Gryffindor**

**_Ginevra Weasley_**

I can't believe it.

Colin has been Petrified.

He sat next to me in Charms...and he was pretty nice! A little chatty, but he's nice! And now...I visited him in the hospital wing...He looks dead. Everyone says he's not, but still...

I'm so scared...

* * *

**Comments: **

_It's OK, Ginny. Colin will be back to normal as soon as Professor Sprout can make that mandrake stuff..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------_

_Aw, don't be scared, Ginny. Everything'll work out. _

_Percival Weasley_

* * *

**Memoirs of the Pranksters**

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

Percy got mad at us.

What for, you ask? What prank was so awesome Percy deemed it worthy of threatening to write Mom and tell her about it?

Well, it wasn't a prank, and if you ask us, we didn't deserve to be yelled at. We were just trying to be good big brothers and cheer up our little sister. We didn't know it would give her nightmares! Honestly, most people think it's _funny _when we cover ourselves in fur and jump out from behind a statue!

Ginny, if you're reading this, we're sorry. We know we already apologized in person, but we're doing it again. We didn't know you were that scared of whatever got Colin, and if there's anything we can do to cheer you up, tell us. OK?

* * *

**Comments: **

_Thank you for apologizing. For once, you did the right thing. _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------_

_It's OK...just don't do it anymore..._

_Ginevra Weasley_

* * *

**Subject: Dueling Club**

We will be starting a Dueling Club here at Hogwarts for all students interested in the fine art of self-defense through magical dueling. All students who are interested should come to the Great Hall tonight at eight o'clock PM.

**Posted by: Gilderoy Lockhart **

* * *

**PrettyPansy: **u goin 2 the dueling club 2nite, draco?

**ProudPureblood: **YAAAHHH!!!!! Must EVERYONE use bad grammar on here?!

**PrettyPansy: **its called chatspeak, draco. it makes it easier 2 type.

**ProudPureblood: **Well, it's annoying.

**ProudPureblood: **Is it REALLY that hard to type a few extra letters?

**PrettyPansy: **nevermind that. u goin or not?

**ProudPureblood: **Yeah, I'm going. Are you?

**PrettyPansy: **i plan on it. crabbe + goyle goin?

**ImCrabbe: **i will. u goin, greg?

**ImGoyle: **yah.

**PrettyPansy: **kool. c u all there.

**ProudPureblood: **Wait. Is Lockhart going to be teaching it?

**IHeartMyKitty: **dunno. he mite b.

**PrettyPansy: **i hope not.

**IHeartMyKitty: **he's kinda cute...

**ProudPureblood: **But he's annoying! And he's turned DADA into Glideroy Lockhart 101! All we ever learn about is him and all the stuff he's done!!

**PrettyPansy**: give it a rest, draco. dada is easy now.

**ProudPureblood**: It's just stupid now...

**IHeartMyKitty**: o, come on. dueling club should b more fun.

**PrettyPansy**: yah. c u there, millicent.

**IHeartMyKitty**: u gettin off?

**PrettyPansy: **yah. got homework + mcgonagall won't let me get away w/not doing it.

**IHeartMyKitty: **so stupid.

**PrettyPansy: **yah. c u later!

**ProudPureblood: **See you later, Pansy.

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I hate bad grammar and spelling.

I don't know why. It just bugs me.

The trouble is, everyone else in Slytherin seems to _love _using "chatspeak," as they call it. (Or, as Crabbe and Goyle spell it, "chatspeek." Gr.)

Don't get me wrong, I like Slytherin. It's the only House worth being in. But the people in it can't spell! And I find that incredibly annoying!

I hate the Backstreet Boys, too! Millicent and Pansy _loooove_ them, but they SUCK!!! With their stupid sugar-sweet melodies and shallow lyrics...Ugh.

This is not my day.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

**

* * *

**

Thoughts From...Me

**_Harry Potter_**

It sounded like a good idea at the time. Y'know, go to the Dueling Club, learn how to fight someone...I thought it might come in handy someday. I mean, it would've REALLY come in handy last year. (Not that I'm planning on fighting Vol...YKW again anytime soon, and I did OK the first time without knowing how to duel, but still. It sounded like fun. Dueling, I mean, not fighting YKW.)

Malfoy was my partner...gr. He's such a jerk. _I _wouldn't hit him when he's down, but HE'S not above that! I almost had him, too, but Snape stepped in...

It probably would've ended OK if Malfoy hadn't zapped that snake out of thin air. It started going toward Justin Finch-Fletchley, and I (stupid person I am) yelled "Leave him alone!"

The snake obeyed. It understood me, just like the boa constrictor at the zoo had. I thought Justin would be happy (or at the least, relieved), but not angry.

I found out later from Ron that I was speaking Parseltongue and it's actually pretty rare (I'd thought lots of people here could talk to snakes. Y'know, just another thing wizards can do.) But I guess I was wrong...Now Justin and all the Hufflepuffs are mad at me, some of the Gryffindors are scared, and I feel incredibly stupid.

I should've just let Snape handle it...

Now all the Hufflepuffs hate me and think I'm the heir of Slytherin, and while I don't know what that is, I'm guessing it's not good. (The heir--whoever that is--opened the Chamber of Secrets.)

* * *

**Comments: **

_We'll sort this out, Harry. Don't worry. _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------_

_Just don't speak Parseltongue around anyone else!_

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------_

_I've only been able to speak it when I've seen a real snake..._

_Harry Potter_

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Oh no...

Justin's been Petrified.

Crap...

I didn't do it! Honest!

* * *

**Comments: **

_I believe you, Harry. You'd never do anything like that! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------_

_I believe you, too. And so does Dumbledore. _

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------_

_You'd NEVER hurt anyone, Harry! Anyone who says otherwise is stupid! _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_----------------------------_

_Thanks, Ginny. Glad you're on my side..._

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Journal of a Young Gryffindor**

**_Ginevra Weasley_**

I know there's a monster stalking the school.

I know two people I know are currently in the hospital wing.

I know I should be too scared to notice this.

But Harry Potter thanked me.

Actually, he said 'Glad you're on my side.' What could that mean? Just that he's glad I'm on his side through all this, or that he's glad _I'm _on his side? Am I just another person "on his side," or is he glad that it's _me _on his side? Hmm...wonder what Tom will think of this?

Holy crap...better delete this post!

* * *

**Subject: Look out! **

Watch out, everyone! The Heir of Slytherin is about to post! He might hex you through the Internet!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Be nice!**

Knock it off, guys! Harry's got enough stuff going on without you guys teasing him!

**Posted by: Ginevra Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Come on, sis! **

He knows we're not serious...and we're probably the only people in this school who are kidding when we warn everyone about him.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**IShowNoWisdom: **You got everything ready? 

**Prankster4Life: **Yep. The Caterwauling Charm took some time to modify, but it should be ready.

**IShowNoWisdom: **And it'll only sound when he enters a room?

**Prankster4Life: **Yep.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Sweet. When will we set it up?

**Prankster4Life: **During dinner. None of the teachers will notice.

**IShowNoWisdom: **And we've got a story in case something goes wrong?

**Prankster4Life: **Yeppers.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Sweet. This is gonna be so cool!

**Prankster4Life: **Oh yeah...**

* * *

**

**Subject: Caterwauling Charm**

Would whoever put up that modified Caterwauling Charm take it down, please? It's driving me crazy!

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Subject: Awww...**

Come on, Professor! Everyone else thinks it's hilarious!

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: It figures**

I should have known it was you two. Now take the charm down, or it's twenty-five points from Gryffindor.

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Subject: I like it...**

Seriously...hearing the intro to "The Immigrant Song" every time I enter a room is better than the scared whispers I usually hear...

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

* * *

**Subject: Publicity**

Ah, acquired a taste for publicity, have we, young Potter? I must say, having music play every time you enter a room is quite fun--not to mention creative! I wouldn't have thought of that! Though if I were you, I'd request a different song. Those Muggle songs are so dumb.

**Posted by: Gilderoy Lockhart**

* * *

**Subject: I didn't do it! **

Honest! The Weasley twins put up that charm, not me! I didn't ask them to!

**Posted by: Harry Potter

* * *

**


	19. Chapter 19

**

* * *

**

Memoirs of the Pranksters 

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

They made us take down the Caterwauling Charm. They said it was "annoying to the teachers" and that "Potter has enough to worry about right now without having his arrival announced whenever he enters a classroom." (Take a wild guess who said that. We'll give you a hint: It starts with "Mc" and ends with "Gonagall.")

We managed to keep it up for an entire day, which is longer than we'd thought it would last.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I didn't mind for a while. The only trouble came when I walked into Potions. _

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------_

_Oh yeah...that was bad. Wonder if Snape will ever let you forget it..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------_

_I hope so..._

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------------_

_Of course it was bad! You think Harry WANTS everyone to know he's coming?!_

_Ginevra Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_Yeesh, Ginny! You make it sound like he's really the one attacking people! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It**

**_Percival Weasley_**

I'm worried about Ginny.

This has nothing to do with the fact that 1) she has Professor Snape for a teacher, 2) I'm her big brother and that's what big brothers do, or 3) the recent attacks on students.

Actually, come to think of it, my worrying about her actually has something to do with the last one. But it's mostly the way she's been acting lately. She's been pale (she's usually really healthy), quiet (Ginny and quiet only go together if the word "isn't" is between them), and tired. Whenever I ask her if she's OK, she'll nod and run off somewhere--the nearest bathroom, her dorm, the library, whatever room is closest.

I've thought about writing home and telling Mom (she never reads the blog unless I write home and tell her she should), but I don't want to worry her. Besides, she and Dad are in Egypt. (I thought about going along, but thought I should stay here to 1) keep an eye on Ginny, 2) keep an eye on Ron, 3) keep an eye on Fred and George, 4) support the teachers, 5) make sure Ginny's OK. The only reason I mentioned Ginny twice is because I'm twice as worried about her as I am about everyone else.)

I hope Ginny is OK...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah, Ginny HAS been acting weird. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_We tried to cheer her up, but you know how THAT turned out..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Yes, I remember. It made everything worse! _

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Not EVERYthing..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_It only upset Ginny more!_

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Are you STILL mad at us over that? That was months ago!_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_Yes, I AM still mad at you! And it was less than two months ago, don't fool yourselves. _

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_I'm fine, Percy, really. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I think you're lying, Ginny..._

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_I'm NOT lying! I'm fine! _

_Ginevra Weasley_

* * *

**Journal of a Young Gryffindor**

**_Ginevra Weasley_**

I'm fine.

Really, I am.

Percy doesn't think so, but I'm OK.

Honest, Percy. I'm fine.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I still think you're lying. _

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_Honest, I'm OK..._

_Ginevra Weasley_

* * *

_Sorry it's so short, but I should have another one up soon._


	20. Chapter 20

**

* * *

CharmingRavenclaw:** Minerva? Do you know where Hermione Granger is? 

**ProudGryffindor: **She's been in the hospital wing.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Really? Why? What happened?

**ProudGryffindor: **She's asked that nobody be able to see her. Probably got a little too ambitious and tested an advanced spell that went wrong.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **I can't say I'm surprised.

**ProudGryffindor: **Her friends, Harry and Ron, have been bringing her her homework so she doesn't fall behind.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Good for them!

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Any updates on the Heir of Slytherin yet?

**ProudGryffindor: **No, but I can assure you it is NOT Harry Potter.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I didn't say I thought it was. I can't picture him doing something like that...then again, I don't really know him that well...

**ProudGryffindor**: Pomona, I suggest you stop listening to your students and the rumors they're tossing around and look at the facts. I know Harry--as his Head of House, I should--and I know he would never harm another student, Muggle-born or otherwise.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Stop accusing me, Minerva! I was asking if any of you had heard anything because Ernie Macmillan still thinks it's Potter who made all the attacks and I wanted confirmation that it wasn't him!

**ProudGryffindor: **All right, I'm sorry. I supposed I've just been a little...on edge...lately.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I'd tend to agree.

**ProudGryffindor: **Oh, agreeing with me AGAIN, are we, Severus?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Only about the fact that you've been on edge. Of course, I would add that you've also been more high-strung and snippy than usual...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Umm...I don't think now's the time for insults...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Hmph.

**ProudGryffindor: **Oooh, nice comeback, Severus!

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Didn't anyone hear what Pomona said?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **No. Based soley on the fact that we're not really SAYING anything, I can honestly say that I didn't hear what Pomona said.

**ProudGryffindor: **Oooh...nice loophole!

**CharmingRavenclaw: **All right, then did anyone READ what Pomona TYPED?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Change of topic...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **At least no one else has been attacked lately...

**CharmingRavenclaw: **This is true.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes, it is.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Although I am certainly NOT the Heir of Slytherin, if I were, I would have attacked Lockhart first.

**ProudGryffindor**: I almost hate to admit it, but I would have, too...

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Me too!

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I think all of us would have...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Hmmm...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **What are you "Hmmm"-ing about?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Creative ways to torment Lockhart.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I have some plants that might do the job...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I was thinking something in the potions family...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **If only, if only...

**

* * *

**

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

Hogwarts has a long and sordid history of animosity between the Houses. Usually the hate is directed at Slytherin, and my House returns the favor, which I suppose turns everything into one big hate-fest. Which everyone hates.

But now, we (the other Heads of House and I) have finally found something we agree on: We all hate Lockhart.

There's the hate again. But this time it is anything but superfluous and misguided (as so many have called the House animosity). Lockhart truly deserves it. Even Pomona agrees, and Minerva as well. I believe this may be the first time Minerva has taken my side on an issue.

We all agree: Lockhart needs to go, and we need to figure out what caused that momentary burst of insanity that caused Dumbledore to hire the git.

* * *

**Comments: **

_You blocked Lockhart from your blog, right?_

_Pomona Sprout_

_----------------------------------_

_Of course I did. I'm not stupid like he is. _

_Severus Snape_

_-----------------------------------_

_I have no idea what caused Dumbledore to hire the moron...he's usually quite brilliant. Dumbledore, I mean. Lockhart is anything but brilliant._

_Minerva McGonagall_

_

* * *

_

**Magical Me**

**_Gilderoy Lockhart_**

The rest of the teachers have blocked me from their blogs. That hurts, everyone.

However, I have an idea that I believe will be quite popular with the students and the teachers alike.

I want to tell you what it is in person, but rest assured it will raise the morale of everyone in this school.

* * *

**Comments:**

_Did you get permission from Dumbledore first?_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_--------------------------------------_

_He gave me explicit permission to "do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't interfere with classes or put students in danger." _

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

* * *

**I'll Teach You to be Charming**

**_Filius Flitwick_**

This is bad.

This is really bad.

It's so bad, I'm hoping Severus and the Weasley twins will team up to get rid of Lockhart as painfully as possible.

I never thought something could be that bad (except for maybe YKW coming here and teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, which would be bad in a totally different way and for obvious reasons), but this is awful.

Lockhart's "brilliant idea" to raise morale involved the following:

1) Dwarves dressed up like little Cupids, wearing golden wings and carrying harps

2) LOTS of pink flowers, so much that I thought a giant had eaten the color pink itself and vomited it all over the Great Hall

3) The revelation that the dwarves-turned-Cupids will roam the school, singing Valentines

4) Public humiliation of Severus and myself

Like I said before, this is bad.

Why, oh why won't Dumbledore just fire the git?

* * *

**Comments: **

_I don't know, but we need to find out. _

_Pomona Sprout_

_-----------------------------------_

_I keep reminding myself that it'll only last for one day...it'll all be over in a few hours..._

_Minerva McGonagall _

_----------------------------------_

_These hours seem interminable..._

_Severus Snape_

_-------------------------------------_

_Six hours, fourteen minutes to go...six hours, thirteen minutes to go..._

_Pomona Sprout_

_---------------------------------------_

_WHEN WILL THIS TORMENT END?!_

_Severus Snape_

_----------------------------------------_

_It won't. We'll be doomed, surrounded by singing dwarves until we die or are driven mad..._

_Filius Flitwick_

_---------------------------------------_

_You make it sound like Azkaban. _

_Pomona Sprout_

_--------------------------------------_

_Actually, Azkaban is starting to sound positively cheerful compared to Hogwarts when it's overrun by all these stupid "Cupids..." _

_Filius Flitwick_

_----------------------------------------_

_Azkaban...now THERE'S an idea I hadn't thought of..._

_Severus Snape_

_--------------------------------------------_

_You can't send someone to Azkaban for desecrating the Great Hall and humiliating you. _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_-----------------------------------------_

_Unfortunately. _

_Severus Snape_

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

**

* * *

Subject: New Classes**

Second years, it has come time for you to choose your classes for next year! Remember, you will remain in these classes until you reach O.W.L. level (provided you recieve a passing grade in each class). You may drop a class at any time, but you may not drop one of your core classes (Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration and Charms).

Think about your choices carefully.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall ****

* * *

**

**I Wish I Wasn't Such a Klutz**

**_Neville Longbottom _**

My relatives are too helpful sometimes.

It's come time for us to choose classes for next year, and EVERYONE in my family sent me letters telling me what classes to take. Aunt Jill says I should take Arithmancy, Uncle George says I should take Ancient Runes, Gran says I should not under any circumstances take Divination, but Grandfather says I should take Divination and work the rest of my schedule around that class. Three of my uncles want me to take Care of Magical Creatures, but Gran says I should take something else...

Help!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Well, what are you good at? _

_Percival Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Umm...knocking things over, tripping over my own two feet..._

_Neville Longbottom_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Never mind..._

_Percival Weasley_

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I don't think I've ever hated my parents before, but I do right now.

Why, you ask? (Actually, you _don't _ask because you're a computer and if you asked me something, I'd be a little scared. Computers are one thing that shouldn't talk.) Two words: Muggle Studies.

Yes, I want to take Muggle Studies. Even though it's a soft option and I'd rather not waste my time hearing how brilliant Muggles are, I heard that Professor Burbage is going to integrate Muggle music into the course. Since it's become so popular at Hogwarts, I guess she wants us to study it more closely so we can learn even more about Muggles. That's what the announcement thingy said, anyways...

I REALLY want to take Muggle Studies now. Any class that requires study of Muggle music for credit is my kind of class.

But I know what Mom and Dad would say to that. "Why are you wasting your time studying _those _people, Draco?" "Could there _be_ a better way to waste your time?" "Find another way to salvage your grades, Draco, not through the easiest class at Hogwarts."

Well, I'm wasting my time studying those people because it's FUN, and no, there _couldn't_ be a better way to waste my time. By the way, my grades are quite good right now, thank you very much.

Of course, I can't say all that. Except for the part about my grades.

If only there were a way to take Muggle Studies and not let Mom and Dad know about it...

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

we kneed advize.

wat clasis shood we tak?

mugle studeez iz stoopid.

dunno bout divinayshun. it sownds kinda fun.

arithmansy sownds hard.

so duz aynshent roons.

hmmmm...

we kneed ppl 2 coment on our blog, 2!

* * *

**Comments: **

_I'm taking Ancient Runes...you might want to take something easier, though. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_------------------------------------_

_y r u taking aynshent roons? it sownds hard. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_------------------------------------------_

_Can you at least TRY to spell things correctly? _

_Draco Malfoy_

_-------------------------------------------_

_y? speling rite is 4 losers. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_-------------------------------------------_

_No it's not!_

_Draco Malfoy _

* * *

**The Ramblings of a New Student**

**_Hermione Granger_**

I already signed up for everything, but now I'm having second thoughts about Ancient Runes. Why? Two words: Draco Malfoy.

Yes, he's going to be in Ancient Runes. I read the comments on Crabbe and Goyle's newest blog post, and Draco said he's going to be taking Ancient Runes.

Maybe he was kidding.

I sure hope he was. Ancient Runes sounds interesting.

* * *

**Comments: **

_How are you going to take all those classes, Hermione?_

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_I'll find a way. _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------------_

_Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up? Awesome! _

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Subject: QUIDDITCH! **

Hey, everyone! We've got a match against Hufflepuff coming up, and we're going to be practicing every day! Just to let you know...

**Posted by: Oliver Wood **

* * *


	22. Chapter 22

**

* * *

**

**Thoughts From...Me**

_**Harry Potter**_

Oh no.

That's what I said when I first saw her in the hospital wing. Petrified.

I tried telling myself it's not Hermione...that she was still in the library and would be coming back any minute. That worked for about thirty seconds.

I don't even know what it was that did it...

* * *

**Comments: **

_No comments have been posted. _

* * *

**ErnieTheBadger: **Harry? You there? 

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah...who is this?

**ErnieTheBadger: **It's Ernie Macmillan.

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh. Hi.

**ErnieTheBadger: **I just wanted to apologize...I mean, now I know you weren't lying...you're not the Heir...

**BoyWhoLived: **Thanks.

**ErnieTheBadger: **Yeah...I know I already apologized in Herbology...

**BoyWhoLived: **It's OK. Thanks again.

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It**

**_Percival Weasley_**

Penelope.

Not Penelope.

If it had just been Hermione, it would have been bad enough, but not Penelope, too...

Whoever is doing this...we need to find out who it is...and soon.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I'd say we'd catch them, but I'm not too sure anymore..._

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Subject: Walking Through the Hallways **

As I said before, _no student _is to be out in the hallways unaccompanied by a teacher. This is for your own safety.

**Posted by: Professor McGonagall **

* * *

**BoyWhoLived: **It feels so weird...not having Hermione here... 

**ISpellPieRight: **Yeah.

**BoyWhoLived: **I wish Pomfrey would let us see her...

**IShowNoWisdom: **No such luck. We've thought everything through, but there's no way Pomfrey will let us in the hospital wing.

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah, I've been trying to come up with a way in, but nothing so far...

**IShowNoWisdom: **Percy's pretty upset, too...

**ISpellPieRight: **Over Penelope?

**Prankster4Life: **Yeah. I hope he's OK...usually he's not like this.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Usually he's so...perfect.

**ISpellPieRight: **Yeah...

**BloodTraitor: **It's not just Penelope.

**BoyWhoLived: **Who is it, then?

**BloodTraitor: **Ginny.

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah...I've noticed she's been acting weird lately...

**Prankster4Life: **No weirder than usual, though!

**BloodTraitor: **This isn't funny!

**Prankster4Life: **OK, OK, sorry.

**BloodTraitor: **She won't talk to me, either...I ask her what's wrong and she just runs away...

* * *

_Aarrrgh! Sorry it's so short, but the little plot bunny won't inspire me to write any more than that. I'll update as soon as I can. _


	23. Chapter 23

**

* * *

**

**Journal of a Young Gryffindor**

**_Ginevra Weasley_**

I don't know how private this blog really is (I set it to "private" and stuff, only family and friends can see it), but I'm not going to delete this post. Percy has to see it.

I tried to get rid of the diary. Tom's diary. I tried to flush it down a toilet, but Harry found it. And somehow, I got it back. I don't remember how or why (I wanted to get rid of it), but somehow it's back in my dorm. And I've been writing in it again.

Tom is very understanding. He listens to everything I say, understands why I'm upset, but there's something about him that scares me a little. Actually, there's something about him that scares me a _lot. _I don't know what it is.

What scares me the most is something I told Tom, but it still scares me: I think_ I'm_ the one attacking everyone. After the first attack...there were those words written on the wall (in paint) and I didn't know where I was and I had paint all down my front. I had no idea what happened before Hagrid's roosters got killed, and when it was all over, I had feathers all over me. I keep forgetting where I am--there's whole hours I don't remember--and when it's all over something terrible has happened...I don't want to think I'm the one attacking everyone, but I think that might be the truth...I'm scared...Percy, read this!

* * *

**BloodTraitor: **Ginny? You there?

**ILoveKitties: **Percy!

**BloodTraitor: **You OK?

**ILoveKitties: **Umm...tell you the truth...I'm fine.

**BloodTraitor: **You sure? You told me to go look at your blog, but there wasn't anything new there...

**ILoveKitties: **Oh, that? Must've been a glitch or something...

**BloodTraitor: **What was it you said?

**ILoveKitties: **I said that it must've been a glitch or something.

**BloodTraitor:** No, on your BLOG. What it was you told me to read.

**ILove Kitties: **Oh, it was nothing. I overreated to something, that's all.

**BloodTraitor: **Could you just tell me? I know you've been scared of the attacks lately...

**ILoveKitties: **That was all I posted. I was scared of the attacks and that's what I posted, that's all.

**BloodTraitor: **Ginny...

**ILoveKitties: **I'm FINE, Percy!

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It**

**_Percival Weasley_**

Forget all this crap about how "I think I'm worried about Ginny because something might be wrong with her." I _know _I'm worried about her because I _know _something is wrong with her.

Ginny, tell me what's wrong or I'm writing home to Mom!

* * *

**Comments: **

_I was just scared about the attacks, Percy!_

_Ginevra Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_I still think you're lying. _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_Mom won't believe you if you write home...she KNOWS I'm OK..._

_Ginevra Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Ginny...if there's something wrong, just tell me! And you KNOW Mom would believe me if I told her anything was wrong with you! _

_Percival Weasely_

_------------------------------------_

_It was just the attacks, that's ALL! _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_OK, OK, it was the attacks! I won't write home and tell Mom! Happy? _

_Percival Weasley_

* * *


	24. Chapter 24

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It**

**_Percival Weasley_**

It's over.

The whole crisis, I mean.

Ginny is OK. She almost died, though.

I know you probably want to hear the whole story, but I haven't heard all of it. To the best of my understanding, here's what happened:

Malfoy's father slipped a book into Ginny's cauldron while we were in Flourish and Blotts. This book turned out to be some sort of magical diary--the diary of Tom Riddle, to be more precise. Ginny started writing in it, pouring out her soul to Riddle, and (the way Harry said Riddle put it) "a soul was just what he needed." He started (no, I'm not making this up) possessing her, making _Ginny _attack all those people. (Actually, it was a basilisk, but she was the one controlling it--directly, anyway. Riddle was the one indirectly controlling the basilisk.)

As if I couldn't be any more disgusted, it turns out Tom Riddle is really YKW--or was, anyway. So YKW had been possessing my _sister _all this time. But she's OK now. Dumbledore didn't punish her; she's in the hospital wing.

I'm glad she's OK, though.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I'm fine now. Thanks. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_Why didn't you tell me what was going on? Or Mom or Dad? We wouldn't have gotten mad. _

_Percival Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_I tried to...but the blog post got deleted. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_You mean...? _

_Percival Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_Yeah. I think so. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_I'm just glad you're OK now..._

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Remember what I said, Ginny. Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain! _

_Arthur Weasley_

_-------------------------------_

_lol. I'll remember that. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_I'm glad you're OK too, Ginny. _

_Harry Potter_

_-----------------------------------_

_:D Thanks. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

Ginny's OK.

I can't believe it, though...I saw Voldemort AGAIN and had to fight him AGAIN.

He's still just as evil as he was last year.

Hopefully, he's gone for good this time.

I think he is.

But I thought that last year, too...

By the way, Dobby is free. Wonder if he can read and write...

* * *

**Comments: **

_I don't think he can...house-elves usually can't. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Someone should teach them, then..._

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Lockhart has finally been fired.

Not because he's stupid, but because his memory has been completely wiped away. (He tried to use a Memory Charm on me and Harry, but it backfired.)

I always thought he couldn't get any stupider...but apparently I was wrong.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I guess getting your memory completely erased so you forget who you are CAN make you stupider than Lockhart was before he accidentally did that..._

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------_

_Wonder who our DADA teacher will be next year..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_Hopefully someone nice...someone who doesn't have YKW on the back of their head and who isn't a moron..._

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------------_

_LOL! _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------_

_LOL? What's that mean?_

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_Laughing Out Loud. _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------_

_Oh. Cool! _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**Subject: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!**

WE WON THE HOUSE CUP AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT JOB, HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Posted by: Oliver Wood**

* * *

**Subject: Not Again! **

Another year has drawn to a close, and this year was just as exciting as the last! Hopefully, next year will be more_...laid-back._ Again, this blog will be offline during the summer. The reason remains the same: All teachers would be either too busy to watch it, or too tempted to deduct points over the summer.

I hope you all have a fun, safe summer!

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

* * *


	25. Chapter 25

_The third book is probably my favorite. Of course, you'll probably be able to tell that by the number of chapters I spend on this book...just giving you a heads-up. I'll probably spend quite a bit of time writing blog posts for _Prisoner of Azkaban, _second only to the amount of time I spend on the seventh book_. _(And that's just because the blog for _Deathly Hallows _will be pretty AU.) Just warning you..._

* * *

**Subject: Welcome Back!**

Ahhh...another school year has begun! Welcome back, everyone!

I repeat here what I said at the Feast for all of you who weren't listening: _Do not cross the dementors. _Don't leave school without permission. Don't give the dementors _any _reason to harm you.

I wish you all a happy new (school) year.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: It Will Be**

It WILL be a good year, now that we have a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who actually knows how to cure a dementor attack! I'm far more impressed with Professor Lupin than I was with "Professor" Lockhart.

**Posted by: Poppy Pomfrey**

* * *

**Subject: He Seems Nice**

Yeah...who knew chocolate was the cure for dementor attacks? Good thing Lupin was there...he seems really cool!

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

* * *

**Subject: Dementors...**

Should _not _be here at Hogwarts! It may be necessary, but it's far too dangerous! Dementors are unpredictable and deadly and having them around _children _is anything but a good idea.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

* * *

**Subject: It Can't Be Helped**

It really can't be helped, Minerva. Hopefully they'll catch Sirius Black before the dementors have a chance to...er..._get acquainted with_ our students.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: They already have! **

At least with Potter...he _fainted_! Are dementors big and scary, Potter?

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**Subject: Oh, shut up! **

You were shaking and white as a sheet, Malfoy! You've got no right to taunt Harry about being scared of them!

**Posted by: Hermione Granger**

* * *

**Subject: Verbal Abuse**

It may be perfectly normal in the corridors where we teachers can't help it, but on this blog verbal abuse is _not _tolerated! This blog is meant to be a fun place on the Internet where students can relax and chat, _not _where they're constantly at risk of bullying! Keep your caustic comments to yourself or write them in your personal blog, Malfoy.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Why can't I just say the truth?

Potter _did _faint and he _was _scared of the dementors! And now I'm getting in trouble for saying so?

Stupid.

I'm not taking Muggle Studies this year. Mom and Dad would throw a fit if I did. But I overheard some students talking about it (and checked out a few personal blogs that weren't set to private (still working on hacking 'em, but nobody's published _Hacking Wizards' Blogs for Dummies _yet (not that I'm a dummy, though Granger would most likely tell you otherwise))) and they said that yes, they are indeed studying Muggle music. They're starting out simple--Relient K and a few other bands for third years--and then getting more advanced as they go on. Sixth years are analyzing "Stairway to Heaven" and writing essays on how it shows the similarities between Muggles and wizards. (Stupid, I know, but I listened to "Stairway to Heaven" a few days ago when I first heard about their assignment. It's a very cool song and I'd almost enjoy writing an essay on it.)

If only I could take Muggle Studies...

On another note, Ancient Runes is tough but interesting. One problem: that know-it-all Granger is in it. She sneered at me on the way in, so what else could I do? I sneered back. Self-defense, really.

* * *

**Ramblings of a New Student**

**_Hermione Granger_**

I guess I really should change the name of my blog. I'm hardly new here.

Anyway, Malfoy is _definitely _in Ancient Runes. Too bad. It looks like other than him, Ancient Runes will be one of my favorite classes. Divination will not. I'm entertaining the notion that Professor Trelawney is a fraud; we've hardly learned anything useful.

Oh, and Hagrid is teaching Care of Magical Creatures. Too bad Malfoy had to ruin that, too. Well, it's his own bloody fault Buckbeak attacked him! He _insulted _him!

If Malfoy wins, I'll be so mad...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Why does Malfoy have to be rich on top of everything else? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Why is Malfoy taking Ancient Runes? It doesn't seem like his kind of class..._

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------------------_

_Nothing is Malfoy's kind of class unless it involves bullying and insults and it's taught by Snape. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_So why is he at Hogwarts again? _

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------------------_

_To torment us..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_

* * *

_


	26. Chapter 26

**

* * *

**

Ramblings of a New Student 

**_Hermione Granger_**

I hate Divination.

Professor Trelawney's greatest joy in life seems to be scaring people out of their wits with her so-called "death omens." So far, she's frightened Lavender Brown by telling her that "the thing she's dreading will happen on the sixteenth of October." She made Neville break a teacup by telling him he was going to break it before he did. All she ever does is state the obvious! Everyone _knows _Harry has a deadly enemy: YKW! And the Grim...it's just a dog! For crying out loud! I'll bet she can't tell the difference between a dog and a hippo! (It looked more like a hippo, if you ask me--I saw it from behind--and _Unfogging the Future _doesn't say anything about hippos.)

Maybe it'll get better later on, but so far I'm seriously considering dropping the class.

On a happier note, I love Arithmancy. It's far more sensible and practical than Divination, and Professor Vector doesn't feel the need to frighten her students for fun and profit.

* * *

**Comments: **

_All the perfume in Professor Trelawney's classroom makes me feel sleepy..._

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------------_

_Me too..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_You're not going to die, Harry. _

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------_

_Not according to Professor Trelawney..._

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------------------_

_Just watch. She'll tell you you're going to die soon, and NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. _

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------------_

_Let's hope you're right..._

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**I Wish I Wasn't Such a Klutz**

**_Neville Longbottom_**

Defense Against the Dark Arts is interesting again! Interesting and hilarious!

Today, Professor Lupin took us to the wardrobe in the staff room so we could take on a boggart. (Boggarts are these things that always take the form of whatever they think will scare you the most. But you probably already knew that...)

Anyways, what I fear most is Professor Snape. (He's very intimidating, especially when he gets right in your face and sneers, telling you you did it all wrong.) So Professor Lupin told me to think of what my grandmother wears (vulture hat and everything), shout _Riddikulus _at the boggart, and Professor Snape would be dressed like Gran.

And guess what?

It worked!

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard...

* * *

**Comments: **

_That was AWESOME! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_Funniest thing I think I've ever seen!_

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------------------_

_Wish we could've seen it..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Me too! It was AMAZING!!!! _

_Harry Potter_

_

* * *

_

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Remus.

**BarkAtTheMoon: **Severus.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Care to explain the Gryffindors' DADA lesson yesterday?

**BarkAtTheMoon: **They took on a boggart, that's all. Got rid of it pretty quick, too.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I'm talking about their METHOD of extermination here.

**BarkAtTheMoon: **Just the basic method--Riddikulus. Nothing special, nothing dangerous.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **You're even more dense than I thought...I'm TALKING about your public humiliation of me!

**BarkAtTheMoon: **Oh, that. It was just the effect of a Riddikulus spell, Severus, nothing more.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **THE BOGGART WAS ME AND I WAS WEARING HIS GRANDMOTHER'S CLOTHES!!!!

**BarkAtTheMoon: **Calm down.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!!!!

**BarkAtTheMoon: **STOP SHOUTING AT ME AND TAKE IT IN STRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Take WHAT in stride?! It's all over the school!

**BarkAtTheMoon: **I thought you'd be pleased that someone's greatest fear is YOU.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **...

**BarkAtTheMoon: **If it were me someone saw, I'd laugh it off and I suggest you do the same.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Need I remind you that it's MY potion alleviating your...condition?

**BarkAtTheMoon: **What's that got to do with what we're talking about?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **...

**BarkAtTheMoon: **Look, I'm sorry it travelled so fast. But it's really not my fault.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **It's YOUR fault he knew what to do! YOUR fault he made me look like a fool!

**BarkAtTheMoon: **I was telling him how to get rid of a boggart! He told me what his greatest fear was and I told him how to fight it! If his greatest fear had been...say...Dumbledore, I would've told him something similar.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **What if his greatest fear had been YOU?

**BarkAtTheMoon: **I would've told him the same thing, but we're pushing the realm of plausibility here. See, I don't think he would've TOLD me he feared me the most...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **We're getting off topic again.

**BarkAtTheMoon: **(sigh) We're getting nowhere.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Refrain from insults in the future.

**BarkAtTheMoon: **For the last time, it wasn't an insult! Not an intentional one, anyways!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **(sign off)

**BarkAtTheMoon: **(sigh)

**BarkAtTheMoon: **(sign off)

* * *


	27. Chapter 27

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Divination is getting annoying.

Maybe it's just because I'm not good at it--I mean, how the heck is a bunch of lopsided tea leaves supposed to tell me _anything_?--but I'm starting to dread that class. Or maybe it's just because Professor Trelawney scares me, the way she looks like she's going to cry whenever she looks at me.

Is she right, though? Am I going to die soon? I mean, she's supposed to be able to see the future, and she _did _predict Neville breaking the teacup...but still.

I hope she's wrong.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Of COURSE she's wrong! She's just saying you'll die soon because you've already fought YKW twice! _

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------_

_I hope she's wrong...it'd really suck if you died..._

_Ginevra Weasley_

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Hagrid needs to get his confidence back.

It's Malfoy's fault Care of Magical Creatures is boring, but it's Hagrid's fault he lost his confidence.

Now, Care of Magical Creatures is BORING. All we're doing is taking care of flobberworms, which have to be the most boring creatures in existence.

Ugh...

* * *

**Comments: **

_No kidding! Stupid Malfoy..._

_Harry Potter _

_-------------------------------------------_

_Since when is he NOT stupid? _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------------_

_I never said he became smart (ish) at one point, but this incident has raised him to a new level of stupidity. _

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------------------_

_Speaking of stupidity, Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_ROFL!! I just saw it! Three years at Hogwarts and they still haven't learned to spell! _

_Percival Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

its owr therd yeer at hogwarts.

woot.

we fownd owt that woot is an akronim. (draco told us akronims r wurds that stand 4 sumthing els)

butt we 4got wut it meens.

o well.

owr blog is in the top 20 of blogs that r veewed alot.

thats pritty kewl.

yah.

we wantid 2 tak aynshint roons w/draco, butt snap sayd no. sumthing uhbowt us beeing a lyuhbillitee.

wuts a lyuhbillitee?

hmmmm...

oh wel.

* * *

**Comments: **

_No comments have been posted. _

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It**

**_Percival Weasley_**

I used to hate Crabbe and Goyle, hate them with a passion that burns with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. (I've been reading poetry over the summer, and it kind of wore off on me.) But now I've come to see them as an asset to our education, even if they don't know it.

How?

They're a wonderful confidence-booster. All you have to do is read their blog, and you feel a million times smarter! They can't spell ninety percent of the words they use, and the rest are words like "a" "and" and "the."

Tell you the truth, I was worried that they'd bully Ginny too much. But now I see that they're actually _helping _her grades!

Who would've thought?

* * *

**Comments: **

_I agree totally. Whenver I feel stupid, I read their blog! Then I feel much smarter. _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Ah, yes. The bane of Slytherin and the joy of Gryffindor. Gotta love 'em! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_I love their blog..._

_Harry Potter _

* * *


	28. Chapter 28

**

* * *

**

Ramblings of a New Student 

**_Hermione Granger_**

I _really _need to change the name of my blog.

Anyway, guess what's coming up? The first Hogsmeade weekend!

I'm so excited...I can't wait to see Hogsmeade! It's the only entirely wizarding settlement in Britain, and there's so many interesting things there! Like the Shreiking Shack, the most severely haunted site around, Honeyduke's, which is supposed to have the best candy EVER, Zonko's (the Weasley twins love Zonko's, 'nuff said)...

I can't wait!

* * *

**Comments: **

_You HAVE to see Zonko's and Honeyduke's. They are AWESOME!_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_--------------------------------------------_

_I wish I could go..._

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Once they catch Black, you might be able to...and they're bound to catch him soon..._

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

It's so unfair.

I'll be the ONLY third year left behind while everyone else is out having fun in Hogsmeade.

I hate living with the Dursleys...

* * *

**Comments:**

_What do the Dursleys have to do with this?_

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_Uncle Vernon didn't sign my permission form._

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------------------_

_Ah. That stinks..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_I don't think you'd be able to go, anyway, with Black on the loose..._

_Hermione Granger_

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Well, I missed the first Hogsmeade visit. Ron and Hermione told me all about it.

It sounds really cool.

I guess it wasn't that bad, staying here, though. Professor Lupin and I talked a bit...he showed me a grindylow he's going to use for his next DADA lesson...and Ron and Hermione brought me back a bunch of sweets from Honeyduke's.

Still wish I could've gone...

* * *

**Comments: **

_You would've loved it. It's AMAZING._

_Ronald Weasley _

_-------------------------------------_

_Gee, THAT'S really helpful, Ron. _

_Harry Potter_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I'm sure you'll be able to go on the next visit. _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------------_

_You're not missing a whole lot, Harry. It doesn't take long for the novelty to wear off, honestly. _

_Percival Weasley_

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It**

**_Percival Weasley_**

I thought they'd all forgotten the password. I should've known that wasn't likely; after all, the Fat Lady never picks difficult passwords. Still, I hadn't ruled it out as a possibility. But, as things usually go, reality turned out to be worse than fiction.

The Fat Lady was destroyed.

I guess I shouldn't say "destroyed"; she can still be repaired, I hear. But she was slashed pretty badly.

I can't believe Black actually managed to get into Hogwarts! I thought the dementors were supposed to keep him OUT! How'd he get past them?!

Somebody needs to get this under control before more than a painting gets hurt!

* * *

**Comments:**

_I can't believe he'd do that..._

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------_

_I can't believe he was HERE! _

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------------------_

_You all need to get off your laptops and GET TO SLEEP! _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_We were just checking your blog..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_I don't CARE that you're all spending the night in the Great Hall; you need to get to sleep!_

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Yes SIR!!! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_

* * *

Sorry the update took so long...the plot bunny got distracted by something shiny again..._


	29. Chapter 29

**

* * *

**

**I Wish I Wasn't Such a Klutz**

**_Neville Longbottom_**

I don't like Sir Cadogen. He changes the password every five minutes, so even if I memorize one, he'll already have changed it by the time I memorize it! Argh!

I want the Fat Lady back.

* * *

**Comments:**

_He's crazy. That's it. He's crazy. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------------_

_So why is he guarding our room again? _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------------_

_None of the other paintings were crazy/ brave enough to do it. _

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Ummm...have you tried asking him for the week's passwords? You could just write them down and read them off once you get to the common room. It might help..._

_Percival Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Oh! I never thought of that! I'll do it...soon..._

_Neville Longbottom_

_

* * *

_

**Ramblings of a New Student**

**_Hermione Granger_**

Sir Cadogen is _insane. _

I have no trouble remembering passwords. I can remember passwords easily enough. It's the fact that he makes us memorize fifty different passwords each week that irks me. And his passwords are so hard! Porr Neville--he's already been locked out in the corridor twice in the past few days because he hadn't known the password changed.

I can't wait until Filch restores the Fat Lady...

* * *

**Comments: **

_I can't wait, either! He's CRAZY!_

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_It's really annoying the way he changes the password every time you turn around..._

_Harry Potter

* * *

_

**Subject: Dementors**

Let me assure you that I am as outraged at this as all of you are. I knew the dementors had been angry for some time at my refusing to allow them anywhere but the entrances, but I had no idea they'd do something like _this. _I have spoken to Fudge, and although there is no other way to keep our students safe, I am no happier about having dementors here at Hogwarts. This will _not _happen again, let me assure you.

In the meantime, let me take this opportunity to remind everyone to _stay away from the dementors. _You saw what happened to the Gryffindor Seeker; something just as bad could easily happen to any of you. Just leave them alone, and they will leave you alone.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: But...**

But Potter was the only one who _fainted! _

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**Subject: RE: But...**

Draco Malfoy, this is your final warning! Keep the blog free from personal insults!

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall**

* * *

**Subject: Arguments**

Draco, you may want to rethink your arguments. Reread your last post; it could easily be inferred that you want to be allowed more access to the dementors. Assuming that's _not _what you want, rethink your arguments next time.

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

_My plot bunny keeps running away...I'll have to send a couple dementors after it..._


	30. Chapter 30

**

* * *

**

Thoughts From...Me 

**_Harry Potter_**

The weirdest thing happened today.

It was after my broom was destroyed (I'm REALLY starting to hate those dementors. Is it possible to be scared of something and hate them at the same time? Oh well...at least Malfoy knows I'm not too scared of them to hate them...) A package showed up for me during the mail call this morning. It was a Firebolt--that AMAZING broom I've wanted ever since I saw it. And just in time, too! I mean, there are more Quidditch matches, and I'll NEED a new broom!

But it was so stupid...McGonagall said she wanted to check it for jixes first! I know why she want to do that--I guess I'd do the same thing--but I mean...how could Black even afford a Firebolt? Isn't he supposed to have escaped from Azkaban? And I don't know a lot about Azkaban, but I know that when you escape from prison (Muggle or otherwise) you usually don't have huge amounts of money to burn.

This is so dumb...

* * *

**Comments: **

_They're just trying to keep you safe, Harry._

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------------------------_

_I think Harry's logic is spot-on! And he's got a right to be mad--I'm mad, too! _

_Ronald Weasley

* * *

_

**Subject: Knock it off!**

Would Fred and George Weasley kindly take down the Caterwauling Charm they've set up around the dungeons? I'm sick of hearing that horrible racket every time I leave my classroom!

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Subject: Racket? **

For your information, it's not a "horrible racket" you're hearing. That would be the Backstreet Boys. What you're hearing, Professor, is the song "Bat Outta Hell" by Meatloaf.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: Bat Outta WHERE?!**

Take it down or it's fifty points from Gryffindor!

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

Might I take this moment to shout a question to the heavens...

WHY ME????

Why must the Weasley twins torment ME?! Why am I the one who hears "Bat Outta Hell" every time I exit the dungeons?!

Why did Muggle music have to come to Hogwarts in the first place?

* * *

**Comments: **

_All right, I'll admit that the song they chose was a little harsh. But still, it was just a harmless joke! Let them have their fun. _

_Pomona Sprout_

_--------------------------------------_

_A HARMLESS JOKE?! How would YOU like hearing that song every time you take a step?_

_Severus Snape_

_----------------------------------------_

_If I were you I'd just laugh it off. Just the other day they played that song...I don't know what it's called..._

_Filius Flitwick_

_------------------------------------------_

_The "Short People Song"? That was HILARIOUS! _

_Remus Lupin _

_--------------------------------------------_

_Wasn't it? Anyway, every time I left my classroom or entered another, people heard "Short people got...no reason...short people got...no reason...short people got...no reason to li-ive..." And you don't see ME whining on the blog about it! _

_Filius Flitwick _

_-------------------------------------------------_

_Genius, really...a little rude, but genius..._

_Pomona Sprout_

_--------------------------------------------------_

_I hope they put it up again...I need a good laugh..._

_Filius Flitwick _

* * *

_Thanks, Fred the Man for the song suggestions! The Weasley twins thank you, too..._


	31. Chapter 31

**

* * *

**

Memoirs of the Pranksters 

**_Fred and George Weasley_**

Harry's Firebolt passed McGonagall's jinx tests/inspection type thing!

YEAH!!!

WE'LL BEAT SLYTHERIN THIS YEAR!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Maybe. If we can get enough points between now and then...man I wish I hadn't fainted when we faced Hufflepuff! _

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------------------------------_

_It's not your fault, Harry. It was the dementors. _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------------------_

_Tell that to Malfoy. _

_Harry Potter_

_-------------------------------------------------_

_Oh, I will. I'll be sure to tell him a lot of other things, too..._

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------------------_

_Like how his friends are MORONS? _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------------_

_Yes. Among other things. _

_Hermione Granger _

_-------------------------------------------------_

_Oooh...do Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------------_

_No...hope they get one up soon, though. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

**

* * *

**

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Professor Lupin has been teaching me the Patronus Charm.

It's really hard, but he told me it's really advanced magic, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.

It's just so hard to focus on happy thoughts when you're facing a dementor!

* * *

**Comments: **

_The Patronus Charm? Are you serious? That is VERY advanced magic! _

_And yeah, I'd imagine it'd be hard to focus on much of ANYTHING when faced with a dementor..._

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------------------------------_

_He didn't bring a dementor into the SCHOOL, did he? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------------------------_

_No, of course he didn't. We've been using a boggart. It changes into a dementor when it sees me and that's how he's been teaching me to cast a Patronus. _

_Harry Potter_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------_

_Oh. That's good...hope you learn how to cast one...that'd be cool..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------_

_Just keep practicing, Harry. You'll get it eventually. _

_Remus Lupin _

_--------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Thanks, Professor. _

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Happy thoughts, eh? Just think about Crabbe and Goyle's blog! THAT'LL keep you laughing! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_When are they going to put a new blog up?! _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Hopefully soon...I need a good laugh..._

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Uhhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

CROOKSHANKS ATE SCABBERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't CARE what you say about how smart that stupid cat is, Hermione! HE ATE MY RAT!!!! EITHER HE ATE HIM OR HE KILLED HIM, I DON'T KNOW OR CARE WHICH!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

**Comments**

_Crookshanks did NOT eat Scabbers! I just know it! He wouldn't do that! _

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------------------_

_Yes he would! That miniature tiger hasn't liked Scabbers since the day you bought him! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------------_

_He's NOT a miniature tiger! And he DIDN'T eat your rat! _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------------------------_

_Guys! Just...calm down, okay? _

_Harry Potter_

_--------------------------------------------------_

_I'll calm down once Hermione apologizes! Better yet, I'll calm down once she makes her CAT apologize! Since he's so SMART, he should be able to at least say he's sorry! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------------------------_

_Crookshanks can't talk and you know it! _

_Hermione Granger_

_

* * *

_


	32. Chapter 32

**

* * *

**

I Wish I Wasn't Such a Klutz 

**_Neville Longbottom_**

I'm so stupid.

I should be in the same category as Crabbe and Goyle, that's how stupid I am.

What did I do?

I followed Percy's suggestion and wrote down this week's passwords from Sir Cadogen. Then I lost the paper, dropped it somewhere in the corridors. Sirius Black found it.

He was _here_! AGAIN! And I'M the one who let him into Gryffindor Tower! He almost attacked Ron!

I'm such a moron...I deserved that Howler Gran sent...

Crabbe and Goyle are smarter than me...

* * *

**Comments: **

_All we're going to say is that you are NOT stupider than Crabbe and Goyle. There is nobody on this planet that is dumber than them, except for maybe a cup of dirt. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Journal of a Muggle-Born**

**_Hermione Granger_**

Sirius Black was HERE. Again.

It's a miracle nobody was hurt...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Except for Scabbers. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_For the last time, Crookshanks did NOT eat Scabbers! And what does that have to do with Sirius Black? _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------------_

_Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up! If you're reading this, Neville, go check it out! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Wait...didn't they spend the first part of their post talking about how dumb Neville is? _

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------------_

_Yeah, but reading it is PROOF that Neville isn't as stupid as he thinks he is right now! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

seereeus blak wuz heer.

wow.

amayzing.

cant beeleev it.

it wuz that moron longbotom that lett him in.

figyurs.

alwayz new hed do sumthing stoopid 1 day.

wundr how he got passt the dimenturs?

weerd.

itd bee kool 2 no how he did it.

we want 2 get past dimenturs w/o beeing notissed.

ya.

in uther news, are blog is #5 on the list of bloggs that r veewd alot.

thats amayzing.

butt u no wuts weerd?

no1 coments.

evur.

that mayks us sad.

ya.

nobudee.

not even draco.

not nise, ppl!

coment! plz!

* * *

**Comments: **

_You asked me to comment, so that's what I'm doing. Learn some grammar. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_-------------------------------------------_

_y? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Just commenting on your blog...pretty sweet, guys..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------------_

_Great blog! I read it whenever you've got a new post up! _

_Cho Chang_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Your blog always brightens my day..._

_Hannah Abbot_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

wow.

ppl lik owr blog!

we thot it wuz jusst slithurin, butt even grifindoor + rayvenklaw reed it!

wayt...iznt abbot frum huffullpuff?

she is! kool!

wow...all 4 howzes reed are blog!

sweet!

this iz so kool!

btw, it jusst jumpd 2 #3!

in ur fayss, draco!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yep. You guys are right. If butchering the English language works for you, go right ahead. Keep it up, gentlemen. _

_Draco Malfoy_

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I'm glad Crabbe and Goyle didn't stop writing their blog.

For a minute there, I thought my telling them to spell things right would stop them, but apparently unflinching support from all four Houses has convinced them to keep it up. For that I am grateful. Their blog provides me with a good laugh, something I need every now and then. (I'm guessing the rest of those people who read Crabbe and Goyle's blog read it for the same reason I do.)

On another note, I LOVE Muggle music. Led Zeppelin has to be one of the best bands that ever graced a stage with their presence, and "Stairway to Heaven" is one the greatest rock songs in history. I have also recently become a fan of Simple Plan and--for some reason--Within Temptation. Don't ask me why. I guess it's something about Sharon den Adel's voice that just...wow. It's incredible.

Yeah. Muggle music is awesome. Funny, but I like it better than wizard music.

* * *


	33. Chapter 33

**

* * *

**

**BoyWhoLived: **Hello?

**BoyWhoLived: **Anybody on?

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **I am...

**BoyWhoLived: **Uhh...who is this?

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **It's me! Hermione!

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh! Hermione! Sorry...

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **That's OK. I finally changed my screen name...since I'm not really a "Newbie" anymore...

**BoyWhoLived: **Sweet. Cool name.

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Thanks.

**BoyWhoLived: **np. You couldn't sleep either?

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **No...I mean, I know we're safe...I mean, that's what McGonagall says...

**BoyWhoLived: **I know what you mean.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Four days later and you STILL can't sleep?

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Nope.

**BoyWhoLived: **Why are you so surprised?

**BoyWhoLived: **I mean, I'm the one Black's after...

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Then why'd he attack Ron?

**IShowNoWisdom: **Maybe he didn't know where Harry was...

**BoyWhoLived: **Maybe...

**KlutzyWonder: **At least the Fat Lady's back.

**BoyWhoLived: **Neville? What're you doing on? I'm right next to you...

**KlutzyWonder: **Yeah, but since everyone else is online I decided I might as well join the party.

**BoyWhoLived**: Fine by me.

**KlutzyWonder: **You're not still mad, are you?

**BoyWhoLived**: Mad?

**KlutzyWonder: **About me letting Black in.

**BoyWhoLived: **No. I'm not mad.

**KlutzyWonder**: Thanks.

**BoyWhoLived: **np.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Hmm...

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **What?

**KlutzyWonder: **Cool screen name, Hermione!

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Thanks.

**IShowNoWisdom**: If this is a party, we need party-ish stuff...like snacks...

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Wait...how do you get snacks online? I mean, share them and stuff?

**IShowNoWisdom: **I dunno...

**IShowNoWisdom: **I'll figure it out someday...

**KlutzyWonder: **Do it soon! That sounds fun!

* * *

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

Today I set the record straight where the memory of James Potter is concerned.

For some reason, he thought James' intentions in saving my life were nothing but noble. I told him plainly that it was a deadly prank and James merely got cold feet at the last minute.

Naturally, Mr. Potter was stunned. He had been so convinced that his father was the most noble creature ever to walk this earth that he couldn't bear the truth: that he was the most pompous, arrogant git I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

And Harry is just like him.

* * *

**Comments: **

_You don't honestly believe that, do you? _

_Filius Flitwick_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Why shouldn't I? It's the truth and I make it a habit to believe the truth. _

_Severus Snape_

_-------------------------------------------_

_What if I told you the TRUTH is that Harry is more like his mother than his father? _

_Filius Flitwick_

_---------------------------------------------_

_I'd say you were lying. _

_Severus Snape_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Severus...when will you open your eyes and see Harry the way he is?_

_Filius Flitwick_

_--------------------------------------------_

_My eyes ARE open, Filius. _

_Severus Snape_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

I honestly didn't know how the whole scene played out. I didn't know that it was a prank and Dad just "got cold feet." (At least that's what Snape says...and I guess he's not lying.)

But Snape...I don't know why he hates me so much! Yeah, he and Dad weren't friends, but he HATES me. A lot.

And on top of all that, Hagrid lost his case.

How could things get any worse?

* * *

**Comments: **

_Everyone's got teachers who hate them, Harry...Snape hates me, too..._

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------------_

_Not as much as he hates me. You know I'm right. _

_Harry Potter_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I guess so...just don't let it get to you. _

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------------------_

_What about Buckbeak? This is so unfair!_

_Harry Potter_

_---------------------------------------------_

_I know it is...this sucks...Malfoy is so...UGH! _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------------_

_I agree. Grrrr..._

_Harry Potter_

_

* * *

_

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Dad told me the result of the case: We won.

I don't feel as happy as I should. I mean, shouldn't I be...elated or something? It's not even like I feel...accomplished. Just...weird. Like I should have done something differently, like I should say something that I didn't. I can't put my finger on it, and I can't shake it, either.

It's probably nothing.

* * *


	34. Chapter 34

**

* * *

**

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Granger punched me.

A filthy Mudblood _punched _me.

All I did was comment about how pathetic Hagrid was--I mean, he's our _teacher _and he was crying like some giant hairy baby--and she punched me in the face!

What I said was _not _too harsh, no matter what anybody says about it!

* * *

**Uhhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Hermione punched Malfoy.

All I can say is...you go, girl!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Thanks. He completely deserved it. _

_Hermione Granger _

_-----------------------------------_

_You can say that again. _

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------_

_I'm just glad somebody finally punched him! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_You...you got to him first? _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_You can always punch him again..._

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------_

_We think we will. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_Where does the line start? _

_Neville Longbottom_

_--------------------------------_

_Line?_

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------_

_To punch Malfoy! _

_Neville Longbottom

* * *

_

**Uhhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

I disturbed the clairvoyant vibrations today.

It was quite satisfying.

* * *

**Comments: **

_ROFL!!!! What'd you do? _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_He ran around them with his shirt off. _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_ROFLMAO!!!!!!! _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_LOL!!!!! _

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------------_

_Actually, I was looking into the crystal ball in Trelawney's class, and she asked what it meant, so I said it meant we were going to have loads of fog tonight. Parvati and Lavender said I was "disturbing the clairvoyant vibrations." _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_BRILLIANT!!!! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born**

**_Hermione Granger_**

I quit Divination. It was getting ridiculous and my schedule is full enough anyway.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Speaking of your schedule...isn't it a little full already? _

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------_

_Nobody can cope with all that coursework, Hermione. _

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_And how do you take all those classes at once? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------_

_I just do. And now that Divination is out of the way, my schedule is a lot better. _

_Hermione Granger_

* * *


	35. Chapter 35

_After the last chapter, I've gotten quite a few requests to punch Malfoy. My answer to all these requests is yes. The line forms behind Neville Longbottom, but be warned. It's pretty long. _

* * *

**Subject: Quidditch! **

Don't forget that the Quidditch final is coming up! PRACTICE!

**Posted by: Oliver Wood**

* * *

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Harry never has any time during Quidditich practice... 

**ISpellPieRight: **Well, he's got to practice! We're going to beat Slytherin this year!

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **And you know this...how?

**ISpellPieRight: **We'd better.

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **I hope we do...

**ISpellPieRight: **If we don't, Oliver Wood will probably cry.

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Why?

**ISpellPieRight: **It's his last year at Hogwarts and he REALLY wants to win the House Cup.

**MyDaddyIsAMuggle: **Oh. Heard it from Harry?

**ISpellPieRight: **Yeah. **

* * *

**

**PrettyPansy: **hay millicent.

**IHeartMyKitty: **hay pansy. draco bak frum quidditch yet?

**PrettyPansy: **nope.

**IHeartMyKitty: **o.

**PrettyPansy: **sad days.

**IHeartMyKitty:** ya. hope we win, tho.

**PrettyPansy: **ya. gryffindor better not win this year.

**IHeartMyKitty: **thatd be stupid.

**PrettyPansy: **ya.

**IHeartMyKitty: **sides, if draco were on hed just tell us 2 use good grammar.

**PrettyPansy: **ya. dont see wat his problem is.

**IHeartMyKitty: **me neither. were online. grammar is moot.

**PrettyPansy: **moot? thats a fun word...

**IHeartMyKitty: **isn't it?

**PrettyPansy: **ya. y doesn't he lik the bakstreet boys, neways?

**IHeartMyKitty: **he thinks theyre stupid.

**PrettyPansy: **that's stupid. bakstreet boys r kool.

**IHeartMyKitty: **ya. and hott.

**PrettyPansy: **uberly.

* * *

**Subject: WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

YEAH!!!! WAY TO GO POTTER!!!!!! WE WON MY LAST YEAR AT HOGWARTS!!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL EVER THANK YOU!!!!!!!

**Posted by: Oliver Wood **

* * *

**Subject: You're welcome...**

Yeah. What the title says.

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Posted by: Harry Potter**

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I don't feel like studying for my finals.

So I'm posting on my blog.

Yeah. I'm bored.

I'm also listening to Muggle music through this amazing Muggle invention called "headphones." They make it so you're the only one who hears the music. Perfect if your parents happen to hate Muggle music and you don't want anyone in your House telling them you actually love it. (Wait...did I just call a Muggle invention amazing? What's wrong with me?)

All right, this is going to be one of the moments where I'm glad my parents can't see this blog, but what I'm going to say is absolutely true: Muggles are actually pretty brilliant where music is concerned. (Britney Spears, the Backstreet Boys, NSync and all those other stupid pop "artists" don't count because...well, they're stupid.) But seriously, Muggle music is incredible. I used to think wizard music was the best, but now...I'll listen to a Muggle song, and then a wizard song, and the wizard song will sound completely soulless. Like it's been Kissed. (ALL of Britney Spears' songs sound like they've been Kissed, as do Celestina Warbeck's. Hear that, Mom? I just put Celestina in the same category as Britney Spears!) Even if the two songs are about the same topic, hands down, the Muggle song will be so much better and the musicians will be so much more talented that...ugh! I just can't describe it! It's so awesome!

Basically, I love Muggle music.

I guess I'd better start studying...which means I'll have to get off the blog...but I don't have to stop listening to my music! (I think it's lucky. Last year, when exams started, I listened to Muggle music while I was studying and I did better than I did the year before.)

* * *


	36. Chapter 36

**

* * *

**

**ISpellPieRight: **Hey Harry. Weird exam in DADA, wasn't it?

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah. Kinda fun, though.

**ISpellPieRight: **Yeah.

**BoyWhoLived: **I can't believe what Hermione's boggart was!

**ISpellPieRight: **I know! You'd think she'd be afraid of more than that...

**IShowNoWisdom: **Speaking of the DADA exam, did you hear what happened to Malfoy?

**BoyWhoLived: **No! What?

**Prankster4Life: **He did OK up until the boggart is what we heard, but then he came out shaking.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Crying, too.

**BoyWhoLived: **Wow.

**ISpellPieRight: **What did he see?

**IShowNoWisdom: **Nobody's sure. He didn't tell anyone.

**BoyWhoLived: **Wonder what he saw...

**ISpellPieRight: **Maybe he saw you as Head Boy.

**BoyWhoLived: **LOL! Or Hermione as Head Girl!

**Prankster4Life: **Maybe he saw Professor McGonagall as his stepmother or something...

**IShowNoWisdom: **Or Filch in his underwear.

**BoyWhoLived: **AGH!!!

**Prankster4Life: **You've got to admit that's scary.

**BoyWhoLived: **If you need me I'll be rinsing my eyes...must...get...image...out...of...head...

**ISpellPieRight: **Good thoughts in, bad thoughts out...good thougts in, bad thoughts out...

**

* * *

**

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

_**Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle**_

evuree1 herd wat happend 2 draco w/the bogert.

he wont tel ne1 tho.

at al.

not eeven us.

we didnt run wen we saw it.

we didnt eevun git scarrd.

draco ur a wimp.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Just shut up. _

_Draco Malfoy _

_------------------------------------_

_Harsh. I'm not even going to say he deserved that. _

_Hannah Abbot_

_-------------------------------------_

_Really harsh. _

_Cho Chang_

**

* * *

**

**Defender Against the Dark Arts **

**_Remus Lupin_**

In case you're wondering, Draco Malfoy is fine. Just a bit shaken.

What happened is this: For the final, I set up an obstacle course for the third years. They had to wade across a pool with a grindylow, dodge a series of potholes full of Red Caps, then go through a marsh while ignoring the Hinkypunk. The last obstacle was a boggart in an old trunk, which they had to fight.

Some students did better than others, I'll tell you that much. And just for the record, more students lost points when they got to the boggart than they did anywhere else. (In other words, Malfoy wasn't alone in what happened. It happened to several others; they just got over it faster.)

He did fine up until the boggart. After he got into the trunk, it was a minute before anything happened.

"Mr. Malfoy?" I called. No answer. "Are you okay?"

He jumped out of the trunk, white as a sheet and shaking uncontrollably. I chased after him as he ran into the castle, grabbed his hand and spun him around. I saw he'd been crying.

"Let go of me!"

"Not until you tell me what happened."

"No!"

I tried, but I couldn't get him to tell me what he'd seen. I think he's okay now.

* * *

**Comments: **

_He wouldn't tell me, either. Did you ask Dumbledore about that exam before you gave it? _

_Severus Snape_

_---------------------------------------_

_Yes, he did. He had my full approval. All third years should've been able to navigate the obstacle course with few exceptions; it is not Lupin's fault that Malfoy saw something that scared him so badly. _

_Albus Dumbledore_

_--------------------------------------_

_I had no idea, either. _

_Remus Lupin_

_------------------------------------_

_He should be fine soon. _

_Albus Dumbledore_

_----------------------------------_

_Draco's father will be hearing about this. _

_Severus Snape_

_----------------------------------------_

_No! Don't tell Dad! I'm fine, honest! _

_Draco Malfoy_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Are you sure? Because if Lupin is using dangerous tactics with his students, he should be investegated. _

_Severus Snape_

_---------------------------------------_

_Look, it's my own stupid fault I got scared! There's nothing to worry about because I'm fine now! _

_Draco Malfoy__

* * *

_

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I can't believe myself.

Before you mock me for being scared of a stupid boggart, let me tell you what it was. (I'm telling you because you're a blog and nobody can see you but me.)

The boggart turned into my mom. Dead. Just that. Then I looked away, and it was Dad telling me it was my fault, and when I looked back again it was Mom, still dead.

I'd thought I could take it on...but I guess not. Now everyone's calling me a coward and a wimp and all I can do is tell them to shut up. Nothing more intellegent than that.

I hate boggarts.

I just hope Snape doesn't tell Dad...I really hope he doesn't...

* * *

_All right, that incident obviously wasn't in the books, but it seemed to fit in with Draco's portrayal in the later books (especially the sixth), and I figured that with the blog, word would spread pretty quickly. Especially since everyone reads Crabbe and Goyle's blog. So please don't sue me; I warned you beforehand that the blog would be pretty AU. _


	37. Chapter 37

**

* * *

**

Thoughts From...Me 

**_Harry Potter _**

Malfoy is looking tired lately.

Very tired.

And he hasn't made so much as a single snide remark to any of us in Gryffindor--unless, of course, you count "Shut up" as sarcastic brilliance.

It's kind of nice.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah, it kind of is! Maybe we should sneak into Slytherin and put a couple of boggarts in his trunk..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_We still say he saw Filch in his underwear..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_Wonder how long it'll last..._

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------------_

_Maybe it'll last into next year! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_I wish..._

_Harry Potter_

_

* * *

_

**Diary of a Potions Master**

**_Severus Snape_**

Another school year is drawing to a close. All I can say is...WHAT THE HELL TOOK IT SO LONG?!

Why all the hostility, you ask? Well, let me explain with a list of what made this school year seem interminable:

1. The Weasleys discovered even more Muggle music and used it to annoy me.

2. Dumbledore STILL hasn't banned Muggle music.

3. I didn't get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job.

And, to top it all off, Draco is still moderately traumatized from his experience with the boggart, but refuses to tell me--or anyone, according to Dumbledore--what he saw.

But, at last, the year is almost over. Three brief months of respite before another one begins.

Oh joy.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Don't you enjoy your job anymore, Severus? _

_Pomona Sprout_

_---------------------------------_

_To tell you the truth, I'd enjoy it far more if my job was teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. _

_Severus Snape _

_-----------------------------------_

_Here we go again...the annual "WHY NOT ME?!" speech..._

_Minerva McGonagall_

_----------------------------------_

_You didn't find their prank involving "Bat Outta Hell" funny? _

_Filius Flitwick_

_----------------------------------_

_No, as a matter of fact I didn't. And I find your remark even less amusing, Minerva. _

_Severus Snape_

_------------------------------------_

_Well, I don't find your annual speech/complaint/whining amusing, either. _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_------------------------------------_

_All right, you two, stop arguing...remember what you always say about keeping the blog free from personal insults, Minerva..._

_Pomona Sprout_

_-------------------------------------_

_That's only the PUBLIC blog. _

_Minerva McGonagall _

**

* * *

**

I'm Pretty Much Awesome 

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Snape hasn't told anyone. Not even Dad. _Especially _not Dad. (Not that I've told Snape what happened with the boggart (well, what it changed into, since everyone knows what _happened _with it) but he hasn't told anyone what happened.)

It's been a few days, and the school year is almost over. I've almost calmed down completely. It's been so humiliating these past few days, walking past Potter and Pals, knowing that they're whispering behind my back--I even heard Weasley giggle. At least Granger is a teacher's pet in Ancient Runes. If she hadn't been so intent on finishing her exam (and scoring above 100 percent), I wouldn't have put it past her to taunt me about the boggart incident.

Two nights ago I woke up screaming. Nothing too loud; just a little shreik, I guess. It was enough to wake up Theodore. Damn it, he's always been a light sleeper.

"'Nother boggart, Draco?" he asked. It was dark, but I could tell from his voice he was smirking.

"Shut up." I pulled the covers over my head and went back to sleep--or I tried to. (I've heard Mom and Dad mention some kind of potion that lets you sleep without dreams--I think it's called Dreamless Sleep or something like that. (Creative, huh?) While the name is about as creative as the Backstreet Boys, I'd love some right about now. The Dreamless Sleep, not the Backstreet Boys.)

Oh, you want to know where I am and what I'm doing? I'm sitting in the boys' dorm, on my bed--it's currently 3:37 AM--and I'm wishing for some of that Dreamless Sleep stuff.

I hate boggarts.

* * *

_All right, for those of you who don't know who Theodore is, I meant Theodore Nott. He doesn't factor into the books much, but since he's in Slytherin and his dad is a Death Eater...well, it seemed natural that he be the one to tease Draco about the boggart incident. _


	38. Chapter 38

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

Sirius Black is innocent.

That's all I have to say.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Too bad nobody would believe us..._

_Hermione Granger_

_

* * *

_

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy _**

They got away. Buckbeak AND Sirius Black.

I'm not sure about Black, but I'm actually kind of...relieved about Buckbeak. I didn't want him to get executed, really. Don't ask me why.

On another note, Slytherin isn't going to forget the boggart incident very easily. Lupin told me it happened to several other students, but from what I hear most of them were in Hufflepuff. Misery loves company because if you have company, there are fewer people left to mock your misery, and in Slytherin I have no company. Either nobody else was scared of the boggart, or everyone else is hiding it too well. (I still can't forget what I saw. Even though the nightmares have pretty much stopped, the image that the boggart showed me keeps popping up in my mind at random moments. Yeah. It sucks.)

I'm sort of sorry to see Professor Lupin go. He's resigning on account of the fact he's a werewolf. He hid it well.

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born**

**_Hermione Granger_**

Professor Lupin is resigning.

I can't believe it. Do you want to know why? Here it is: He's a werewolf.

Nobody knew it up until now! He hid it so well it was just...well, none of us suspected. (Except for me, and that was only after that essay Snape assigned us.)

It's so unfair.

* * *

**Comments: **

_It's REALLY unfair! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_I really wish he didn't have to leave..._

_Harry Potter_

_-----------------------------------_

_So do I, Harry. And yes, Hermione, it IS unfair. But it's just the way things are. I'll keep in touch. _

_Remus Lupin _

* * *

**Blood Traitor and Proud of It **

**_Percival Weasley_**

I can't believe it.

I'm actually graduating.

It's so weird...I've looked forward to it for so long, and now that it's actually happening...wow.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Keep in touch or Mom will kill you! _

_Genevra Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_lol. I will. _

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------------------_

_There goes the last Bighead Boy in our family..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_It's HEAD Boy, not Bighead Boy! And what do you mean "the last"? _

_Percival Weasley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_Well, neither of US were planning on being Head Boy..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

profesur loopin is reesining.

cuz hes a warewulf.

ya.

wow.

glad he didnt git a chans to byt ne1.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I don't know that he would've..._

_Draco Malfoy_

_--------------------------------------------_

_I'll miss him! He's the best DADA teacher we've ever had!_

_Hannah Abbot _

_--------------------------------------------_

_It's so stupid...we liked him..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_

* * *

_

**Subject: Another Year**

Another year has come and gone--rather quickly, I might add. Again, this blog will be shut down during the summer so teachers can't deduct points over the holidays and because nobody would be able to monitor it.

I look forward to seeing all of you next year, but none of us will have to anticipate seeing the dementors. They will be returning to Azkaban, where they will--and should--remain.

I will see you all next year.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore

* * *

**


	39. Chapter 39

* * *

**Subject: Welcome Back! **

Welcome back to Hogwarts, everyone! Although we won't be surrounded by dementors this year, we _will _be hosting some special guests later on. I can assure you, _these_ guests will not suck away all the happiness. Treat them with respect, for they are our fellow witches and wizards.

I know this will be--at the least--a very interesting year. I hope it is enjoyable as well.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

No Quidditch this year.

This sucks.

But the Triwizard Tournament sounds fun. Even though I won't be able to compete, it'll sure be fun to watch.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Not to mention that we'll see the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang! I read about them in An Appraisal of Magical Education in Europe, and they sound so much different from Hogwarts! But it'll be so much fun to see what those schools are like! I can't wait! _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------_

_I can't believe they're cancelling Quidditch! Oh well...anybody know when we'll be able to submit our names? If it's after October, we're IN! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Forget the Triwizard Tournament. I won't be able to compete, anyway. I'm going to tell you what happened at the Quidditch World Cup.

It was a GREAT game, Ireland vs. Bulgaria. Ireland won, but Krum got the Snitch. Amazing, and worth every penny Dad paid for the tickets. But it was what happened after the game that was really memorable.

I knew what Dad was going to do--get dressed up in his old Death Eater robes and go torment some Muggles. Mom tried to keep it a secret from me, but she failed. Miserably. I mean, honestly! Dad acts funny. Mom acts worried. In the middle of the night, Dad disappears. Death Eaters appear. Muggles are tormented. Mom acts funnier. Did she _really_ think I wouldn't put the pieces together?

Anyway, I wasn't too enthusiastic about the whole thing. It was weird--I know Muggles are...well, I guess they're not stupid, since their music is GENIUS, but...you know what I mean. I almost wanted to yell at Dad to knock it off, but that would've blown everything (you know, the facade that I didn't know where Dad was) to pieces. So I didn't.

I guess I was hoping that it would all just blow over, and I wasn't really caring how it ended. Dad could get caught by the authorities and fined or something for all I cared, but once it finally ended, I knew there was one ending I _didn't_ want. As luck would have it, that was the ending we got. How did it end, you ask?

Some idiot set off the Dark Mark.

I've seen it before, as a faint tattoo on Mom's arm that she covered quickly. I'd never seen it like that, though--big and green and bright in the sky. I liked it better the other way. (And when I saw it the other way, I didn't really like it all that much.) When I saw it, I did what any sensible person would do--and what many other sensible people were doing.

I screamed and ran like hell.

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

th trywizurd turnuhmint is cumming up.

its gunnuh bee so kool!

we kant wayt!

2 bad we kant submit are naymz 2 th juj.

maybee we shood newayz.

ya.

wut do u gyz think?

* * *

**Comments: **

_I don't think it's a good idea. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_--------------------------------------------_

_wel...hoo askd u?! _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_------------------------------------------_

_You did. In your blog. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_------------------------------------------_

_w/e. u suck. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_

* * *

_


	40. Chapter 40

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born **

**_Hermione Granger_**

I can't believe it.

Hogwarts, the best school in Britain (if you happen to be a witch or wizard, that is) uses slave labor.

No, not _human_ slave labor, but house-elf slave labor. They're not paid for what they do (and they must work awfully hard, to keep this school running as smoothly as it does) and they don't even have a _choice _whether they obey or not! (Harry told me that when Dobby came to warn him two years ago, he kept punishing himself for disobeying orders. Isn't that just sick?)

Something needs to be done about this...

* * *

**Comments: **

_No comments have been posted. _

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

We have a new DADA teacher. (Might I be the first to say "DUH!" before anyone else can.)

Anyway, his name is Professor Moody, and he sure fits his name. His real name and his nickname--Mad-Eye. He's pretty moody. And kind of creepy, what with the way his magical eye swings back and forth and around and around...ugh.

But he is now officially cool. Why? He turned Malfoy into a ferret.

In case you're wondering, it was BEAUTIFUL. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret!

* * *

**Comments: **

_It was AWESOME! _

_Harry Potter _

_-----------------------------------_

_I wish I could have been there..._

_Percival Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_PERCY! You're back! _

_Ginevra Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_Just for a minute. I thought I'd check back on the blog and see what I'm missing--apparently, quite a lot! Hope you're all having fun._

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_Oh, it was beautiful..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_What was, the ferret? _

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Ew, no! Seeing Malfoy get turned into a ferret, that's what was beautiful! _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Note to self: DON'T PISS OFF PROFESSOR MOODY!!!!

In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have insulted Weasley's mom. It was probably bound to end badly, what with Potter and Pals standing right there, but it was just my bad luck that Professor Moody heard the whole thing. (Don't ask me how. All that matters is that he did.) It must've made him mad, because he turned me into a ferret.

Yes, you heard me right. A _ferret. _I guess it wouldn't have been so bad, once I got over the initial shock of being turned into a ferret, but then he had to bounce me off the floor a few times. (I get sick just thinking about it.)

I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Professor McGonagall! She me, changed me back, and reprimanded Moody.

That guy is WHACKED.

* * *

_Sorry that was so short, but my plot bunny has run away again. And yes, books4evah, I brought Percy back. :D _


	41. Chapter 41

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

_Dear Mommy, _

_Hello. How are you? I am good._ _We learned about Unforgivable Curses today. _

Yep. That's what we did today in DADA. Professor Moody taught us about Unforgivable Curses. I know he's an ex-Auror (and a little loopy), which is why he wanted us to learn about them as early as possible, but when he said "We're learning about Unforgivable Curses today," I kind of just expected him to talk about them. And that's what he did--while demonstrating the effects of each on spiders.

He said we were behind on curses, but I'd heard about all of them before. I'd just never seen them in action. And let me tell you, I'm glad Aunt Bellatrix is in Azkaban! (Most of what I've heard about her is secondhand, since Mom limits her stories about her to what she was like as a kid, and Dad has never really mentioned her. All I knew was that the Cruciatus Curse was her specialty.) I know it was on a spider, and spiders can't really scream in pain, but...wow. That curse is brutal.

(Is it just me, or is Moody purposely trying to scare me? He was looking right at me while using the Cruciatus Curse, and I could've sworn that look was saying "You're next." I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid because he turned me into a ferret.)

* * *

**I Wish I Wasn't Such A Klutz **

**_Neville Longbottom _**

Professor Moody scares me.

He used the Cruciatus Curse--right in front of us! He even made the spider bigger so we'd be sure to see it!

At least he apologized--sort of. We had tea in his office and talked for a little while.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah, I was starting to get nervous, too. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_I can't believe he did that! _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------_

_Well, everyone always said he was a little loopy..._

_Harry Potter _

_----------------------------------_

_But he did give me an interesting book on water plants...I guess Sprout told him I was good at Herbology. _

_Neville Longbottom _

_-------------------------------------_

_You OK now?_

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_Yeah. I'm fine. _

_Neville Longbottom

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

Ron and I finally found out how to pass Divination!

Here's what happened: We had to create horoscopes for the next month, and since Ron and I couldn't figure it out, we just made crap up! Tragic crap, of course. You know--losing fights, losing bets, dying slowly and painfully...

For a minute, I wondered if she'd realize we made it all up. But when we turned them in, she held them up as shining examples of how to do it right.

I think I cracked a few ribs from trying not to laugh.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Wasn't it awesome? Now I know how to pass! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Just more proof she's a fraud..._

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------------_

_I think we figured that out already...lol. _

_Harry Potter _

_--------------------------------------_

_By the way, are you two joining S.P.E.W. or not? _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_Hermione, they LIKE being enslaved! Don't ask me why, but they LIKE it! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_Dobby didn't! _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_That's because he was working for the MALFOYS! ANYONE would hate working for them! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_House-elves deserve better than what they have! _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------------_

_I'm NOT walking around with a badge saying "spew!" _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------------_

_It's the Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare! _

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------------_

_I don't CARE what it stands for, all anyone will ever see is the initials! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Hey, Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up!_

_Harry Potter _

_---------------------------------------------_

_Oooohhhh...really? I'll be right back! _

_Hermione Granger _

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born**

**_Hermione Granger _**

Harry and Ron are heartless.

Well, I suppose I shouldn't say that. They're heartless where house-elves are concerned. I started S.P.E.W., the Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare, but neither of them were interested. First Ron told me that house-elves like being enslaved (did he really think any sensible person would believe that?), then that he wouldn't walk around wearing one of the badges, and then Harry jumped in and tricked me by saying Crabbe and Goyle had a new blog entry so I couldn't finish what I was saying!

Frankly, I'm disgusted.

* * *

**Comments: **

_For the last time, I'm SORRY! It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that I wanted you two to stop fighting! _

_Harry Potter _

* * *


	42. Chapter 42

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

prufesur moodee is weerd.

and creepee.

its his i. it spinnz arownd stuf.

it looks ryt at u.

thru u, 2.

or at leest thru ur desk.

kan it c thru clothz?

thatd b weerd.

butt kinda kool 2 hav 1.

ya.

* * *

**Comments: **

_EW! It can see through CLOTHES? _

_Hannah Abbot _

_-----------------------------------------_

_I don't think anyone else is concerned about that...or WAS, until now...thanks a lot..._

_Draco Malfoy_

_------------------------------------------_

_thanks a lot, guys! now i'm gonna worry about THAT all day..._

_Pansy Parkinson_

_----------------------------------------_

_EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! _

_Cho Chang _

_-------------------------------------------_

_AAAHHHH!!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!! _

_Ginevra Weasley_

* * *

**Constantly Vigilant **

**_Alistor Moody _**

Thank you, Crabbe and Goyle, for causing the entire student body to puke and/or run for cover every time they see me.

I will say this once and I'll say it here: MY MAGICAL EYE DOES NOT SEE THROUGH CLOTHES!!!

More accurately, it does, but only if I want it to. And no, I do NOT want to see you all in your underwear! I'm vigilant, but not THAT vigilant!

Remember what happened to Mr. Malfoy, boys. I may not be allowed to use transfiguration as a punishment, but I can come up with far worse, believe me...

* * *

**Comments: **

_He is telling the truth. Believe him. _

_Albus Dumbledore _

_---------------------------------------------_

_Really? Thank God..._

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------------------_

_I didn't think you would..._

_Neville Longbottom_

* * *

**Journal of a Young Gryffindor **

**_Ginevra Weasley_**

I'm thinking about not reading Crabbe and Goyle's blog anymore. I mean, they really had me worried for a while! At least it wasn't true...

Oh, who am I kidding? Their blog is the funniest at Hogwarts!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah, I read their blog. I didn't think anyone would actually take them seriously, though. _

_Percival Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Have you SEEN his eye? It's creepy enough by itself, but along with that thought..._

_Ginevra Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_Yeah, I can imagine. _

_Percival Weasley_

_

* * *

Sorry for faking you out last chapter. But I put in a C and G blog here...:D_


	43. Chapter 43

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

we gott impeareeussd 2day.

ya.

it wuz so moodee cood sho us wat it felt lik.

so we cood fyt it.

it didnt feel much difrint then yusual.

beeing impareeussed, that is.

just a litl...hapeeer.

* * *

**Comments: ** _You LIKED it?! _

_Hannah Abbot _

_-----------------------------------------_

_it just didnt feel much difrint. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_-----------------------------------------_

_Why am I not surprised? _

_Percival Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_pursee? ur bak? y? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_--------------------------------------------_

_Just for a minute. I'm back to read your blog. I've always been a fan. _

_Percival Weasley _

_--------------------------------------------_

_o. kool! glad u lik it! _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_

* * *

_

**Uhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Unlike Crabbe and Goyle, I noticed a change when I got Imperioused.

First of all, it was like I wasn't thinking of anything. Just...nothing. Emptiness. Sort of...happy emptiness.

Then again, I guess that's what's running through their heads most of the time...

* * *

**Comments: **

_lol! I think you're right..._

_Harry Potter _

_-------------------------------------_

_They said so themselves...just read the comments on their blog. _

_Ronald Weasley _

_-------------------------------------_

_They have a new blog up? AWESOME! I'll be right back! _

_Hermione Granger _

_

* * *

_

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Well. Moody showed us the Imperious Curse today. True to form, he not only told us about it and its effects, but demonstrated them.

On us.

Yes, he Imperioused each of us in turn. It was kind of funny, really, seeing what he made everyone do. Theodore did a series of backflips off the desks, Pansy did a sort of ballet routine, and Crabbe and Goyle danced with each other, ballroom-style. They were holding hands and everything. It was hilarious. (You don't think Moody's still mad at them, do you? I sure don't.)

Then he got to me.

I was sort of surprised--he didn't have me do anything dangerous. And he didn't turn me into a ferret again. (But I think that's just because Dumbledore said he couldn't do either of those things.) But it was just as humiliating. What did he make me do? Let's just say it involved me, my lips, and Theodore.

Yep.

He made me kiss Theodore.

Wondering where I am again? I'm currently hiding in a bathroom (Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, which nobody ever really enters because of Myrtle. Oops, sorry, Myrtle, didn't know you were reading over my shoulder. It's just kind of hard to take a dump with a ghost hanging around. Yes, it'd be the same if you weren't a ghost! It'd be the same if you were anybody other than yourself! It'd be the same if you were Viktor Krum or Albus Dumbledore or...why am I typing it instead of saying it? Didn't you read the rest of what I'm typing right now? Everyone in Slytherin is laughing at me! I can't show my face in there! And if they hear me talking to you from behind the bathroom door, I'd never live it down! EVER! Especially since I'm hiding in a GIRLS' BATHROOM!!!! No, I'm not glad you died. No, I don't want you to die again just so I can have the pleasure of watching it. I'm sorry I implied that this bathroom is out-of-order because people don't like you. Honestly, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with personal space issues. For the last time, I do NOT hate you! Would I be hiding in your bathroom if I did?! WHAT?! WHY? This is blackmail...you know what it feels like when a ghost touches you, right? Yeah? How'd YOU like THAT feeling ON THE LIPS?! No! Don't tell Potter I'm in here! Okay, okay, I'll do it... Wow. That was...cold. I've never kissed a ghost before. Yeah, I kinda liked it. No, no, more than just "kinda." Okay, Myrtle, I've got to go. No, no, it has nothing to do with you...I just kissed you, didn't I? My break's almost over. That's why I'm leaving. Okay. See you later. Yeah, I mean it.)

At least Crabbe and Goyle didn't write about it on their blog...

Yet.

* * *

_Again, that incident obviously wasn't in the books since Rowling never showed us scenes from Slytherin. Like with the boggart incident, I thought I'd show what might have happened. _


	44. Chapter 44

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

we allmost 4got 2 tel u wat hapend w/draco.

he told us not 2 tel u.

butt its funnee.

wen he gott impaireeussed NOTHING HAPPENED!!! STOP READING THIS NOW!!!!! NOTHING FUNNY HAPPENED, THEY'RE LYING!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. we kan tel u now. theeodoor yoozd th ful bodee bynd curs on him so he kant stop us.

newayz, wen he gott impeareeussed, he kisd theeodoor.

it wuz awsum!!!

so funnee!!!!

lolz!!!!!

* * *

**Comments: **

_ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_Percival Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_lol that was so funny!!!!!!!! _

_Millicent Bullstrode_

_-------------------------------------_

_i wonder...does moody know something we don't? LOL!!!! _

_Pansy Parkinson_

_-----------------------------------_

_Ooooohhhhh...Draco and Theodore, sittin' in a tree..._

_Cho Chang_

_------------------------------------_

_butt thay wernt in a tree. thay wer in a clas. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

For one brief moment, I wished I was in Slytherin. Just for the DADA lesson a few days ago.

Why?

Malfoy kissed Nott! Oh, I wish I could've seen it...

* * *

**Comments: **

_I wish I could've seen it, too!! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Do you know how long it'll take the school to forget that?_

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------------_

_About a million years. LOL!!! _

_Ronald Weasley _

_------------------------------------------_

_And this, everyone, is why you should learn to fight the Imperious Curse! _

_Alistor Moody _

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Well, they did it.

Crabbe and Goyle, I mean.

They told the entire school what happened to me on their blog.

I tried to stop them. I tackled them, pushed them off their chairs as they were typing and tried to get my own message out, but stupid Theodore put me in the Full-Body Bind (I never realized how uncomfortable that is) so Crabbe and Goyle could finish typing. (In retrospect, I probably should have deleted their post instead of telling everyone not to read it, but fear kind of took over and made me do something stupid. Like the Imperious Curse.)

I will never be able to show my face in Slytherin again. I wonder if I can transfer...do they let you transfer, Myrtle? Resorting? They let you do that? Oh. Only under extreme circumstances? Well, wouldn't you say THIS is extreme? Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, in that case, can I just stay here in your bathroom for...oh, I don't know...the rest of my life, maybe? Oh, that wouldn't be too hard, I know where the kitchens are. I could just sneak out at night, grab some food, come back in here...they'd look for me? Damn.

Well, I know I'm staying in here 'till dinner.

* * *


	45. Chapter 45

* * *

**Subject: Beauxbatons and Durmstrang **

Students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will arrive tomorrow. Please be on your best behavior and present yourselves well. Show them the hospitality you would want them to show you.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall **

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born **

**_Hermione Granger _**

Students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are arriving today! I can't wait! I knew there were other magical schools in Europe, but I'd never been to them...I mean, I didn't even know I could use magic until Hogwarts sent me that acceptance letter. But anyways, I'm really excited to hear about those schools. I mean, what are they like? Are they located in castles, like Hogwarts? Do they learn the same things we do? (Well, I know for a fact Durmstrang doesn't; they actually _study _the Dark Arts, instead of just learning how to defend against them, like we do. Stupid idea, if you ask me. It's kind of like covering yourself in bacon grease and then acting surprised when every dog in the neighborhood tries to eat you alive. But I digress.) And the most important question of all: Do they use slave labor, like Hogwarts does, or do they treat house-elves fairly?

So many questions! I can't wait to have them answered!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Actually, the most important question is: Are they any good at Quidditch? _

_Ronald Weasley _

* * *

**The First Hufflepuff **

**_Hannah Abbot _**

Beauxbatons and Durmstrang (why do their names have to be so hard to spell?) arrived yesterday. It was _amazing. _

First, Beauxbatons. They came in this giant carriage drawn by the biggest flying horses I'd ever seen. They were golden-colored and had to be at least as big as elephants, and the carriage was a pretty powder blue. And the teacher who came with them was...well, I don't want to say she was _huge, _but that's what she was. Not _fat_-type huge, but _tall-_type huge. Her name was Madame Maxime, and her students all wore robes the color of the carriage. No cloaks, which wasn't smart, considering how cold it was. My guess is that they realized that once they stepped off the carriage, because they were all shivering.

Next, Durmstrang. (That's a bit easier to spell than...that other school. I'm tired of typing it.) I guess everyone was thinking they'd come by carriage. I was, too, and I was kind of looking forward to seeing how big theirs would be, but they came by ship instead. A ship that came right out of the lake and landed on top of the water, looking like it had come straight from the bottom of the lake after it had been left there for a while. It was a little creepy, especially since it was night and the only light came from the moon. The teacher's name was Professor Karkaroff, and he wasn't nearly as big as Madame Maxime. But his students _did _look pretty scary until they got closer. They were wearing furs, which was smart.

When we got inside, they chose tables to sit at for the Welcoming Feast. We were all hoping they'd sit at our table, but they didn't. Nobody ever does. Madame Maxime's students sat at the Ravenclaw table, and Durmstrang's sat at the Slytherin table. (Wonder why they picked that table? Everyone here always says "Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin..." well, everyone except the Slytherins, who hate everyone...)

The Feast went as most Feasts go. We had food that the students usually eat--I tried some of the bouillabaisse (I hate that word, too!) and it was pretty good. Weird, though. (I like Hogwarts food better.)

Dumbledore told us who the "unbiased judge" is going to be: the Goblet of Fire. (It is what it sounds like--a goblet of fire that picks the three best candidates for the Tournament.) Cedric is entering. He's 17, so he'll be able to get past the Age Line. I really hope he gets in. I don't care about the other Houses; Cedric is the best candidate. Period. (That, and it'd be really cool to have the Hogwarts champion be a Hufflepuff.)

* * *

**Comments: **

_Thanks, Hannah! Glad to have your support! _

_Cedric Diggory _

_-------------------------------------------_

_Go Cedric! _

_Ernie MacMillan _

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

I can't believe it.

_Viktor Krum is still in school!_

He doesn't go to Hogwarts, of course, but Durmstrang. He came with Karkaroff for the Tournament--which is weird, because we just saw him at the Quidditch World Cup! And now he's here!

Wow...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Ron, pick your jaw up off the floor and FIND YOUR S.P.E.W. BADGE!!! _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_I'm not wearing that thing with Krum around! _

_Ronald Weasley _

_---------------------------------------_

_We have to take a stand! _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_Didn't you hear what Hagrid--and everyone else--said? They LIKE it! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_Dobby didn't! _

_Hermione Granger_

_----------------------------------------_

_But...oh, I give up! _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

I didn't mean for it to happen, honest! Somebody put my name in! I KNEW there was an Age Line...and I saw what happened to Fred and George when they tried to fool the Age Line! I didn't have a beard! _It wasn't me!!!!! _

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah, right. Everyone knows you wanted in. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_---------------------------------------_

_IT WASN'T ME, RON!!!! _

_Harry Potter _

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Champion **

**_Cedric Diggory_**

Well, I'm in. And so is Harry Potter.

I don't know how it happened, either. He didn't have a beard or anything...and I don't think a fourteen-year-old could fool the Goblet...

At least I'm in.

* * *

**Comments: **

_So there's an extra champion. He's fourteen. You're seventeen. You know more about magic than he does. _

_Ernie MacMillan_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Yeah. The only thing I'm worried about is whether Harry will make it out alive...I mean, it's kind of obvious somebody wants him dead..._

_Cedric Diggory_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Didn't Dumbledore say there'd be safety measures taken this year to make sure nobody dies? _

_Ernie MacMillan _

_------------------------------------------_

_Yeah, but still. Accidents happen. _

_Cedric Diggory_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I hope they don't! _

_Good luck, by the way, and good job getting in! _

_Hannah Abbot _

_---------------------------------------------_

_Thanks! _

_Cedric Diggory

* * *

_


	46. Chapter 46

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Potter is one of the Hogwarts champions.

Yes, I know what you're saying. "ONE of them? What the hell? I thought there was only supposed to be ONE!" You are correct, my friend. Each school has ONE champion--except for us. And Potter is one of them.

HOW DID HE GET IN?! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF DOING WHATEVER IT WAS HE DID?!

I'm serious, Myrtle! It'd be so cool to compete in the Tournament! Don't roll your eyes like that, just picture yourself...competing against the other schools...winning...Okay, okay, sorry! I know you're a ghost! Just...calm down. Grrr...how did Potter fool the Age Line? HOW?! And why HIM?! Actually, you're right...he probably DID convince someone to put his name in...but who? And HOW?! Did he Imperious them or something? No he's too Gryffindor for that. What do you MEAN, "stop whining?" I have a RIGHT to whine right now! Why don't I like him? What do you mean? Why NOT? Of COURSE that made sense! I don't like him because...because...I just DON'T, okay?!

Something needs to be done about this...

Don't roll your eyes at me!

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Champion**

**_Cedric Diggory _**

I'm disappointed in you.

Let me back up for a minute. I'm glad you all want to support me, and I'm honored to see you all wearing your support for me on your shirts. At least, I _would_ feel honored, if it weren't for the fact that those badges also bash Harry in the process.

Seriously. "SUPPORT CEDRIC DIGGORY/ POTTER STINKS"? Do you realize what you're saying? You're telling everyone to support me because "Potter stinks." I think that's more insult than show of solidarity.

Slytherin started the badge craze. A Slytherin made those badges. Do we _really _want to sink to their level?

* * *

**Comments: **

_But this is the first time in forever Hufflepuff has a champion at ANYTHING! Gryffindor's just stealing our glory! _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_---------------------------------------_

_Yeah! What Justin said! _

_Ernie MacMillan _

_--------------------------------------_

_Didn't you hear a word I said? _

_Cedric Diggory_

_--------------------------------------_

_Ummm...I'm not wearing the "POTTER STINKS" side...just the "SUPPORT CEDRIC DIGGORY" side..._

_Hannah Abbot _

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_**

grayt ideeuh w/ the badjez, draco!

ware them, evree1!

betr huffullpuff then griffindoor!

btw, potter stinks!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Oh, so it was all Draco's idea...I see..._

_Cedric Diggory_

_---------------------------------------_

_u c wat? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_----------------------------------------_

_For the record, I take the badges as anything but a compliment. _

_Cedric Diggory _

_---------------------------------------_

_u wat? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_--------------------------------------_

_He's saying he doesn't like the badges! _

_Cho Chang _

_------------------------------------------_

_o. y not? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_------------------------------------------_

_i dunno...i think they're pretty sweet..._

_Millicent Bullstrode_

_------------------------------------------_

_I like them so much I could just kiss you, Draco! _

_Theodore Nott _

_-------------------------------------------_

_y hasn't he kissed u yet, theodore? i thought he would've by now..._

_Pansy Parkinson_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Let's not start THAT again. _

_Draco Malfoy _

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

I'm not wearing a badge.

Harry may have cheated, but I'm still not wearing one.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Thanks...I think..._

_Harry Potter _

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

What do you MEAN you don't like the badges?! Potter does too stink!

He DOES! He cheated and everyone knows it! Diggory didn't! What do you MEAN "Since when have you cared"?!

That's it. I'm leaving.

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

* * *

**This Is Me **

**_Cho Chang _**

This is a new low, even for Slytherin.

Honestly! Making badges that tell everyone how much they hate Potter, and then disguising them as badges that support Cedric!

Needless to say, I'm not wearing one. I support Cedric, but not those badges. Cedric doesn't like insults, and neither do I.

* * *

**Comments: **

_FINALLY! Someone who agrees with me! _

_Cedric Diggory _

_

* * *

_


	47. Chapter 47

* * *

**BoyWhoLived: **Hey, Professor?

**ProudGryffindor: **Yes? What is it?

**BoyWhoLived: **Rita Skeeter can't get onto this blog, can she?

**ProudGryffindor: **No, of course not!

**BoyWhoLived: **OK, good.

**ProudGryffindor: **Why?

**BoyWhoLived: **Just wondering...

**ProudGryffindor: **After that "article" in the Daily Prophet, we've made sure all members of the press are blocked from this blog.

**BoyWhoLived: **You read that?

**ProudGryffindor: **Yes.

**BoyWhoLived: **Ugh...

**ProudGryffindor: **I didn't believe a word of it.

**BoyWhoLived: **You didn't?

**ProudGryffindor: **No.

**BoyWhoLived: **Thanks.

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

Now that I know Rita Skeeter is blocked...

Thank you _so _much, Rita, for giving the Slytherins yet _another _reason to mock me! Now they've got a nice sappy article to quote at me!

Grrr...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Just ignore it, Harry...ignore it, and it'll go away. _

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Champion**

**_Cedric Diggory_**

The first task is coming up soon. I'm nervous but excited--which, I can easily imagine, is how the other champions feel as well. To everyone reading this: I'll be fine. Remember what Dumbledore said? Unless some horrible accident happens, nobody will die.

Thanks again to everyone for their support. Wish me luck.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Good luck, Cedric! I hope you win! _

_Hannah Abbot _

_------------------------------------_

_Good luck! I'm sure you'll do great! _

_Cho Chang _

_-----------------------------------_

_Go Cedric! _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_----------------------------------_

_Good luck, Cedric! _

_Harry Potter _

_-----------------------------------_

_Thanks! _

_Cedric Diggory

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

I guess Cedric was right: all the champions are probably feeling the same way right now. Nervous.

That's how I feel. I know Dumbledore said nobody will get killed, but I still can't help feeling nervous.

* * *

**Comments: **

_It's natural. Good luck, by the way! _

_Cedric Diggory_

_---------------------------------_

_Thanks! _

_Harry Potter _

_-----------------------------------_

_Just relax. You'll do fine. _

_Hermione Granger _

_---------------------------------_

_Go Harry! _

_Colin Creevey_

* * *

**Uhhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Harry didn't cheat. Someone is trying to do him in.

The first task was today. All of the champions had to fight a dragon--one at a time, and they each got their own dragon. Harry got the Hungarian Horntail--the worst of the four! The only good thing about that is that he had to go last, so I guess he had more time to prepare. And he did the best!

Harry was the only real smart one, he used a Summoning Charm and called his Firebolt over so he could fly past the dragon and get the golden egg. (That's what all the champions had to do--get past the dragon so they could get the golden egg and carry it back.) He ended up with a cut on his shoulder, but nothing worse. Fleur tried to put it into a trance, and that sort of worked, until it snored and set her skirt on fire. She put it out, though, with some water from her wand. Cedric turned a rock into a dog--pretty cool, if you ask me--but that only worked for a minute before the dragon decided it would rather have him than the Labrador. Krum didn't even think of flying, he just hit it with some kind of curse right in the eye. That sort of worked, too, but it went stomping around in agony and crushed half of the real eggs, so most of the judges took off points for that. Except for Karkaroff, that is--he gave Krum a ten. (And he gave Harry a four! Grrr...)

So right now, Harry and Krum are tied for first. And Harry's okay, Madame Pomfrey fixed his shoulder in a jiffy.

* * *

**Comments: **

_So you're not mad at me anymore? _

_Harry Potter _

_----------------------------------------_

_Nope! Why would I be? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Finally! _

_Hermione Granger _

_-----------------------------------_

_Good job, Harry! _

_Cedric Diggory_

_----------------------------------_

_Thanks! You too! _

_Harry Potter _

_

* * *

_

_You should know by now that this happens at least once a month: my plot bunny will run away, and I'll have to wait for it to come back. Well, it happened again, and I had to send the Gryffindor Quidditch team after it. _


	48. Chapter 48

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Okay, Myrtle, why are you so pissed at me? What...my...chest? You're mad at me because I've got nice pecs? Most...no? Then WHAT?! No, I'm NOT blind! WHAT IS IT?! Oh. The badge? That's it? Why would you be mad about that? WHAT?! It is NOT a petty rivalry! What if I just wear the SUPPORT CEDRIC DIGGORY side? Okay, okay! I'm taking it off and I'm flushing it down the toilet! There. Happy? Good.

So. What's up with you? Oh. Nobody's come into your bathroom lately? That sucks...hey, I flushed the badge down the toilet, remember? Okay, good, I was hoping you wouldn't forget something that happened less than five minutes ago...Me? Not much. Just normal school-type stuff. Transfiguration is kinda hard, but Charms is always pretty easy. I like the Summoning Charm. It's pretty cool. I've finally figured out how to get a Caterwauling Charm to play music when a certain person enters the room...too bad I can't use it. What would I do with it? I'd set it to play "Paradise City" whenever somebody enters the Slytherin common room! Wouldn't that be cool?

Yeah...I DO listen to Muggle music more than wizard music. I was wondering when you'd catch on...what? What does it mean? No, I seriously don't know! Tell me! What? Muggles aren't stupid? Wait wait wait...your logic is sort of flawed...I like it, so Muggles aren't stupid? Oh. That makes sense...you're right! Nobody stupid could make something that cool! Just look at Crabbe and Goyle! Yes, they've tried. They tried poetry once...please don't make me relive that. Really. You DON'T want to know.

* * *

**Subject: Yule Ball **

If you're planning on going to the Yule Ball, find your dates soon! Yes, you may come alone if you must, but this _is _a couples dance.

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall

* * *

**

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh no...

**ISpellPieRight: **What?

**BoyWhoLived: **I HAVE to ask someone to the Yule Ball...

**ISpellPieRight: **Why?

**BoyWhoLived: **Because it's traditional for the champions and their partners to open the Ball.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Haven't you been wanting to ask Cho Chang?

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **So? Just ask her!

**ISpellPieRight: **It's not that easy, Hermione...

**BoyWhoLived: **Really, it's not...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Just go up to her and ASK her!

**BoyWhoLived: **Okay...let me IM her real quick...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **NO! DON'T DO THAT!!!

**BoyWhoLived: **Why not?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Asking a girl out online is about the tackiest thing you can possibly do! It's poor taste and kind of rude.

**ISpellPieRight: **Rude?

**BoyWhoLived: **How so?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **It shows her that you're too scared of her to ask her in person. It makes her feel like you'd rather not face her--and she'll wonder if it isn't some kind of a prank.

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh. I'll ask her in person, then...

**ISpellPieRight: **Thanks for shattering all my hopes and dreams, Hermione.

* * *

**This Is Me**

**_Cho Chang _**

Guess who asked me to the Yule Ball.

CEDRIC DIGGORY!!

He just came up to me and asked me to the Ball...it was kind of a surprise but really really sweet at the same time! And of course I said yes...who'd say no?

I'm so excited!

* * *

**Comments: **

_You are SO lucky! _

_Padma Patil _

_---------------------------------_

_I know! I can't wait! _

_Cho Chang _

_--------------------------------_

_:D _

_Cedric Diggory _

_

* * *

_

**Uhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

I can't believe it.

I'm so stupid.

I asked Fleur to the Ball.

I just walked up and asked her.

She said no, of course...

I'm so stupid.

* * *

**Comments: **

_It's not completely your fault...she IS part veela..._

_Harry Potter _

_

* * *

_

**PrettyPansy: **YEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

**IHeartMyKitty:** wat is it? wats so yeeee?

**PrettyPansy: **DRACO ASKED ME TO THE BALL!!!!!!

**IHeartMyKitty: **aw, thats great, pansy! congrats!

**PrettyPansy:** isnt it? i'm so happy...

**IHeartMyKitty: **youre so lucky...

**PrettyPansy: **i know...

* * *

_All right, that was Part One of Blogging About the Ball. _

_I need your guys' help. See, I don't own any of the Harry Potter books; I've been using Elpsbeth's _The Marauders and Lily Read the Harry Potter Books _series to keep the timelines and events straight, but she only has up to I think the fifteenth chapter of OOTP. So I need somebody who owns all of the Harry Potter books to send me VERY detailed summaries of certain chapters in OOTP, HBP and DH. Whoever sends me the best will win a fabulous prize package that includes a virtual cookie, my undying gratitude, and some other award, up to and including a cameo appearance in the_ Hogwarts Blog_. Extreme? Maybe. But if you want the Blog to survive up until the seventh book, you'll send me those summaries! PM me if you're interested, and I'll tell you what chapters I need. _


	49. Chapter 49

_First off, I'd like to thank everyone who offered to send me summaries of various chapters. I REALLY appreciate it, and I'm sorry I couldn't reply to all of you in person. Second, for those of you who are wondering why the heck I just can't go to the library and check out the books, the answer is simple: My parents. They hate Harry Potter and don't even know I've read the books, so it's kind of hard for me to just check them out and bring them home. Also, thanks for all the site suggestions! I've tried Wikipedia, but it's not too detailed, and details are what I need, but thanks anyway. The other sites sound very helpful. _

_Here are the chapters I need, for those of you who are interested: _

_OOTP: All chapters after Harry arrives at Hogwarts; HBP: Same as OOTP, along with the chapter "Draco's Detour"; DH: The chapter "Malfoy Manor" and everything from the point where Harry and Friends arrive at Hogwarts for the final battle until the end of the book, epilogue excluded. _

_Again, thanks to everyone who offered! Just send me whatever you can; I'll post the chapters I don't need as I get them. You all get my undying gratitude and a virtual cookie. _

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

I finally asked Cho to the Ball.

She said no.

Cedric already asked her.

Ginny's already going with somebody, too...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Aw, I'm sorry, Harry! _

_Hermione Granger _

_-----------------------------------_

_I know the feeling...trust me..._

_Ronald Weasley

* * *

_**PrettyPansy: **hey draco...

**ProudPureblood: **Hey Pansy...

**PrettyPansy: **:D

**ProudPureblood: **:D

**PrettyPansy: **cant wait 4 th ball!

**ProudPureblood: **Me neither...it's going to be cool.

**PrettyPansy: **ya! wat r u wearing?

**ProudPureblood: **Um...robes?

**PrettyPansy: **wat kind of robes?

**ProudPureblood: **Black ones.

**PrettyPansy: **wat kind of black ones?

**ProudPureblood: **The kind that make it so I'm not naked.

**PrettyPansy: **...nvm.

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

She just kept pestering me! "What kind of robes are you wearing?" "What kind of black ones?" HOW MANY QUESTIONS CAN ONE GIRL ASK?! Why would anyone care what I'm wearing as long as I'm wearing something? So what if we don't match? She already bought the robes beforehand, so what does it matter? It's not like our not matching will change anything! "A girl thing?" Geez, that's really helpful, Myrtle. REALLY helpful.

* * *

**IShowNoWisdom: **Hey there, Angelina... 

**QuidditchQueen: **Hey there, Fred...

**IShowNoWisdom:** What's up?

**QuidditchQueen: **As if you didn't know.

**IShowNoWisdom:** As a matter of fact, I don't.

**QuidditchQueen: **Yes you do.

**IShowNoWisdom: **How do YOU know what I know and what I don't know? Maybe I don't know anything...or maybe I know everything. How are you to know?

**QuidditchQueen: **Wait...what?

**IShowNoWisdom: **You heard me.

**QuidditchQueen: **Ummm...okay...

**IShowNoWisdom: **:D

**QidditchQueen: **So.

**IShowNoWisdom: **So.

**QuidditchQueen: **What is that song I keep hearing every time I enter our common room?

**IShowNoWisdom: **A good one.

**QuidditchQueen: **So I've gathered. But what is it?

**IShowNoWisdom: **"Accidentally in Love" by Counting Crows.

**QuidditchQueen: **Hear that? That's the sound of me laughing.

**IShowNoWisdom: **Hear that? That's the sound of me making you laugh.

**QuidditchQueen: **LOL!

**IShowNoWisdom: **:D

* * *


	50. Chapter 50

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

we r going 2 th bal.

butt we dont hav dayts.

sad.

we r going newayz.

ne1 want 2 go w/us?

we r akchally pritee good looking!

and we dont byt!

wel...greg duz sumtyms...

ne taykers?

* * *

**Comments: **

_Guess not. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_---------------------------------_

_shut up. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle

* * *

_

**This Is Me**

**_Cho Chang _**

The Ball was_ incredible. _

Dumbledore managed to get the Weird Sisters to play, which was pretty amazing. They played a lot of my favorite songs--which, it turns out, are pretty fun to dance to. Which was a good thing, because Cedric and I danced...well, whenever we could. He's a _great _dancer. But it's not just that that made it fun.

I'd seen him a few times before, but we hadn't hung out all that much since we're in different Houses and two years apart. But we'd met every once in a while, and I liked him. But last night, I got to spend several straight hours with him (our first date, I guess) and I like him even more. He's really sweet--he held my chair for me, said my robes looked great (I was hoping they would), and was just really nice the whole night.

When we weren't dancing, we talked, and even when we danced, we talked. We have a lot in common--we both like Quidditch, both play Seeker (coincidence? I think NOT! lol), both like Transfiguration (he's a lot better at it than I am, since he's two years older than me...but you probably got that already.). His favorite candy is the Chocolate Frogs (we asked each other stupid questions like that), his favorite color is blue (I am SO glad I went with blue robes!), and he wants to either play Quidditch for Britain or go into magical law when he graduates. (He says it's because there are so many things that are wrong with our system right now; it's not really fair to everyone.) But Quidditch would be his first choice. lol.

It was so much fun! I'm so glad I got to go...and even happier that I go to go with _Cedric_!

* * *

**Comments: **

_You're lucky. Ron Weasley is a horrible dancer and he spent half the night ignoring me. _

_Padma Patil _

_-------------------------------------------_

_Ooooh...that sucks..._

_Cho Chang _

_-------------------------------------------_

_The same goes for Harry Potter. He wasn't a very fun date...he may be one of the champions (and really cute!), but don't take him on a date if you want to have a good time. _

_Parvati Patil _

_----------------------------------------_

_Ouch..._

_Cho Chang_

_------------------------------------------_

_Glad you had fun, Cho:D _

_Cedric Diggory_

_----------------------------------------_

_CEDRIC! You weren't supposed to read that:P _

_Cho Chang _

_-------------------------------------------_

_Oops...want me to do a quick Memory Charm so I'll forget it:P _

_Cedric Diggory_

_----------------------------------------_

_NO! Then you'll end up like Lockhart! _

_Cho Chang _

_------------------------------------------_

_Yeah...I'd rather not be an idiot..._

_Cedric Diggory_

_---------------------------------------------_

_You're anything but. _

_Cho Chang _

_-------------------------------------------_

_:D Thanks! _

_Cedric Diggory_

_

* * *

_

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

The Ball was fun. Sort of. For a while.

Pansy said she had fun...which is good, because I wasn't sure she was having a good time until she said so. It's not that I'm not observant--I actually think I'm quite observant--but Pansy is kind of...what's the word I'm looking for..._moody. _

I heard a song that describes her perfectly. It's called "Mood Rings" by Relient K, and the chorus goes "Let's get/ Emotional girls to all wear mood rings/ So we'll be tipped off/ To when they're ticked off/ 'Cuz we'll know just what they're thinking/ Just what they're thinking..." (It also says "She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way/ Her moods are swingin' on the swingset almost every day," and that also describes her. It describes how she was at the Ball, at least.)

We met at the entrance (well, I guess it's more like the exit, since we were inside) of our common room. She looked great--her robes were pink, in case you were interested. It looks good on her. She smiled and giggled, I took her arm (all the other couples were doing it, so I assumed it was what I was supposed to do) and we set off for the Great Hall. She smiled and giggled all the way there like she'd just misused a Cheering Charm.

When we got there, Granger was there too. Somehow, she got herself a date with Krum--and she looked great! I hate to say it, but she really did look great! She'd done something with her hair so it wasn't bushy anymore, her teeth were straight (not long anymore) and her robes were this pale blue. I feel slightly disloyal in saying this, but she looked better than Pansy.

Pansy must've noticed what I noticed (and the fact that I noticed it) because once we were sitting at a table, she turned to me with this worried frown and asked me how she looked.

"You look great," I said.

"Really?"

"Yes." I smiled to let her know I meant it. She smiled back, but that didn't stop her from asking me the same question every ten minutes.

"Look, Pansy, you look fine," I said after the tenth repeat of the same question.

"Just 'fine?'"

"You look good, okay?"

"Just 'good?'"

I did a very stupid thing then. I rolled my eyes before I told her she looked _great. _Then she started crying and ran off for the bathroom, and I just sat there, watching.

"What'd you say?" Crabbe asked.

I just shrugged. I didn't run after her, but just sat there, waiting for her to come back. She finally did, but was kind of sullen until we had danced for a while. Then she seemed okay. (The Weird Sisters came, which was pretty cool. I like them--they're one of the few wizard bands I like--but it would've been cooler if we'd gotten a Muggle band, like Relient K, maybe? Oh, something more romantic? How about Lifehouse? Or...oh, I don't know...Rob Thomas? (Not one of my favorites, but he's not bad.) Stupid Statute of Secrecy.)

Anyway, I thought she still might be mad at me, but this morning she told me she had a great time. And now it's back to normal. Kind of.

Girls don't make sense.

"Mood ring, oh mood ring, tell me will you bring/ The key/ To unlock this mystery/ Of girls and their emotions/ Play it back in slow motion so I/ May understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind..."

* * *

_I do plan on doing some other perspectives, but I can't think of any right now. _


	51. Chapter 51

_Back to the summaries thing: So many people have offered, that I think we need to set up some kind of a system...so...I guess that if there's a chapter you want to do, volunteer for it, and I'll post that as TAKEN on my profile. If anyone has a better idea, say so! I'll listen. _

* * *

**Uhh...Here's My Blog **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

The Ball was okay, I guess.

Percy was there. Apparently he got promoted to being Mr. Crouch's personal assistant. But that's not what made it just "okay."

Hermione was there. With Krum. _Viktor Krum! _The _Durmstrang _champion! That guy is going against Harry in this Tourniment--and if it weren't for all the safety measures this year, it'd probably be to the death--and she's going on a _date _with him?!

On top of all that, Padma didn't have fun. She kept bugging me to dance with her, but I didn't feel like it, so she just sulked before dancing with some other people. I don't think she liked my stupid maroon robes either.

I hate balls.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Me too. _

_Harry Potter __

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

The Ball...where to begin...

It was okay. Parvati's mad at me--I don't think she had fun. Well, it's not MY fault I can't dance!

At least Hermione and Krum had fun. I didn't.

* * *

**Comments: **

_You should've danced with her! That's half the reason you go to balls--to dance! _

_Hermione Granger _

_--------------------------------------_

_Don't feel bad, Harry. I can't dance, either. Really. For a while, I thought I'd get banned or something because I stepped on so many people's feet. _

_Neville Longbottom _

_

* * *

_

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born **

**_Hermione Granger _**

Unlike Harry and Ron, I had a great time at the Ball.

It was the first wizard's ball I'd ever attended...actually, it was the first _ball_ I'd ever attended, period. The Great Hall was decorated beatifully, with silver frost covering the walls (held there by some sort of magic, since the Hall wasn't cold at all) and ivy garlands criscrossing the ceiling. The House tables had been replaced with smaller ones.

Viktor was very sweet, telling me all about Durmstrang and asking me about Hogwarts. (It was so cute--he couldn't pronounce my name very well because of his accent, so it kept coming out "Hermy-oh-nee." Close enough. lol.) We danced and talked and had a great time--until Ron butted in. He said I was "fraternizing with the enemy" when all I was doing was going on a date with Viktor! And he's _not_ the enemy! He's just from Durmstrang!

Sorry to rant. Anyway, other than that, I had a great time.

* * *

**Comment: **

_Call it what you want, but you were fraternizing with the enemy! Admit it! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------_

_I won't admit it because there's nothing to admit! _

_Hermione Granger _

_-----------------------------_

_Oh, defending old Vicky now, are we? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------_

_HIS NAME IS NOT VICKY! It's VIKTOR! And yes, I AM defending him! _

_Hermione Granger _

_-------------------------------_

_Hey, Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up!_

_Harry Potter_

_------------------------------_

_Oh, don't think I'm going to fall for THAT again, Harry! _

_Hermione Granger _

_------------------------------_

_No, really! They have a new blog up! Apparently Malfoy's date was worse than mine..._

_Harry Potter _

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

hi gyz.

the bal wuz fun.

butt we didnt hav dayts.

nobudee wantid 2 go w/us, apairentlee.

that mayks us sad.

othur then that, it wuz fun.

draco didnt think so, tho.

at leest he didnt akt lyk it.

pansy got mad at him.

we dont no wat he sed 2 mayk her so mad.

butt he sed sumthing.

dunno wat it wuz.

she wuznt mad 2day.

butt she wuz erlier.

she wuz crying and she left.

then she caym bak.

wundur wat hapend...

* * *

**Comments: **

_You have no idea how grateful I am for telling the entire school about that, guys. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_----------------------------------------_

_ur welcum. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_----------------------------------------_

_I was being sarcastic! _

_Draco Malfoy_

_-------------------------------------_

_wuts sarcastic? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_

_--------------------------------------_

_It's when you say something, but you mean the opposite of what you say. Translation: He's really pissed at you for telling the whole school about his date. _

_Cho Chang _

_----------------------------------------_

_dont bring that up again, guys! thanks alot! _

_Pansy Parkinson _

_----------------------------------------_

_Oooohhhh...bad date, Draco? _

_Theodore Nott_

_---------------------------------------_

_Keep doing idiotic stuff like that, and I'll stop reading your blog. _

_Cedric Diggory_

_---------------------------------------_

_lik wat? idiotic stuf lik wat? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_----------------------------------------_

_Like telling everyone about your friend's less-than-stellar date. That's really low. _

_Cedric Diggory_

_----------------------------------------_

_...Thanks, Cedric..._

_Draco Malfoy _

* * *


	52. Chapter 52

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!

How did Rita Skeeter get all those interviews with the Slytherins? How did she find out about Hagrid? And WHY does anyone CARE?!

Grrr...I know Malfoy had something to do with this, and if it weren't against school rules, I'd strangle him...

* * *

**Comments: **

_Me too! Grrr...where's his blog? I'll e-strangle him! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_Get him away from his cronies! I'll pummel him! _

_Hermione Granger _

_

* * *

_

**Journal of a Transfiguration Teacher**

**_Minerva McGonagall_**

How does that schitzophrenic harpie who calls herself Rita Skeeter get into Hogwarts so much?

We've told her to stay away unless it's to cover the Triwizard Tournament...and she has. We hacen't seen her since the first task.

So HOW did she get all those interviews with the Slytherins?!

The possibility stands that she simply faked their quotes--made up a juicy-sounding bit and attached Crabbe or Goyle's name to it--but that doesn't explain how she found out about Hagrid...

The next time I see her, she'll pay.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I don't get it, either! It just doesn't make sense! _

_Pomona Sprout _

_---------------------------------------_

_For the record, I did NOT authorize my students to speak with that "journalist." _

_Severus Snape _

_---------------------------------------_

_Well, THAT'S good to know. _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_--------------------------------------_

_I was just letting you know I'm not behind all this. _

_Severus Snape _

_-------------------------------------_

_We didn't think you were._

_Pomona Sprout_

_-----------------------------------_

_Oh, no, of COURSE we didn't! _

_Minerva McGonagall _

_--------------------------------------_

_Minerva, I have nothing against Hagrid. _

_Severus Snape _

_

* * *

_

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born **

**_Hermione Granger _**

At least Hagrid is coming back. Dumbledore got him to agree to breakfast in the Great Hall--which I'm guessing (and hoping) means he's going back to teaching Care of Magical Creatures.

I sure hope it does. I hope that "article" didn't shatter his confidence completely.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Me too. _

_Harry Potter _

_------------------------------------_

_Me too. Rita Skeeter is stupid. _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

It seemed like a good idea at the time. (All good stories start out that way.)

I thought it'd be fun to give Rita Skeeter the scoop--or at least a few good quotes--for an article about Hagrid. (The whole flobberworm quote was more of an inside joke than anything else--we all said that Crabbe and Goyle were so dim they'd get bit by a flobberworm, which is only funny because flobberworms have no teeth. Everyone knows that. And when I told Rita that Crabbe got bit by one, everyone laughed. I didn't think she'd actually print it.) And it was fun--for about...oh, a couple hours or so. That's about how long Care of Magical Creatures usually lasts--and any time after that was long enough to see Potter and Pals' shock.

Now...I don't know. I wish I'd never given her those quotes. Hagrid's not THAT bad of a teacher, and (as Potter and Pals so often point out (though not directly to me)), the hippogriff incident was sort of my fault.

I guess it's kind of too late. The article's already out.

I just didn't expect so many people to believe it.

* * *


	53. Chapter 53

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Champion**

**_Cedric Diggory_**

The second task is coming soon.

As with the first task, I'm nervous. More nervous than before, though I can't explain why. I know what I have to do, but that doesn't alleviate the stress. It doesn't keep me from staying up all night.

I just have to keep reminding myself about the first task. Sure, I got burned, but I made it through alive. And burns are nothing to Madame Pomfrey. (She told me so herself.)

Well, here goes. The second task. Wish me luck.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Good luck, Cedric! _

_Hannah Abbot _

_-----------------------------------_

_Good luck! _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_-----------------------------------_

_You'll do great, Cedric. I know you will. :D _

_Cho Chang _

_-------------------------------------_

_Thanks, Cho! _

_Cedric Diggory _

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

I know I did fine on the first task.

I know Krum and I are tied for first.

I know I didn't get killed.

But I'm still nervous about the second task.

Wish me luck. God knows I'll need it.

* * *

**Comments: **

_You'll do fine, Harry. _

_Hermione Granger _

_---------------------------------_

_Don't worry, Harry. You'll do fine. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------_

_Good luck! _

_Colin Creevey_

_---------------------------------_

_We hereby wish you LUCK! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_---------------------------------_

_Good luck, Harry! _

_Cedric Diggory _

_-----------------------------------_

_Thanks. :) _

_Harry Potter _

* * *

**The First Hufflepuff **

**_Hannah Abbot _**

The second task is over. Cedric came in first!

All of the champions had to go down to the bottom of the lake and rescue "what they'd miss the most"--which, in Cedric's case, was Cho Chang (his girlfriend, for those of you who don't know). Fleur had to rescue her little sister, Krum had to rescue Hermione Granger (_his _girlfriend), and Harry had to rescue Ron Weasley (his best friend). Cedric made it back just one minute outside the time limit, and he got 47 points. Harry made it back long after that, but since the Mer-leader-person (I forget the exact word and won't even try to spell it) said Harry's delay was because he stayed behind to rescue all of the hostages (not just Ron), he got 45 points. So now he and Cedric are tied for first.

Great job, Cedric!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah! Awesome job! _

_Ernie MacMillan_

_----------------------------------_

_Maybe Hufflepuff will win the Tournament! That'd be so cool! _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley _

_----------------------------------_

_You guys really didn't have to throw that surprise party for me..._

_Cedric Diggory _

_-------------------------------_

_Yes we did. _

_Hannah Abbot _

_--------------------------------_

_It was Hannah's idea. _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_--------------------------------_

_I'm not complaining; I was just telling you that the party wasn't necessary. Not that I don't appreciate it...:D _

_Cedric Diggory _

_--------------------------------_

_Great job, Cedric! _

_Harry Potter _

_-------------------------------_

_Thanks! _

_Cedric Diggory _

_

* * *

_

**This Is Me**

**_Cho Chang _**

Let's see...what happened today?

Well, it all started when Dumbledore put me, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Gabrielle Delacour into a bewitched sleep so we could go down to the bottom of the lake and not drown. It ended when Cedric rescued me from the merpeople.

I know it wasn't exactly a _real _rescue, but it was still kind of romantic.

The fact that Cedric came in first (he's now tied with Harry in the overall Tournament) is just icing on the cake. Whipped cream icing. With chocolate sprinkles.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Aww...that's so sweet! _

_Padma Patil _

_----------------------------------_

_Romantic, eh? _

_Cedric Diggory_

_---------------------------------_

_Yes. Romantic. :P _

_Cho Chang _

_---------------------------------_

_You realize you weren't in any real danger, right? _

_Cedric Diggory_

_----------------------------------_

_I know. But it was still romantic. :D_

_Cho Chang

* * *

_


	54. Chapter 54

_

* * *

_**CharmingRavenclaw: **I think Potter will win. 

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **My bet is on Diggory.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Is that just because he's one of your students?

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Of course not! I'm betting on Diggory because I think he's going to win.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **I still think Potter is going to win.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **How much would you be willing to bet?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Hmm...let's start with four Galleons.

**HerbologistHufflpuff: **Four?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Yes. You know how quickly things can change. Before the first task everyone was betting on Krum.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **True...four Galleons it is.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I have an announcement to make.

**ProudGryffindor: **You washed your hair?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **No. I mean...yes...but that wasn't my announcement...

**ProudGryffindor**: With that homemade shampoo, as usual?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I'll have you know it works quite well for me, thank you!

**ProudGryffindor: **Whatever you say.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **What was the announcement, Severus?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I finally began listening to Muggle music.

**ProudGryffindor: **You what?

**CharmingRavenclaw:** What bands?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **A student suggested--or rather insisted--I listen to Metallica. That was a half-hour ago. I'm still listening to them.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Metallica? Are you serious?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes. Why?

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I can't listen to more than a few bars before I want to rip my own hair out...

**ProudGryffindor: **What student? I want to thank them...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **This student has requested anonymity.

**ProudGryffindor: **Darn.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I don't know why...but I could listen to "Enter the Sandman" all day...

**CharmingRavenclaw: **I thought you'd like that song...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **You put that student up to it?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **No, but the first time I heard it, I thought "Hm...this sounds like something Severus would like..."

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Ah. Well, I think I will...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Will what?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Listen to "Enter the Sandman" all day.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Oh. Excuse me while I run away to my Goo Goo Dolls sanctuary...

**

* * *

**

**I'm Pretty Much Awesome**

_**Draco Malfoy**_

Yep.

Snape finally listened.

I told him to try Metallica, and he DID! And he actually LIKED it! No, I do like them--I actually love Metallica. I just didn't think Snape would. He's not a big fan of Muggle music, really. You've never heard it? Seriously? Well, hang on...let me put it on for you...I'll have to turn it down low...there! Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, thought you'd like it. What do you mean "What about your dad?" He won't find out. I asked Snape not to tell anyone I got him hooked on Metallica.

(sings) Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight...

* * *

_Just a short chapter while I work on college applications..._


	55. Chapter 55

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born**

**_Hermione Granger _**

I can't believe this.

I usually don't condone murder, but I would really like to kill Rita Skeeter right now.

What did she do this time, you ask? She wrangled some more interviews with the Slytherins so she could write another "article" about me and Krum and how I broke Harry's heart! Grrr...If I ever find her...

To everyone who believed that piece of trash: I don't love Harry. I mean, I do, but like a _brother. _If I dated him, that would be like creepy incest! You just don't date your brother!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Maybe YOU don't, but Rita Skeeter might..._

_Fred and George Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_EW!!!!!!_

_Hermione Granger_

_---------------------------------------_

_I don't think I've ever hated her more..._

_Harry Potter _

_-----------------------------------------_

_Me neither! _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**The First Hufflepuff**

**_Hannah Abbot _**

I just read the latest article by Rita Skeeter about Harry Potter.

I think she's lying. Yeah, Krum looked pretty taken with Hermione Granger at the Ball (I didn't get close enough to hear anything they said, but he hardly took his eyes off of her the whole night), but Harry didn't look jealous. He actually didn't spend a whole lot of time with her and Krum. (And here's the funny thing: _Ron_ was the one staring at them. Hermione and Krum, I mean. And he didn't look happy.)

Besides, Harry and all his friends looked mad when they saw the article. Especially Hermione.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I'm glad you don't believe her, Hannah. Good job recognizing a lie when you see one. _

_Cedric Diggory_

_----------------------------------_

_Yeah...when I read the article I was like "What? Harry doesn't like Hermione..." _

_Susan Bones _

_----------------------------------_

_I didn't think she was telling the truth..._

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Champion **

**_Cedric Diggory_**

Forgive me for being blunt, but if you believe_ anything _Rita Skeeter writes, you're a moron.

Yes. A moron. That woman is ruthless, willing to do anything it takes for a good quote--including lying. I don't know all the details about Harry Potter and Hermione Granger and I don't pretend to, but I know Granger wouldn't backstab a friend like that. She'd at least have the decency to break things off with Harry if she wanted to date Krum.

Skeeter's lies are dangerous because they contain a tiny grain of truth. She knew Harry and Hermione were friends, so she just took it one step further. The best thing is to just not read her "articles." That way, you won't wonder if what she's saying is the truth. You won't have to worry.

Stay away from that woman. If you see her, don't tell her ANYTHING. Not even "No comment." Just walk away.

* * *

**Comments: **

_You...you didn't believe her? _

_Harry Potter _

_---------------------------------------------_

_Of course not. She's a liar! _

_Cedric Diggory_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Wow...thanks, Cedric! At least somebody believes I'm not a conniving backstabber..._

_Hermione Granger _

_

* * *

_

**It Wasn't Me **

**_Draco Malfoy _**

Read the new title of my blog, Myrtle. It's the truth! IT WASN'T ME!

Seriously, just look over the article one more time. There's not a single quote from me in there. I wasn't even there for the interview! It was all Pansy! SHE'S the one who gave Skeeter all those juicy details about Potter and Granger! Why? I have no idea. Why don't you ask HER? OK, OK, I'LL ask her! One second.

* * *

**ProudPureblood: **Hey there, Pansy.

**PrettyPansy: **hay draco.

**ProudPureblood: **What's up with that WW article?

**PrettyPansy: **u meen th 1 about granger?

**ProudPureblood: **Yeah.

**PrettyPansy: **wat do u meen, wats up w/it?

**ProudPureblood: **I mean...well, you know what I mean!

**PrettyPansy: **no i dont.

**ProudPureblood: **Look, why'd you give Skeeter all that info on Granger?

**PrettyPansy: **bcuz i felt lik it.

**ProudPureblood: **Why did you feel like it?

**PrettyPansy: **y r u interogating me?!

**ProudPureblood: **BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU TOLD THE WHOLE SCHOOL THAT POTTER WAS GOING OUT WITH GRANGER AND SHE STABBED HIM IN THE BACK, THAT'S WHY!!!

**PrettyPansy: **stop yelling at me!

**ProudPureblood: **Sorry. Just tell me why, okay?

**PrettyPansy: **not if ur gonna yel at me!

**ProudPureblood: **Pansy, please?

**PrettyPansy: **(sign off)

**

* * *

**


	56. Chapter 56

_

* * *

_**PrettyPansy: **did u c her face? 

**IHeartMyKitty: **omg YES! it wuz awsum!

**PrettyPansy: **and whoever sent that bubotuber pus...

**IHeartMyKitty: **do u kno?

**PrettyPansy: **no, i dont. wish i did, tho.

**ProudPureblood: **You guys do realize she's not going out with Potter, don't you?

**IHeartMyKitty: **rly?

**PrettyPansy: **o cum on, every1 knos she liks him!

**IHeartMyKitty: **ya...

**ProudPureblood: **But she's not going out with him...

**PrettyPansy: **nething can happen. u kno that.

**ProudPureblood: **They're not going out.

**

* * *

**

**It Wasn't Me**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

I can't believe I just did that.

I've spent the last ten minutes arguing with Pansy over Potter's love life! WHY? Yeah, yeah, I know it was the right thing to do...

Maybe I was just feeling guilty about that _Daily Prophet _article.

* * *

_My plot bunny is gone. I think it ran into a couple dementors...or maybe Voldemort got it. Ugh. I don't know. _


	57. Chapter 57

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

Mr. Crouch is crazy.

Last night, he was out on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, talking to one of the trees like it was Percy, talking about his wife and son like they're still alive. Then, he suddenly turned to me and told me to warn Dumbledore that YKW is getting stronger.

Krum was with me, and I ran off to get Dumbledore, but when I came back Mr. Crouch was gone and Krum was lying on the ground, Stunned. When Dumbledore revived him, he said Crouch had attacked him.

I told all this to Ron and Hermione, and we stayed up all night discussing it. It still doesn't make any sense. Did Crouch really attack Krum? And how'd he leave so fast? Like Hermione keeps saying, you can't Apparate or Disapparate on Hogwarts grounds, so unless he's an Animagus, which doesn't make any sense, then he _couldn't _have gotten off the grounds so fast.

It just doesn't fit.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Yeah..._

_Ronald Weasley _

_--------------------------------------------------_

_And you didn't see anyone else? _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------------------_

_Nobody else was there but me and Krum. _

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------------------------_

_It's all so weird..._

_Hermione Granger _

_------------------------------------------------------_

_We've got two things to say..._

_1. That is REALLY weird. _

_2. Crabbe and Goyle have a new blog up! _

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

th trywizurd turnamint is giting inturesting.

potter and diggoree r tyed 4 1st.

krum is buhind them.

deluhkour is loozing.

haha! loozer!

and the thurd task is cumming up.

wundur wat it is?

mayb theyl hav 2 iscayp frum dimenturs.

thatd b kool.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I highly doubt it's dementors. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_---------------------------------------------_

_y? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_

_-----------------------------------------------_

_Because there's only one way to fight them off, and I don't think any of them know it. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_----------------------------------------------_

_o. _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Go Potter!_

_Colin Creevey_

_-----------------------------------------------_

_Go Diggory! _

_Hannah Abbot_

_

* * *

_

**Hufflepuff's Champion**

**_Cedric Diggory_**

I'm not too worried about the third task.

The first task was the worst. Having to dodge a dragon and avoid getting burned to a crisp is NOT my idea of a good time.

The second task was a little better. Sure, the water was FREEZING, but at least there weren't any dragons. (And the fact that Cho thought my rescuing her was romantic just made the whole ordeal seem fifty times better than it was.)

Since I made it through the first two alive, I'm not worried about the third one.

* * *

**Comments: **

_You did great on the last two, Cedric! _

_Hannah Abbot_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Psh. You'll win the Tournament, no problem. _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_--------------------------------------------_

_It's still too early to tell, Justin. _

_Cedric Diggory_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Yeah, but you're tied with Potter for first! Doesn't that say something? _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_---------------------------------------------_

_You're not going to have to rescue me again, are you?_

_Cho Chang_

_-------------------------------------------_

_No. :D_

_Cedric Diggory_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Awww...I mean...that's good...:D_

_Cho Chang_

_--------------------------------------------_

_Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh...:D_

_Hannah Abbot_

_---------------------------------------------_

_o.0_

_Cedric Diggory_

_

* * *

I would like to take this moment to thank everyone who told me they loved this fic AND to everyone who used the Patronus Charm to keep my plot bunny safe. It was quite the battle, but my plot bunny made it through okay. :) If you guys didn't like this fic...well, it would've died around chapter four. _


	58. Chapter 58

* * *

**Hufflepuff's Champion**

**_Cedric Diggory_**

Well, the third task is today. Remember what I said before the first two tasks, guys: I'll be fine. I heard a rumor it'll be the easiest of the three.

Wish me luck anyway. Harry, too. If either of us wins, it'll be a Hogwarts victory!

* * *

**Comments: **

_Good luck, Cedric! _

_Cho Chang _

_---------------------------------_

_Good luck! _

_Hannah Abbot_

_-----------------------------------_

_I wish you luck! _

_Harry Potter _

_----------------------------------_

_Same to you! _

_Cedric Diggory_

_-----------------------------------_

_You'll win, Cedric, I'm sure. _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_-----------------------------------_

_Good luck to both of you! _

_Colin Creevey_

_-----------------------------------_

_The third task shouldn't be a problem for either of you. _

_Hermione Granger _

* * *

**This Is Me**

**_Cho Chang_**

The third task is over. Cedric is dead.

I should probably say what happened. The third task was going great, what with Cedric and Harry in the lead. (They were tied, so they got a head start into the maze. That's what the task was, a maze with a bunch of obstacles. Whoever touched the Triwizard Tournament Cup first won the Tournament.)

They reached it at the same time and both touched it. Then they vanished--the Cup must've been a Portkey. When they came back much later...Cedric was dead.

I can't type anymore.

* * *

**Comments: **

_He was a great guy, Cho. And he really liked you. _

_Padma Patil _

_-----------------------------------_

_That doesn't change the fact that he's dead! _

_Cho Chang _

_

* * *

_

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

Cedric is dead.

YKW is back.

Here's what happened: The Cup was a Portkey, and since me and Cedric wanted to split the victory, we both touched it at the same time. We ended up in a graveyard where Wormtail killed Cedric...and then he used some Dark magic--I don't want to describe it--to bring YKW back. He tried to kill me, but I got away--barely--and came back here.

That's what happened.

* * *

**The First Hufflepuff**

**_Hannah Abbot_**

Cedric, we miss you.

You were a great guy--the kind of person every Hufflepuff wants to be like. Kind, fair, honest and trustworthy, you _were _Hufflepuff, in a sense. You embodied the best qualities of this House.

We all loved you. Except for the Slytherins, I don't know a single person that didn't admire you on some level.

When you were chosen to be the Hogwarts champion, we were thrilled. The best candidate possible had been chosen, and we all knew you deserved the honor.

We all loved you, Cedric. We still do.

Rest in peace.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Thank you, Hannah. _

_Cho Chang_

_----------------------------------_

_He should have lived..._

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------_

_Why Cedric? Why him? _

_Justin Finch-Fletchley_

_----------------------------------_

_I keep thinking he's still alive...that he'll burst through the door at any minute saying "Hey guys, sorry I'm late, what'd I miss?" And I keep staring at the door, but he never comes. _

_Susan Bones_

* * *

**It Wasn't Me**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

You probably know by now that Cedric Diggory is dead. Today, at the Leaving Feast, Dumbledore told us how.

It was YKW. The Dark Lord. He's back.

I wish Dumbledore had lied. I wish he hadn't wanted to make sure we didn't insult Cedric's memory by thinking it was some stupid accident and had just let us think that. I'd rather think Cedric had run into a basilisk or something than know the truth.

But I guess I would have found out anyway...Mom and Dad are probably pretty happy about it. Just like everyone else in Slytherin. They keep laughing and joking about how "now maybe he'll get rid of all those Mudbloods!"

I know I should be happy about it. Mom and Dad have always told me how he was--is, now--the greatest wizard who ever lived. But I've heard about the things he did. The things he did to sieze power. And he doesn't sound like the greatest wizard who ever lived. The most talented, maybe, but not the greatest.

I know what he'll expect them to do: run back to him. Will he ever expect me to do the same? To join him?

I'm scared. I'll admit it.

Terrified.

I just hope Mom and Dad don't notice.

* * *

**Uhhh...Here's My Blog**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

The Leaving Feast was today. The Hall was all hung in black--for Cedric.

Dumbledore explained what had happened. Or, at least, how Cedric died. YKW killed him. Yeah. He's back. I don't know how. Harry won't tell us, and I don't think I want to know.

When Dumbledore told us how he'd died, everyone gasped. I had already sort of known, but it still came as a shock. I mean, he was supposed to have been dead!

I looked over at the Slytherin table to see how everyone there felt about it, and they all looked pretty happy. Except for Malfoy. He paled a couple of shades and just stood there for a minute. Then he sort of sank into his seat when all the other Slytherins sat down, just...staring.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset that he's not thrilled about this. I guess I was just expecting him to be the happiest, not the most terrified.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Really? That's weird...cool...not cool, really, but it's not bad...you know what I mean. _

_Hermione Granger _

_------------------------------------_

_Yeah. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_I saw him too. He looked scared. _

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Subject: Goodbye**

As always, the blog will be down during the summer.

Remember what happened this year. Remember Cedric Diggory.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *


	59. Chapter 59

_Fourth year is now over and we move on to fifth year. This is where the story begins to get more AU. You've noticed already that Draco's characterization is different here than it was in the books; this is partly due to the fact that Hogwarts now has a blog. Listening to Muggle music (and becoming obsessed with it) convinced him that Muggles (and, by extension, Muggle-borns) aren't as stupid as everyone thinks they are. (Well, everyone in Slytherin, anyway.) The change in his character is also due to how I thought he _should _be portrayed. So this is a warning for all you die-hard purists out there who adore Nasty Draco: _his character is portrayed differently here and in that respect I won't be sticking too closely to canon. _But in every other respect, this book will stick to the plot, timeline, characters and events of _Order of the Phoenix. _And with that, we return to the story. _

* * *

**Subject: A New Year**

Can you believe today is the start of a new term already? The summer passed so quickly this year! I hope you all had a safe, restful summer and I look forward to seeing you all this year.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: Hello Students **

Hello, students. My name is Dolores Umbridge and I am _delighted_ to be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher! I know I have already articulated this year's goals in the Welcoming Feast, but I would like to take this opportunity to go through them once more:

This year, we will be taking a radically new and different approach to Defensive Magical Training. Progress simply for progress' sake must be discouraged, for that progress is progress without a purpose. And that, everyone, is a waste of time and resources. We must prune all practices we find that ought to be prohibited, in order to create a safe and effective course for everyone. Now, you may find that this new approach is less than enjoyable. You may find you prefer the old way--stumbling around in the dark, learning from a slapdash syllabus and teachers who think effectiveness means teaching you whatever countercurses they like best, but let me assure you that the old way is gone. The new way has come and it is much more streamlined, efficient, safe and effective. What we want isn't always good for us, and this course is for your own good.

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge **

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born Prefect**

**_Hermione Granger_**

Yep. As the new title of my blog suggests, I am now one of Gryffindor's two prefects. I can't believe it! The badge looks really cool, too--red with a G and a lion.

But our new DADA teacher is NOT so cool. I listened to her speech at the Welcoming Feast, where she talked about how "progress for progress' sake must be discouraged," but I didn't need to. She posted the whole thing on the blog. The whole damn thing. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to DADA this year.

Why couldn't Dumbledore rehire Professor Moody? Harry told us he was a fake, but why not hire the REAL Moody? If the real Moody is half as good a teacher as the fake one was (and I'm sure he's better), then he'd be a great teacher.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I have a feeling this is going to be a loooooong year..._

_Harry Potter_

* * *

**Holy Crap! I'm a Prefect! **

**_Ronald Weasley_**

Yeah. I'm a prefect. Sort of surprised me too--I was expecting Harry to get it.

Being a prefect's okay. I never realized how short the first years are. I swear they get smaller every year.

The only bad thing about being a prefect is that prefects have their own compartment on the Express and they have to wander around the train, making sure everyone behaves. I'd much rather be sitting with Harry and Ginny, getting yelled at by a prefect than be the one doing the yelling. (Unless, of course, Dumbledore decided to give Gryffindor three prefects and made Harry one...holy crap, that'd be cool!)

* * *

**Comments: **

_That'd be awesome! _

_Harry Potter _

_--------------------------------------_

_I think two is plenty..._

_Hermione Granger_

_------------------------------------_

_But Mione! Picture it! You, me and Harry, all prefects! Wouldn't that be awesome? _

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------------_

_Mione? _

_Hermione Granger_

_-------------------------------------_

_You needed a nickname. HERmione takes too long to say and type. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------_

_It's just three extra letters..._

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------_

_Yeah, but I'm lazy. Besides, Mione is fun to say (and type!) Mione Mione Mione Mione..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_--------------------------------------_

_O...kay..._

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**It Wasn't Me**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Yep. You saw the badge, Myrtle. You're looking at one of two Slytherin prefects. How is it being a prefect? It's pretty fun. Kind of sucks, though, having to be the Express' watchdog, making sure all the stupid first years don't break any rules they don't know about yet...seriously! Some of them are kind of clueless. "Really? We're not supposed to put 38 decks of Exploding Snap cards together and drop them on the floor?! That's stupid!" OK, OK, I'm exaggerating. But only a little.

Yeah, I met the new DADA teacher. And I read her online speech--sort of. I kind of got bored halfway through and ran off to do something more interesting, like clean my toenails. I didn't listen to her when she made the same speech at the Welcoming Feast either. I was kind of lost in thought...What was I thinking about? Well, my internal monologue went something like this:

Is that the new DADA teacher? She's kind of huge. She looks like a toad. What's her name again? Why do I care? I'll just call her Toady Wartface. Or maybe Madame Toadhead. Or maybe Your Royal Hugeness. OH! OH! How about Holy Crap Lose Some Weight, Fatty! Wonder if she'd squash Millicent's cat if she sat on it. She probably would. Maybe she has already...that'd be nice. Then it'd stop bugging me 24/7. Guess I'll just have to wait 'til we get into the dorm to see...if Millicent's going "Here, kitty kitty kitty!" and Fatty has a tail...well, we'll know what happened...

* * *


	60. Chapter 60

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born Prefect**

**_Hermione Granger_**

Wow. Just...wow. That had to be, without a doubt, the most boring and utterly useless DADA lesson I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. We're not learning how to defend ourselves at all; we're learning the _theory _instead! Tell me, how will a "theory" protect you against YKW? Harry fought him last June and HE never used a "theory"! He used actual magic! If he'd used "theories," he wouldn't be alive right now!

* * *

**Comments: **_zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...huh? What? Oh, sorry, just talking about the class put me to sleep..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_-------------------------------------_

_Was I crying in there? Because that class bored me to tears. _

_Neville Longbottom _

_----------------------------------------_

_It just made me mad..._

_Harry Potter_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Well, after you left, she just kept right on going as if nothing had happened. And it got more and more boring. _

_Ronald Weasley_

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter_ **

Why is everyone at the Ministry so convinced YKW isn't really back?

I mean, I can understand why some students might not believe me, but the _Ministry_? When I tried to tell her the truth--that YKW is back--she gave me detention! AND she said that Cedric Diggory's death was "a tragic accident." IT WAS NOT!!!! IT WAS MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was there. I saw it happen. Cedric was _murdered_! He didn't just drop dead of his own accord!

I have a five-letter word that fits her to a tee.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Does it start with B and end with ITCH? _

_Fred and George Weasley_

_-------------------------------------------_

_Yes. As a matter of fact it does. _

_Harry Potter _

_---------------------------------------_

_I've never been more hopeful that the jinx rumor is true. _

_Hermione Granger_

_--------------------------------------_

_Jinx rumor? _

_Colin Creevey_

_--------------------------------------_

_They say that the DADA job is jinxed--that every teacher who takes the position can only stay there for a year before they're fired, killed, or otherwise incapacitated. _

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------------_

_Well, it looks like it is. Even Lupin only stayed for a year, and everyone liked him! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Even so, this is going to be a VERY long year. _

_Harry Potter _

* * *

**It Wasn't Me**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

Umbridge is HUGE.

Yeah, I had my first class with her today, and she's even huger than I thought she was. And up close, she REALLY looks like a toad. And she has this really high, squeaky voice that sounds like a cross between a banshee and nails against a chalkboard.

No, I don't like her, even though she seemed to like us. (She didn't give us hardly any homework, is what I mean.) There's just something about her I don't like--she REALLY likes rules and never lets anyone bend the more ridiculous ones (the way Snape does), and she does this annoying fake cough when she wants you to stop something. On top of all that, DADA is B-O-R-I-N-G! Seriously, _History of Magic _is exciting compared to that class!

* * *


	61. Chapter 61

**Subject: WEASLEYS!!! **

Take down the Caterwauling Charm, or its five hundred points from Gryffindor!

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Subject: Huh**

Good luck with that, Professor, since Gryffindor only has fifty-eight points right now...

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: TAKE IT DOWN!!!!!!! **

Then you'll have NEGATIVE House points! TAKE THE DAMN THING DOWN!!!!

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Subject: Okay, okay!**

It's down! Happy? Yeesh, what do you have against "Love Shack," anyway?

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

* * *

**Subject: For your information...**

I would have little against the song itself if it weren't for the fact that everyone hears it whenever they enter my classroom! My classroom is NOT a "love shack!"

**Posted by: Severus Snape**

* * *

**Subject: ...**

You can say THAT again.

**Posted by: Fred and George Weasley**

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle**

_**Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle**_

did u heer wat the weezleez did 2day?

they did anuthur caturwalling charm!

this tym, they mayd it so snayps room played luv shak evuree tym u went in!

so funnee!

lolz!

* * *

**Comments:**

_It was SO funny! Too bad Snape made them take it down..._

_Hannah Abbot_

_------------------------------_

_Genius. Absolute genius._

_Ronald Weasley_

_------------------------------_

_I laughed so hard I think I peed my pants a little..._

_Draco Malfoy_

* * *

I Wish I Wasn't Such A Klutz

**_Neville Longbottom _**

Umbridge got appointed Hogwarts High Inquisitor today. Or yesterday. I'm not sure which, and I don't think it really matters.

The article said she would have more power here. I don't know if that means she'll have more than a professor, but since it's Umbridge and now she has power...this cannot be good.

* * *

**Comments: **

_No, it can't. _

_Ronald Weasley_

_-----------------------------------_

_I hope they're not giving her TOO much power...she doesn't seem to like me much..._

_Colin Creevey_

_--------------------------------------_

_Yeah? Well I don't like HER much!_

_Parvati Patil _

_----------------------------------------_

_Me neither. _

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I think you already know I don't like her OR the idea of her being High Inquisitor...whatever that means. _

_Harry Potter _

_----------------------------------------_

_Can't Dumbledore fire her? _

_Colin Creevey_

_--------------------------------------_

_The Ministry probably made him hire her in the first place..._

_Harry Potter_

_----------------------------------------_

_And the article said that the Ministry would be getting more involved here at Hogwarts..._

_Hermione Granger_

_-----------------------------------------_

_THAT can't be good. _

_Colin Creevey_

_--------------------------------------------_

_No. It can't. _

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

**Subject: Muggle Music**

Hello, students. It's me, Professor and High Inquisitor Umbridge with an important announcement for everyone.

I have noticed that Muggle music has gained quite a following here at Hogwarts. Students listen to it almost constantly, passing enchanted copies of lyrics back and forth to each other, bewitching classroom doors so Muggle songs play when the door is opened. (Yes, Misters Weasley, I am thinking of the recent "Love Shack" incident.)

This obsession with Muggle music is incredibly disruptive to the educational process. Listening to music written by people you can never meet is not good psychologically, emotionally or mentally. We wizards keep to ourselves; Muggles should do the same. Listening to Muggle music only encourages further breaches of the Statute of Secrecy.

Therefore, Muggle music is hereby banned from Hogwarts. Offenders will serve detention at first, but then punishment will gradually move toward expulsion.

Listen to wizard music. The artists are more talented than those filthy Muggles, anyway.

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge**

* * *

**It Wasn't Me**

**_Draco Malfoy_**

She can't do this.

She just _can't_! It's not fair and it's not reasonable! It doesn't even make sense!

Seriously, Myrtle! I'd DIE without Muggle music! It's helped me pass finals the entire time I've been at Hogwarts! How will I survive without Guns N Roses? Or Relient K? Or Metallica, or Within Temptation or the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Soundgarden or Nirvana or...what do you mean, do something about it? Yeah, I've been learning how to make websites over the summer, but if I made a proxy, she'd find it, wouldn't she? Well, yeah, I could make it so she doesn't find it, but...wait, what am I DOING? Why am I trying to make excuses NOT to go against the Umbitch? (Yeah, that's whatI call her. Fits, doesn't it?)

OK, Myrtle. I'll make a proxy. I'll get my Muggle music if it kills me.

* * *

_A big thanks to Schermione for suggesting the song "Love Shack" for one of the Weasley Twins' famous Caterwauling Charms. _


	62. Chapter 62

_I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. When I started this story, I never thought it'd get over 500 reviews, but it did! So thanks for keeping this story afloat. _

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter_**

Umbridge banned Muggle music. Can you believe that?

Her excuse was "Listening to music by artists you'll never be able to meet can't be good for your mental health." Or something like that. Every time I read her blog posts or listen to one of her supernaturally boring speeches, my eyes glaze over and my brain freezes up and I go temporarally deaf.

Either way, her excuse is LAME! Does she _really _expect me to meet the Weird Sisters anytime soon?

* * *

**Comments: **

_I agree. The chances of me meeting the Weird Sisters face-to-face are about as good as are my chances of meeting Green Day face-to-face. Her argument is moot. _

_Hermione Granger _

_------------------------------------------_

_It's so stupid! I LOVE Relient K and now I can't listen to them at school anymore?!_

_Colin Creevey_

_-----------------------------------------_

_I know! Damn it, I was really starting to like Guns N Roses..._

_Ronald Weasley_

_----------------------------------------_

_Hey...we heard a rumor that somebody found a way to bypass the school web filters...(tell your friends about this comment because we're deleting it in about 15 minutes)_

_Fred and George Weasley_

* * *

**Subject: Personal Blogs**

It has come to my attention that this school offers the opportunity for students to divulge their personal lives through personal blogs. Even with privacy settings, this has the effect of shouting all your secrets from the rooftops.

In light of this fact, a new rule has been made. It is now against school rules to make your blog private. All personal blogs and IM conversations must be public.

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge**

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**Subject: Down with the Umbitch! **

Yeah, I can say stuff like that on here. Know why? Because the Umbitch doesn't know about this blog! Sucker!

All right, before you start posting, here are a few rules:

1. NEVER breathe a word of this to anyone who might possibly tell Fatty. If Umbitch gets wind of this, I'll shut down the blog permanently.

2. Make sure your username COMPLETELY hides your identity. In order for this blog to work, it has to remain TOTALLY anonymous.

3. Blogs are as private as you want. I won't break into them. If I do, a friend of mine will tell you who I am and you can break my pinkies.

4. Insult Umbridge. (For those of you who haven't caught on yet, two of my nicknames for her are Umbitch and Fatty. Make up your own, if you like.)

5. Don't talk about this blog. I know I already said that, but I'm saying it twice because it's twice as important as the other rules.

So...yeah. Those are the rules. By the way, this site hasa proxy search engine thingy so you can listen to as much Muggle music as you want without alerting the Umbitch!

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: Finally! **

We've been hoping somebody would do something like this...but we couldn't quite figure it out. Oh well. Sweet site, by the way.

**Posted by: Gorkyshlorky and Fervenugen **

Subject: Are you sure?

How do you know she won't find it, though?

**Posted by: Goo Goo Dolls 4Ever**

* * *

**Subject: Because...**

It's on a proxy server thing, and those things are hidden from regular servers. When you're logged on to this site and Umbridge is monitoring, she can't see what you're doing. Right now, we're all (essentially) invisible.

Besides, she doesn't know. And what she doesn't know CAN hurt her.

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

**The Invisible Man**

_**You Can Call Me E**_

Yep. The site's up! How doesit look, Myrtle? Good? Thanks! Yeah, the Umbitch won't find it. Thanks for telling the other ghosts, by the way. You're SURE they won't tell Umbridge? OK, good. Yeah, you're the "friend" I was talking about. Well, thanks. Glad you wouldn't want to see anyone break my pinkies.

This is gonna be so cool!

* * *

_Here's a quick guide to the usernames in this chapter: _

_You Can Call Me E: Draco Malfoy_

_Gorkyshlorky: George Weasley_

_Fervenugen: Fred Weasley_

_Goo Goo Dolls 4Ever: Hermione Granger _

_Harry and Ron will appear in the next chapter. _

_Oh, and I'm not an expert with internet proxy server things, so I just kind of made it up. If I got it wrong, please don't sue me. _


	63. Chapter 63

* * *

**Subejct: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four**

For those of you who haven't paid much attention to the bulletin board lately, I am posting it here. 

All student organizations, societies, teams, groups and clubs are henceforth disbanded. An organization, society, team, group or club is defined as a regular meeting of three or more students. Permission to reform may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge). 

No student organization, society, team, group or club may exist without the knowledge and approval of the High Inquisitor. Any student found to have formed, or belong to, an organizatin,society, team, group or club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled. 

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree number Twenty-Four. 

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge **

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Did you read that Educational Decree thingy? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **You mean the "educational" decree? Yeah. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **This is so stupid! 

**EaterOfPie: **I know! She's trying to control us in any way possible...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **She's turning Hogwarts into a dictatorship. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Thatis one fat dictator. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **LOL! 

**EaterOfPie: **She IS really huge...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Well, you know what the Muggles say...

**YouCanCallMeE:** No. I don't. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **It's not over until the fat lady sings. 

**EaterOfPie: **I don't think the Umbitch knows any good tunes...

**YouCanCallMeE: **And if she sang them, she'd probably make Avril Lavigne sound like Sharon den Adel. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Who's Sharon den Adel? 

**EaterOfPie:**What GGD4E said. 

**YouCanCallMeE:** Lead singer for Within Temptation. 

**EaterOfPie: **Ah. I don't listen to WT much...

**Confuzzled**: Hey guys...just found this site...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah? How do you like it? 

**Confuzzled: **It's great! 

**YouCanCallMeE:** Thanks. 

**EaterOfPie: **Anywhere the Umbitch isn't is next to heaven in my book...

* * *

**Subject: Personal Blogs**

Although the announcement regarding personal blogs was made several days ago, few have actually removed the privacy settings on their blogs. This is not good. 

Anyone who does not have their blogs publicized within two weeks will be expelled. 

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge**

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Did you see the announcment? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **YES! Gr...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **What should I do? 

**EaterOfPie: **Maybe just delete it...

**YouCanCallMeE: **I think that'd make her even more suspicious...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Any ideas, then? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **I've just been going back and editing all my posts that have incriminating stuff in them...

**Confuzzled: **That's what I've been doing, too. It doesn't say that you edited it, either. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Really? Great! I'd better go edit then...

* * *

_More usernames: _

_MeAgainstTheWorld: Harry Potter_

_EaterOfPie: Ronald Weasley_

_Confuzzled: Neville Longbottom _


	64. Chapter 64

* * *

**ProudPureblood: **Hey Pansy. 

**PrettyPansy: **hay draco. wats up? 

**ProudPureblood: **Not much. You? 

**PrettyPansy: **just studying. 

**ProudPureblood: **Sounds boring. 

**PrettyPansy: **it is. i need an e-hug. 

**ProudPureblood: **OK. E-hug! 

**PrettyPansy: **:D 

**HogwartsHighInquisitor: **NO PDA!

**PrettyPansy: **huh?

**ProudPureblood:** What's a PDA? 

**HogwartsHighInquisitor: **PDA stands forPublic Display of Affection, and they are NOT allowed here!

**PrettyPansy:** but...it was just an e-hug...

**ProudPureblood: **And it's the INTERNET! Nobody can see it! 

**HogwartsHighInquisitor: **Need I remindyou that your accounts are now public? People can indeed see whatyou're doing! 

**ProudPureblood: **But...never mind. 

**HogwartsHighInquisitor: **That's more like it. 

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**YouCanCallMeE: **No PDA! On the INTERNET! Can you believe that? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Knowing Umbridge? Yes. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **It's so stupid...

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah. 

**EagleEyes: **No PDA, hm? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **That's right. No PDA. 

**EagleEyes: **(starts dancing around)

**HorseLuver14: **(starts dancing around too)

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey! You heard Umbridge! No people dancing around! 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **ROFL! 

**Confuzzled: **...Did I miss something? 

**HorseLuver14: **Yes. Yes you did. 

**Confuzzled: **I thought so...

* * *

_More usernames: _

_EagleEyes: Luna Lovegood_

_HorseLuver14: Genevra Weasley_


	65. Chapter 65

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Ugh...did you see the Slytherin badges? 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yes...can't believe they'd do something like that...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Well I do. It's Slytherin, remember? 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Oh. Right. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **What're you talking about? 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Those "Weasley is our King" badges all the Slytherins were wearing. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **What about them? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **They're MEAN!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Wreaking the Gryffindor Keeper's confidence before he even gets onto the pitch...that's pretty low. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **You know who's probably behind it, too. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Who? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Malfoy. Who else? 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Wouldn't put it past him. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Why not? He can't be that bad. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Have you ever MET the guy? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **He's not in my House, no...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **He's not in mine, either, but everyone knows about him, I'm sure. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **His reputation kind of precedes him. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **I haven't really seen him much...what's he like?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Mean. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Rude. The most egotistical and self-absorbed person you'll ever meet. 

**EaterOfPie: **I'd call him...oh, what's the term I'm looking for...oh, that's right! A conniving bastard. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He's always harping on blood status--as if anyone cares. 

**EaterOfPie: **I sure don't. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Sounds like a jerk. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He is. And now that he's a prefect...

**EaterOfPie: **You're lucky you've never met him. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **I've heard he's been acting nicer this year, though...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **A little bit, I'll give him that. But it's probably all an act. 

* * *

**Gorkyshlorky: **Hey guys! 

**EaterOfPie: **Hey!

**Fervenugen: **Anyone seen E? 

**EaterOfPie: **He hasn't been on the past few days...why? 

**Fervenugen: **'Cuz he's a fun guy and we wanted to talk to him. 

**Gorkyshlorky: **You know, BS about Umbitch, Muggle music, that sort of thing...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah, I haven't seen him, either. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I hope he gets on soon...he's really funny.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E_**

Yeah. I'm back. Though I can't explain why.

I considered deleting the blog after that conversation I had with MATW, EOP, and GGD4E, but then I decided it wasn't worth it. It'd take too long to get another proxy up and tell everyone about it, and then I'd have to explain why I took it down and started over. 

I've been thinking these past few days about what they said--about me being a conniving bastard who's always harping on blood status--and I hate to admit it, but they're right. I may not _be _a conniving bastard, but at the very least I look and act like one. 

I don't know why. Now that I think about it, blood statusisn't that big a deal for me. Dad treated it like a big deal, and so did everyone else in Slytherin, but I mean, what's the point? More importantly, why do _I _treat it like a big deal if that's not what it is? 

It's all so confusing.

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey guys! I'm back. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Woot! 

**EaterOfPie: **Where've you been? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **I got busy. You know, OWLS at the end of the year and stuff. 

**Fervenugen:** Oh yeah. OWLS suck. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **So I've heard. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Anyone notice Malfoy lately? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah...is something wrong with him? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **What do you mean? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He's been acting nicer. Hermione Granger told me he hasn't tormented her for being Muggle-born for the past week. 

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah, it's really weird...

**EaterOfPie: **Not that I'm complaining, mind you. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah, it's really nice! 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Maybe he decided to be a better person. 

**EaterOfPie: **Fat chance. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **You never know. People change.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E_**

I have a new strategy: Act like E.(That's who I am on here.)

People like E. So if I act like E, they'll like me. 

It seems to be working. 

* * *

_To all of you who are wondering why Hermione spoke about herself in third person: It's so nobody will figure out who she is. Remember on the first day of the blog, when Draco told everyone that the blog had to remain completely anonymous? She's just taking his advice. _


	66. Chapter 66

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**Subject: The Other Blog **

Be sure to post on the other blog--you know, the one Umbitch is watching--more often. She's starting to get suspicious. 

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Ugh...any idea what to post? 

**EaterOfPie: **On the other blog? No. 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **What is there to post--besides "Some guy named E started a proxy that Umbridge can't see and we mock her all day long!" 

**EaterOfPie: **lol! Well, you could post...I dunno...just random crap? 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Random crap works. 

* * *

**Thoughts From...Me**

**_Harry Potter _**

At least we Gryffindors got permission to reform our team. That's a good thing. 

Potions class isn't getting any easier. And now Umbridge has started sitting in on all our classes, spying onour teachers to make sure they're doinga good job. Trelawney is on probation. 

* * *

**Comments: **

_I hope she doesn't get fired. She's really nice. _

_Parvati Patil_

_Yeah...Potions is just getting tougher. I've never been good at it. _

_Neville Longbottom _

_Well, you don't HAVE to go onto NEWT level, if that's not what you're good at. You can just do something else. _

_Hermione Granger_

_Mr. Longbottom should apply himself more if he wants to succeed._

_As for "Professor"__Trelawney, her teaching status is seriously in question. _

_Dolores Umbridge _

* * *

**I Wish I Wasn't Such A Klutz**

**_Neville Longbottom_**

Professor Umbridge said I should apply myself more in Potions. Implying, of course, that I'm NOT applying myself, which is a LIE! I apply myself every stinkin' day in that class and I STILL DON'T GET IT! 

I'm just not that good at Potions. It's not my thing. 

* * *

**Comments:**

_You'll find your "thing" eventually. You're good at Herbology. _

_Harry Potter_

_Yeah, you're the best herbologist in our year! _

_Ronald Weasley_

_I don't care if it's not your "thing." You need to stop being lazy and apply yourself in Potions! Assuming, of course, that you want to pursue a more prestigious career than Muggle Relations... _

_Dolores Umbridge_

* * *

**Ramblings of a Muggle-Born Prefect**

**_Hermione Granger_**

Professor Umbridge was harping on Neville today over the blog. Well, _on _the blog, really. She was telling him that he should "stop being lazy" and "apply himself in Potions". 

He DOES. He applies himself every day. I watch him. 

* * *

**Comments:**

_Obviously not, or else his grades would be far different from what they are now. _

_Dolores Umbridge_

_You checked my grades? _

_Neville Longbottom_

_Oh, dear, everyone knows your grades. All of the teachers, anyway. It's no secret that you're failing Potions. _

_Dolores Umbridge_

_Uh...nobody knew that before you told us. _

_Draco Malfoy_

_Oh, but now EVERYONE knows because Malfoy knows, too! _

_Neville Longbottom_

_...I wasn't planning on telling anyone..._

_Draco Malfoy_

* * *

**Holy Crap! I'm a Prefect!**

**_Ronald Weasley_**

It's either a miracle or a sign of the apocalypse. 

Draco Malfoy found another thing to tease Neville about..._and he didn't tell anyone! _

It's been several days, and no one who didn't read Umbridge's comments has said anything. So I'm assuming they don't know. 

* * *

**Comments:**

_Told you. _

_Draco Malfoy_

* * *

_Remember: Draco is trying to be a better person. That's why he's not being mean. _


	67. Chapter 67

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Either Malfoy is sick, or he got bit by some sort of happy bug...

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah...it's weird. Again, not complaining, just commenting. 

**Confuzzled: **He didn't tell any of his cronies about Neville Longbottom's Potions grade! 

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Like I said...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I hope it lasts. 

**FearAndFaith: **I've noticed a change in him, too...I fully expected the entire school to know about Mr. Longbottom's grade by now. 

**Confuzzled: **But nobody does! Just the people who read the blog and Umbitch! 

**FearAndFaith: **Umbitch? 

**EaterOfPie: **Our nickname for Umbridge. Fits, doesn't it? 

**FearAndFaith: **Irked as I am that you would show that kind of disrespect toward a teacher, I must admit that Umbridge deserves it. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Wait...you're not Umbridge, are you? 

**FearAndFaith: **Of course not! If I were Umbridge, this blog would've been shut down already and you would all be expelled. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **But...she doesn't know who any of us are...

**FearAndFaith:** She would find out. 

**Confuzzled: **Are you a teacher? 

**FearAndFaith: **Why do you ask? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **You ARE a teacher! 

**FearAndFaith: **(sighs) Yes, I'm a teacher. But don't panic. I have no idea who any of you are. 

**Confuzzled: **How'd you find out about this site? 

**FearAndFaith: **One of the ghosts told me. 

**EaterOfPie: **So...the same way we found out? 

**FearAndFaith: **Yes. You're not the only ones who dislike Umbridge. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey guys...what's up? 

**Confuzzled: **A teacher found this site. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Really? What teacher? 

**FearAndFaith: **Can't say. You're the one who recommended anonymity, after all. 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Damn. 

**FearAndFaith: **Don't curse! 

**YouCanCallMeE: **Why not? Damn damn damn damn...

**FearAndFaith: **(sighs) 

**YouCanCallMeE: **I didn't put up profanity filters for a reason. 

**FearAndFaith: **And that reason would be...? 

**YouCanCallMeE: **So we can call Umbridge Umbitch and not get bleeped by the site.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **LOL! 

* * *

**Subject: Christmas**

Feel free to post over Christmas break, everyone. I'll get on as often as I can, but don't count on me being online every day. So 'til then, have a fabulous Umbitch-free Christmas! 

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

_FearAndFaith: Minerva McGonagall _

_Reason behind her username: "Courage is born where faith and fear collide." And since she's head of Gryffindor, it seemed to fit. _


	68. Chapter 68

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

* * *

**I am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

Gran and I went to visit my parents today.

St. Mungo's was pretty much the same as usual--the paintings of past Healers, everyone running around, the cafe on the top floor--just a little more annoying now that Lockhart is there. I never thought he could get more annoying than he was when he taught at Hogwarts, but I guess I was wrong. Now that he's lost his memory, he's even more annoying.

When we got there, though, Lockhart didn't accost me like he usually does. He was too busy talking with Harry, Ron and Hermione. I just kind of slipped past them so I could visit with Mom and Dad.

Neither of them said much of anything--they never do. I just kind of said "Hi" and "Merrry Christmas" and stuff like that. I smiled a lot, since the Healers and Gran say it helps them feel less intimidated.

Just before we left, Gran gave me a mini-lecture about being ashamed of them. The only thing is, I'm NOT ashamed of them. I really admire what they did...I just wish they hadn't done it. Not that I wish they'd told Bellatrix Lestrange and all the others where the Potters were...it's just...Ugh! I don't _know _what I wish! I guess I just wish they were sane. No, better yet, no YKW. Then my parents would be sane and we wouldn't have to worry because he's back because he wouldn't be able to come back because he never existed!

I wish I had a Time-Turner.

* * *

**This Is My Life **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4Ever _**

Mr. Weasley is still in St. Mungo's, but it looks like he's going to be okay. They tried Muggle stitches on him, but they didn't work.

The whole hospital is weird, but pretty cool. Nothing like Muggle hospitals. For one thing, Muggle hospitals don't have talking portraits of past Healers (wizards call doctors Healers). And doctors don't have to deal with patients whose shoes are eating their feet.

We saw Neville's parents...I had no idea! Poor guy! I wanted to say something to him, but didn't know what...and he left too quickly. I guess it's best I didn't say anything.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I hate YKW.

I hate him and I haven't even met him.

I guess he's the kind of guy you don't have to meet to know you hate.

He's all my parents talk about. Dad's so thrilled he's back you'd think he just won the biggest lottery of the year, complete with an all-expense paid trip to the US. (Mom's always wanted to go there.) Ever since I got home, it's been Dark Lord this and Dark Lord that and blah di blah greatest wizard who ever lived and blah di blah it's an honor to follow him...

I wish they'd just shut up about it.

* * *

_I'll post more Christmas vacation updates later. Oh, and in case you're wondering why they're talking so freely on their blogs, it's because Draco said he wouldn't break into them and he's kept his promise. So they all just made their Invisible Blogs completely private. _


	69. Chapter 69

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

I don't know why, but I like that song. "When the world gets in my face...I say have a nice day!" So sarcastic.

Snape is going to give me Occlumency lessons, but he told me to tell everyone I'm taking remedial Potions. Huh. Wonder what Malfoy will have to say about THAT. Nothing nice, I'm sure...

I am REALLY not looking forward to it. Right now, the idea of taking private lessons from Snape seems about as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. Yeah. Ouch.

* * *

**Confuzzled: **Ugh...just a few more days before we have to go back to school...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **School isn't THAT bad.

**Confuzzled:** Potions is.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Ugh! I hate Potions!

**Confuzzled:** Isn't it awful? I don't get it at all.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **I get it, but I don't really like it.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Really? How can you not like Potions?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Snape's mean.

**Confuzzled: **He's evil!

**YouCanCallMeE: **He's not that bad.

**Confuzzled: **Yes he is!

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He's really mean to students he doesn't like...

**YouCanCallMeE: **He's nicer if you're doing OK in that class.

**Confuzzled: **I guess I'm doomed, then...I am NOT doing well in there.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Really? It's one of the easiest classes ever! Unlike Herbology...

**Confuzzled: **What's wrong with Herbology?

**YouCanCallMeE: **It's HARD, that's what's wrong with it!

**Confuzzled: **No it's not!

**YouCanCallMeE: **I don't get it...

**Confuzzled:** It's easy! And fun.

**YouCanCallMeE:** No it's not...wait a second...

**Confuzzled: **What?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey...if I tutored you online in Potions, would you do the same for me in Herbology?

**Confuzzled: **Yeah! That'd be great!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Sweet! What time works for you?

**Confuzzled: **Ummm...after classes, I guess...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Cool! Ok, then...after classes sometime, then...

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

It looks like Dad is going to be OK. They're working on healing the wound that snake gave him, but it looks like he'll recover. Which is good. Even if he doesn't recover right away, at least he'll recover.

I'm so glad Harry saw what happened...weird as it is that he can read YKW's mind, at least it saved Dad.

_For everyone who's wondering why all the characters are being so open on their blogs: It's because Draco promised he wouldn't break into them and he kept his word, so they all just made their Invisible Blogs completely private. That's why there weren't any comments on any of them. _


	70. Chapter 70

_I don't know whether to be amused or disturbed that you're all so excited to see Voldemort post on the blog...but like I promised, here he is. _

**Subject: Hello, Hogwarts **

This is the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and whatever other ridiculously long name you've devised for me. None of them change who I am--Lord Voldemort.

How did I get onto this blog, you ask? Well, once Lucious gave me the parental password, it was quite simple. Really, Dumbledore, you should have tighter security around this blog. For someone so adamant about protecting your students, you're rather lax about security.

Hello, Harry Potter. If you're reading this, I still hate you and I still want you dead. Rest assured I will get my wish.

Oh, and hello to you too, Dolores Umbridge! In case you were wondering, I really _do _exist. But I do appreciate your telling everyone I don't. It makes my job that much easier.

I suppose I should end this post, delightful as it's been. Just remember: If you're not for me, you're dead.

Sincerely,

The Dark Lord Voldemort

**Posted by: Lord Voldemort **

* * *

**Subject: Security**

Sorry the blog was down for so long, everyone. I had to update security to block Voldemort from the blog, and it took longer than I thought. Rest assured he will NOT be returning to this blog.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore**

* * *

**Subject: Useless**

I don't see why you're so upset about this, Dumbledore. It was all just a silly prank, you know that.

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge **

* * *

**Subject: THAT WAS REAL!!**

It wasn't a prank! IT WAS REAL!! Why would anyone log on as Voldemort and say they're going to kill me? Hm?

**Posted by: Harry Potter **

* * *

**Subject: Mr. Potter...**

Stop spreading lies, Mr. Potter. It was a prank and you know it.

**Posted by: Dolores Umbridge **

* * *

**Subject: Umm...Professor? **

You have to submit all display and IM names to Dumbledore for approval if it's not your real name. Besides, it identifies you by your wand, so the only person it COULD be is YKW.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *

**Subject: Did you...? **

Malfoy? Did you just defend Harry?

**Posted by: Hermione Granger**

* * *

**Subject: Well...**

Well, I happen to agree with Potter on this one.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy**

* * *


	71. Chapter 71

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

_**Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle **_

ges wat?

u no hoo postid on th blog!

ya.

he sed hez going 2 kil potter.

and he sed dumbuldoor wuz an ideeut.

wel, not ekzaktlee.

butt thats wat he ment.

weerd.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Of COURSE it was weird! More than weird! THE DARK LORD POSTED ON THE BLOG!! _

_Draco Malfoy_

_YOU can act all nonchalant about it...He didn't say anything about killing YOU!!_

_Harry Potter _

_wat duz nonchalant meen? _

_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_Casual. Like you don't care. Which you don't. _

_Harry Potter _

_How many times do I have to tell you? It was NOT He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! It was a student playing a prank. _

_Dolores Umbridge _

_I reiterate my aforementioned arguments here:  
1. The blog IDs you by your wand.  
2. All usernames that aren't your real name have to be submitted to Dumbledore for approval.  
3. Why the hell would anyone at this school pretend to be YKW?! Nobody here even likes him! _

_Draco Malfoy _

_Your third argument wasn't mentioned before. _

_Dolores Umbridge_

_So? You can't tear down an entire argument just because I added one measley sentence! _

_Draco Malfoy_

_Mr. Malfoy, would you like to recieve detention and lose your place on the Inquisitorial Squad?_

_Dolores Umbridge _

* * *

**Subject: A Present for Everyone**

Hello, everyone at Hogwarts! It's me, Bellatrix Lestrange! I honestly can't think of much to say at this momentous occasion--except for this. To celebrate the fact that my master is back...E-Crucios for everyone!

**Posted by: Bellatrix Lestrange **

* * *

**Subject: Unforgiveable Curses and the Internet **

Sorry the blog was down again. If you've been reading the blog lately, you can guess why. We had to update security again to block all known followers of Voldemort from the blog.

On that note, I would like to inform you all that there is no such thing as an E-Crucio. It is impossible to send Unforgiveable Curses through the Internet. You cannot be tortured just by reading a blog post.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

* * *


	72. Chapter 72

_I don't know how much I'll be able to update over the next few weeks, since I'll be going on vacation for spring break. I'll try and get a few more chapters up today and tomorrow before we leave. _

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility **

**Confuzzled: **HOLY CRAP!!

**YouCanCallMeE: **I KNOW! I can't believe she posted on the blog!

**Confuzzled: **As if EXISTING wasn't bad enough, now she has to escape from Azkaban AND freak everyone out with her stupid "e-Crucios!"

**Fervenugen**: You talking about Bellatrix Lestrange posting on the blog?

**Confuzzled: **What else?!

**Fervenugen: **At least Dumbledore got her blocked.

**Confuzzled: **He didn't catch her, though!

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I heard that they got on without taking down the anti-tracing spells, so Dumbledore can't find out where they are.

**YouCanCallMeE: **That's stupid!

**Confuzzled: **Didn't YKW say something about getting the parental password from Lucius Malfoy, though?

**YouCanCallMeE: **That doesn't mean he's at Malfoy Manor...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **E has a point. They could be anywhere.

**Fervenugen: **Behind you, for example.

**YouCanCallMeE: **NOT FUNNY!

**Confuzzled: **What E said!

**Fervenugen: **Just trying to lighten the mood a little...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **That was a really mean thing they did, posting on the blog like that...Neville Longbottom is really upset.

**Confuzzled: **Yeah. With good reason!

**YouCanCallMeE: **So is Draco Malfoy, I heard.

**EaterOfPie: **Really? Malfoy is upset that YKW posted on the blog?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah.

**Confuzzled: **Yeah, I saw him. He doesn't look so good.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Speaking of Malfoy, did you guys hear about the Inquisitorial Squad?

**EaterOfPie: **YES! It's so unfair!

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Isn't it?! They can take away points, too!

**Confuzzled:** Grrr...you realize that every house but Slytherin will have a grand total of zero points by the time the year is over?

**EaterOfPie: **Yes...grr...and it's ALL Slytherins, too.

**YouCanCallMeE: **I heard Malfoy is thinking about quitting, though...

**Confuzzled: **Quitting? You mean quitting the Inquisitorial Squad?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **When did you hear THAT?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just now...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I'd be really surprised if he did.

**Confuzzled: **Is it too much to hope for?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Probably.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day**

**_Me Against the World _**

YKW posted on the blog. So did Bellatrix Lestrange--the lady who tortured Neville's parents. I don't have much to say there, except for that I'm REALLY freaked out now. I know Dumbledore said he's blocked them, but still...

I hope it works.

* * *

**I am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled_**

Bellatrix Lestrange posted on the blog. _Bellatrix Lestrange! _I can't believe she did that! As if torturing my parents wasn't enough, now she has to get on the blog and rub it in my face with her stupid "e-Crucios" which don't even work, but how was I to know that?

I hate that woman.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E _**

While everyone else is freaked out that Bellatrix Lestrange and YKW posted on the blog, I'm freaked out that my aunt and the Dark Lord posted on the blog. That doesn't mean I'm any less freaked out--if anything, I'm more freaked out than anyone--but it's weird on top of that. I mean, one of the most notorious people in the wizarding world is my aunt.

I hope this will all just blow over...

* * *


	73. Chapter 73

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Oopsies.

In Occlumency, I think I accidentally told Snape, not only about the Invisible Blog of Invisibility, but this week's password AND all of E's new security measures he put up since YKW posted on the other blog. In other words, I think I just accidentally told Snape how to get onto the Invisible Blog.

I hope he doesn't tell Umbridge...

* * *

**EnterSandman: **Anyone on?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I am.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Me too.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Ello!

**EaterOfPie: **Oohh...another newbie?

**EnterSandman: **I believe that's what I am, yes.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Cool site, huh?

**EnterSandman: **Very cool.

**YouCanCallMeE: **You're a Metallica fan, aren't you?

**EnterSandman: **Yes.

**YouCanCallMeE: **SWEET!

**HorseLuver14: **E likes Metallica...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Exit light! Enter night! Take my hand! We're off to never-never land!

**EnterSandman: **I can see that...

**EnterSandman: **So why did you start this blog, E?

**YouCanCallMeE: **to have a blog that was completely Umbitch-free.

**EnterSandman: **By Umbitch you mean Umbridge, correct?

**HorseLuver14: **Who else?

**EnterSandman: **Hmmm...Umbitch...it fits.

* * *

**Never Mind that Noise You Heard **

**_Enter Sandman _**

I don't know who started this blog, but I'm grateful to whoever did. It's brilliant. Genius, even.

Discovering it was nothing more than a fortunate accident, really. Harry Potter isn't that good at Occlumency, and I happened upon the information regarding this blog while teaching him. I didn't discover his username, but I suppose it's better this way. E--the kind soul who started this site--said anonymity is crucial, and I intend to abide by that rule.

Any blog that is away from Umbridge's prying eyes has my full support.

* * *

_EnterSandman: Severus Snape _

_Turns out I WILL be able to update this week because our trip was cancelled. Grr...stupid snow..._


	74. Chapter 74

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

* * *

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Did you hear about Dumbledore?

**YouCanCallMeE: **YES! I can't believe Umbitch is in charge now!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah...it's so stupid!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Grrr...

**HorseLuver14: **Wonder what Hogwarts will be like now?

**EaterOfPie: **Horrible. That's what it'll be like.

**

* * *

**

**I Like Pie **

_**Eater of Pie **_

The DA got stormed today. Umbitch found out about it because someone told. One of Cho Chang's friends, apparently. Grr...

Oddly enough, it wasn't Malfoy waiting outside to trip us up and get us in trouble. Some of his cronies were there, but he wasn't. E said it's because he was sick, but still. You'd think he wouldn't miss something like that for the world. He could have spattergroit and still be standing out there, waiting--but he wasn't.

Either way, the DA is pretty much over.

**

* * *

**

Let Love In

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

The weirdest thing happened today.

I was just walking down the hall, innocent as you please, when who should happen along but Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson, aka the Inquisitorial Squad. I glared--which turned out to be a bad idea. Pansy subtracted five points for that, another five for my blood status, eight because my hair is "too bushy" (as if I need to be reminded of that) and three because she just plain doesn't like me. I started to say something, but didn't want any more points taken away. She walked off with this incredibly annoying smirk on her face, but Malfoy hung back for some reason. He stared after Pansy for a minute, then looked at me with this really guilty look on his face.

"Take 'em all back," he said, then ran off after Pansy. Sure enough, all twenty-one points were added back.

I've told Harry and Ron about the incident. They're not sure what to think about it, either.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I've been looking for a good way to quit the Inquisitorial Squad without making Umbitch suspicious about going behind her back. I mean, the whole reason she gave me a spot on the Squad is because she didn't think I'd do something like this--the blog, I mean. Gr...I wish she hadn't offered in the first place...because NOT accepting would have made her suspicious, so I didn't really have a choice but to accept. Now everyone on the blog hates me--without knowing they're insulting me to my face--and even though I've explained the whole thing to Myrtle, she's still been pressuring me to quit.

In the meantime, I've been trying to undo the damage the other Squad members have been causing. I think I gave Hermione Granger a heart attack the other day when I returned all the points Pansy subtracted. The look on her face was PRICELESS.

* * *

**When Faith and Fear Collide **

**_Faith and Fear _**

I've begun calling Umbridge "Umbitch" both in my thoughts and on this blog. Today I almost called her that to her face.

She's decided that all fifth-year students must talk to their Heads of House about career options. As if it's fair and reasonable to make them decide at fifteen what they'll do for the rest of their lives. However, some of them seem quite certain of themselves. Fred and George Weasley plan to start a joke shop, and Harry Potter wants to be an Auror. During his interview I desperately wanted to strangle the Umbitch.

When Harry announced he wanted to become an Auror, Umbitch began throwing out all sorts of reasons why he couldn't pursue that career path--he wasn't smart enough, it might be too much for him, his grades weren't good enough--until I wanted to wring her stupid toadlike neck. I told Harry I would make him an Auror if it's the last thing I do--and I intend to do so.

* * *

**Gorkyshlorky: **Guess who got kicked out of the Inquisitorial Squad?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Who?

**EaterOfPie: **Crabbe and Goyle, 'cuz they're so dumb?

**Fervenugen: **Nope. Draco Malfoy!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **MALFOY got kicked out of the Inquisitorial Squad?

**YouCanCallMeE: **That he did. :D

**Confuzzled: **Wow...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Is it true? This isn't just some trick from Umbitch?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Nope. He got kicked out, fair and square.

**EaterOfPie: **Why?

**YouCanCallMeE: **If you asked him, I'm sure he'd tell you.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Are you kidding? He'd kill me!

**EaterOfPie: **Umm...

**Confuzzled: **Umm...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **No.

* * *

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Malfoy?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yes, Granger?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Hi.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hi.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **So...I was wondering...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Why did I get kicked out of the Inquisitorial Squad?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Yeah. Umbridge isn't watching this convo, is she?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **I found a way to bypass her security by making it look like we're talking about something else. If she's monitoring this convo, she thinks I'm giving you tonight's homework for Ancient Runes.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **You can do that?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **It's not the easiest thing in the world, and it only works for so long, but yeah, I can do that.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Cool! So...anyways...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Right. IS. Well, I never really liked Umbridge, but when she offered me a spot on the IS, I couldn't really refuse without making her suspicious. So I kept looking for a way out, and I finally found one when she said all 5th years needed to do that stupid career advice thingy.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **She made you do that, too?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **She's big on faking fairness. Anyways, when I talked with Snape, I didn't tell him what I wanted to do at first. I said I wanted to start a scam--get billions of Galleons--then become Draco Malfoy, the Half-Naked Pirate.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **o.0

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **That's what Umbridge did. When she asked which half, I told her it'd depend on my mood.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **o.0

**ThroughTheFireAndFlames: **Then I said no, just kidding when Snape started looking a little suspicious. I said I'd create a cure for ugly and asked Umbridge if she wanted to be the first tester.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **You said that TO HER FACE?

**ThroughTheFireAndFlames: **Yep. :D She was shocked and insulted and promptly kicked me out of the IS.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Wow...

**ThroughTheFireAndFlames: **It was quite satisfying.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **I'll bet! By the way, thanks for giving all those points back the other day...

**ThroughTheFireAndFlames: **Sure.

_

* * *

_

If you're wondering why Hermione said she wouldn't ask Draco why he got kicked out of the IS on the Invisible Blog, it's because she didn't want anyone to know it would be HER asking him. She's just keeping with the whole anonymity thing.


	75. Chapter 75

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oww...

**HorseLuver14: **What's wrong?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I had detention with Umbitch...

**HorseLuver14: **Isn't it just lines? It can't be that bad, can it?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Oh, yes it can!

**YouCanCallMeE: **You've had detention with her before?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Lots of times. Each time sucked more than the last.

**YouCanCallMeE: **She make you do lines?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Do you know how to make it stop HURTING?!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Essence of murtlap helps.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Essence of murtlap...and where would I get this?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Uhh...try Madame Pomfrey.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Ask Madame Pomfrey for essence of murtlap. Got it! Thanks!

**YouCanCallMeE: **(sign off)

**HorseLuver14: **Just lines? How bad can that be?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **You have no idea.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

ugh.

umbitch evidently didn't think kicking me out of the is was bad enough, so she gave me detention, too. 3 hours of writing 'i must not be rude' with my own blood is NOT my idea of a good time. yeah, myrtle, she made me write that in that way. it sucked. big time. yeah, that's where i've been the past week. she's given me weekends off, but i've still got 2 more weeks to go. now i'm typing this w/my left hand and not using good grammar feels so WRONG. but i guess i don't have a choice, really.

aaaahhhhh...

whoever invented essence of murtlap was a genius.

* * *

_Sorry, short chapter, I know..._


	76. Chapter 76

_I don't know why my plot bunny chose spring break to run away...but here's my attempt to get it back without sending Bellatrix Lestrange after it. (Translation: In case you haven't guessed, the fifth book is looooooonnnnnng and it's really hard to come up with bloggy stuff for it. Oh well. Book 6 should be very interesting indeed...) _

* * *

**Subject: OWLs**

All fifth years should be studying for their OWLs. When you think you've studied enough, go back and study some more! I know taking a hideously long test isn't anybody's idea of a good time, but I want to see you all pass with flying colors this year!

**Posted by: Minerva McGonagall **

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**FaithAndFear: **Have you studied for your OWLs?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yes I have, Teacher-Like Person.

**FaithAndFear:** Teacher-Like Person?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I just decided that it's your new nickname.

**HorseLuver14: **Oooohhh...do I get a nickname?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hmmm...you are Dances With Hamsters.

**HorseLuver14: **ROFL!! Where'd you get that one?

**YouCanCallMeE: **From the dark depths of my mind.

**EagleEyes:** Sounds like fun...

**YouCanCallMeE: **What does?

**EagleEyes: **The dark depths of your mind. It sounds like a very fun place to be.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oh, it is...it is...

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

WHY ME?!

Or, maybe more accurately, WHEN ME?!

I realize that last question made no sense, but then again, neither does Ron. I don't get it--I've had a crush on him since...well, for a long time now, and HE STILL DOESN'T NOTICE ME!! Oh, sure, he noticed me just before the Yule Ball (when it was a few days before and he still didn't have a date), and he notices me every day when he needs help with his homework, but does he ever notice me the way I WANT him to? NO! UGH! WHY am I always the best friend and never the girlfriend?! WHY does Ron have to be so BLIND?! WHY DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

* * *

**EaterOfPie: **Ugh...OWLs were tough!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Very. I hope I passed Charms.

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah, me too. Don't you need Charms to be an Auror?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah. I don't think I did too bad, though.

**HorseLuver14: **OWLs sound awful...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **They are.

**YouCanCallMeE: **It's several interminable hours of pain and agony disguised as a test.

**EaterOfPie: **I thought torture was illegal?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **It's supposed to be.

**EaterOfPie: **So...why are OWLs still legal?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Excellent question.

* * *

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Did you hear what happened to McGonagall?

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah! Holy crap...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I hope she's OK...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Why'd they Stun her, anyways?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **They were going after Hagrid.

**YouCanCallMeE: **That makes very little sense...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Try telling that to Umbitch.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Think she'll be OK?

**YouCanCallMeE: **If they get her help in time, probably.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Hope they do.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E _**

We had our last exam today--History of Magic. Considering I was usually asleep/comatose/brain dead in that class, I don't think I did too well. But I guess that doesn't matter; I wasn't planning on being a historian or anything like that anyway. So it'll kind of be a good thing, I guess, that I won't have to take it next year. (Although I hate to think what Mom and Dad will say when they see what grade I got. I don't know what it is, but I know it won't be good.)

In the middle of the exam, Potter apparently fell asleep. I don't blame him. But the funny thing was, that when he woke up, he was screaming and clutching his forehead in agony. (If you've never seen anyone clutch their forehead in agony...well, you're not missing much.) Then he and his friends ran off, and nobody's seen them in a while.

I can't help but feel that they ran off and did something stupid...

* * *

_Okay, a few notes..._

_HorseLuver14 is Ginny Weasley. I mentioned that when she was first introduced, but I guess nobody paid attention. :P _

_Hermione's sudden venting to her blog about Ron wasn't brought on by anything strictly canon; it was more a culmination of her frustration at Ron's cluelessness. _

_For those of you frustrated about my not putting in perspectives from every minor character: Do you realize how HARD that is? It's hard enough getting all of the main characters' perspectives AND keeping every blog post from sounding the same--and they each have a LOT of "screen time" in the books. Imagine doing that for all of the minor characters, who only have a few scenes each. Yeah. It's tough. So just calm down, OK? I promise I'll bring them in later--the seventh book, probably--but right now it's not that easy. _

_I'll cover the climax in the next chapter. _


	77. Chapter 77

_EagleEyes is Luna Lovegood. She'll play a bigger role in the next two books, rest assured. _

**Thoughts From...Me **

**_Harry Potter _**

I am such an idiot.

I should have known YKW was just trying to lure me there.

I should have known Sirius wasn't really in trouble.

I should have _known _all that, but I, like an idiot, fell for it all. Now, thanks to me, Sirius is _dead. _I don't even know if I can say anything more about that, I'm just so...upset and mad--mostly at myself. Bellatrix may have been the one who killed him, but it's my fault. I try not to think about it, but it's all I can think about. How if it wasn't for me, he'd still be here...how much I wish he was still alive...

RIP, Sirius. You have no idea how much I'll miss you.

* * *

**Comments: **

_Harry, it's not entirely your fault. If you had known, you wouldn't have gone.  
__Hermione Granger_

_Yeah, and Sirius would still be alive. It all comes back to me.  
Harry Potter _

_Dumbledore told everyone he was innocent at the Leaving Feast, if that helps...  
Ronald Weasley_

_It doesn't. Why do you think I didn't go?  
Harry Potter _

_Well, at least Umbridge got fired...  
Hermione Granger_

* * *

**I Wish I Wasn't Such a Klutz**

**_Neville Longbottom _**

I saw her. Bellatrix Lestrange. Face-to-face.

The only good thing I can say about the encounter is that she's U-G-L-Y. So in other words, she's just like I imagined her: an ugly, evil, remorseless bitch. She killed Harry's godfather, which just makes it worse. Funny, but I didn't think that was possible.

I hate her. Just thinking about her stupid ugly face makes me want to strangle something--namely her.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I'm deleting this soon, so read it now and don't comment to it: I hate her too. She's ugly and mean and I wish we weren't related so I could make rude jokes about her at family reunions. You have every right to hate her.  
Draco Malfoy_

* * *

**KlutzyWonder: **Malfoy?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yeah?

**KlutzyWonder: **Uh...hi.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hi. What is it?

**KlutzyWonder: **It's about what you said...in that comment on my blog...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **What about it?

**KlutzyWonder: **Did you mean it?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yeah. BL scares me...

**KlutzyWonder: **Sucks that she's your aunt...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yeah. It really does.

* * *

**Subject: Goodbye**

It is the end of another year, and I regret that it had to end in tragedy. Glad as I am that Sirius Black's reputation has been cleared, I only wish people had listened sooner. Let this be a lesson to all of you to never assume the worst of people, because you never know what the future may hold.

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**

* * *

**

**Subject: Summer**

The blog will be up over the summer. I'll keep all the security stuff up, and I'll keep changing the password every week, so...yeah. That's what'll happen.

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E**

**The Invisible Man **

_**You Can Call Me E **_

I was right: Potter and his friends went off and did something stupid. Something stupid that ended with YKW revealing himself to the Ministry (and being incredibly pissed about it), Dad getting sent to Azkaban, and Potter's godfather (who isn't REALLY a remorseless criminal, according to Dumbledore, but is actually innocent) getting killed by my Aunt Spazzy. (Bellatrix Lestrange, in case you were wondering.)

I knew the offer would come sooner or later. I mean, given what my parents are...yeah. I just didn't know what I'd say to it--I kind of hoped it wouldn't come, that this would all blow over, I guess. But on the Express home, I thought about it, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized what I'd have to do. Now that the offer's actually come, I know. Mom's a basket case, Dad's in Azkaban, and everyone I know has been telling me what an honor it is to serve YKW. I'm not so sure about the whole honor thing, but he's going to win. He's won so far; he'll just keep on winning. And if I refuse now, he'll probably kill me later.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't have a choice.

Better go tell Mom and Aunt Spazzy what I've decided.

* * *

_Yep. You guessed it. Draco is posting his decision on whether or not to take the Mark. _

_If you're wondering why Harry's post on Sirius was shorter than Draco's was about YKW: Think about how you'd feel if someone you loved died and it was partially your fault. I know I wouldn't feel like writing much, or even thinking about it. Draco, on the other hand, needed to write a lot to sort out his emotions, make sure he was making the right choice--or at least thought he was. It's a question of personality and state of mind, not depth of sorrow/emotion in general. _

* * *


	78. Chapter 78

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Hey. What's up?

**EaterOfPie: **Not much...you?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Not much here, either--it's pretty boring here in Muggle Land.

**EaterOfPie: **lol. Everyone here in Wizard Land is going crazy because of YKW.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **He has that effect on people.

**EaterOfPie:** Yeah. When are you coming? Do you know?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **A few more weeks.

**EaterOfPie:** Oh. Can't wait!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah...it should be fun.

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah. I've been talking with Fred and George about their new joke shop...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Oooohhhh...what's it like?

**EaterOfPie:** I don't know. Hopefully, I'll see it when we go to pick up school supplies.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **You mean you haven't seen it?

**EaterOfPie: **No. Grr...it's all these new security measures the Ministry is taking--and Mom, too.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Your mom?

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah. If it's "not a necessary trip, don't leave the house," she keeps saying. As if YKW would just jump out from behind a store and attack us.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah, I don't think it's really his style...

**EaterOfPie: **He has a style?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Fighting-wise, yes. Fashion-wise, no.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E_**

When I left the blog up, I didn't expect everyone to keep coming here. Now that Umbitch got fired, I guess I expected everyone to go back to the other blog. Then again, it IS summer and the other blog IS down.

Normally, I look forward to going back to school. I miss Mom, of course, but she writes almost every day, so it's okay. And I miss Dad, too, but y'know, nine months away from them isn't that bad. It's kind of nice, really. And I like Potions. But now...I don't know. I don't want to stay home, but I don't want to go back to school, either, because of the task YKW gave me. Ugh.

Needless to say, I don't want to do it.

But I've got a few more weeks before the term starts and some semblance of a plan, so I should be okay.

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey guys.

**Fervenugen:** E! You're back!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Where've you been?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Home, mostly.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Sounds boring.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Sort of.

**Fervenugen: **So what's up?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Meh, not much. Just...life.

**HorseLuver14: **You okay?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, why?

**HorseLuver14: **You seem...distracted.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just life...and that shiny thing over there...

**HorseLuver14: **SHINY!!

* * *

_In case you haven't guessed, Harry and Ron told each other who they are on the Invisible Blog, but hadn't let on before now because of Umbridge. _


	79. Chapter 79

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

Our OWL scores came today. I did fine in everything that mattered--except Potions. I only got an E, and Snape only takes O students. Harry did about as well, and Hermione (predictably) got Os in almost everything. MAN that girl is smart! I wish I could just borrow some of her brain cells for test days...but of course she'd say something like "You're perfectly smart enough to do it on your own, Ron. Besides, I don't think loaning brain cells is legal" and blah di blah di blah.

At least she's not above helping me with homework.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Harry and I went with Ron's family to Diagon Alley today for school supplies. It was so weird...everything was quiet. Nobody was standing around talking--except for those guys hawking talismans. They make me so mad--those talismans do nothing but suck hard-earned money from peoples' pockets! I could tell Mr. Weasley felt the same way because he kept making remarks about what he'd do if he was on duty.

We went into Madame Malkins, and who should be there but Draco Malfoy. I could see he noticed us, but surprisingly he didn't say anything--just muttered something under his breath that sounded vaguely like "Mudblood," then turned back to the mirror.

After leaving, we finally saw Fred and George's new joke shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. It's INCREDIBLE. The magic they use for their pranks is VERY advanced--Half-Hour Daydreams, trick wands, edible Dark Marks ("They'll make anyone sick!") and my personal favorite, U-No-Poo. The funniest part about it was the ad: "Why are you worried about You-Know-Who? You should be worrying about U-No-Poo, the constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!" I thought Ron and Harry would die laughing.

Later we followed him into Knockturn Alley under Harry's Invisibility Cloak and used Extendable Ears to listen in on what he said to Mr. Borgin--something about fixing one item and buying another. I tried to find out what he meant, but Mr. Borgin caught on and wouldn't tell me. Harry thinks he's joined YKW, but...I don't know. He was too _nice_ last year. Then again, like Harry said, it could have all been an act.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Mom and I went to get school supplies today. It was weird--so quiet and empty. Sort of...dead. The weirdest part was knowing that it's quiet because of YKW--who, in case you haven't been listening (in which case you're STUPID because you're a BLOG and blogs are SUPPOSED to listen) I joined this summer. It was sort of scary, knowing I'm potentially part of the problem.

We ran into Potter and Pals in Madame Malkins. I didn't really care, but called Granger a Mudblood under my breath so Mom wouldn't get suspicious. After that, Mom went off to do some shopping by herself and left me to check in at Borgin and Bourkes. On the way there, I passed Weasley's Wizard Wheezes (Fred and George Weasley's new joke shop). The crowd was HUGE, probably because the shop was the only colorful thing in Diagon Alley. Music was playing--"Maintain Conciousness" by Relient K, in case you were wondering--and it looked SO fun. But I didn't go inside. A Death Eater in a shop run by blood traitors? Suspicious much?

I really wish I could have gone inside.

* * *

_Sorry this update took so long. As usual, my plot bunny ran away. But never fear; Draco volunteered to go after it. _


	80. Chapter 80

**Subject: Welcome Back! **

Welcome back for a new year, everyone! Let me repeat what I said at the Feast: No joke items from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Trust me, Filch will confiscate them.

Have a wonderful year!

**Posted by: Albus Dumbledore **

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**Have a Nice Day **

_**Me Against the World **_

School started yesterday. It kind of sucked--I was late for the Welcome Feast, but it was kind of my fault. Sort of.

Slughorn (our new Potions teacher, more on that later) invited me to lunch in his private compartment with Neville and Ginny. It was OK, if a little awkward. Not exactly my idea of a good time, though.

After that, I put on my Cloak and followed Blaise Zabini into Malfoy's compartment, hid up with the luggage, and listened in. From what he said, I'm almost _positive _that he's working for YKW. Mione still isn't sure, but still. His niceness last year was probably all an act.

Maybe.

I say "maybe" because he saw my tennis shoe when it slipped out from under the Cloak, and used the Full-Body Bind on me just as he was leaving. But he'd only taken a few steps away from the train when he ran back, performed the countercurse, and ran off before I could say anything. I had just enough time to grab my wand and change into my school robes, but by then the Express was pulling out of the station. Tonks came along and got me inside, but I was still late, so Snape subtracted points for that. Gr...

By the way, he's our new DADA teacher. (Pause for screams of agony.) Slughorn is our new Potions instructor, and the only good thing about this arrangement is that it means I get to take NEWT-level Potions, so I might have a chance of becoming an Auror after all.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I _really _wish Potter wasn't so damn _curious _about my life. Seriously, I don't sneak into HIS compartment to spy on him! Then again, I don't have an Invisibility Cloak...but I wouldn't spy on him if I did!

I probably wouldn't have known if I hadn't seen his shoe as it slipped out from underneath the Cloak. I pretended to ignore it, debating what I should do once everyone left, and finally used the Full-Body Bind on him. I thought about leaving him there as I left the train, but felt too guilty about just leaving him there. So I ran back, performed the countercurse, and ran back just in time to catch the last carriage.

We have Potions together again--same with Weasley and Granger. We ignored each other, which is OK with me. (He won a bottle of Felix Felicis for making the best Draught of Living Death. Can you believe that? He had enough trouble with the Draught of Peace last year; how the hell did he make DLD?)

* * *

_Sorry. Inspiration for this chapter is GONE. I'll update soon, though. _

_Note: I don't think Draco got into Advanced Potions in canon HBP, probably because Rowling wanted to portray him as a lazy spoiled rich kid who always dreamed about working for YKW and didn't care about anything but that. Obviously, his characterization is different in this fic, so it seemed natural that he get into Advanced Potions--especially since he seemed to like that class in canon. _

_Also, Harry and most other characters will continue posting their most personal blog entries in the Invisible Blog. The privacy is a HUGE attraction. _


	81. Chapter 81

_I would like to thank all 5,987,354,217.2 people who let me know that Draco did indeed get into Adv. Potions in canon. Like I've said before, I don't own the books so I don't exactly have a reliable reference. Harry Potter Lexicon works OK, but it's not the same..._

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Being Quidditch Captain is cool, but it also means I have to deal with morons all day. Grr...I'll bet the Hufflepuff captain doesn't have to deal with lovestruck Ravenclaws infiltrating _his _Quidditch tryouts.

Some of the candidates were pretty good; some were awful. Cormac McLaggen was the worst. He's so ARROGANT! He thinks that just because he's a seventh year, in Gryffindor and a member of the Slug Club (I do NOT belong to that club, no matter what Slughorn says) I should completely disregard all other candidates (including Ron) and let him be Gryffindor's Keeper. Worst of all, he's actually pretty good.

In the end, I went with Ron. I think--no, I KNOW--Mione Confunded McLaggen, but in a sick sort of way I'm relieved. It means I won't have to deal with McLaggen all year.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

I'm Gryffindor's Keeper!

WOOT!!

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Yes. I confess.

Yes, I Confunded McLaggen.

Yes, I did it so Ron could become Gryffindor's Keeper.

The fact that McLaggen won't be on Gryffindor's Quidditch team this year is just icing on the cake.

Best of all, I think Ron's finally starting to notice me! (Notice me as more than just Bushy-Haired-Girl-Who-Helps-Me-With-Homework; notice me as Potential Girlfriend. YAY!)

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

_**You Can Call Me E **_

Hey Myrtle. Yeah, sorry I haven't been in here for a while...I've been kind of busy. Where've I been? Oh, just...hanging out, really. Sixth year teachers seem to like giving homework. Oh, did you hear about Snape? He's the new DADA teacher! Yeah, it's pretty cool. What do you mean, I don't look so good? I just haven't been sleeping well, that's all. Really. I'm OK. Is it about YKW coming back and all that? Guess you could say that. And homework. Homework is killer this year. I'm not trying to avoid anything! The only reason I'm changing the subject is because the other subject is boring and there's nothing to talk about there! I'm NOT shouting! I'm not even talking! No, nothing happened this summer! Honest, Myrtle, I'm FINE.

* * *

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **HOLY CRAP!!

**EaterOfPie: **HOLY CRAP!!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **You think she's okay?

**EaterOfPie: **I don't know...aren't they taking her to St. Mungo's?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **That's what I heard, yeah.

**Confuzzled: **Will they be able to help her?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I REALLY hope so.

**EaterOfPie: **I think so...then again, that necklace was practically dripping with Dark magic.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **I can't believe Malfoy would do something like that...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Didn't you hear McGonagall? Malfoy wasn't there!

**YouCanCallMeE: **And even if it was, what makes you so sure it was him?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Well, since he's joined YKW...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **You don't know that.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **I wouldn't be surprised if he did, though. 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I might.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Might? 

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He was really nice last year. Well, comparatively speaking.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Compared to what?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: ** To what he was like before--what he was like, say, two years ago.

**YouCanCallMeE: **(sign off)

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **E?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **That was weird.

**

* * *

**

**The Invisible Man **

_**You Can Call Me E **_

MATW knows.

At the very least, he suspects.

Is it that obvious?

Was I that much of a bastard two years ago?

I'll just have to play it closer to the vest from now on.

* * *


	82. Chapter 82

**Subject: Quidditch! **

Hey, everyone who's on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, be sure to show up for practice today! Since Katie is still in St. Mungo's, Dean will be subbing for her. I think we've got a good shot this year--we've got a great team and all we need is practice.

**Posted by: Harry Potter **

* * *

**Subject: What...**

What makes you so sure about that, Potter? Sure, you have what you THINK is a good team, but I've been playing Quidditch for a while. Why didn't you make me Keeper?

**Posted by: Cormac McLaggen **

* * *

**Subject: RE: What...**

I chose the people I thought would be best for the team, McLaggen. If you have a problem with that, IM me or talk to me directly.

**Posted by: Harry Potter **

* * *

**Subject: RE: RE: What...**

I'm just saying...

**Posted by: Cormac McLaggen **

* * *

**Subject: Well...**

Well, we'd all appreciate it if you'd STOP saying it.

**Posted by: Genevra Weasley**

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

The Quidditch match is today, but I'm not going. I told everyone else I was sick and they got mad, but it's not my fault.

Actually, I don't know...I don't feel sick, exactly, but this morning I just couldn't get out of bed. The last thing I felt like doing was playing Quidditch, so I just said I was sick.

The Vanishing Cupboard isn't going any better. It's like trying to herd a million cats across the Atlantic Ocean without Imperiousing them all. (I don't think you CAN Imperious a million cats, anyways. Even if you could, it'd be pretty hard, I'll bet.)

Also, I don't _want _to work on it. Every time I start, it's like all motivation just leaves and all I feel like doing is sitting there staring at the pile of crap that used to be a magical cupboard. I don't even like staring at it. It just reminds me of what an idiotic bastard I am.

I hate life right now.

* * *

**Subject: Great Game! **

Great job, everyone! We did GREAT!

**Posted by: Harry Potter **

* * *

**Subject: Awww...**

Trying to make Weasley feel better, are we, Potter? No, wait--KING Weasley! Weasley is our King!

**Posted by: Pansy Parkinson **

* * *

**Subject: Ron **

He did fine, Parkinson. He would've done better if it weren't for your stupid CHEERS!

**Posted by: Hermione Granger **

* * *

**Subject: Quidditch **

Besides, YOUR Seeker didn't even show up today! OURS always shows up AND he's better than Malfoy!

**Posted by: Genevra Weasley **

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Ron did pretty good today. He would've done better if it weren't for Parkinson. Grr...I'm really starting to hate her.

The best part about Ron, though, is that he didn't cheat. See, at breakfast, Harry pretended to put his Felix Felicis into his pumpkin juice, and then everything started to go right: the weather was perfect, Malfoy was sick...stuff like that. And FF s supposed to be illegal in contests and games, so I was pretty upset. But, as it turned out, Harry only _pretended_ to give Ron FF.

I'm relieved and mad.

Relieved because Harry won't get in trouble for cheating. Angry because Ron got mad at me and at the party afterwards, he and Lavender Brown started flirting with each other--right in front of me!--and then they kissed! I left before it turned into a full-on snogging session (I knew it would). I stopped in the nearest unlocked classroom and just started sobbing--until Ron came in with Lavender. Then I made a bunch of birds attack him and ran out.

Maybe I shouldn't have done that...but I was just so upset! Now I feel like crying again...I should probably get off before I start.

* * *

_Again, HPL isn't known for its attention to details you actually NEED, so any mistakes can be attributed to that. _


	83. Chapter 83

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

Lavender is cool.

She's REALLY pretty, laughs a lot, and always listens when I talk--without correcting everything I say. (Which is more than I can say for Hermione.)

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I think Pansy is mad at me.

She hasn't talked to me in two days.

Maybe I should shower...

* * *

**PrettyPansy: **hay...draco?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hey Pansy! What's up?

**PrettyPansy: **nm...i needed 2 talk 2 u bout sumthing...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **What is it?

**PrettyPansy: **i think we shud break up.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **WHAT?! Why?

**PrettyPansy:** bcs...wel, ur obviously not doing too good.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Look, it's just...I don't know what it is, but I'll be okay!

**PrettyPansy: **ur seriously th most depressed person ive met...and u used 2 b so much fun!

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **So you're dumping me because I'm going through a hard time and you don't like that, is that it? You only like guys who make your life easy.

**PrettyPansy: **isnt that wat romance is? that, and im lucky if u shower once a week.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **I've told you, Pansy, I keep waking up too late for a shower! It's not my fault!

**PrettyPansy: **ya it is!

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Pansy...

**PrettyPansy: **no. ur depressed and boring and i think ur dragging me down.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **How?

**PrettyPansy: **wen im around u, i don't hav fun and neither does ne1 else. get thru ur little funk and then well talk.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **(sign off)

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Pansy just dumped me. Why? She said it's because I've been depressed...she said I'm dragging her down. Rude? Well, I think she's right...I'm just a depressed bastard. Yeah, I AM a bastard. Everyone knows it. I'm not being hard on myself, I'm just stating a fact!

Ugh...I can't believe this! I thought she liked me...

Wait...is someone else in here? Oh crap...I'm signing off.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

The weirdest thing happened today.

Ron was being a jerk (snogging Lavender and giving me the evil eye), so I ran off down the hall. I thought about going into a classroom, but that meant someone might find me. The Room of Requirement was too far away, so when I saw Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, I went inside, collapsed against a wall, and started crying.

After a minute or two, I heard someone else in there, sniffling quietly, typing on a laptop. Myrtle was talking to whoever it was, and apparently that person was typing back. I caught a few words:

"Pansy was just being a jerk."

Tapitytapitytap.

"Oh, Draco, people like you..."

Tapitytapitytap. Sniffle.

Taptaptap.

Myrtle came out and saw me, went back into the stall and told Draco I was there. I thought about leaving (me, alone in a bathroom with Myrtle and Draco Malfoy? How awkward can you get?) but stayed. I wanted to find out why he was pouring out his heart to a ghost in the bathroom.

He stopped typing, and the only sound for a moment was both of us sniffling. I guess it was up to me to break the silence.

"Draco? Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Sniffle. "I'm fine."

"You wouldn't be crying in a bathroom if you were."

Chuckle. "Neither would you."

"Tell me what happened."

"You first."

I thought about leaving then and there. Anything I told Draco would no doubt be repeated to Pansy and then the entire school. Then I remembered what he was like last year, and decided to tell him part of it.

"Well, there's this guy I like, and...I said something...that made him mad...and now he's going out with some ditz and all they ever do is snog each other." Pause. "You?"

Sniffle. "Pansy dumped me."

"She _what_? I thought you liked each other?"

"Me too." Bleak laugh. "Guess I was wrong."

We sat in silence for a minute. I guess we were both trying to think of something to say. "She was just dragging you down," I said after a minute. Wrong thing to say. He started crying again.

"That's what she said _I _was doing!"

"She told you that?"

"Yeah..."

"Then she's a jerk who doesn't deserve you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

More silence and sniffling. "Thanks...Hermione." A laugh. "Wanna go out sometime?"

I laughed along with him. "Seriously?"

"Might make them jealous." _Them _being Ron and Pansy.

"So...fake dating?"

"Yeah!"

I laughed again. "Deal!"

So...now I'm fake-dating Draco Malfoy to make Ron Weasley jealous.

At least he's cute.

* * *

_Okay, I HONESTLY wasn't expecting Draco and Hermione to start going out. It just sort of snuck up on me and once I realized Draco and Hermione were taking control of the story, it was too late to stop it. Don't worry, they won't get married or anything...but they ARE pretty cute together. _


	84. Chapter 84

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

The world must be coming to an end.

Hermione is dating Malfoy.

Repeat: _Hermione Granger is dating Draco Malfoy! _

One of them must be under a love potion...or maybe he threatened her life or something...

When I confronted her, she got mad. "Well, if _you _can date your snogging buddy Lavender Brown, I can date Draco Malfoy!"

"But Mione, he's..."

"He's _what_?"

"He's...he's...he's _Malfoy_! Remember? The same guy punched third year because he was being a bastard? Now you're _dating _him?"

"He's changed." She stood and went to her dorm without another word. I tried to get her to come down, then messaged her a few times on the blog, but she wouldn't answer.

This is insane.

* * *

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hello, fake girlfriend! What's up?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **lol! Not much, fake boyfriend. You?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Same. So...how did Ron take it?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Not very well. Wait...how did you know it was Ron?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Lucky guess. Besides, Ron must be blind not to notice you like him.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Oh. Yeah, he is pretty blind...except for when "Lav-Lav" comes up to him. Gr...I swear she does everything short of hanging a neon sign above her head that says HI RON!! SNOG ME!!

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Lav-Lav?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** His nickname for her. He's Won-Won and she's Lav-Lav. It's disgusting.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Sounds like it. What are they, four?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Yeah, four-year-olds who like to snog each other. A LOT.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Ugh.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Yeah. So how did Pansy take it?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Baaaaaaaaaad. Picture all of Hogwarts exploding in your face, and you'll get a pretty good idea of how Pansy took the idea of you and me going out.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Ooooohhhhh...so you think it's working?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **I think so, but I'm not totally sure yet. Ever since Pansy heard about you and me, she's been throwing herself at Theodore.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Theodore...?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Nott.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **She's been throwing herself at him?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yeah. You'd think he was the last guy on earth.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Ugh. You don't think this will backfire, do you?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **You suggesting we fake-up breakup?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **lol. Only if you think it'll work better...

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** I think they'll be more jealous if they think we're serious. Y'know, if we go out longer than a few days?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Yeah, I think you're right. So...what should we do?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Do?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** To make them think we're going out.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hmmm...how about all the normal boyfriendy-girlfriendy stuff? That should do it.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **You mean...sit together in class, hold hands in the hall, stuff like that?

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** Yeah! Too bad Pansy isn't in NEWT Potions...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Ron is.

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** Pansy isn't.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Hmm...this could be a problem.

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** By the way, what's a neon sign?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **A neon sign? It's like a sign covered in these rods that light up, and the rods can be twisted to spell different words. Muggles use them to advertise.

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** Muggles can make rods that light up?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Yeah. I don't know all the science behind it, but yeah, they can make rods that light up.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Cool! I had no idea you could do that without magic!

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Yep.

**The Invisible Man **

_**You Can Call Me E **_

When I decided to fake-date Hermione Granger, I forgot about one problem: Slytherin.

I always knew it was a capital crime to date a Muggleborn, and now that I'm doing it, everyone thinks I need some sort of intervention.

I really hope they don't owl Mum and Dad.

* * *


	85. Chapter 85

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World_**

Hermione is still going out with Malfoy. Either he's not a complete jerk after all or she REALLY wants to make Ron jealous. Or one of them is under a love potion. I'm not totally sure which it is yet.

I beginning to hate mistletoe. I have to avoid it because every girl in school, it seems like, is waiting for me to walk under it so they can snog me. It's really creepy.

Slughorn's Christmas party is coming up. I think Hermione is coming...with Malfoy.

Never thought I'd say this, but it's a good thing Ron won't be there.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Slughorn's Christmas party is coming up. I wouldn't be going but for the fact that I'm fake-dating Hermione (it has its perks) and she invited me. Ugh. I don't see why Slughorn didn't ask me to join the Slug Club--I'm not that bad, am I? And Dad was in it, so why not me? Oh well. Since I'm going with Hermione, I won't have to crash it or anything. (What? You didn't expect me to miss out on a party, did you? I need some fun right now.)

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

So. I went to Slughorn's Christmas party with Draco yesterday. Interesting night.

We walked in, holding hands (since we're fake-dating, that's what fake couples do, right?) and Harry was standing right there. He looked like...well, not like he's just seen a ghost because once you've seen them they're not as scary as they sound, but more like me and Draco walked in completely naked. He didn't say anything when he saw Harry and Luna together, but Luna did say something.

"Oh, so you're actually dating?"

"Uh, yeah, we're actually dating," Draco said. He looked sort of uncomfortable and kept avoiding Harry's gaze. The room had gotten suddenly quiet and it seemed like everyone was staring at us.

"Well, nothing like young love, eh, Granger?" This from Slughorn, who laughed. It sounded forced. To keep up the whole "Granger/Malfoy 4Ever" act, I kissed him on the cheek, and the party continued. Sort of.

It took a while for things to pick up again, but when they did, it was pretty fun. Still not my idea of a fabulously good time, but it wasn't a horrible night of pain and agony (as Draco so eloquently put it).

Then it ended. Harry came up to me and demanded to know why I'm going out with Draco, do I know what I'm doing, does he have me under a love potion or something, etc.

This had better work. I don't think I can handle Harry's interrogations much longer.

* * *

_Everyone who offered to send out a search party for my plot bunny: Your time has come. My plot bunny ran away again. _


	86. Chapter 86

_I'm skipping over Christmas break, since everyone (except for Draco) will be too busy having fun to post on their blogs. Draco simply won't have time to post on the blog. _

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Scrimgeour wants me to be the Ministry's little mascot.

It's so stupid, isn't it? They send Umbitch to torture me--and everyone else--bungle everything, and then expect me to support them.

On another note, we worked with antidotes today. Thanks to the Half-Blood Prince (whoever the hell he is), Slughorn said I was the best. (HBP said "just ram a bezoar down their throats," so I ran to the cupboard, grabbed a bezoar, and ran back to my cauldron. Slughorn laughed, but everyone else looked kind of pissed. Especially Ron, though I'm not sure how much of it was directed toward me and how much was directed toward Hermione, since she's started working with Malfoy now.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

We worked with antidotes in Potions today. I've got to say, fake-dating Hermione definitely has its benefits. That girl is SMART. (Although Potter STILL beat both of us--how does that work out?! How the hell did he know about bezoars, or that knowing about them would impress Slughorn?)

I find antidotes very interesting. Even though I still didn't beat the fabulous Mr. Potter, I actually did okay, for the time we had. A few more minutes and I would've had it.

Funny, but that's what Mione said, too.

* * *

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **What's up, Shiny Mione?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** What the...?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Well, you were saying in Ancient Runes today how annoying it is to hear Won-Won and Lav-Lav call each other that, so I thought you should have your very own annoying nickname.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Hear that? That's the sound of me laughing...all the way from Gryffindor.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yes...yes, I hear it...sing the sweet sound of thy laughter to mine ears...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** What?

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** I...don't...know...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **LOL!

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **So how was your Christmas...Drakey Wakey?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **lol. It was OK. Yours?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Same.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yeah...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **What're you doing now?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Just...hanging out...listening to music...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Me too! What're you listening to?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **"Going Under" by Evanescence.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Wow...that's almost the exact opposite of what I'm listening to...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **What're you listening to?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **"Love You Much Better" by The Hush Sound. They're sort of indie-rock...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Sounds cool...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Yeah...it is...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **So...see you tomorrow?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory**: Yeah, see you tomorrow.

* * *

**BoyWhoLived: **Hey Ginny...what's up?

**Redhead: **nm...you?

**BoyWhoLived: **Same...so what're you doing?

**Redhead: **Homework.

**BoyWhoLived: **For what?

**Redhead: **DADA.

**BoyWhoLived: **Yikes...Snape seems to like giving out homework, doesn't he?

**Redhead: **Yeah. It sucks.

**BoyWhoLived:** Totally.

**Redhead: **Yeah.

* * *


	87. Chapter 87

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

u wil nevur gess hoo draco is going owt w/.

granger!

draco is dayting a mudblud!

wow.

its amayzing.

mayb she haz him undur a luv poshun.

yah.

that must b it.

* * *

**Comments: **

_you THINK?!  
Pansy Parkinson _

_yah. we doo.  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_Actually, a love potion would make a lot of sense...Granger got him under a love potion somehow and now that he's smitten with her, they're dating.  
Theodore Nott _

_but y get him under a luv potion in the 1st place?  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_Does she need a reason?  
Theodore Nott _

_Yeah...people usually do when they put each other under love potions...  
Hermione Granger _

_GRANGER! howd u get on here?!  
Pansy Parkinson _

_I logged on, found the blog, read it and commented. That's how.  
Hermione Granger _

* * *

**HarrysGurl: **Hi Harry! 

**BoyWhoLived: **Who is this?

**HarrysGurl: **It's me! Romilda!

**BoyWhoLived: **Romilda Vane?

**HarrysGurl: **Is there any other Romilda?

**BoyWhoLived: **Guess not...

**HarrysGurl: **So how are you? How was class today?

**BoyWhoLived: **Uh...same as usual, I guess.

**HarrysGurl:** Nothing is ever ordinary, Harry...what happened today?

**BoyWhoLived: **Nothing. It was just the same old routine.

**HarrysGurl: **SOMEthing interesting must've happened...

**BoyWhoLived: **Not when your day was as boring as mine. Look, I've got a LOT of homework, so I'd better get going...

**HarrysGurl: **Awww...homework sucks. A Chocolate Cauldron might help...

**BoyWhoLived: **No thanks.

**HarrysGurl:** You sure?

**BoyWhoLived: **(sign off)

* * *

**Redhead: **Do I know how to block people?

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah! Keep them from IMing you.

**Redhead: **Not with IMs...why?

**BoyWhoLived: **I have a stalker...

**Redhead: **Romilda Vane?

**BoyWhoLived: **How'd you know?

**Redhead: **You're all she ever talks about.

**BoyWhoLived: **Oh. Creepy.

**Redhead: **Yeah, it is.


	88. Chapter 88

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Hello? Is anyone on?

**ProudGryffindor:** I am!

**CharmingRavenclaw: **So am I!

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **For a minute there, I thought I was the only one who got on this blog anymore!

**CharmingRavenclaw: **I know! It seems none of the students use it now...

**ProudGryffindor: **At least not for personal blogs.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **I wonder why...

**ProudGryffindor: **Maybe the Invisible Blog is still up and running?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Probably. Stroke of genius, that.

**ProudGryffindor: **It was, wasn't it?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **It's nothing short of a miracle that E kept it secret from Umbridge.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Does anyone know who E is?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **No...I don't think anyone does.

**ProudGryffindor:** For a while I thought it was Potter, but then I read some of E's posts. He doesn't talk like Potter.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I suppose we'll never know...

**CharmingRavenclaw: **On another note, what do you all think of Hogwart's latest student romance?

**ProudGryffindor: **You mean the fact that Granger is dating Malfoy? It's insane!

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Well, they're definitely promoting inter-House unity, that's for sure.

**ProudGryffindor: **Or trying to cause an inter-House war!

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I think they're cute together.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I may dislike Granger personally, but I think she's good for him.

**ProudGryffindor: **Severus?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Did...did he just say that?

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I think he did!

**ProudGryffindor: **Quick! Somebody check and see if he's Imperioused!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **No, I'm not Imperioused and yes, I did just say that.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Then explain, Severus!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I'm sure you've all noticed that Draco has seemed...depressed lately.

**CharmingRavenclaw:** He has seemed a little down, yes.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **And you've also noticed that when he's around Miss Granger, he cheers up a bit?

**HerbologistHufflepuff:** Yeah...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Well, there you go. I don't think they'll spend eternity entwined as one (and frankly, I hope they don't), but I do think she's good for him.

**ProudGryffindor: **Are you SURE you're not Imperioused?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Well, they ARE pretty cute together...

**CharmingRavenclaw:** Too bad none of the other students seem to think so.

* * *

**Never Mind That Noise You Heard **

**_Enter Sandman _**

Funny that a Muggleborn would be the one to pull Draco out of this depression, however temporarily.

Personally, I don't think they'll last. At least I hope they don't. God knows what his parents--and worse, the Dark Lord--will say when they find out he's dating a Muggleborn. If and when they do find out, hopefully he'll tell them it was a love potion.

But I've seen the way his eyes light up when he sees her. She's keeping him from going under, I can tell--keeping him from giving up completely. This isn't a love potion.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E_**

Ron has been glaring at me.

Ordinarily, this wouldn't be anything new--Potter and Pals's favorite game used to be Let's See Who Can Glare At Draco The Longest--but that was just glaring. This is GLARING. If they were playing Let's See Who Can Glare At Draco So Long They Actually Kill Him With Their Thoughts, Ron would be winning and I'd be dead.

No, Ron, I am not in love with Hermione.

No, she does not have me under a love potion.

Yes, I do like her.

Yes, I think she still likes you.

No, I'm not sure you deserve her yet. After all, you're still going out with Lav-Lav, and Pansy is still throwing herself at Theodore. (And I think he's catching her, if you know what I mean.)

* * *

_Again, my plot bunny ran away for a while. The good news is, though, now I'm getting to the part where I know exactly what'll happen. Just be warned, the next chapter will be a little intense and will deal with some heavy issues. With the issue discussed in the next chapter, if you think I'm not treating it with enough sensitivity, that's because 1) the character struggling with this issue is writing about it from his/her perspective and is emotionally unstable at this point, 2) it wasn't mentioned until now because this character didn't feel comfortable writing about it in his/her blog, although s/he was still struggling with it privately, and 3) the other characters who know this person don't know about this character's struggle. When they find out, this issue will be treated with the sensitivity it deserves. Finally, don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about with this issue. I've wrestled with it myself in the past, and with this character, I'm simply drawing on my own experience to flesh it out. _

_I'll give you a hint: Nobody "comes out of the closet." _


	89. Chapter 89

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Ron is in the hospital wing.

It was Ron's birthday today. While unwrapping presents, some of the Chocolate Cauldrons Romilda gave me must've gotten mixed up with is stuff by mistake. He ate one and started talking about Romilda--how cool she is, how much he wants her to notice him, etc. I dragged him to Slughorn's office for an antidote. (She'd slipped love potion into them, and that's what we were getting the antidote for.)

Slughorn had him back to normal in no time. Then he suggested we celebrate with some honeyed mead he was going to give to Dumbledore...and it just so happened that it was poisoned. I shoved a bezoar down his throat--just like HBP had said--and then we took him to the hospital wing. It looks like he's going to be OK.

If it weren't for HBP, Ron would probably be dead by now.

I hope he's okay.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Ron was poisoned.

It was an accident...and it looks like he'll be OK...but still.

Harry got to him in time with a bezoar...so he should be OK.

I can't type anymore. My hands are shaking too bad.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Ron almost died today, and it was my fault.

It was the poisoned mead I'd meant for Slughorn to give Dumbledore. He accidentally drank it, and if it weren't for Harry he'd be dead. Hermione would be even more of a basket case than she is right now and it'd be all my fault.

I wish I didn't have to see her face when I heard about Ron. She didn't know it was me--and that was the worst part. She cried, hugged me, told me how upset she was between sobs, how worried she was that Ron was going to die, and I felt like such a traitor for causing it.

I've been thinking about what I need to do all day, and I'm going to do it. I bought more poison than I needed for this task, but it's just enough for me.

It's for the best. Two innocent people have already gotten hurt--almost killed--and it's my fault. I'm going to fail at this task, and then he'll kill Mom, so that's three people gone because of me. If you take me out of the equation, nobody else gets hurt.

So...goodbye, I guess.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I chickened out.

After I wrote that last night, I just sat there, under the covers, crying like a baby until I finally worked up the nerve to actually do it. But every time I tried, I couldn't. I chickened out.

In the end, I guess I cried myself to sleep because I woke up with a headache, still holding the bottle of poison. I hid it before anyone saw. Nobody asked.

I think Mione knew something was wrong. And here's the funny thing: I _wanted _to tell her--not just about last night, but _everything_. She kept asking, and I kept wanting to tell her, but I just told her to leave me alone. I think I made her mad, but at least she stopped asking.

* * *

_Like with Sirius' death, the brevity of Hermione's post is due to the fact that she's upset. The lack of detail in Draco's posts is due to his fragile state of mind, not a lack of emotion. _

_Oh, and when he said "Nobody asked," he meant "Nobody asked what was wrong, why I was so upset yesterday, or anything like that." Writing all of that seemed superfluous, given his current state of mind. _


	90. Chapter 90

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Hey Drake...you okay?

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** You already asked me that.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **And you never really answered. So I'll ask again: Are you okay?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **I'm fine.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **No you're not.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Look, I answered your question...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **And you lied.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **You can't just ask me a question and then say I'm wrong!

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Drake, I just wanted to know if you're okay!

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** Well, if you KNOW I'm not okay, why even ask?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Because I want you to tell me what's wrong!

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **(sign off)

**Let Love In **

_**Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever **_

He won't tell me.

Something is seriously wrong with him and he won't tell me what it is. And I know I'm right. Ever since Ron got poisoned, he's seemed upset, tired, and like he might burst into tears any minute. (And knowing Drake, that's pretty serious. He NEVER cries.)

I hope he's okay. Ron getting hurt is bad enough.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I almost told her.

She IMed me today and I almost told her, but I signed off before I could do anything stupid.

If I told her, I'd lose her. Not just as a fake girlfriend, but as a friend in general. She'd stop talking to me, probably tell Potter, and then I'd be even worse off than I am now.

I can't tell her.

* * *

**BoyWhoLived: **Do you know what's wrong with Malfoy?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **No. I asked, but he wouldn't tell me.

**BoyWhoLived: **You think it has anything to do with YKW?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Harry, if this is just another "Mione-How-Could-You-Possibly-Date-That-Guy-He's-Just-A-Jerk-Who-Joined-YKW-And-Is-Out-To-Kill-You, After-All-He-Almost-Killed-Ron" lecture, I'm signing off.

**BoyWhoLived: **It's not! I'm just wondering...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **He's a nice guy. And I can tell he's going through a tough time right now. So even if I knew what was wrong with him, I wouldn't tell you because he doesn't need everyone at Hogwarts knowing about his life!

**ISpellPieRight: **He came to visit me today...

**BoyWhoLived:** He did?

**ISpellPieRight:** Yeah. Right after Lavender left.

**BoyWhoLived: **What did he say?

**ISpellPieRight: **He just asked if I was okay, so I said yes, and he said yeah, that's good, and then he left. That's pretty much it.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **See, Harry? He's NOT a jerk. And he didn't poison Ron.

**BoyWhoLived: **Maybe he did and he's just trying to fool us.

**ISpellPieRight: **Or he feels guilty.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **If he really did poison you, he wouldn't visit at ALL.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

Malfoy visited me today.

In case you're wondering, yes, it was weird and awkward. Actually, saying that is like saying Mione is smart. It was the weirdest, most awkward two minutes of my life.

Neither of us said much. Come to think of it, all we said was "Hi." "Hi." "Uh...how are you?" "Okay...you?" "Umm...okay. You, uh, you feeling okay?" "Yeah. Better." "That's good." The rest of it was awkward silence.

Still, it's the thought that counts, I guess.

* * *


	91. Chapter 91

**TheMcLaggen: **So. What did you decide, Harry?

**BoyWhoLived: **I haven't made up my mind yet.

**TheMcLaggen: **The match is coming up and our Keeper is still in the hospital wing. You need to make up your mind soon.

**BoyWhoLived:** I know, but I haven't yet! Just give me time, okay?

**TheMcLaggen: **You can't play Quidditch without a Keeper.

**BoyWhoLived:** Give me more time, okay?

**TheMcLaggen: **Fine. But remember how good I was at tryouts?

**BoyWhoLived: **(sign off)

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

McLaggen is, without a doubt, the most annoying person I've ever met. He's so arrogant...ugh! And it looks like I won't have any choice but to let him sub for Ron. I mean, it's not like anyone else has volunteered...and McLaggen IS pretty good as Keeper.

He had better not screw this up.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

The match is over. We lost. To Hufflepuff.

Now, I have nothing against Hufflepuff, but they've never been renowned for their Quidditch skills. (As a group, of course; some Hufflepuffs are really good at Quidditch, but their team isn't the best at Hogwarts.)

We would have won...if it weren't for McLaggen trying to play everyone else's positon! He even stole a Beater's bat so he could show them the right way to hold it! Which only landed me in the hospital wing because Mc-Icandoeverythingbetterthanyou-Laggen hit me in the HEAD and cost us the game!

I do believe I'm going to kill him.

* * *

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Were you at the Quidditch match today?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yes...ugh...WHY did Potter let whats-his-face sub again?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **He volunteered...and he's actually pretty good when he's not...y'know...

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** Being an arrogant bastard?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Yeah, that pretty much sums him up.

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** If he was on MY team, I'd kick him off, then maybe...I dunno...tie him to a chair or something and let my teammates throw rotten fruit at him...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** lol I should suggest that. BTW, did you hear Luna's commentary?

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** YES! That alone totally made the match worth seeing.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Didn't it?

**The Invisible Man**

_**You Can Call Me E **_

I know I'm not in Gryffindor, and I know whats-his-face isn't on my team, but watching him today was almost painful. I mean, trying to play everyone else's position? Who DOES that?

* * *


	92. Chapter 92

_All right, I've had several people ask about these usernames, so I'll just tell you who everyone is right now. _

_FaithAndFear: McGonagall (on the Invisible Blog)  
EnterSandman: Snape (on the Invisible Blog)  
ThroughFireAndFlames: Draco (on the regular blog)  
Redhead: Ginny (on the regular blog)_

_Any more questions? _

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Dumbledore needs me to get a memory from Slughorn. (He modified it before he gave it to Dumbledore--apparently he didn't want anyone to know what he said in it.) Which brings me to this question: If Slughorn went to tall that trouble of modifying that memory so nobody would know what happened in it, how the hell does Dumbledore expect me to get him to give it to me voluntarily?

Ron and Mione are right. I'll have to use Felix Felicis.

Gr...I was really hoping I could use it to ask Ginny out.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

It worked! I got the memory!

Here's what happened: I took a swig of the FF (not the whole bottle, just enough for a few hours' luck), and immediately felt GREAT. I don't know why, but FF makes you feel really, really happy and really, really confident.

Anyway, it told me to go down to Hagrid's for Aragog's funeral. (Don't ask me how or why he became friends with a giant spider, but I guess that's Hagrid for you.) So I did, and on the way I ran into Slughorn. I told him where I was going and why, and he decided to come along because Acromantula venom is really useful, apparently.

We stayed for a while after we buried Aragog, singing (Slughorn's voice is...um...interesting...) and talking about my parents. Oh, and drinking wine. LOTS of wine (I didn't really have any). Once Hagrid fell asleep and Slughorn got drunk enough that he wouldn't remember any of what I said the next day, I asked him for the memory. He gave it to me, and I took it to Dumbledore immediately.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention: As I was walking out the door of Gryffindor Tower, I heard Ginny yelling at Dean. Don't know if it means anything, but still...

* * *

**BoyWhoLived:** Hey Ginny...what's up?

**Redhead:** nm...you?

**BoyWhoLived: **Same.

**Redhead:** So...you ready for the Quidditch final?

**BoyWhoLived:** Sort of. Nervous, of course.

**Redhead:** Yeah. I think we'll win, though.

**BoyWhoLived:** Really?

**Redhead:** Yeah...we've got a good team, and I think we're ready.

**BoyWhoLived: **Hope so.

**Redhead: **You're not going to let McIdiot sub again, are you?

**BoyWhoLived:** You mean McLaggen? No.

**Redhead:** Thank God! I mean...oh...poor McIdiot--I mean McLaggen...

**BoyWhoLived: **lol! Hermione heard an interesting suggestion...

**Redhead: **Oh?

**BoyWhoLived: **Tie McLaggen to a chair and have the entire Quidditch team throw rotten fruit at him.

**Redhead: **LOL! We should totally do that!

**BoyWhoLived: **That's what I said! But when I suggested it to McGonagall, she said no.

**Redhead: **Party pooper.

**BoyWhoLived: **Yeah...

**Redhead: **Did you really suggest it to McGonagall?

**BoyWhoLived: **No...

**Redhead: **Oh. 'Cause I was wondering...lol.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I can't do it.

I've tried, and I can't. I can't fix the Cupboard, he's going to kill Mum, then he'll kill me...and it'll be slow.

I should just get it over with now. Finish the job before he does. I still have the poison--and I won't chicken out this MYRTLE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! No, I wasn't...I wasn't typing anything...no, it wasn't suicide I was talking about...Why were you reading over my shoulder?! Just...shut up, okay? Just leave me alone! No...I...I can't tell you...he'll kill me...he'll kill Mum first and then he'll kill me...

* * *

_Yes, that was the beginning of Draco's nervous breakdown featured in the chapter "Sectumsempra". I'll cover the aftermath in the next chapter. _


	93. Chapter 93

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

I honestly didn't know what I was doing.

What happened was this: I've been trying to figure out what Malfoy is up to, but haven't found anything yet. So today, when I saw him on the Marauder's Map, in a boy's bathroom with Moaning Myrtle, I decided to check it out, see if I could find anything. Mistake Number One.

When I got there, he was leaning over the sink, gripping it in both hands, crying. He was crying. I stood there watching, stupidly. Mistake Number Two.

"Draco, _please _tell me what's wrong!"

"No...I-I can't...he'll kill me..."

"Just tell me! I can help!"

"No...nobody can...it's--"

That's when he noticed me. I _swear _he attacked first, but I dodged behind a stall door, and it wasn't until he almost used the Cruciatus Curse on me that I struck back with Sectumsempra. Mistake Number Three.

Honest, I didn't know what it did! And it was sort of self-defense, since he almost used an Unforgiveable on me...but it was still awful. Blood started pouring from gashes across his face, and if it weren't for Myrtle yelling "MURDER!! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM!!" it probably _would _have been murder. Snape came, healed his cuts, and got him to the hospital wing...and I got detention for the rest of the year.

I am such an idiot.

* * *

**Let Love In**

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Now that I've stopped crying, I'll write what happened.

Harry accidentally attacked Draco in the bathroom, and he got sent to the hospital wing. As soon as I could I went to visit him, but stopped at the bathroom first. Moaning Myrtle was there, and I could hear her crying.

"Myrtle?"

"Hermione?" She came out of the toilet.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pretty sure it was about Draco. "I heard he's going to be OK. Drake, I mean."

"It's not that." She hesitated. "Harry didn't tell you what happened before Draco got attacked, did he?"

I said no. Myrtle paused again, then continued. "He comes into the bathrooms sometimes--sometimes mine, sometimes not--to write on his blog. More privacy that way, he says." Another long pause. I had the feeling whatever she said was not going to be easy to hear.

"Well, he came into one of them...and I was just wandering around...and I found him. Since he can't hear me, I read over his shoulder..." She started crying again.

"And what?"

"He...he said something about how he couldn't do something...how somebody was going to kill him...and then he said he should just get it over with..."

I sank to the floor. "You mean...you mean he's going to kill himself?"

"I think he's thinking about it--seriously thinking about it."

I don't know why, but I couldn't move. I just sat there for a long time, until it was too late to visit him anymore.

The next day, during my first break, I went to visit him again. Fortunately, we were the only ones there. I sat next to him and waited for a long moment before saying anything.

"Drake? Come on, I know you're awake."

He rolled over and smiled faintly. "Hey, Mione."

"Hey. You...you feeling any better?"

"Yeah. Still kind of tired, I guess."

Long silence. "I talked to Myrtle yesterday." More silence. "She...she told me what happened..."

"Before Potter attacked me?"

"He didn't know what that curse would do. Not that I'm excusing him..." Deep breath. "Myrtle told me what you wrote."

He turned away and pulled the covers over his head, and after a few minutes I gave up trying to get him to come out. "Look, I just wanted to know...why? Things can't be that bad--"

"Yeah they can."

"Well, how bad _are _they?"

"Bad."

"I need more details than that if you want me to help you."

"You can't."

"What do you mean, I can't?"

"You can't. Nobody can." He was crying, I could tell, and for some reason it made me want to cry too.

"Drake..."

"It's my fault."

"What's your fault?"

"Ron." He was sobbing now. "It's my fault...my fault he got poisoned..."

He stopped, and I waited, feeling like I'd just swallowed an anvil. After a minute or two, he continued. "It was an accident. Honest. The mead...it was meant for somebody else...actually nobody I guess...just to make it look like I was doing something..."

"And he drank it by mistake."

"Yeah."

I just sat there crying for a minute until I realized something. "Drake? Who was it meant for?"

"Nobody."

"It was meant for someone."

More silence, and I knew he wasn't going to tell me. "Ron was already out of the hospital wing yesterday."

"Yeah."

"And you still wrote that."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Another long pause, the longest yet. Draco pulled the covers off and looked me in the eye. What I saw in his made me nervous. "You...you can't tell anyone."

"Can't tell anyone what?"

Biting his lip, he yanked up his left sleeve, and there was the Mark in all its hideous glory. I gasped, and he pulled his sleeve down. "That's why."

I can't write any more now.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Here's the rest of what happened:

After Drake showed me his Mark, we both just sat there. He looked away, and it took me a long time to find my voice again.

"When?" I choked out.

"This summer." I must've looked shocked or hurt or something because he jumped to explain. "You have to understand. Dad was in Azkaban. Mom was a total basket case, Aunt Spazzy--Aunt Bella, I mean--kept pressuring me--"

"So you did it because your _family _kept pressuring you? Because it was a_ family _thing? Oh, yeah, for this year's family vacation, let's all join Voldemort!"

He winced. "Don't say his name! And that's not the only reason--he would've killed me if I hadn't!"

"You could've run away!"

"Mione, I'm 16! I can't use magic until June!"

"You could've told us--we would've helped you! The Order would have--"

"No, they wouldn't! The Order _hates _my family! They would've just said 'Too bad, so sad, go to--'"

"You don't really _believe _that, do you? Drake, that's exactly what he wants you to think!"

He just lay there, staring. I continued. "They would've helped you. They still can."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. They can't. Nobody can."

I was about to say something else, but my break ended just then. "I'll be back after my next class." I left, trying not to let anyone see me cry.

* * *


	94. Chapter 94

_Whoo...sorry I haven't updated in a while! My family and I had to leave for my grandma's memorial service--scatter her ashes, to be more specific. In case you're wondering yes, it was nice. Sad, but nice. _

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

I've been visiting Draco as often as I can--during almost every break and after dinner. I'll just do my homework in the hospital wing and talk with him. I've tried to avoid the topic of YKW (and how Draco plans to escape from him), but every time I see hime I just want to cry, shake him and scream that it doesn't have to be this way, that I can help him if he'll let me. But I don't.

I wish I could tell him...tell him everything. How much I want to help him. How relieved I am when I come into the hospital wing and see that he's still alive.

How I don't want him to die.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

Either something is wrong with Malfoy or Hermione _really _likes him.

She visits him during every break (almost) and every day after dinner. She'll just leave class with her (and sometimes his, if they have that class together) homework and do it in the hospital wing, talking to him.

But...I don't know. Sometimes she'll walk out of the hospital wing crying. Sometimes she just looks upset. But she's never smiling. So I think something might be wrong.

I'm going to ask her. Hopefully it's the former (something is wrong) and not the latter (she _really_ likes him).

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

Wow.

Just...wow.

I asked Mione what was wrong after dinner tonight...and I totally wasn't expecting to hear what she told me.

When I asked, she hesitated a moment. I waited. "Come on, Mione. If something's wrong, I can help."

"Can you?" She looked so...upset and...shaken that I just wanted to hug her right then and there. But I remembered that she was still dating Malfoy and controlled myself.

"I don't know. Maybe not. But I can try."

She paused again. "Draco's going to kill himself." She started crying and poured out the entire story to me. Basically, he joined YKW this summer (no big surprise there), but he didn't really want to and felt like he didn't have a choice. Apparently he'd been considering suicide for a while (I guess ever since he joined YKW, if Mione's guess is right), and all the stuff Harry said was his fault (it was) just made him feel worse.

Poor guy.

She kept sobbing and shaking, so I put my arms around her. It just seemed like the right thing to do, I guess, and seeing her so upset made _me _want to cry. I guess I just wanted to make her feel better.

"Hey, it'll be okay," I said when the sobbing eased. "At least he told you."

"I can't do anything."

"My parents can. Well, Dad _is _a member of the Order," I said when she pulled back and stared at me. "Since he's your boyfriend and all, they might be willing to help him."

Hermione just stared at the floor for a minute, then looked at me sheepishly, smiling slightly in that way girls smile when they're up to something. "Would now be a good time to tell you that he's not my boyfriend?"

I almost fell over. "He--what? But--you've been dating all year--"

"Fake-dating." She took a deep breath. "It was his idea--after Pansy dumped him and you were--you and Lavender were still going out--we thought it might make you and Pansy jealous...But I still like him, as a friend, you know..."

"So I guessed, if you're so upset about this..." I couldn't help grinning. "So technically, you're still single?"

"Pretty much."

Chuckling, I shook my head. "That was really...sneaky."

Hermione grinned for a minute, then frowned. "So you'll help him?"

"I'll try."

She hugged me again. "Thanks."

Funny, but the fact that they're not _actually_ dating makes me want to help him more.

* * *

_See? I TOLD you it wouldn't end up Dramione forever. Sorry to all you Dramione fans, but Ron and Hermione were made for each other. _


	95. Chapter 95

**EaterOfPie: **Fred? George?

**Fervenugen:** Hello, Ickle Ronnykins!

**Gorkyshlorky:** Greetings, midget brother of mine!

**EaterOfPie:** O...kay...um, I need your help with something?

**Fervenugen:** Getting a date?

**EaterOfPie: **Um, no. One of Mione's friends needs help.

**Gorkyshlorky: **With what?

**Fervenugen:** Who is it?

**EaterOfPie:** This might sound weird...but it's Draco Malfoy.

**Fervenugen:** Malfoy?

**Gorkyshlorky:** You serious?

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah...I'm serious.

**Fervenugen:** Wait...aren't they dating?

**EaterOfPie: **It's complicated, and I don't have time to go into it right now, but they were never really dating. But he IS one of Mione's friends...

**Gorkyshlorky: **How'd THAT happen?

**EaterOfPie: **Again, it's complicated.

**Fervenugen:** So what does he need help with?

**Gorkyshlorky:** His mind?

**Fervenugen:** Methinks you're right! Don't we have some Smart Serum or something?

**Gorkyshlorky:** No, but we DO have Puking Pastilles! Need some of those?

**EaterOfPie:** He's suicidal.

**Fervenugen: **He what?

**EaterOfPie: **He's thinking about killing himself--pretty seriously, from what Mione says.

**Gorkyshlorky:** Oh.

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah. She's really upset.

**Fervenugen: **Wow. Do you know why?

**EaterOfPie: **This might sound weird, but it's becuase he joined YKW...

**Gorkyshlorky: **And now he wants out?

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah.

**Gorkyshlorky: **So what do you need us to do?

**EaterOfPie: **Can you meet with Dad and tell him how to get onto this site? In person, since if you owl him it might get intercepted...just tell him what I told you and tell him we need to talk.

**Fervenugen: **Yeah, of course! We were going to meet him and Mom tomorrow anyways.

**EaterOfPie: **Awesome! Thanks, guys.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Hey, if it helps...

* * *

**Fervenugen:** Zee package haz been deelivurred.

**EaterOfPie:** Huh?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Why are you talking like Crabbe and Goyle?

**Fervenugen:** Actually, I was going for more of a Fleur Delacour accent, but whatever. George and I talked to Dad.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Great! What'd he say?

**Fervenugen:** He got an account this morning and will talk with you tonight.

**EaterOfPie: **Awesome! What's his screenname?

**Fervenugen: **MuggleFan18. You know Dad.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **lol yeah. How about a blog comments convo, since nobody will be able to break into it?

**Fervenugen: **Sounds good! I'll tell Dad.

**Peeeennnnnguiiiiinnnnnssss...**

**_Penguins R Fun _**

Hi everyone. This is me, Ron. Dad?

* * *

_Hi Ron! What's with the screenname?  
__Muggle Fan 18 _

_It's just something I came up with for this blog, that's all.  
PenguinsRFun_

_So this isn't your REAL blog?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Of course not! Tell Mom I don't read HER diary, so she can't read my blog!  
Penguins R Fun _

_"Mom" wants to know how you knew she was standing behind me.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Dad, she's MOM. BTW, hi Mom!  
Penguins R Fun _

_Umm...shouldn't we be discussing Draco?  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Right. Of course. Now, Fred and George told me the basics--he's suicidal because he joined You-Know-Who. Is there anything else I need to know?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_We call him YKW on here. And no, I don't think so...Mione?  
Penguins R Fun _

_I don't think so.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Well, if he wants out this badly, he obviously didn't want to join YKW in the first place...  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_That's what he told me.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_I'll talk to the other Order members and see what they think. Do you mind if we use this blog?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_I don't think E would mind.  
Penguins R Fun _

_E? Who's E?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_The guy who started this site last year...we needed an Umbridge-free place to chat, and so E created this site. Nobody knows who he is, though...  
Penguins R Fun _

_Hmmm...try to find out. It could be important. Anyway, I'll talk to the other Order members and we'll come up with a plan. I'm thinking we could kidnap him at the end of the year, but Moody might say something different.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_I'd hug you but I can't quite reach you...  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_You're welcome. Anything we can do to help him. In the meantime, spend time with him. Don't mention suicide or YKW, but just...hang out with him. What he needs right now is a reason to live.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

* * *


	96. Chapter 96

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

I told Ron.

I don't think I meant to...I was just so upset and he was so sweet and everything just poured out, and before I knew it he'd contacted Fred and George and they'd contacted their dad and he's probably contacted the Order by now...so I guess what's done is done.

I know I promised Drake I wouldn't tell...sort of. I never actually _promised _anything. But he needs help, even if he doesn't know it, and the Order might be able to give him the help he needs.

I hope they can.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I told Hermione. I told her everything.

I don't know why. Sure, it felt good to tell someone, and if I fail it won't matter...but right now I'm just hoping she doesn't tell anyone else. And I feel horrible, because telling her everything made her so upset she started crying. (I was crying too, but I didn't want to make _her _cry.) Now every time she visits me she leaves upset--even though we just talk about normal stuff.

I don't want to hurt her. If I stay alive, I might end up hurting her at YKW's orders. If I don't, I'll still end up hurting her.

I get out of the hospital wing soon. I don't know if I'm going to do it or not.

* * *

**Peeeeeennnnnnguiiiiinnnnnssss...**

**_Penguins R Fun _**

Mione, Dad wants to talk to you. So...talk, I guess.

* * *

_What is it, Mr. Weasley?  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Hello, Hermione. I've been waiting to meet with all the other Order members, and I thought of something...Did Draco say how he's planning to...kill himself...if he actually goes through with it?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_No...he didn't.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Did he give you any clues? Anything that might possibly LEAD to a clue?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_No...you don't think he's actually going to go through with it, do you?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_I'm not sure. I haven't talked to him personally, but from what you've said he sounds...pretty depressed. So I think it's a pretty big possibility.  
Since you don't know HOW he's planning to do it--if he does--you'll need to get anything he could use away from him. Just as a precaution.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_But how? I'm in Gryffindor and he's in Slytherin. I'm not even sure I know where the Slytherin common room is, much less the password!  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Sorry to butt in here, but doesn't Harry own Kreacher now? He would probably let us borrow Kreacher for a while...  
Penguins R Fun _

_You can't borrow a house-elf! Besides, I don't think Kreacher would like that.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Sure you can! Just have Harry order him to obey us and he will. And besides, haven't you heard the way Kreacher talks about Draco? He LOVES that guy. Saving his life is his idea of a good time.  
Penguins R Fun _

_Good idea, Ron! And Kreacher would be perfect because if you order him not to let anyone know he's there, he'll have to make that happen!  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_I'm still not sure Kreacher would like this...but if it'll help Drake, I'm in.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

* * *

_Thanks for all the reviews, guys! Oh, and thanks for all the sympathy for my grandma. It does help. _


	97. Chapter 97

_Okay, guys, I REALLY need your help with the rest of this book--and with the seventh book. SOON--as in, the next two or three weeks--I'll need a copy of the chapter "The Lightning-Struck Tower." Dialogue, actions, description--everything. It's essential to your entertainment; if I don't get that chapter, you won't be able to read the climax of _Half-Blood Prince. _So please help me. Thanks! _

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

I...I don't know what to say except that now I feel REALLY guilty.

I found out why Hermione has been so upset these past few days when she and Ron cornered me after detention yesterday.

"Harry," she said quietly, "did you ever find out why Draco was crying?" Something about the way she said it made me nervous.

"You mean...before he got hurt? No...I didn't."

She took a deep breath, sat down in one of the common room armchairs, and guestured for me to sit as well. She stared at her hands for a long moment. "First of all...you were right...about him joining You-Know-Who."

That fact didn't make me any happier. She continued. "He told me in the hospital wing the other day."

"He_ told _you?"

"Yeah. He told me." Her voice sounded choked. "He didn't want to...didn't want to join him in the first place...and now..." Her next words came out in a whisper. "He's going to kill himself."

I just sat there for a minute. "Are...are you sure?"

"I found out from Moaning Myrtle. She read his blog while he was still writing it--he said something about...suicide...and when I talked to him..." She started crying, and Ron, sitting next to her, grabbed her hand.

Silence. "So what do you need me to do?" I asked. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Well," Ron said, "We talked to my dad about getting some help for him--he's thinking that they'll kidnap him at the end of the year. But for now, we have to make sure he's safe, if you know what I mean."

"Take away anything he might use?"

"Yeah. So...we need to borrow Kreacher." I must've looked confused, because Ron explained: "He's perfect for the job--if you just order him to obey us, he will..."

"And he seems to like Draco," Hermione said.

"Yeah," Ron said, smiling faintly. "He does." Another pause. "So?"

I nodded. "Sure. You can borrow him."

Leaning over, Hermione gave me a one-armed hug. "Thanks."

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

I let Ron and Hermione borrow Kreacher today. Here's what happened:

Hermione suggested we do it just before breakfast. That way, Slytherin would be empty while everyone was in class/breakfast (we weren't sure how long it would take) and Kreacher would have a better chance of not being seen. So just before breakfast started, I called him, ordered him to obey Ron and Hermione, then stood back and watched. He was really mad about the whole thing--until Hermione told him what she wanted him to do.

"Kreacher will be saving Draco Malfoy's life?" He made it sound like we were giving him free concert tickets or something.

"Yes. You will."

"What does Hermione Granger need Kreacher to do?" Translation: How do I get those tickets, Hermione?

"Go into Slytherin once everyone is gone, find Draco's room. Don't let anyone see you and don't let anyone know you're there. Don't tell anyone who asks what you're doing. Go through his stuff and find anything he might use, put all his stuff back the way it was, and bring me whatever you find. I'll be waiting in the girls' bathroom on the third floor. Remember, _don't be seen._"

Kreacher bowed, then Disapparated. When Hermione found us later (after breakfast and our first class), she was carrying a small, half-empty bottle of clear fluid.

"Poison," she said quietly. Ron and I just nodded. "Didn't take Kreacher that long to find it."

We all stared at the bottle for a long time. "So what do we do?" Ron asked.

Hermione: "Neutralize it somehow."

Me: "We don't even know what kind it is."

Hermione: "We can find out."

We're still trying to decide whether or not we should ask Slughorn.

* * *

**Peeeeennnnnnnguuuuiiiiiinnnnnnsssss...**

**_Penguins R Fun _**

blah di blah di blah

* * *

_All right, is everyone on? Mad-Eye? Remus?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_I am.  
Moonlighter 57 _

_So am I.  
Constantly Vigilant _

_All right...anyone else?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Tonks' family is standing behind me...  
Moonlighter 57 _

_I think we're good, then.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_So what are we discussing? The Malfoy boy?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Yes. I'm not quite sure how to put this without sounding insensitive, but basically, he joined YKW, didn't want to, and is now thinking about killing himself.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_That's awful! Poor guy...  
Moonlighter 57 _

_You're sure this isn't a trap?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_A trap? Why would it be a trap?  
Moonlighter 57 _

_Hermione is certain this isn't a trap, and I for one trust her.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_How did she find out?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Apparently, Moaning Myrtle (one of the ghosts) read over his shoulder that he was thinking about suicide (he blogs in the bathrooms for privacy, according to Myrtle), and after Harry accidentally attacked him, Hermione went to the hospital wing and he told her about joining YKW--but not right away. According to Ron, it really upset her.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Hmmm...Granger is usually good at seeing the truth...and this one seems likely. Did you have any ideas, Arthur?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Actually, yes. I was thinking that we could kidnap him at the end of the year--as he's leaving the Hogwarts Express. That way, if he's lying, we'll have captured a Death Eater.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_And if not, he'll be away from YKW! Good idea.  
Moonlighter 57 _

_Perhaps...do you think he'd be willing to turn traitor?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Traitor? Mad-Eye, he's under enough stress as it is!  
Muggle Fan 18_

_Just a thought. We could use another man on the inside, if you know what I mean. __  
Constantly Vigilant _

_True, but we'd have to consult him first.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Of course.  
Constantly Vigilant _

_I'll run it past Hermione. In the meantime, I vote we stick to the kidnapping plan.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Sounds good.  
Moonlighter 57_


	98. Chapter 98

_Sorry Crabbe and Goyle haven't blogged in a while; their stupidity just seemed misplaced among all the serious stuff in the last few chapters. However, back by popular request, are Crabbe and Goyle! :D_

* * *

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

draco gits owt of th hosspitull wing 2marro.

ya.

wuznt in their long.

kumpairativlee speeking.

(sez theeodoor. hay, theeodoor, wat duz kumpairativlee meen?)

(o. it meens kumpaired to sumthing els?)

(kthanx.)

ya.

btw, pansy and theeodorr r going owt now.

they seem happee.

ya.

kool.

* * *

**Comments: **

_I can't believe you didn't know what "comparatively" means.  
Theodore Nott _

_wel, we dont. u shudnt yooz big wurds arownd us. its not nys.  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_but...comparatively isn't that big of a word...  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_well, it kind of is...i mean, it's not the easiest word 2 spell...  
Pansy Parkinson _

_Com. Par. A. Tive. Ly. It's not that hard, people!  
Theodore Nott _

_ya it is!  
Pansy Parkinson _

_Wow...just...wow...  
Hermione Granger _

_wat's so wow?  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_The fact that you're all arguing over whether "comparatively" is hard to spell or not.  
Hermione Granger _

_wel, it is! i dont care how easy u all think it is, its HARD!  
Pansy Parkinson _

_Whatever.  
Theodore Nott _

**Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle **

**_Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _**

theeodoor sez kumpairativlee is ez 2 spel.

butt we dont think so.

wat do u gyz think?

iz it hard to spel or wat?

* * *

**Comments: **

_Easy.  
Hermione Granger_

_It's kind of tricky, but it's one of the easier hard words, if you know what I mean.  
Hannah Abbot _

_It's not that hard.  
Harry Potter _

_What Harry said.  
Ronald Weasley _

_I shall withold my opinion at this time, since you already know it.  
Theodore Nott _

_wate...did u spel withold right, theo?  
Pansy Parkinson _

_Of course I did! Check my spelling if you think I'm wrong!  
Theodore Nott _

_You didn't.  
Hermione Granger _

_What?! I didn't?!  
Theodore Nott _

_Nope. It has two H's--withhold.  
Hermione Granger _

_lol! theeodoor speld sumthing rong!  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_You have a lot of nerve for two guys who can't even spell my name right.  
Theodore Nott _

_we kan spel it rite...we just dont want 2.  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle_

_Oooohhhh...fistfight!  
Justin Finch-Fletchley _

_No fistfights. I refuse to fight back.  
Theodore Nott _

_wimp!  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_o, so now ur a pacifist?  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_No. I'm not a pacifist; I'm just leaving.  
Theodore Nott _

_poor theo...u shud be nicer 2 him, guys!  
Pansy Parkinson _

_we R nice. we wer just teasing is all.  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_I wasn't teasing; I was just correcting his spelling!  
Hermione Granger_

_Which he ASKED her to do!  
Ronald Weasley_

_watever. im leaving.  
Pansy Parkinson_

_

* * *

_

Well there you are. TWO Crabbe and Goyle blogs.

* * *


	99. Chapter 99

_Wow...this fic is almost to 100 chapters! And it's kind of had a weird effect on me...or maybe I'm just weird. Whatever the case, my friend and I spent most of PE class today discussing Voldemort. We asked such life-changing questions as...  
What kind of sandwich would Voldemort like to have on a deserted island? (Never did get an answer for that one...)  
Does Voldemort like the Goo Goo Dolls? (HECK NO!!)  
Does Voldemort like Justin Timberlake? (Yes.)  
Was Justin Timberlake ever a Death Eater? (Yes. Now he's setting out to destroy music instead of, y'know, the world.)  
What kind of medicine would Voldemort be? (Pepto-Bismol.)  
Where would Voldemort live, if he had the choice of anywhere in the world? (Hawaii.) _

_Yes...we are very odd...anyway, thought you'd enjoy that, even though it's completely off-topic...:P _

**

* * *

**

**PrettyPansy: **hay theo...wats up?

**NottStupid:** nm...you?

**PrettyPansy:** nm.

**NottStupid:** I can't believe those guys...

**PrettyPansy:** u mean on the blog? ya, they wer mean.

**NottStupid:** Yeah. I mean, just because I can't spell "withhold" right doesn't mean I'm stupid!

**PrettyPansy:** is that wat the new username is from?

**NottStupid:** Yeah.

**PrettyPansy: **wel, its tru. ur not stupid.

**NottStupid:** I know. BTW, "true" has an E on the end.

**PrettyPansy: **y r u telling me this?

**NottStupid: **Because spelling and grammar are important and make you look smart...

**PrettyPansy: **r u saying im dum?!

**NottStupid:** No no no! Of course not! I'm just saying that if you used better grammar...

**PrettyPansy: **r u saying my grammar is bad?!

**NottStupid:** Umm...yes. But only on the blog.

**PrettyPansy: **thats bcuz its a BLOG, theo! ur SUPPOSED 2 use bad grammar on a blog!

**NottStupid:** I beg to differ...

**PrettyPansy:** wel, stop begging. its not attractiv.

**NottStupid: **Wait--what?

**PrettyPansy: **exactly.

* * *

**Grammar Is Your Friend **

**_Theodore Nott _**

I like grammar. Without it, the English language--all languages, really--would fall apart, civilization would crumble, and life as we know it would cease to exist. So why is it that when I spell ONE word wrong, everyone jumps down my throat? WHY?! And when I try to correct their grammar, they all get annoyed with me!

Now, don't get me wrong, I like Pansy. I like her a lot. But that girl NEVER capitalizes anything on the blog, and her constant use of chatspeak is REALLY getting on my nerves! It reminds me of Crabbe and Goyle, and while their blog is entertaining...well, everyone knows how "dum" they are. And when your girlfriend talks like that, it gets kind of annoying.

_

* * *

_

Thank you, toujourspurPAL for suggesting Theodore get his own blog. As you can see, I followed your suggestion...and I'm beginning to like him as well. Maybe because I'm a grammar freak, too...lol.


	100. Chapter 100

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

The Quidditch final was today. Aside from the fact that I didn't even get to see it (thanks to detention with Snape)...well, we won! Yep, Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup again! But that's not the best part...no, not at all.

When I came back from detention, everyone was having a party to celebrate our winning the Cup. So I joined in the party, and then--sort of spontaneously--Ginny and I kissed.

So...now we're going out.

_Very _happy days.

:D

**

* * *

**

Journal of a Young Gryffindor

_**Ginevra Weasley **_

So...we won the Quidditch final...which was awesome.

And then we came back to Gryffindor Tower and had a party, which was also awesome.

Mostly because Harry kissed me.

Yeah, he did! I can't stop grinning...even though my face is sort of starting to hurt...

But I'm just so happy! We're finally going out!

**

* * *

**

**ISpellPieRight: **Hey Mione...what's up?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** nm.

**ISpellPieRight: **Still worried about Draco?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Yeah.

**ISpellPieRight:** It'll be all right. End of the year is coming up...and he should be okay until then.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **I hope so.

**ISpellPieRight:** Don't worry.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **I'll try not to. BTW, Ron?

**ISpellPieRight: **Yeah?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **You're really sweet. 

**ISpellPieRight:** Aww...thanks...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **I mean it!

**ISpellPieRight:** I didn't think you didn't...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Not many guys would do what you've been doing--helping Drake even though you don't like him much...and that's really sweet.

**ISpellPieRight: **If we were in the same room right now I'd hug you.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Well, Umbridge isn't here anymore...we can e-hug...

**ISpellPieRight:** OK. E-hug!

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **E-hug!

**ISpellPieRight: **Hmmm...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **It's just not the same.

**ISpellPieRight:** No...it's not...

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Tomorrow morning, you owe me a hug.

**ISpellPieRight: **Deal. Night, Mione.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Night, Ron.

* * *


	101. Chapter 101

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

So...I got out of the hospital wing. Not much to say there.

Pansy is going out with Theodore. Don't really care. Disappointed, I guess.

The poison is gone. I think--I'm sure--it was Hermione, but I have no idea how she could have possibly gotten in and stolen it without being seen. Maybe she told somebody else--oh crap, what if she did? Damn, now I've got another thing to worry about, as if I didn't have enough crap already...

At least the Cupboard is going (marginally) better...

* * *

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **I think Draco's mad at me.

**ISpellPieRight:** Why do you say that?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **Well...he hasn't been talking to me...and he's kind of been avoiding me.

**ISpellPieRight:** You think he knows?

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** About what--that we stole the poison or that I told you?

**ISpellPieRight:** Both.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory: **I think he might suspect...what do I do?

**ISpellPieRight:** Just let him stew a while, I say.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Should I talk to him?

**ISpellPieRight:** Umm...I think so...just act normal, I think.

**IReadHogwartsAHistory:** Okay. Thanks.

**ISpellPieRight:** np.

**Peeeeennnnnguiiiiinnnnnssss...**

_**Penguins R Fun **_

Frogs can't swallow with their eyes open.

* * *

_Wait--what?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_I needed something to say and that was the first thing I thought of.  
Penguins R Fun _

_All...right then...how are things going with Draco?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Umm...okay...Hermione thinks he's mad at her, though.  
Penguins R Fun _

_Why?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_We told you about the poison, right? Well, Mione thinks he suspects she's the one who stole it and that she told me about it...he hasn't been talking to her or anything...  
Penguins R Fun _

_Oh. Well, just let him alone for a while, and then have Hermione talk to him--just about everyday things, though. Don't want to let him in on anything.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_That's what I told Mione. Why would he be mad at her, though? We're trying to save his life.  
Penguins R Fun _

_Well...he's not exactly thinking normally, if you know what I mean. He might think Hermione is trying to expose him or embarrass him--it's a very private battle he's fighting, after all...  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Oh. I see. Well...thanks, Dad...talk to you later.  
Penguins R Fun _

_Talk to you later, Ron.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

The Cupboard is definitely getting easier. I think it's almost fixed.

That's a good thing, right?

* * *


	102. Chapter 102

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

It's almost done.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

So...during one of the "Order Chats" on the Invisible Blog, Moody told me to find out what YKW wants Draco to do. Actually, he's told me to do that every time I've talked to him. Never mind that I'm lucky when he tells me what our Ancient Runes homework is, or that I don't want to scare him by pressing him for information about YKW. So today I went into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom to see if she knew anything. I didn't find out what I wanted to find out, but I did find out something just as interesting:

Draco is E.

Yep. Draco Malfoy started the Invisible Blog last year as YouCanCallMeE, and none of us ever knew.

Come to think about it, it all makes sense now: He didn't like Umbridge, so he started the blog, joined the IS because he didn't want to clue her into the fact that he was E, then got himself kicked out because he felt bad--probably because of everything Harry, Ron and I said to him on the IB. I mean, I know we never knew we were talking to _him,_ but just thinking about all those awful things I told him makes me want to cry.

Better go tell Moody.

* * *

**Peeeeeennnnnnguiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssss...**

**_Penguins R Fun _**

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

* * *

_Really? That is SO COOL!! Wish I could do that...  
Fervenugen _

_Wouldn't that be AWESOME?!  
Gorkyshlorky _

_HELL YEAH!!  
Fervenugen _

_Ummm...you guys are scaring your mother...  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Oh, come on, Dad! Wouldn't that be cool?  
Fervenugen_

_You've got to admit that would be pretty awesome...  
Moonlighter 57 _

_Moody's on, right?  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Right here. What is it?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Um...well, I didn't find out what YKW wants Draco to do, but I did find out who E is...  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_E? You mean the guy who started this site?  
Moonlighter 57 _

_Really? You know who he is?  
Penguins R Fun _

_That guy was so cool...  
Gorkyshlorky_

_Who is it?  
Fervenugen _

_OK, I don't know if you guys will belive this...but it's Draco.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Wait--what?  
Gorkyshlorky _

_Draco Malfoy is...E?  
Fervenugen _

_You're kidding, right?  
Penguins R Fun _

_And who told you this bit of information?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Moaning Myrtle--the ghost who saw Draco's blog. So you'd think she'd know...  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Are you sure?  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Yes. See, it all makes sense now--he didn't like Umbridge last year, and when he joined the IS he didn't want to, but did it so she wouldn't know he was the one who started this blog, and then he got himself kicked out on purpose because we accidentally called him a jerk to his face...and he's never broken into the personal blogs or anything...  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Sounds plausible...actually, it makes perfect sense. Hmm...he's never broken into the blogs, has he?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_If he ever did, everyone would know.  
Penguins R Fun _

_And Umbridge never found it?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_It's still here and still hidden, isn't it?  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Mad-Eye, we're just going to kidnap him, remember?  
Moonlighter 57 _

_Yes...but still. A Death Eater who is good with computers and wants to escape YKW could prove quite useful.  
Constantly Vigilant _

_We'll ask him AFTER we kidnap him.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

The Cupboard is done.

That's a good thing, right?

Better owl the others...

* * *


	103. Chapter 103

_Thanks oojade and darkangel24700 for sending me this chapter from the book! _

_Oh, and if anyone is interested, I still need the chapters "Malfoy Manor" and all chapters from the start of the battle of Hogwarts to the end of the book (epilogue not included). _

**

* * *

**

Have a Nice Day

**_Me Against the World _**

Dumbledore and I are going to find and destroy one of YKW's horcruxes soon.

I don't know what else to say but that I hope it goes well.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

It's over. The whole...horcrux thing. And it wasn't even a horcrux.

Here's what happened:

Dumbledore and I went to this cave by the sea. It was really spooky--you had to get in by "paying" the doorway with blood, and once inside, there was this huge lake. Dumbledore said he thought the horcrux would be in the middle--and he was right. It was on a tiny island in the middle of the lake--which, by the way, was filled with Inferi. I hope I never have to see one of those things again.

Dumbledore found a tiny boat designed--apparently--to carry only one wizard at a time. But since I'm still underage, it let me ride along to the little island where there was a basin filled with dangerous-looking green potion. Unfortunately, Dumbledore guessed it was meant to be drunk (there was a barrier-type thing that only dropped when he had a cup in his hand).

So he drank it.

I guess it made him hallucinate because he kept staring at something I couldn't see, screaming in agony. The rest of it is sort of a blur now--we got the locket, the Inferi started to attack us, Dumbledore fought them off with fire, and we got back across the lake and then Apparated back to Hogsmeade.

Once we got there, the Dark Mark was hovering in the sky.

I remembered that it was only set off--traditionally--when somebody had been killed. So I was frantic, wondering who it was--was it one of my friends?--and apparently Dumbledore was pretty nervous about it, too. So we borrowed some brooms from Rosmerta and flew back to the school (I was wearing my Invisibility Cloak). Once there, Dumbledore told me to go get Snape, to not take off my Cloak, and not tell anyone what I was doing. I didn't want to leave him, but I did. Or started to, anyway. Because just then, somebody burst through the door, shouted "Expelliarmus!" and suddenly I was frozen. It took me a minute to realize it was Dumbledore who froze me and Malfoy who used the Disarming Charm.

"Good evening, Draco," Dumbledore said. He said it so casually I wondered for an instant if he had forgotten about the Mark.

Malfoy noticed the second broom. "Who else is here?"

"A question I might ask you. Or are you acting alone?" He hadn't forgotten.

He glanced back at the Mark and then looked away. "No. I've got backup. There are Death Eaters in your school tonight."

"Well, well. Very good indeed. You found a way to let them in, did you?" He said it as though Malfoy was showing him a really good homework assignment.

"Yeah," he said, gaze shifting back to the Mark. "I did."

"Ingenious. Yet...forgive me...where are they now? You seem unsupported."

"They...they met some of your guard...I guess they're fighting down below...I--I've got a job to do."

"Well, then, you must get on and do it, my dear boy."

Malfoy stood there, frozen except for his shaking hands.

"Draco, Draco, you are not a killer."

"How...how do you know?" He sounded like a four-year-old asking how his mom knew he'd gotten into the cookies before dinner. "You don't know what I've done." That sentence was whispered.

"Oh yes I do," Dumbledore said. "You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley."

He bit his lip. "Those...that was an accident."

"Yes. They were. Fortunately, they survived...forgive me, Draco, but these attempts to kill me have been so feeble I wondered if your heart was really in it."

One glance at his face and I knew his heart _hadn't_ been in it. Somewhere in the castle, someone screamed.

"Someone is putting up a good fight," Dumbledore said casually. "But you were saying...yes, you have managed to introduce to my school which, I admit, I thought impossible...tell me, how did you do it?"

He didn't move, just stood there, wand pointed at Dumbledore's heart. His hand shook horribly.

"Perhaps you ought to get on with the job alone. What if your backup has been thwarted by my guard? As you perhaps realized, there are members of the Order of the Phoenix here tonight, too. And after all, you don't really need help...I have no wand at the moment...I cannot defend myself."

He still didn't move; just looked from the brooms to the window and back again as if he'd like to make a speedy getaway.

"I see," he said. "You're afraid to act until they join you."

"You're the one who should be scared." Again, it sounded childish.

"But why? I don't think you will kill me, Draco. Killing is not nearly as the innocent believe...So tell me, while we wait for your friends...how did you smuggle them in here? It seems to have taken you a long time to do it."

He hesitated a long time, still looking at the brooms. Then, quietly, "I had to mend that old Vanishing Cupboard. The one Montague got lost in last year."

"Aaaahhhh," Dumbledore half-sighed, half-groaned. "That's clever...there's a pair, I take it?"

"There's another one...in Borgin and Bourkes...and they make a sort of passage between them. All I had to do was fix the broken one."

"Very good...so the Death Eaters were able to pass from Borgin and Bourke's to help you...a clever plan, a very clever plan...and right under my nose..."

"Yeah...it was."

There was another shout, louder this time. I tried to break free of the spell, but couldn't.

"Draco," Dumbledore said, "you are not a killer. I know it, you know it, and I'm sure you know Miss Granger knows it as well." He slipped another inch down the wall as he spoke. "Please...come over to the right side...we can help you..."

"No you can't!" His wand hand started shaking even worse. "Nobody can!" Then, more quietly, "I've--I've got to do it...he said he'll kill me--he'll kill my whole family!"

I didn't understand how Dumbledore could look and sound so sympathetic. His next words were very quiet.

"Draco...we can help your family. The Order can hide you more completely than you could possibly imagine...and what's more, I could send Order members to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Your father is safe in Azkaban...when the time comes, we can hide him too...please, Draco...come over to the right side...you are not a killer."

I'd like to think that, given a few more minutes, Malfoy would have taken Dumbledore up on his offer. His wand hand slowly dropped to his side, then snapped back up again when four people in black robes burst in.

"Dumbledore cornered!" a chubby man said to an equally chubby woman next to him. "Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone! Well done, Draco, well done!"

I guess Malfoy was doing his best to look excited, but he ended up looking sort of sick.

"Good evening, Amycus," Dumbledore said. I still don't know how he could be so calm. "And you've brought Alecto too...charming..."

Alecto laughed. "Think your little jokes will help you on your deathbed, then?"

"Jokes? No, these are manners."

"Do it," said a big man near me. His voice was...raspy, almost like a growl, and he smelled awful.

"Is that you, Fenrir?" Dumbledore asked.

"That's right," he said. "Pleased to meet me, Dumbledore?"

"No, I cannot say that I am..."

Fenrir grinned, and blood trickled down his chin. I didn't want to wonder whose blood it was, but couldn't stop myself. "But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore."

"Am I to take it you are attacking even without the full moon now? That is most unusual...you have developed a taste for human flesh that cannot be satisfied once a month?"

"That's right. Shocks you, that, doesn't it, Dumbledore? Frightens you?"

"Well, I cannot say it doesn't disgust me a little. And yes, I am a little shocked that Draco invited you, of all people, into the school where his friends live..."

"I didn't," Malfoy whispered. "I didn't know he was going to come--"

"I wouldn't miss a trip to Hogwarts, Dumbledore," Fenrir said. "Not where there are throats to be ripped out...delicious...delicious..."

Draco looked like he was going to puke, which is what I probably would have done, had I not been frozen.

"I could do you for afters, Dumbledore..."

"No," said one of the Death Eaters. "We've got orders. Draco's got to do it. Do now, Draco, and do it quickly."

"He's not even long for this world, anyway, if you ask me!' Amycus said. Alecto giggled. "Look at him – what's happened to you, then, Dumby?"

"Oh, weaker resistance, slower reflexes, Amycus," said Dumbledore. "Old age, in short . . . one day, perhaps, it will happen to you . . . if you are lucky."

"What's that mean, then, what's that mean? Always the same, weren't yeh, Dumby, talking and doing nothing, nothing, I don't even know why the Dark Lord's bothering to kill yeh! Come on, Draco, do it!"

Malfoy didn't move. Just then, someone yelled, "_They've blocked the stairs – Reducto! REDUCTO!"_

"Now, Draco, quickly!"

But his hand was shaking so badly I don't think he could have aimed if he had wanted to.

"I'll do it," said Greyback, and he started moving toward Dumbledore, but Amycus blasted him out of the way.

"Draco, do it, or stand aside so one of us –" Alecto didn't finish her sentence before Snape burst through the door to the ramparts.

"We've got a problem, Snape," said Amycus, "the boy doesn't seem able –"

"Severus..."

Something about the way Dumbledore said his name scared me--he said it so softly, pleading...I get chills just thinking about it.

Snape said nothing. He just barged forward, pushed Malfoy out of the way, gazing at Dumbledore with revulsion and hatred.

"Severus...please..."

"_Avada Kedavra_!" There was a flash of green light, and Dumbledore was dead.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

We did our best to keep the Death Eaters from hurting anyone--though I guess it was the Order who did most of the work. It was hard to tell--everything was moving so fast that it's all a blur now--but nobody was killed. Nobody in the Order or the DA or anything, anyway. Bill got bit by Greyback, so he'll be scarred for life, but we're all just glad he's okay.

After Snape killed Dumbledore, Harry ran after them down the stairs, but didn't catch them before they got past the gates and Disapparated. Once the battle was over, he told me and Mione everything that had happened. Worst of all, we found out that the locket they'd found was just a decoy, something set up by R.A.B., a guy who found the real horcrux.

Hermione is really upset. Once she heard about Malfoy, she started crying, and when she heard the details of what happened in the tower, she cried harder. Combine that with the fact that Dumbledore is dead and...well, I just wish I could do something for her, but nothing I say seems to help.

I don't know how we're going to get through this mess.

* * *

**Subject: To E**

Draco? It's me, Hermione. Look, I know you're E. Myrtle told me a few weeks ago. And I know you didn't kill Dumbledore. I know you didn't want to--Harry told me everything.

The Order knows about you, Drake. They know you didn't want to join YKW and they know you didn't kill Dumbledore. Don't freak out; I told them because I knew they'd want to help you. And they do. They want to help you, if you'll help them.

Please, Drake...just hold on for a few more days. And talk to me. Please. Talk to me.

**Posted by: Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever **

* * *


	104. Chapter 104

**I Like Pie**

**_Eater of Pie _**

Dumbledore's funeral was today. It was nice--for a funeral, I mean. As nice as something that sad can be, I guess. Everyone who knew Dumbledore came--all the teachers but Snape, almost all the students, Hagrid, Grawp, Madame Malkins, even Filch and Madame Pince. The merpeople and centaurs each gave their own lament, and so did his pet phoenix. It was cool. Dumbledore didn't deserve any less.

Hermione and I sat together, in silence except for the sound of her sniffling quietly. After a minute, I put my arm around her, and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay," I whispered, even though I didn't believe it.

She looked up at me. "Will it?"

"Yeah. We've still got Harry...and he knows what'll defeat You-Know-Who, right?"

"That won't help Draco, though."

"Maybe it will. You've messaged him, right?"

"Yeah." She sniffled again. "But he hasn't replied or anything."

Another pause, and after that we didn't speak until the service was over. After it ended, we just sat there for a moment, me hugging her with one arm and she leaning against my shoulder. I put the other arm around her, and she buried her face in my shoulder, crying.

"I'm so scared, Ron..."

"Shhh..."

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, but she finally pulled away and we joined Harry, standing off to the side. All three of us stared at the castle for a long moment.

"Wonder what's going to happen to Hogwarts...now that Dumbledore's gone?" I said.

"Think they'll close it down?"

"Even if it stays open, I'm not coming back." We both turned and stared at Harry. "You-Know-Who has more horcruxes out there...and I'll have to find them. Defeat him. Soon as I turn seventeen."

"We're coming with you," I said.

Harry protested. "No, I can't put you guys in that kind of danger..."

"We're still coming with you," Hermione said.

"End of July, then. I'm leaving once I turn seventeen."

"We'll have to wait a few more days."

"A few more--why?"

"Bill and Fleur's wedding, of course. We can't miss that."

Harry and Hermione smiled slightly. I guess they were both thinking the same thing I was: Even though the world is falling apart and we're about to risk our lives to defeat the most evil wizard who ever lived, we'll at least have one more day of happiness before we leave.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

I broke up with Ginny.

It was hard--I didn't want to break up with her, but I knew I had to. If she and I keep dating, eventually she could get hurt--tortured or even killed--and I can't let that happen. I told her as much at Dumbledore's funeral.

"You're doing this for some stupid noble reason, aren't you?"

I was, but I hardly think my reasons are stupid. She didn't make it any easier, but she finally agreed.

I wish we could have kept dating. It would have made this whole quest just a bit easier.

**

* * *

**

The Invisible Man

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't kill Dumbledore.

In the end, Snape did it...but YKW was still pissed at me. REALLY pissed. Ugh...I don't even want to think about it. But he decided to let me live, mostly because I still managed to get Death Eaters into Hogwarts which, as Dumbledore himself said, was thought impossible.

I almost wish he hadn't been so nice...that he'd just killed me and gotten it over with...but...I don't know. When I saw Mom, she was really glad I was okay. So I guess I'm glad he let me live, if it makes Mom happy.

Hermione left a message for me on this blog, all about how she wants to talk...and how she told the Order about me. I KNEW she'd told someone...just not the Order. I'd thought she only told Potter or Weasley...but not the Order. Even though she told me not to freak out, I'm still freaking out. What if _they _decide to kill me instead? And Mom and Dad?

I'll talk to her.

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Mione?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Draco! How are you? Are you okay?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah...I'm fine.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** That's good...great, actually.

**YouCanCallMeE:** I...um, I got your message thingy.

**GooGooDools4Ever:** The one I posted on the main blog?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah. You told the Order about me?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Why?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Actually, I didn't tell the Order...I told Ron and Ron told his dad and his dad told the Order.

**YouCanCallMeE:** How many more people know?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Just them and Harry.

**YouCanCallMeE:** God...why'd you tell so many people?!

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Because I was worried about you!

**YouCanCallMeE: **So you told the people who want me dead?!

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** They don't want YOU dead, they want YKW dead. And they're able to distinguish one from the other.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Mione...

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** You know what made them decide to try and help you? When I told them you were going to kill yourself. THAT'S when they decided to help you.

**YouCanCallMeE: **You TOLD them that?!

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yes! Because I don't want you to die and neither do they!

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Drake? Are you still there?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah, I'm still here.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Look, I'm sorry I told them...but they really do want to help you.

**YouCanCallMeE: **You said they'd help me if I helped them.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yes.

**YouCanCallMeE:** What would that mean?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **So you're going to do it? Meet with the Order?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah...wait...meet?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yes.

**YouCanCallMeE:** You mean...in person?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **How else? They want to make sure you're alone. You know...that nobody's reading over your shoulder or anything--because if we met online, that'd be a problem.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Nobody's reading over my shoulder now.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** I didn't think anyone was, but you can never be sure.

**YouCanCallMeE:** When?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** When is your birthday?

**YouCanCallMeE:** June 5th.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** I'll talk to the others. They were thinking June 10th.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **It'll be late--probably midnight or later--so everyone else will be asleep. I'll talk to the others.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Don't tell anyone. Just keep acting the way you're acting, so nobody will get suspicious.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I'm going to meet with the Order.

Hopefully they won't kill me.

* * *

_The dialogue at the end of Ron's post wasn't lifted straight from the book, as you can probably tell, but I got it as close as I could. So, again, please don't sue me. _


	105. Chapter 105

_All right, I just got an anonymous (sort of) review that I can't reply to, so I'll reply to it here: I KNOW the whole Dramione thing wasn't in the books. I know I'm sort of getting away from canon here. In the description of this story, I classify it as "moderately AU." So forgive me for not sticking entirely to the books, but this is the direction the story led me in, so this is the direction I'm going. _

* * *

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Drake?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Hey Mione.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Hey. Um, I got all the details sorted out with the Order and everything...

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay...

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** They said to wait in the alley behind the coffee shop on Charing Cross Road at 2:37 AM on June 10th.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay...so, just Apparate there?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yes. And they said to just wear your PJs in case you wake your parents up when you sneak back inside your house or something.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** And (Moody told me to add this) don't bring anyone along, because he'll know.

**YouCanCallMeE: **I wasn't planning on it...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I didn't think you were, but y'know...just making sure...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay. I'll be there.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **By the way, how was your birthday?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay, I guess. Not the best.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Oh. I'm sorry...

**YouCanCallMeE: **I got a Firebolt, which was cool, and a watch, equally cool, but Mom seemed to be the only one interested, y'know?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah. That's really sad...especially since you turned seventeen and all.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Well...see you at the meeting, then.

**YouCanCallMeE: **See you there. Wait--you'll be there, right?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Of course. I told my parents I'd be visiting some friends for a few days once I got home--which wasn't really a lie--so I'll be there.

**

* * *

**

**Peeeeennnnnnguiiinnnnnssssss...**

**_Penguins R Fun _**

Um...hi.

* * *

_He's coming!  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_He is? Great! You told him the time and place and everything?  
Moonlighter 57_

_Yeah! And he said he'll be there!  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_You didn't tell him where we're actually meeting, did you?  
Constantly Vigilant _

_No. And yes, I did tell him not to bring anyone along, just like you told me to.  
Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _

_Good.  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Hey...are we invited?  
Gorkyshlorky_

_Of course! It's in your apartment, after all.  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Sweet! Hey, Fred, we've got snacks, right?  
Gorkyshlorky _

_Of course! What's a pajama party without snacks?  
Fervenugen _

_This isn't a pajama party. It's a meeting between the Order of the Phoenix and a likely ally.  
Constantly Vigilant _

_Whatever you say. I say that when a bunch of people get together in their PJs, it's a pajama party.  
Fervenugen _

_Mad-Eye's right...this is more serious than you're making it out to be...  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_Oh, come on, Dad! We KNOW how serious it is.  
Gorkyshlorky _

_We just thought it might put Malfoy more at ease if we had snacks.  
Fervenugen _

_They have a point...  
Penguins R Fun _

_Oh, all right. But NO Edible Dark Marks!  
Muggle Fan 18 _

_We weren't planning on having those...  
Gorkyshlorky _

_Nobody likes them, anyway.  
Fervenugen _

**

* * *

**

The Invisible Man

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I'm meeting with the Order tonight.

Here's hoping it goes well.

Hermione's really excited that I'm coming...so I guess I don't have much to worry about...but it could still be a trap.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

The Order meeting was last night--or this morning, I should say. I'm tired, but elated.

Moody and I were waiting behind the coffee shop by 2:34 AM, and the next three minutes were the slowest ever--even slower than DADA with Professor Snape. I kept worrying that he wouldn't show up, and Moody kept checking his watch, but he finally showed up just as Moody announced it was 2:37.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey." He looked strange, wearing a hooded cloak over his pajamas, but I guess he didn't look any stranger than Moody and I did, standing out in a dark alley in our pajamas and slippers.

"He wasn't followed, was he?" I whispered to Moody, who shook his head. Then, to Draco: "What nickname did you give me to make fun of 'Won-Won' and 'Lav-Lav'?" (The Ministry's recommended that when meeting, everyone ask everyone else a question that only they can answer, to make sure it's not a Polyjuiced Death Eater--or a Polyjuiced anyone, for that matter.)

He smiled. "You were Shiny Mione."

I couldn't help but smile, too. "Come on." I grabbed his hand and Moody grabbed mine, and together we Apparated into Fred and George's apartment above their shop. (Draco didn't know this, though. We had made sure of it by drawing all the curtains and removing anything that might help him identify where we were. Moody insisted.) The candlelight illuminated the faces of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ron, Fred, George and Lupin, all in their pajamas, sitting on the floor. A plate of snacks sat in the middle, but nobody seemed all that interested.

"Hello there," Mr. Weasley said.

"Welcome to the--"

"--unofficial--"

"Order of the Phoenix Pajama Party!" Fred and George said. I glanced at Draco. He was, like me, smiling. Moody released my hand, but I still held Draco's as I led him to an open spot on the floor next to Ron. I could tell he was still nervous, so I squeezed his hand just before I released it.

"You probably know what this meeting is about," Mr. Weasley said once we were all situated.

"You want me to help you so you'll help me, and I'm here because you're telling me how I can help you so you'll help me."

"Yes. Though it's not nearly so complicated as you're making it out to be."

"We all want the same thing," Lupin cut in.

"Yeah," George added, "We want Phil dead!"

I've never seen Draco look so confused. "Phil? Who's--"

"_Will you stop calling him that_?!" Mrs. Weasley hissed. "It's offensive enough--"

"It's not offensive, it's hilarious! And it's not like we're saying his _real _name--"

"No, it's worse! Why can't you just call him You-Know-Who like everyone else?"

"Because Phil is funnier!"

Around this time Draco started putting the pieces together, matching up nicknames with more nicknames, then matching the newest nickname (Phil) with YKW's appearance. He started to smile, then bit his lip to hold back a laugh. His muffled laughter ended the argument.

"See, Mom? _He _thinks it's hilarious!"

"You're just being uptight!"

Mrs. Weasley sighed, and the argument was over.

"We all want You-Know-Who dead," Lupin continued. "You included, I would imagine."

Draco didn't argue.

"So, if you help us acheive _our _goal, you will, in the process, acheive _your _goal. Phil is gone, and everyone's happy."

"Except Phil," Fred added.

A pause. "But...what about my family? If I go against him--"

"Who ever said he has to know?" said Fred.

"It's sort of in the job description," I added.

"But--"

"If there's any sign of trouble, we'll hide you and your family."

There was a long pause as he considered this. Finally, "What would I have to do?"

"You're good with blogs, good at keeping them hidden," Moody said.

"You made the IB fifth year and Umbit--Um_bridge_--never found it," said Ron.

"And you want me to do the same thing for you?"

Mr. Weasley nodded. "Only more secure. We were thinking something with Patronuses?"

"I can't cast a Patronus."

"I can teach you," I said. "Over the blog--the IB, while you work on the new one."

Another pause, then he nodded.

"You'll do it?"

"Yeah."

I could have hugged him.

The meeting went on a while longer while we sorted out the details--who gets admin powers and whatnot--and how we'll keep it secure. By the time we all left, it was almost 4 AM, and Draco looked considerably less nervous. What's more, he looked_ happy_. Just before he left, I stopped him.

"You said your birthday kind of sucked...so I wanted to give you this." I handed him a card. "It's not fancy or magic or anything..." I trailed off as he opened it and laughed. (It was just a Muggle card that had a picture of an old lady on the outside and said "Dear, sweet old Aunt Edna, all 4'9" and 95 pounds of her, wants you to have a very happy birthday!" and then on the inside it says "So don't make dear, sweet old Aunt Edna come over there and kick your butt!" I'd also put a few Galleons in it.)

He hugged me. "Thanks. So...see you later, I guess."

"See you online."

"Yeah."

He smiled--a genuine smile--then Disapparated.

* * *


	106. Chapter 106

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** So how did it go? The meeting, I mean.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He's going to help us.

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** He is? That's great!

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah, it really is!

**EaterOfPie:** Hopefully nothing goes wrong...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **You mean, hopefully he won't turn on us? I don't think he will.

**EaterOfPie: **Neither do I, but still...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Snape did.

**EaterOfPie:** Yeah, but he's so...Snape.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah. And I think we can trust Drake.

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah. I think you're right.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Mum and Dad didn't catch me when I snuck back into the house last night, and neither did Aunt Spazzy. If they knew I'd left, they'd be grilling me right now...fortunately I had a story in case that happened. But it didn't, so I'm safe.

The meeting went really well. Obviously they didn't kill me...lol. They were actually really...nice. And towards the end (around 4 AM), it started to seem more like (as the Weasleys said) the unofficial Order of the Phoenix Pajama Party than a meeting--they had snacks and everything.

As for the meeting part, they asked me to help them by creating a secure blog, which I agreed to. The way Lupin put it, "By helping us acheive our goal, you will, in the process, acheive your goal." (That goal being Phil (aka YKW) dead and everyone but Phil happy. Well, Phil and Aunt Spazzy...ugh.)

Just before we left, Hermione gave me a birthday present--a Muggle card with three Galleons inside. Here's what it looks like:

**Outside: **Picture of a sweet-looking old lady (that doesn't move!). "Dear, sweet old Aunt Edna, all 4'9" and 95 pounds of her, wants you to have a very happy birthday!"

**Inside: **"So don't make dear, sweet old Aunt Edna come over there and kick your butt!"

It made me laugh, even though the fact that Aunt Edna doesn't move kind of creeps me out. She just...looks at you. Hermione explained that it's a Muggle picture and therefore doesn't move, but it's still kind of creepy.

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey...Mione?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah?

**YouCanCallMeE: **You know how you said you'd teach me how to cast a Patronus?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** You ready to start?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, but I don't really have a place to practice...y'know, without Mum, Dad or Aunt Spazzy seeing...

**EaterOfPie: **Who's Aunt Spazzy?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Bellatrix Lestrange.

**EaterOfPie:** She's your AUNT?!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...

**EaterOfPie: **Wow. Poor you.

**MuggleFan18: **Draco, does your house have a cellar?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah, but I can't really use it...too many people coming and going. BTW, who is this?

**MuggleFan18: **Mr. Weasley.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oh. Hi!

**EaterOfPie:** Too many people coming and going...must be one fun cellar.

**YouCanCallMeE: **You can say that...

**Moonlighter57: **Remus Lupin here. I was just thinking about the whole Patronus problem...how big is your bathroom?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Which one? We have five.

**Moonlighter57:** The one closest to your room.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Pretty big...why?

**MuggleFan18: **Wait--you're not suggesting he learn how to cast a Patronus in the bathroom, are you?

**Moonlighter57: **Why not? It's the most private room in the house...and bathrooms usually don't have windows.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **He has a point.

**Moonlighter57: **How close is it to your room?

**YouCanCallMeE: **There's a door that opens right to it, and no other doors lead in.

**EaterOfPie: **You mean you have your own bathroom?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah...

**EaterOfPie: **Lucky!

**Moonlighter57:** Anyway...does this bathroom have any windows?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Nope.

**Moonlighter57: **Then it's perfect!

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah! You can just stuff a towel under the door or something so nobody will see the light!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Put up a Caterwauling Charm so I can hear if anyone's coming in?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Exactly! And if we do this late at night, you won't have that problem!

**YouCanCallMeE**: Wow...I never thought I'd be learning to cast a Patronus--let alone in the bathroom...

**EaterOfPie: **Well, like Lupin said, it IS the most private room in the house...thank God...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **lol! So...be online tonight at...when does most of your family fall asleep?

**YouCanCallMeE:** They're usually in bed by 1 AM.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **1:30, then? Just to be safe?

**YouCanCallMeE: **1:30 it is.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater Of Pie _**

I never thought I'd be jealous of Draco Malfoy.

Sure, I've been jealous of the fact that his family is filthy stinkin' rich, and now I'm even more jealous of that since I found out he has his own bathroom, but not because of a girl. Not because of Hermione. He had always dated Pansy Parkinson, I'd always dated girls from Gryffindor, and that was that.

But ever since he's dated Hermione...well, I know it was fake-dating (that's what Mione said, anyways), but still. I sit back and read their conversations on the IB, and I see how close they are, and I can't help but wonder...does she really like him? As more than a friend, I mean. I wish I could ask her, but unless I got my hands on some Veritaserum, I couldn't be sure that she wouldn't be lying.

I can't decide...should I back off or not?

It's times like this when I think I should--when I read what they say to each other on the IB, talking and joking about casting Patronuses in the bathroom, and I remember how hard she cried when she heard he was thinking about suicide. She obviously cares for him.

But then, I wonder if I'd be wrong in backing off--when I think back to Dumbledore's funeral, after she heard about Draco, how upset she was when I started dating Lavender. When she was upset, she turned to me. (Except for when I caused it; then she made a bunch of canaries attack me. Very unpleasant.)

Hmmmm...

Maybe I'll ask her out and see what she says. If she says no, I'll back off. If she says yes...woot!

* * *

_TOLD you it'd end up Ron/Hermione! That is, if Hermione says yes..._


	107. Chapter 107

**HorseLuver14:** It's about time!

**EaterOfPie:** What do you mean?

**HorseLuver14: **Ron, she's had a crush on you for...like, ever!

**EaterOfPie: **Since when are you two on such friendly terms?

**HorseLuver14: **Since last summer, when she came to stay with us.

**EaterOfPie: **And you've been best friends ever since.

**HorseLuver14: **We're not best friends or anything, but I'm not blind. I can tell she likes you.

**EaterOfPie: **Harry?

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** She likes you.

**HorseLuver14: **See? Harry agrees.

**EaterOfPie: **You're sure?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Remember when you started going out with Lav-Lav?

**EaterOfPie: **Don't remind me.

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Well, remember when we found her in that empty classroom crying?

**HorseLuver14: **She was crying because she likes you. A LOT.

**EaterOfPie:** Gee, thank you both for reminding me of that. Now that it's been established I should ask her out...

**HorseLuver14: **Do it soon.

**EaterOfPie:** How soon?

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Today or tomorrow, if possible...

**HorseLuver14: **But she's not coming for another week!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **So?

**HorseLuver14:** So...you can't ask her out online! That's tacky!

**EaterOfPie: **O...kay...

**HorseLuver14: **Do it once she comes.

**EaterOfPie: **How? Since I can't do it online...

**MeAgainstTheWorld**: You could just ask her...

**HorseLuver14**: Or do something cute...

**EaterOfPie**: Um...I'm thinking I'll just ask her...

* * *

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Okay, you ready?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Think so...

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Bathroom's secure?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Wow...just realized how weird that sounds...but yeah. I even used a charm that makes it so whoever comes close to where you are doesn't hear what you're saying.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Muffliato?

**YouCanCallMeE:** You know that one?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah...Harry heard it somewhere.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Oh. Well, I'm ready whenever you are...

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Okay, think of something happy. A happy memory, something vivid.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay...I've got it.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Okay, focus on that memory...then point your wand and say "Expecto Patronum."

**YouCanCallMeE:** One second...

**YouCanCallMeE: **It didn't work.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Did anything happen?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Just some silver light, but it vanished pretty fast.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Your memory probably wasn't strong enough. Try something stronger. Happier.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Stronger...hold on...okay...got it.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Still didn't work.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Well, don't expect to get it on the first try. It's pretty hard.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Just keep trying. You'll get it eventually.

* * *

**Moonlighter57:** So how is the online class in Advanced Patronus Casting going?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Okay...we've been at it a few days, and he still hasn't managed to cast one...which is normal.

**Moonlighter57:** Yes, it's normal. How strong is the memory he's using?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** I'm not sure...I didn't think it polite to ask.

**Moonlighter57: **You might want to...just to make sure it's strong enough.

**ConstantlyVigilant: **We need that blog up ASAP.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **I know, I know...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Did you tell him to expect something to happen?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **No...

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Maybe you should...that's how I first cast one--a real one. Since I knew I could, I did.

**Gorkyshlorky: **If you believe in yourself...

**Fervenugen: **...and with a tiny bit of magic...

**Gorkyshlorky: **...all of your dreams will come true!

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Um...okay...

**HorseLuver14: **BTW, Hermione, are you almost ready to come to stay with us?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yep. Got all my stuff packed, my parents are safe...

**HorseLuver14: **Because we have a surprise for you once you get here...

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **That sounds ominous...

**Fervenugen: **Maybe it is... o.0

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

I think Ron is going to ask me out.

Ginny said there's "a surprise" for me once I get to the Burrow...and I think that's what it is. I think Ron is going to ask me out.

YAY!

* * *


	108. Chapter 108

_Once again, I blame HPL for my lack of knowledge that Hermione can't cast a Patronus very well. It will be addressed in later chapters. _

_This has been your online class in Advanced Blame Casting for Death Eaters. Thank you. _

* * *

**I Like Pie**

**_Eater of Pie _**

I can't do this.

I can't ask Hermione out.

Go ahead--call me a chicken. All I know is that I can't do it.

What if she says no?

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

Never mind that last blog post...because I made a very, very big mistake.

I told Ginny I wasn't going to ask her.

The reaction was instantaneous--and about as explosive as locking Fred and George in a room filled with fireworks.

"You can't _not _ask her out, Ron! It's now or never, and if you don't do it now, she'll never go out with you! You've had two years to ask her, and she's going to get impatient and run off with some other guy and he'll be like 'Remember Ron?' and she'll be like 'Ron who?' and you'll be sitting there crying into your ice cream, watching them act all happy and--"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" I yelled. "I'll ask her out!"

"Do it cute."

"Cute? Not only do I have to ask her out, but I have to do it _cute_?!"

"Nothing fancy...just a flower or something. Girls like flowers."

So Ginny and I went out to the garden and picked some flowers. Actually, that's not totally true. _Ginny _picked some flowers while I watched, and when it was all over, I told her it looked nice. And it did, but even if it didn't, I wasn't about to tell her that. And I don't know that I'd know the difference between a nice arrangement and a bad one. I think it's more of a girl thing to notice stuff like that.

Hermione comes tomorrow--which, thanks to Ginny, will be the same day I ask her out.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

So...I got to the Burrow today...

...and Ron asked me out!

When I got there, Mrs. Weasley hugged me, said hi...all the normal arriving-at-the-Burrow stuff. When I asked where Ron was, she said he was in the backyard. I sort of suspected he was going to ask me out, thanks to Ginny's vague tip and the fact that Mrs. Weasley was having a hard time holding back a grin.

"He's waiting for you," she said.

I nodded and went out to the backyard. There was Ron, holding a bouquet of wildflowers, which he handed to me, wearing this really sheepish grin on his face.

"Here," he said. "I, uh, I got these for you..."

I grinned--I couldn't help it--and thanked him. He stood there for a minute, looking at the ground, before he finally met my gaze.

"I, uh...I was wondering...um...will you go out with me?"

I laughed and threw my arms around him. "So that's a yes?" he said.

I pulled back and kissed his cheek. "Of course it's a yes!"

He laughed, relieved, then kissed me again.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

She said yes!

I asked Hermione out today, and she said yes!

I did it just like Ginny told me to--only without the dancing tubas...no, that was Fred's suggestion...But I did use flowers. And I didn't make any speech about how much she meant to me...just asked her if she'd go out with me. I probably sounded pretty stupid...but she said yes anyway!

I can't stop grinning.

* * *


	109. Chapter 109

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Guess what?

**YouCanCallMeE:** What?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Ron asked me out!

**YouCanCallMeE:** He did? When?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Today! When I got to the Weasley's house!

**YouCanCallMeE:** That's great, Mione! Guess our little scheme worked, then?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah! So...how's Patronus casting coming?

**YouCanCallMeE:** I still can't do it. I've racked my brain for every happy memory I've got, and still nothing.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Hmmm...I'm going to ask Harry and Lupin to teach you, is that OK?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Harry and Lupin? Why?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Well, I have a confession to make...I'm not too good at casting a Patronus...

**YouCanCallMeE:** Really?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah...I know the theory, but it's not really my forte...you know?

**YouCanCallMeE:** And Harry and Lupin are better?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Well, Harry DID manage to cast one third year...and Lupin is the one who taught him...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay...third year? Really?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah...

**YouCanCallMeE:** Cool.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** So I'll tell them, and they'll be online in a few days same time you are.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Keep practicing, meanwhile.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay. See you later.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Ron asked Hermione out today.

And I have no idea why I'm jealous. I mean, we only started "dating" because she wanted to make Ron jealous and I wanted to do the same with Pansy, but once it backfired with Pansy...I guess I kind of started to doubt that it'd work with Ron. Or maybe I hoped it wouldn't.

Maybe it's that when I started dating Pansy, I liked her. She was cool, pretty, fun to be around...and then she dumped me. Then Hermione and I started fake-dating and...I don't know...she's so different from Pansy. Good different--she's smart, nice, fun to talk to...

I guess I was hoping she'd go out with me.

On top of that, I still can't cast a Patronus. Mione said Harry and Lupin are going to start teaching me soon, which means I won't get to talk with Mione as much.

Guess it's just as well.

* * *

**Moonlighter57: **Draco? Are you on?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yep. Bathroom is secure once again.

**Moonlighter57: **Harry?

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Right here.

**Moonlighter57:** Okay, let's get started. What has Hermione taught you so far?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Just the basic theory--pick a happy memory, focus on it, say "Expecto Patronum"...

**Moonlighter57: **What memories have you been using?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Everything. Birthday parties, my first day at Hogwarts, the day I got my first wand, getting onto Slytherin's Quidditch team...

**Moonlighter57: **Those aren't strong enough.

**YouCanCallMeE: **What do you mean?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **They've got to be stronger. Happier.

**YouCanCallMeE: **What's happier than a birthday party?

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **I dunno...something more recent?

**YouCanCallMeE:** ...things haven't been to happy around here...

**Moonlighter57: **Then don't use something happy.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Wait--what?

**Moonlighter57: **Sometimes happiness is hard to come by, and focusing on happy things from the past doesn't work. Draco, think of something...hopeful.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Hopeful?

**Moonlighter57: **Yes. Maybe a person...someone you know who cares about you.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay...hold on...got it.

**Moonlighter57: **You have something?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah.

**Moonlighter57: **Is it strong?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah.

**Moonlighter57:** Try it, then.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Okay...here goes...

**YouCanCallMeE: **I DID IT!!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **You did?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah! I did!

**Moonlighter57: **Way to go!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **What is it? What form?

**YouCanCallMeE: **It's a bird...a falcon!

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Sweet!

**Moonlighter57: **That's awesome, Draco!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...it looks so cool! All silvery and stuff...

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I cast a Patronus!

I can't believe it..._I cast a Patronus!! _

It's a falcon...and it looks so cool, flying around the bathroom in the dark, all silvery and stuff...

And it's funny, how I finally cast one. Harry and Lupin started teaching me, and Lupin told me not to focus on something happy--focus on something hopeful instead.

So I did.

And it's funny, the thought I used. Because at the time it made me feel sort of guilty, but the more I thought about it, the more hopeful it seemed. I kept thinking back to what Hermione said on the blog: "I don't want you to die."

She doesn't want me to die.

* * *

_In case you're wondering why Draco managed to cast one in less time than it took Harry, it's because 1) Draco is older and better at magic than Harry was when he learned the Patronus Charm, 2) he's been practicing every night and whenever his parents and "Aunt Spazzy" leave the house during the day, and 3) he's managed to cast the silvery smoke stuff; all he needed was something stronger to focus on. _


	110. Chapter 110

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Anyone on?

**EaterOfPie:** I am...

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Hey Ron...what's up?

**EaterOfPie:** nm. Woke up too early. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I got on here.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Same here. I didn't think anyone else would be on this early.

**EaterOfPie:** Me neither. So how are things in Muggle Land?

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Boring. Muggle-ish. Where's Mione?

**EaterOfPie: **Still asleep.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Anyone on?

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Me...

**EaterOfPie: **Me too...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Ron, is your dad up?

**EaterOfPie: **I can get him up...why?

**YouCanCallMeE: **OK, last night YKW held this meeting thingy, and basically, he knows you're going to move Harry to the home of someone in the Order next Saturday night.

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** He does? How'd he find out?

**YouCanCallMeE**: Snape said he had "a source," but didn't say who it was. It's not Dawlish, BTW--they know he's been Confunded.

**MuggleFan18: **I'm here...what's this about YKW knowing we're moving Harry?

**YouCanCallMeE: **He knows you're moving him next Saturday night to the home of someone in the Order.

**MuggleFan18:** Crap...did he say whose house?

**YouCanCallMeE:** No. I don't think he knows. But he knows that wherever it is, it's REALLY protected.

**MuggleFan18: **This isn't good...did he say anything else? Who told him this?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I don't know. Snape just said he had "a source," but didn't say who it was. BTW, he knows Dawlish has been Confunded...

**MuggleFan18: **Great...this is just great. All right then, I'll tell the others and we'll change our plans. Thanks for warning us, Draco.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah.

* * *

**The Invisible Man**

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I guess I did my first spy-like thing today: I told the Order that YKW knew they were planning on moving Harry early.

I don't know why...but I can't stop shaking. I know I did the right thing--telling them and all--but what if YKW finds out it was me who told them?

Let's just hope he doesn't. I'd rather not think about the alternative.

* * *

**ConstantlyVigilant:** And you're sure?

**MuggleFan18:** He had the date right.

**Moonlighter57:** This sets us back a lot...

**ConstantlyVigilant:** I suppose we'll just have to change our plans.

**MuggleFan18:** We'll have to take Draco's safety into account. I mean, we can't get the person who told us this killed!

**Moonlighter57:** Yes...but how do we change the date without YKW knowing? The minute he arrives, he'll know someone told.

**Gorkyshlorky: **So don't change the date.

**MuggleFan18: **Come again?

**ConstantlyVigilant:** How do you two keep popping up?

**Fervenugen: **It's called Internet addiction, Mr. Moody. Like George was saying, the way you get past the whole changing-the-date thing is by NOT changing the date.

**ConstantlyVigilant:** That solves nothing.

**Moonlighter57:** Wait...I think he's onto something.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Just take Harry a few nights before, then send a double on Saturday. We can protect that double the same way we'd protect the real Harry, so YKW would never know the difference!

**Moonlighter57: **And he wouldn't know someone tipped us off because it would look like we'd planned it all along! Brilliant!

**ConstantlyVigilant: **I've begun to rethink my opinion of you...

**MuggleFan18: **Your mother and I have just decided you're geniuses.

**Fervenugen: **Thanks, Mom.

* * *

_So far, darkangel24700 has volunteered to do "The Flaw in the Plan" and "King's Cross," and EvilLittleNerd1981 volunteered to do "Malfoy Manor." A big THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I PLACE A BLESSING ON YOUR HEAD AND THE HEADS OF YOUR GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDCHILDREN to them and anyone else who volunteers to do the other chapters I'll need. C'mon...your great-great-great grandchildren will thank you..._


	111. Chapter 111

**The Joke's on You **

**_Gorkyshlorky and Fervenugen _**

Our plan took effect today.

No, not the one that involves Umbitch, a toilet, a tuba, and a scream of terror--we still haven't worked out all the bugs in that one. But it _is_ coming, so don't be disappointed.

We're talking about the plan that involves getting Harry out of Muggle-Land before YKW shows up without getting Draco in trouble. Yep. The Order decided to go with it, and it went off without a hitch.

They should listen to us more often.

**

* * *

**

Have a Nice Day

**_Me Against the World _**

Well, it's official. I've finally left the Dursley's.

It was kind of weird--it happened so fast. One minute I was there, getting my stuff together, and then two Aurors showed up and escorted the Dursley's out, and then Moody, Hagrid and Lupin showed up to get _me _out.

I didn't really think about it when it was happening, but now that it's happened, it's weird...that place I hated and dreaded returning to for so long is...gone. I don't have to go back there anymore. Not that I miss it or anything--not in the least.

It's just kind of weird, knowing I don't have to go back there next summer.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Just a few updates...

1. The real Harry Potter is safe.

2. So are the fake ones.

3. YKW is pissed, but I don't think he suspects treason. If he does, he doesn't suspect me.

4. Whoever decided to move Harry a few days early, put a double in his place, then protect that double--and five others!--the same way they'd protect the real one was a GENIUS.

5. Getting a Patronus onto the Internet isn't easy, but it's kind of fun.

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay, who came up with the plan to move Harry a few days early and then act like you didn't?

**Gorkyshlorky:** I did!

**Fervenugen:** Hi!

**YouCanCallMeE:** That was GENIUS. Not just genius, but GENIUS.

**Fervenugen: **Why thank you...(bows)

**Gorkyshlorky: **'Twas the least we could do...(bows)

**ConstantlyVigilant: **I agree with Malfoy...the plan was brilliant.

**Moonlighter57:** YKW doesn't suspect treason, does he?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I don't think so.

**Moonlighter57:** Does he suspect you?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Don't think so. He's just pissed that Harry got away.

**Moonlighter57:** We should celebrate or something...

**Fervenugen: **You mean, celebrate our genius?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Do I sense another pajama party?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I like parties...

**ConstantlyVigilant: **It wouldn't be practical.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Damn.

**Fervenugen:** Party pooper!

**Gorkyshlorky: **Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you, Mad-Eye!

**ConstantlyVigilant: **I'm just thinking of everyone's safety! A party would compromise their safety!

**Gorkyshlorky:** You're still a party pooper.

**ConstantlyVigilant: **And YOU are acting like a child.

**Fervenugen:** Aw, c'mon...

**YouCanCallMeE:** You know you like parties...

**Moonlighter57: **Mad-Eye's right. We can't needlessly put people in danger.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Damn.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Don't you dare drag logic into this, young man!

* * *


	112. Chapter 112

**Moonlighter57:** Hey Draco...how goes it?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Which "it"? The site, or "it"?

**Moonlighter57:** What is "it"?

**YouCanCallMeE:** No idea.

**Moonlighter57:** So...how's the site coming along?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Slow.

**Moonlighter57: **Ah.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...

**Moonlighter57:** Well, just...keep up the good work, I guess.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Thanks.

**

* * *

**

**The Invisible Man **

_**You Can Call Me E **_

Haven't had much time for blogging, since I've spent most of my spare time working on getting a Patronus onto the Internet--which is surprisingly harder than it sounds. Then I've got to figure out a way to make the Patronus a little icon thingy next to your posts, then how to make it work the same way as a username...

Oddly enough, it's kind of fun.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Guess what I turned today?

Seventeen!

It was really cool--the Weasley's threw a party, Mrs. Weasley baked this huge cake that was shaped like a Snitch, and I got a watch from Mr. Weasley (apparently it's tradition to give a wizard a watch when he turns 17), a mokeskin bag from Hagrid (only the wearer can get stuff out once he puts something in), and a bunch of other stuff that I'm too tired to list right now.

But I think Ginny's present was the best, even though it made Ron mad: She kissed me.

Overall, it was a good birthday.

* * *

**If This Be My Blog **

**_Horse Luver 14 _**

Today Harry turned seventeen. It was cool--we threw a big party--and he got a bunch of cool presents, like a mokeskin bag from Hagrid.

I guess the gift I gave him was kind of selfish, in a way. What did I do, you ask?

I kissed him.

Sure, it made Ron mad, but I'm sure me and Harry both liked it.

* * *

_The reason hardly anyone has been blogging--and why Harry is too tired to describe his own birthday gifts--is because Mrs. Weasley has kept them all working hard in getting ready for Bill and Fleur's wedding. _


	113. Chapter 113

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hello? Is anyone on?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Anyone?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Crap...this isn't good...

* * *

**Subject: Hello? **

Hey guys...no big deal, no rush, just wanted to warn anyone that's on that there's going to be an attack on the Ministry today, and they'll probably find Harry...y'know, nothing big or urgent or anything...just a heads-up, really...so if you get a chance, you might want to get him to a safer place, hide the good silverware...all that jazz.

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**MuggleFan18: **Where's Draco?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Right here. 

**MuggleFan18: **Okay, not trying to sound too harsh or anything, but WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US ABOUT THE MINISTRY SOONER?!

**YouCanCallMeE: **I TRIED!! I posted a warning on the BLOG! How else am I supposed to warn you?!

**MuggleFan18: **Oh, the blog is fine. There's nothing wrong with using the blog. It just would have been nice if you'd warned us SOONER! Like, maybe a few DAYS ago?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Look, the attack on the Ministry was just as much a surprise to me as it was to you. Newsflash: YKW doesn't really like me much, and that translates into "Life is full of surprises. Today, we're attacking the Ministry! Surprise!" I was lucky to get on the blog this morning!

**YouCanCallMeE: **What were you doing that was so important you couldn't check the blog, anyway?

**MuggleFan18: **My son Bill got married today.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oh. Uh, congratulations, I guess.

**MuggleFan18: **Thanks.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Nobody got hurt, did they?

**MuggleFan18: **Nobody at the wedding, no. Ron, Harry and Hermione all vanished...we're not quite sure where they went.

**YouCanCallMeE: **At least they got away...

**YouCanCallMeE: **BTW, you're being watched. Tracked and stuff.

**MuggleFan18: **I knew that.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oh.

**YouCanCallMeE: **They can't see you get on the blog, though...

**MuggleFan18: **Thanks for the heads-up.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Today was a disaster.

It was one of those days where you just want to find a Memory Charm and use it on yourself, hoping you won't end up like Lockhart.

Yeah...that's about it.

* * *

_Again, I sort of improvised on the details, since I wasn't sure whether Draco knew about the attack on the Ministry in advance or not. Yes, I KNOW he knew it was going to be attacked; I just didn't think he knew what date. YKW never really specified, just said it would fall soon. _

_BTW, I have "The Flaw in the Plan," "The Will of Albus Dumbledore," "King's Cross," "Malfoy Manor" and I think "The Sacking of Severus Snape" promised...I still need "The Battle of Hogwarts," and if anyone would like to make me really really happy, they could send me "The Muggle-Born Registration Commission" or whatever that chapter is called, as well as the chapter either before or after it. Basically, the two chapters where the Trio infiltrates the Ministry. If you wanted to make me really really happy, someone could send me those...:)_


	114. Chapter 114

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Is anyone on?

**YourMum: **Hermione? Is that you? Thank God!

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah...it's me...who is this?

**YourMum: **This is Molly, Molly Weasley. I just got an account this morning.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Oh. Cool!

**YourMum: **Where's Ron? Is he all right?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Hold on. I'll grab him.

**EaterOfPie: **Mum?

**YourMum: **Ron! Thank God you're okay!

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah...pretty much. What's with the username?

**YourMum: **Since I AM your mum, I thought it appropriate...and funny, since Fred and George informed me once that "Your mum" is the ultimate insult.

**EaterOfPie: **Oh, yeah...I remember that...

**YourMum: **So you and Harry and Hermione are all okay?

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah...we're all okay. Nobody got hurt, did they?

**YourMum: **None of the wedding guests did. I don't know about anyone else.

**EaterOfPie: **Oh. Well, that's good...

**YourMum: **Yes, it is. Where are you, by the way?

**EaterOfPie:** At the old Order HQ. Harry's saying I shouldn't say the location in case Draco gets on.

**YourMum: **I don't think he'd tell anyone.

**EaterOfPie: **Me neither, but YKW could use Legilimency against him or something...

**YourMum: **Oh, right. Well, I'm glad you're all okay.

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah. Me too.

**YourMum: **Is Harry there?

**EaterOfPie: **Yeah. I'll let you talk to him. Talk to you later, Mum.

**YourMum: **Bye, Ron.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Hey, Mrs. Weasley! 

**YourMum: **Hello, Harry! I'm glad you're all right! And that you managed to escape the wedding safely...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah, me too.

**YourMum: **I meant to ask Ron...how did you get a computer there? I didn't think the old HQ had one.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **It didn't, but Mione put a laptop in her handbag. Undetectable Extension Charm, she said.

**YourMum: **Ah. Clever girl.

**MeAgainstTheWorld:** Yeah. She really is.

**YourMum:** I just wanted to make sure you're all right...now that the Ministry is practically run by YKW himself...

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **Yeah. Dangerous, I know. But we're all okay.

**YourMum: **I'm glad. Give Ron and Hermione hugs for me.

**MeAgainstTheWorld: **I will. Talk to you later, Mrs. Weasley.

**YourMum: **Talk to you later, Harry.

* * *

**I Like Pie **

**_Eater of Pie _**

So...Mum got an IB account. Normally, this would bug me, but I'm just glad I get to keep in contact with her and the rest of the family. It was really nice talking with her--it made this whole situation just a little less depressing.

It's funny--I always liked Hogwarts because it let me get away from Mum and Dad for a while and just hang out with my friends, but now I miss them. Talking on the blog with Mum just made me miss her more. I guess it's because at Hogwarts, I always knew I'd come home, but now...well, I'm not too sure. We ARE going against the most powerful and evil wizard in the world, after all. That's not normally the kind of thing you live through.

* * *

_In case you're wondering, Hermione brought a laptop along because I couldn't think of any good reason for her not to. How will this impact the plot? Keep reading to find out. _


	115. Chapter 115

_Sorry this chapter took so long to get up, guys! A MAJOR thank you to dazedandconfused for typing up these chapters and sending them to me; your carpal tunnel syndrome is not in vain. _

**

* * *

**

Have a Nice Day

**_Me Against the World _**

Well. We figured out who RAB (the guy who found YKW's original horcrux and replaced it with the fake one) was--and who helped him get it.

RAB was Regulus Black, Sirius' brother. Apparently, he joined YKW during the first war, but then realized he'd made a huge mistake and tried to redeem it by working to defeat him. He somehow found out about the horcruxes...and got Kreacher to help him get the locket one.

All I can say is...poor Kreacher.

We gave him the locket, and it took us half an hour to calm him down, he was so grateful to get a Black family heirloom. He's also been a lot nicer lately.

Ron, Mione and I are going to infiltrate the Ministry tomorrow. Hopefully, we'll find Umbitch and hopefully she'll have the locket.

* * *

**I Hate Umbitch**

**_Eater of Pie _**

That's really all I have to say after what we saw at the Ministry yesterday.

The plan was to Stun or otherwise incapacitate three Ministry workers that we'd been watching, get some of their hairs, and then Polyjuice ourselves and get into the Ministry so we could find Umbitch and steal the horcrux back from her. Well, that part went according to plan--we got into the Ministry undetected, found the horcrux, and got out, but not without a few problems along the way.

I took the form of a guy named Greg Cattermole, whose wife was apparently a Muggleborn. This is only important because now that YKW is pretty much running the Ministry, Death Eaters have gotten pretty high-ranking jobs and Muggleborns are now being put on trial for no good reason other than the fact that their parents are Muggles. That's all.

Naturally, Umbitch was right in the center of it all; according to Mione, Umbitch was the one in charge of the "trials." More like "let's put the poor Muggleborn in the center of the room and accuse her of stealing some wizard's wand because we can," from the sound of it.

Anyway, once we got there, a guy named Yaxley (Harry told me later he was a Death Eater) came up to us and started yelling at me that there was a cloud in his office that kept raining over all his stuff, so I should get up there and get rid of it. Then came the big one, the sentence that made me feel like a major jerk:

"You realize that I'm on my way downstairs to interrogate your wife, Cattermole? In fact, I'm quite surprised you're not down there holding her hand as she waits. Already given her up as a bad job, have you? Probably wise. Be sure and marry a pureblood next time."

I just stammered something; I felt like I was several yards behind him, trying to catch up. We'd just sent the real Greg Cattermole away puking his guts out on the day his wife was going to be interrogated? If I said I felt like a jerk, that'd be an understatement. Unfortunately, Yaxley wasn't finished.

"But if MY wife were accused of being a Mudblood--not that any woman I married would ever be mistaken for such filth and the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement needed a job doing, i would make it my priority to do that job, Cattermole. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," I whispered, wishing I could simultaneously strangle him and hit myself over the head with something heavy.

"Then attend to it, Cattermole, and if my office is not completely dry within an hour, your wife's blood status will be in even graver danger than it is now."

The three of us--Harry, Hermione and I--headed off toward an elevator. Hermione gave me some tips as to what to do, and we went off in search of Umbitch and the horcrux.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Once we got inside the Ministry, I was supposed to go find Umbridge. But while we were waiting on Ron (who got stuck in the bog), Harry and I saw the statue.

You know the old statue in the entrance to the Ministry--the one with the witch, the wizard, and the house-elf? While the first one wasn't the best statue I'd ever seen, this new one was definitely the worst.

It showed a witch and a wizard, both ornately dressed, sitting on what looked like decoratively carved thrones. But as I got closer, I saw that the thrones were actually made out of the twisted bodies of Muggles, all looking very stupid and ugly in their "rightful place." At the base of the statue were the words MAGIC IS MIGHT. The more I looked at the statue, the more I felt I was going to throw up, right there in the Ministry of Magic.

So I looked away.

* * *

_And the rest will come when I get the next chapter. So far I have..._

_"The Battle of Hogwarts"--thank you ec101895! _

_and I have the following chapters promised:_

_"The Will of Albus Dumbledore"  
"The Flaw in the Plan"  
"King's Cross" _

_If there's any I've forgotten, let me know. I think I still need "The Sacking of Severus Snape," "The Lost Diadem" and I wouldn't mind having "The Prince's Tale," if anyone feels like typing that one up. _

_Oh, and I also need summaries--just very quick, brief summaries--of all the instances where Harry sees Draco through YKW's eyes. _


	116. Chapter 116

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

The more time I spent in the Ministry, the dumber our plan seemed. It was so complex, so vast, that getting in and out quickly seemed as impossible as defeating YKW with nothing but a plastic spork. Still, if a plastic spork was all we had, we had to at least try and use it. So I took the elevator to Umbitch's office and, after a quick run-in with Thicknesse, put on my Cloak and hurried off to search her office.

I wasn't expecting to find the locket, but I figured I should at least make sure. After all, I might find something that could lead me to it. As I walked along, I came across something almost as disturbing as the statue in the entrance: witches and wizards making pamphlets about "Mudbloods and the dangers they pose to a peaceful pureblood society."

I wanted to grab them and tear them all to pieces, to rant about how purebloods_ started _this war, but I didn't. I had to get to the locket. So I set off a Decoy Detonator and went into Umbitch's office, which, according to the plaque on the door, was the office of the Head of the Muggleborn Registration Commission.

Inside, it was a lot like her office at Hogwarts, only with files on people outside the school. (I kind of suspect she kept files on everyone at Hogwarts while she taught there. It sounds like something she'd do.) I found Mr. Weasley's file--his family is being tracked and apparently I'm Undesirable Number One. She even had a poster of me with those words across my chest--along with the words "To Be Punished." And you wonder why we call her Umbitch.

* * *

**I Hate Umbitch**

**_Eater of Pie _**

I spent a long time trying to get the cloud out of Yaxley's office. It was so dumb--battling a cloud while I could be out there helping Harry and Mione--but then I remembered Mrs. Cattermole. If I'd stolen her husband's identity, the least I could do was try and get the stupid cloud out of the way so Yaxley might be in a slightly better mood when he interrogated her.

Someone told me to get Bernie Pillsworth, so I got into an elevator and who should be there but Harry. I didn't recognize him at first--mostly because I'd forgotten what he looked like--but we didn't have much time to talk before my dad got in. He glared at Harry--I guess the real Runcorn isn't very nice--then turned to me.

"Oh, hello Reg. Isn't your wife in for questioning today? Er--what's happened to you? Why are you so wet?"

I didn't look him in the eye. I couldn't, for fear he might recognize me. "Yaxley's office is raining. I couldn't stop it, so they've sent me to get Bernie Pillsworth, I think they said."

"Yes, a lot of offices have been raining lately. Have you tried Metelojinx Reducto? It worked for Bletchley."

"Metelojinx Reducto?" It came out in a whisper. Here we were, talking about how to get Yaxley's office to stop raining, when Mrs. Cattermole's freedom was on the line. What's more, I was standing right next to my dad and couldn't tell him who I was. "No, I didn't. Thanks D--I mean, thanks Arthur." It felt so weird addressing him by his first name that I got off the lift as quickly as I could.

* * *

**Have a Nice Day **

**_Me Against the World _**

Once Ron got off the lift, Percy got on, but darted off at the next floor. Mr. Weasley didn't let me off the lift right away. I thought he might have recognized me--something in my eyes or the way I talked--but no.

"I heard you laid information about Dirk Cresswell."

"Sorry?" I had no idea who Dirk Cresswell was.

"Don't pretend, Runcorn." His anger surprised me. "You tracked down the wizard who faked his family tree, didn't you?"

"I--so what if I did?"

"So Dirk Cresswell is ten times the wizard you are. And if he survives Azkaban, you'll have to answer to him, not to mention his wife, his son, his friends."

"Arthur," I said, feeling really weird about using his first name, "you know you're being tracked, don't you?" I might be Runcorn on the outside, but inside I was still Harry, and I didn't want Mr. Weasley to get in trouble.

"Is that a threat, Runcorn?" he said loudly.

"No, it's a fact! They're watching your every move!" Just then, the lift opened, and Mr. Weasley stepped out--but not before giving me a dirty look. I kept telling myself he thought he was glaring at Runcorn, but it still hurt to see Mr. Weasley glare at me like that.

When I got downstairs, I was so lost in thought about how to best sneak into the courtroom that I almost didn't notice how cold it was. Every step I took seemed colder, and I realized it was dementors even before I saw them. Holding my breath, I waited for the opportunity to go inside and find Hermione.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Goo Goo Dolls 4 Ever _**

Mafalda Hopkirk may not have minded taking pages and pages of notes for Umbitch while she sent innocent Muggleborns to Azkaban, but Hermione Granger hated it.

Normally, I would have enjoyed the opportunity to watch a real wizard court in progress, but this one was so biased, so cruel and vindictive, that the only way I could cope was by constantly envisioning myself attacking Umbitch with my quill. The only good thing about record keeping was that her Patronus kept it nice and warm where we were--but even that wasn't so great because halfway through I realized why it was so strong: She _enjoyed_ doing this.

We were halfway through Mary Cattermole's "trial" when someone whispered in my ear.

"I'm behind you."

I jumped so high I almost knocked over the bottle of ink I was using, but Umbitch and Yaxley didn't notice. They were that intent upon sending Mrs. Cattermole to Azkaban. She was just asking Mary about her wand--accusing is more like it--when the locket fell out of Umbitch's robes.

"That's pretty, Dolores," I said.

"What?" She glanced at the locket. "Oh, yes, an old family heirloom...the S stands for Selwyn...I am related to the Selwyns...indeed there are few pureblood families to whom I am not related...A pity," she said, pointing to Mrs. Cattermole, "that the same cannot be said for you. 'Parents' professions: greengrocers.'"

I guess the lie made Harry just as mad as it made me, because he pointed his wand at her from underneath his Cloak and yelled "Stupefy!" She fell to the floor, and Harry Stupefied Yaxley just as he turned to see who had Stupified Umbitch.

"Harry!"

"Hermione, if you thought I was just going to sit there and pretend--"

"Harry, Mrs. Cattermole!" The dementors apparently sensed that Umbitch and Yaxley weren't in control anymore and had started in on her. One of them had just forced her head back when Harry cast a Patronus. Everything happened quickly after that: I got the locket, duplicated it so Umbitch wouldn't know the difference, Harry freed Mrs. Cattermole and told her to get her kids and flee the country, and we ran. On the way out he told the rest of the Muggleborns what he'd told Mrs. Cattermole, only he said it was the "new official position." We managed to get out in time, Apparating back to Grimmauld Place, but I was sure someone whose initials may or may not include 'Yaxley' tagged along. So once we got there, I quickly Apparated again.

* * *


	117. Chapter 117

**YouCanCallMeE:** Mione? Are you on?

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah...I'm on.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Are you guys OK? I mean, now that they've got into Grimmauld Place...they didn't find you guys, though...just wanted to make sure you're OK, I guess.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah. We're fine. Ron got Splinched, but he's OK now. It was just his arm, and we had some dittany...

**YouCanCallMeE:** Good. Yeah, I was worried when you guys didn't show up at Hogwarts, either. Everyone was.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Guess you've figured out by now that we're not going to Hogwarts this year...

**YouCanCallMeE:** I sort of gathered that much.

**GooGooDolls4Ever: **Yeah.

**YouCanCallMeE: **I'm guessing it has something to do with YKW?

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Yeah.

**YouCanCallMeE:** If I see you, I'll pretend I didn't.

**GooGooDolls4Ever:** Thanks.

**

* * *

**

The Hogwarts Blog

**Subject: Welcome **

As headmaster of this school, I suppose it's my duty to welcome you all to another year. There are a few changes you should all be aware of:

1. Muggle Studies is now compulsory for all students.  
2. There is a blanket ban on ALL items from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.  
3. We know about the secret passages. Don't try to use them.  
4. Leave the dementors alone. They don't like to be bothered.  
5. Discipline will be stricter now than it was when Dumbledore was in charge. Deal with it.  
6. All blogs and IM conversations must now be public. You have one week to change the privacy settings.  
7. Don't be a moron.

Have a good year.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

**

* * *

**

Thoughts From Crabbe and Goyle

_**Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle **_

gess wat?

snayp is th nu hedmastur!

so kool!

ya.

weer xcitid abowt it.

o, and all blogs hav 2 b publik now.

butt its not a big deel 4 us.

r blog iz alredee publik.

im convos, 2.

ya.

remembur wat snayp sed...

dont b a moron!

* * *

**Comments: **

_I can't believe all blogs have to be public now! This is SO lame!  
Ginevra Weasley_

_I know! It's so stupid!  
Parvati Patil _

_It's not like what I write is all that interesting, anyways...  
Luna Lovegood _

_Stupid voyeuristic little...snots!  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_oooh...millicent, i didn't know you KNEW words that big!  
Pansy Parkinson _

_Oh, really? So tell me, Pansy, what does voyeuristic mean?  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_lik id waste my time w/something lik that! and since wen did u stop using chatspeek?  
Pansy Parkinson _

_Since I realized it makes me sound stupid.  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_wat DUZ voyeuristic meen?!  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_It means 'of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a voyeur or voyeurism.'  
Theodore Nott_

_and wats a voyeur?  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

_It's a peeping tom.  
Millicent Bullstrode _

_o.  
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle _

* * *

**Cats Are Awesome **

**_Millicent Bullstrode _**

Pansy and I haven't been getting along lately. We've been best friends since we were five, and now it's HER fault we're mad at each other.

The reason: She's a whore.

Well, she IS!

It all started last year, when Draco started acting all depressed and stuff. Pansy got bored and dumped him. Then, when he started going out with that Mudblood, she thought she needed to make him jealous.

So she flirted with Theodore.

Of all the guys in our House, of all the cute guys in the world, she picked the one that I've had a crush on since third year to throw herself at. And she REALLY threw herself at him. It was kind of disgusting, really. Not surprisingly, they started going out.

What makes it worse is that she KNEW I liked him! She KNEW! I TOLD her! And so she flirted with him and stole him from me, all before I ever got to make a move.

I keep hoping he'll notice that I've been trying to act smarter--ever since Pansy vented to me about how much Theo hates chatspeak I've been trying to stop using it--but I don't think it's working.

I guess guys only like whores.

Sigh...better delete this and take the privacy settings down. It's so voyeuristic, this new rule. (Voyeuristic: A word I learned from Theo. Wonder if he noticed...)

_

* * *

_

There ya go. I brought Crabbe and Goyle back, just for you guys. :D

Oh, and the whole Millicent liking Theodore thing just sort of hit me one day...


	118. Chapter 118

**Subject: New Blog!!**

Hey guys...sorry I didn't update about this sooner, but I finally got the e-Patronus thing to work! The site is just about done--it should be up by next week.

Security will be pretty tight, just because we need this blog to be as secure as possible. So what you'll need to do when you sign up is first register your Patronus--that'll be your username, and it'll show up as a little icon thingy next to all your posts--then come up with a personal password. I'd recommend changing it every week. You'll also need to come up with a question that only YOU know the answer to so the site knows it's you. (Just to make the blog double Imperious-proof.)

And if that's not enough, all your posts disappear when you log off. (I guess since they're technically put up by your Patronus, they vanish when your Patronus does. Pretty cool, eh?)

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: But...**

What about this blog? Are you just going to delete it?

**Posted by: Horse Luver 14 **

* * *

**Subject: RE: But...**

I was planning on it...why?

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: But...**

Oh. Because a site like this one would be REALLY nice for the DA...

**Posted by: Horse Luver 14

* * *

**

**Subject: RE: But...**

The DA? What's that?

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: But...**

Dumbledore's Army, remember? The club Umbitch and the IS found two years ago? Neville's starting it up again--y'know, stand up against the Carrows and stuff?

**Posted by: Horse Luver 14 **

* * *

**Subject: RE: But...**

Hmmm...After I delete this one, I could put up a new IB, make it more secure than this one was...would that work?

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: But...**

That'd be AWESOME!! Thanks!!

**Posted by: Horse Luver 14 **

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Subject: Welcome!**

Welcome to the Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! Umm...just...post and stuff, I guess...I'll go try and get the new IB online...

**Falcon **

* * *

**Subject: Nice! **

Good job, Drake! (You don't mind if I call you Drake, do you?)

**Weasel **

* * *

**Subject: Nope **

I don't mind at all.

**Falcon **

* * *

**Subject: Good job! **

This blog will help us quite a bit! All of the extra security features are incredible! Good job!

**Owl **

* * *

**Subject: Sweet! **

This blog is incredimazable! (Incredible plus amazing equals incredimazable.)

**Monkey and Chimpanzee **

* * *

**Subject: Personal Blogs **

There's personal blogs, too, if you're interested...they disappear when you log off, but while you're online, they're just like a normal blog.

**Falcon **

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

I can't believe it...I actually got this blog up and running! And everyone likes it!

I guess this is my second major spy-like thing...so I guess now I'm officially a traitor to Phil.

I didn't know being a traitor could make you feel so good...

* * *

_Here's a quick guide to Patronuses: _

_Owl: Mad-Eye Moody  
Monkey: Fred Weasley  
Chimpanzee: George Weasley _

_Now, I'm no monkey expert, so please don't send me a bunch of reviews saying "Well, actually, monkeys and chimpanzees hate each other because King Monkenface of the monkeys called King Bananahead's mom a slut" or stuff like that. That would make me sad. _


	119. Chapter 119

_Thanks to everyone who volunteered chapters--and especially to dazedandconfused who sent me three chapters already. Speaking of chapters, I also need the chapter where Harry uses the Resurrection Stone and goes into the forest to meet YKW--I don't know what chapter that scene is a part of (I think it's called "The Forest Again" or something like that), but I need it. Thanks! _

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**Subject: Welcome back! **

Sorry I didn't leave the old site up, guys. There was just too much crap on it--and it wasn't secure enough. This new site, as you've probably noticed, is a LOT more secure. For those of you who frequented the old site back during the reign of Queen Umbitch I, most of the same rules apply this time. For all you newbies, here are the rules:

1. The only way this site will work is if EVERYONE is completely and totally anonymous. (For any first years who found this site, anonymous means that nobody knows who you are.) Don't give out your username to ANYONE except for friends who you KNOW you can trust as much as--if not more than--your own family.  
2. Don't do ANYTHING to let the Carrows know about this site. Only get on when and where you know they can't see you.  
3. Post on the school blog. If the Carrows see everyone on their computers all the time, but nobody ever posts on the school blog, eventually they'll put two and two together and find out about this site.  
4. If Myrtle invited you, then it means she thinks you're trustworthy. Don't prove her wrong.  
5. If the Carrows ever find out about this site, I'll delete it and I won't create another one. So don't blow it.  
6. Insult the Carrows! That's one of the main reasons I made this site.

Follow those rules and, with a little luck, we should survive this school year.

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Welcome back! **

Awesome! Thanks for getting the site back up, E!

**Posted by: Confuzzled **

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey...everyone find this section okay?

**Confuzzled: **I did!

**HorseLuver14: **Me too!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay...good.

**HorseLuver14: **Colin should be on soon...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Who's Colin?

**HorseLuver14: **A friend of mine. He's in the DA, so don't worry.

**ADHDRocks: **Hi! I'm Colin!

**HorseLuver14: **Yay! You found it!

**ADHDRocks: **Yeppers!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Wait--what's ADHD and why does it rock?

**ADHDRocks: **It's sort of a Muggleborn joke...see, Muggle doctors say hyper kids have a disorder called ADHD...

**HorseLuver14: **And it's sort of become a synonym for hyperactivity.

**ADHDRocks: **Yeah! And since I'm hyper all the time and my parents say I'm sort of ADHD, I'm just saying that being hyper ROCKS!

**YouCanCallMeE: **lol.

**Confuzzled: **You had something you wanted to tell us, Drake?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Um, yeah. In case Ginny hasn't told you yet (which I'm sure she has), I'm going to be your traitor/spy this year. And since I'll be a spy, I'll have to be undercover. Which means I'll still have to act like an asshole most of the time--at least when Snape and the Carrows are around. So even though I'm hoping you don't really hate me, you'll have to act like you do to keep the charade going.

**Confuzzled: **How?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just the usual stuff--glare, call me names behind my back, stuff like that.

**HorseLuver14: **It won't be easy.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Why not?

**HorseLuver14: **You're betraying YKW! You're risking your life to help us! It's kind of hard to act mean to someone like that.


	120. Chapter 120

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Confuzzled: **I never thought I could hate anyone more than I hated Umbitch, but the Carrows proved me wrong.

**HorseLuver14: **Ugh! I know what you mean!

**ADHDRocks: **They suck! They're so...evil!

**YouCanCallMeE: **I hate them...

**HorseLuver14: **Yeah, but they LIKE you.

**YouCanCallMeE: **So did Umbitch. That didn't stop me from hating her.

**ADHDRocks: **BTW, Drake, is it OK if I invite someone to the DA section?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Woah...that was...random...

**HorseLuver14: **I believe the word you're searching for is ADD.

**ADHDRocks: **Told you it rocks! Anyways...is it OK?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Who is it?

**ADHDRocks: **Her name is Asteria--most everyone just calls her Teri, though...she's a Ravenclaw, just a year younger than me...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Can we trust her?

**ADHDRocks: **I've known her since I was 5, so I'm thinking yes.

**ADHDRocks: **Oh, and she's Muggleborn like me, so she doesn't like the Carrows much, either.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Go ahead, then. Just make sure she follows the rules.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

I heard someone say once--I think it was McGonagall or maybe Snape--that you can't understand a person until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Now I finally know what whoever said that meant.

I know none of them really _mean _what they're saying about me, and I know I'm the one who told them to do it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**ADHDRocks: **Everyone, allow me to introduce my friend...Teri! (throws confetti)

**PressingOn: **Hi!

**YouCanCallMeE:** Teri...your username wouldn't happen to be from the Relient K song "Pressing On," would it?

**PressingOn: **That it is...Drake, right?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. Cool! I thought I was the only one who liked that song!

**PressingOn:** Nope! There's a ton of people who like it, actually...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Well, the only one in Slytherin, then.

**PressingOn: **I'm in Ravenclaw...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, I know. Colin told us.

**PressingOn: **Oh. Sorry...yeah, I'm a huge RK fan. Especially the song "College Kids"...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just change the word "college" to "Hogwarts" and it's a song about us!

**PressingOn: **lol totally! That's what I thought!

**YouCanCallMeE: **lol yeah! "Someone please save us..."

**PressingOn: **"us Hogwarts kids..."

**YouCanCallMeE: **"what my parents told me is what I did..."

**PressingOn:** "they said 'Go to school and be a Hogwarts kid'"

**YouCanCallMeE: **"but in the end I question why I did!"

**PressingOn: **"I'm poor, I'm starving, I'm flat broke, I've got no cash to spend..."

* * *

**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

I'd always heard of Draco Malfoy. He's something of a legend among the older students who've met him--and I don't mean that in a good way.

So a few days ago, when Colin both invited me to the DA site and told me the truth about Draco (or "Drake," as the DA calls him), I saw him in a whole new light. No longer was he the school jerk, but sort of...heroic. That new light also showed me something else:

He's really cute.

I'm serious! He's sort of tall, with really really pale blond hair and light grey eyes...tell me that's not cute, I dare you! And he's fun to talk to.

Pretending to hate him is going to be hard.

* * *


	121. Chapter 121

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Stag: **Anyone on?

**Falcon: **Just me, it looks like...how are you?

**Stag: **Surprisingly better, now that I'm not wearing that locket anymore...

**Falcon:** What locket?

**Stag:** Never mind.

**Falcon: **So...without telling me exactly where you are or what you've been doing or what's been going on, how are...things?

**Stag: **Things are okay. How's Hogwarts?

**Falcon: **The only term I can think of that accurately describes it is "suck fest."

**Stag:** Oooohhhh...

**Falcon:** Yeah, I can't decide which would be worse--stuck out there, or stuck in here.

**Stag: **Just how sucky is it?

**Falcon: **Well, you probably know by now that Snape is headmaster...

**Stag: **Yeah. And the Carrows are teaching there.

**Falcon: **Yeah. I think Muggle Studies is worse than Dark Arts, but they both suck.

**Stag: **Dark Arts?

**Falcon: **Used to be Defense Against the Dark Arts.

**Stag:** Oh.

**Falcon:** Yeah...

**Stag: **Is Ginny there?

**Falcon: **She's on the DA blog right now. I'll IM her and tell her to get on here.

**Stag: **Thanks.

* * *

**Horse: **Harry?

**Stag: **Ginny?

**Horse: **Thank God you're okay!

**Stag: **Yeah...so...how are you?

**Horse:** Hogwarts sucks this year.

**Stag: **Yeah, Drake told me.

**Horse: **Did he tell you about Muggle Studies?

**Stag: **No...just that it sucks. Why?

**Horse: **Alecto Carrow--that's who's teaching it--she makes me SO mad! It's not really Muggle Studies, more like Muggle Bashing.

**Stag: **I'm sorry...

**Horse: **She keeps talking about how stupid they are, how they live the way they do because they're just one step above animals...just yesterday she played part of some stupid pop song to show just how stupid they are!

**Stag: **What song?

**Horse: **I don't remember. I think it was by Britney Spears or something.

**Stag: **That's stupid! Everyone KNOWS that that's not REAL music!

**Horse: **Yeah! Ugh...next time she says that, I'm going to argue with her.

**Stag: **Just be careful.

**Horse: **Okay. So how are you guys? How's Ron?

**Stag: **Okay, I guess...I don't think Ron's doing so well, though.

**Horse: **What do you mean? Is he sick?

**Stag: **No, he's not sick, just...not himself. I'm sure he'll be okay before too long.

**Horse: **I hope so.

**Stag: **Yeah.

**Horse: **Well, good luck, I guess. Talk to you later.

**Stag: **You too. See ya, Ginny.

* * *

**The Hogwarts Blog **

**NottStupid: **UGH!!

**IHeartMyKitty: **What?

**NottStupid:** The Carrows...

**IHeartMyKitty: **What about them?

**NottStupid:** It's not them so much as it is their GRAMMAR! Seriously! Is it THAT hard to use a modifier correctly?!

**IHeartMyKitty: **A what?

**NottStupid: **A modifier. An adjective or adverb that changes the meaning of a noun, pronoun or verb.

**IHeartMyKitty: **Oh...

**NottStupid: **And WHY does Amycus INSIST upon using the word "ain't" so much?! IT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!!

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Yes, it IS a word! Since you seem to like the dictionary so much, go look it up! It's in there!

**NottStupid: **Only the dictionaries that are so big you'll get a hernia from carrying them!

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **That doesn't change the fact that I can use whatever words I want.

**NottStupid: **But...Professor, bad grammar REALLY bugs some people.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **AND it doesn't change the fact that you're a student and I'm a teacher. There's a heiarchy.

**IHeartMyKitty: **You eat death for breakfast? I just eat toast...

* * *

_IEatDeath4Breakfast is Amycus Carrow. He didn't give Theodore detention mainly because he's pureblood and his dad is a Death Eater. In the last comment thingy, Millicent wasn't being ditzy; she was just trying to be the peacemaker because she didn't want Theo to get in trouble or anything. _


	122. Chapter 122

_All right, I've gotten reviews from some of you informing me that, according to JKR, there were no Muggleborns at Hogwarts during Harry's seventh year. However, I would like to point out a few things, some of which I thought of, some of which Veela-Lily came up with and pointed out to me:  
1. Colin Creevey was at Hogwarts during the seventh book. Unless his blood status somehow changed between the second book and the seventh, his presence proves that there were at least a few Muggleborns at Hogwarts.  
2. Snape may be the Death Eater who killed Dumbledore, but he HAD been in love with a Muggleborn. He probably brought up the point that...  
3. Banishing all Muggleborns from Hogwarts at once--including those who were underage--would look incredibly suspicious, especially since the Ministry was still pretending that they weren't vehemently anti-Muggleborn. It was called "The Muggleborn Registration Commission," after all, not the "Let's Round Up All the Muggleborns and Send Them to Azkaban Commission."  
4. As much as the Carrows hated Muggleborns, I think they'd prefer to keep a few around and make an example of them, not just send them all away at once. You know, use unfair practices--make their tests impossible, accuse them of stuff they didn't do, turn a blind eye when other students tormented them in the corridors--in effect, kill them slowly while "demonstrating" to the other students that Muggleborns were no-good dirty rotten theives of magic who deserved to die. (BTW, did you know that Hitler tried to prove the "superiority" of the Aryan race in the 1936 Summer Olympics (which where hosted in Berlin), but an African-American named Jesse Daniels won? That little fact always made me laugh.) _

_So, whatever your opinion, I believe that there WERE Muggleborns at Hogwarts during the latter half of the Second War, and in this story there will be. _

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**KiltedStranger: **Erm...hello...I'm new...

**YouCanCallMeE: **So I gathered.

**KiltedStranger: **How can you tell?

**Confuzzled: **You weren't on here yesterday.

**KiltedStranger: **Oh. Lol.

**HorseLuver14: **Welcome to the site, BTW!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just be sure to follow the rules. You've read them, right?

**KiltedStranger: **Yeah. Don't betray the site or you'll shut it down, don't give away your identity, and mock the Carrows. I will have no trouble with the last one.

**Confuzzled: **I don't think any of us will.

**YouCanCallMeE: **So. How'd you find out about this site? Just out of curiosity--I won't go and seek out your identity or anything unless I have to.

**KiltedStranger: **Myrtle--the bathroom ghost--told me.

**YouCanCallMeE:** Ah. Yeah, Myrtle's cool, isn't she?

**KiltedStranger: **She is.

**

* * *

**

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

_**Kilted Stranger **_

I don't care what my dad says about how kilts are just glorified skirts. REAL men wear kilts.

I suppose you're wondering how I found this site. In a way, _I'm _still wondering.

See, it all started after a particuarily annoying session of Bad Grammar 101--also known as Dark Arts with Amycus Carrow. He caught me gritting my teeth whenever he used the "word" "ain't," and he called attention to it.

"You wanna say something, Theo?"

"No," I said. Then, before I could stop myself, I added: "I'd like _you_ to _stop_ saying something."

"And what's that?" I could tell he was trying hard to control himself, but I had already opened this can of worms and decided I may as well explain.

"Ain't," I said. "It's a pet peeve of mine."

He smiled that annoying smile of his. "Well, that ain't gonna happen. This class ain't meant to cater to you. Now, moving on..."

The class dragged on, and when it was over, I sought solace in the first place I saw: the bathroom.

No one was in there--or so I thought. Myrtle heard me muttering about the Carrows and came up out of the toilet.

"You don't like them either, huh?"

I shook my head no. "Everyone else in Slytherin does."

She paused, a slow smile spreading across her face. "What if I told you that there was a place where you could complain about the Carrows all day long with other kids who hate them?"

To make a long story short, she told me how to get onto this site, and I must admit that it's pretty cool. It's nice having a site that the Carrows can't break into.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Confuzzled: **Can you believe how much grafitti we've got up already?

**HorseLuver14: **No, not really, no...

**ADHDRocks: **Three areas of the castle already! That is so cool!

**Confuzzled: **Think it'll work?

**PressingOn:** Two people have approached me already!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Um, you guys might want to be more careful with that. The grafitti, I mean.

**PressingOn: **The Carrows haven't traced it yet, have they?

**YouCanCallMeE: **No, but they're working on it.

**Confuzzled: **Of COURSE they're working on it! And they won't get anywhere anytime soon, I'm sure.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Probably not--unless they start rounding up suspected DA members and torturing them for information.

**ADHDRocks: **They'd do that?

**YouCanCallMeE: **You bet.

**Confuzzled: **You want us to win, Drake?

**YouCanCallMeE: **More than anything. I just don't want to see you guys get hurt because you were a little too flamboyant with your methods for recruiting. I'll do what I can to keep them off your trail, but you guys have to try and keep your own trail covered.

* * *

_In case you haven't guessed yet, KiltedStranger is Theodore Nott. _


	123. Chapter 123

**The Hogwarts Blog **

**ProudGryffindor: **I don't see why they feel the need to monitor us teachers...

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **At least they said they wouldn't break into our convos.

**ProudGryffindor: **True, but am I the only one who feels just the least bit...I don't know...violated?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **No, you're not.

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **You know what I miss? The Weasley twins. Remember how they were during the reign of Queen Umbridge I?

**ProudGryffindor: **For years I thought of them as brilliant but lazy...but now it's slipped to simply "brilliant."

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Ah, the pranks they pulled...

**ProudGryffindor: **Which are now BANNED!

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **Don't make me cry.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **But remember their departure?

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **With all the fireworks spelling out insults and curse words? That was incredible!

**ProudGryffindor: **Brilliant, really.

**CharmingRavenclaw: **They went out with a bang--no pun intended.

**ProudGryffindor: **Or when they put up that Caterwauling Charm so that whenever Severus came out of the dungeons, everyone heard "Bat Outta Hell"?

**HerbologistHufflepuff: **I STILL laugh when I think about that! Or when they made it so everyone heard "Love Shack" when they entered his classroom?

**CharmingRavenclaw: **Good times...

**ProudGryffindor: **I almost wish they'd come back, just for one day...

* * *

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Severus, I think the other teachers are planning a coup.

**SlytherinSpellchecker:** Nice job breaking the news to me slowly, Amycus...what makes you think they're planning a coup?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **I was monitoring one of their IM conversations, and they started talking about the Weasley twins and how much they wanted to see some of their pranks. You know, remembering the good 'ol days.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Amycus, just because the other teachers are talking about how much they miss the Weasley twins, that does not mean they're planning to take over the school.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **But...they were talking...calling them "brilliant" and stuff. And they were talking about all the pranks they pulled on YOU--how great they were!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Then they're delusional, not hostile. Please learn the difference.

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**_DA Members Only _**

**PressingOn: **Does Alecto hate me or something?

**HorseLuver14:** What happened?

**PressingOn: **During her usual "I hate Muggles" tirade she was looking right at me...and then I guess she wanted to prove her point so she started asking me all these impossible questions...

**HorseLuver14: **Awww...I'm sorry...

**PressingOn: **I almost cried.

**YouCanCallMeE: **You didn't, did you?

**PressingOn: **No...that's why I said "almost."

**YouCanCallMeE: **Good, because crying just makes them mad...what kind of questions were they?

**PressingOn: **Just...stuff I couldn't possibly know. And stuff like "why can't Muggles use magic?"

**YouCanCallMeE: **Next time, ask her to answer her own question.

**HorseLuver14: **Yeah, because that one is more philosophical than anything else.

**Fervenugen: **Or answer her questions with questions...like this. George, what is the capitol of Yugoslavia?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Why is your mum so fat?

**Fervenugen: **How did you know about my mum?!

**Gorkyshlorky: **Who DOESN'T?

**Fervenugen: **Why don't you weigh a million pounds by now?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Why is Gobstones Club the only place you meet girls?

**Fervenugen: **Why are all the girls you meet as fat as your mum?

**PressingOn: **lol...thanks guys.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_You Can Call Me E _**

Poor Teri.

I mean, I knew what the Carrows were doing...but still. It's mean.

I wish I could do something more to help her...

* * *


	124. Chapter 124

_In case you're wondering why Ron hasn't posted, it's because 1) the Trio decided not to get onto the second IB because they thought it would be too risky; the IB isn't as secure as the Order's blog, after all, and 2) the horcrux affected him to the extent that he couldn't cast a Patronus long enough to post anything. _

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Let Love In **

**_Otter _**

Ron hasn't been doing too well lately.

I don't know why...he's just been really grouchy and short-tempered and depressed, even when he's not wearing the locket.

I'm really worried about him.

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility**

**If This Be My Blog **

**_Horse Luver 14 _**

The strangest thing happened today.

On my way out of Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall stopped me, telling me she wanted to talk to me about something, but she waited until everyone else had left to say anything.

"You're Fred and George's sister," she began. "Tell me, what would they do if they were here at Hogwarts right now?"

"What do you mean, Professor?" I'd assumed she wanted to talk to me about grades or something, so her asking me about Fred and George caught me off-guard.

She took a deep breath. "What I mean is...we're going _crazy, _Ginny! The other teachers and I--the Carrows are driving us _insane_ and if we don't do something soon, I think we'll _all _end up at St. Mungo's!"

"And you're thinking a prank on the Carrows will do the trick?"

Sighing, she nodded. "You know Fred and George better than I do. What kind of prank would they pull? How would they make it memorable?"

I paused as an idea hit, then grinned. "Why don't you just ask them yourself?"

"How?"

Lowering my voice to a whisper, I told her how to get onto the IB. "I'll tell Fred and George to get on tonight."

"Thank you." I thought she'd weep with gratitude.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Gorkyshlorky: **Here I am...

**Fervenugen: **Me too...where's McGonagall?

**FaithAndFear: **I'm here. I'm sorry...who's Fred and who's George?

**Fervenugen: **I'm Fred.

**Gorkyshlorky: **I'm George.

**FaithAndFear: **Ah. Thank you.

**Fervenugen: **Now...to pranking. What kind of prank did you want to pull?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Which prank of ours did you like best?

**FaithAndFear: **Hm...well. I must admit I loved it when you put a Caterwauling Charm over the dungeons so everyone heard "Bat Outta Hell" every time Snape exited...and your departure was unforgettable.

**Gorkyshlorky: **So...something with a Caterwauling Charm?

**FaithAndFear: **Yes...that would be nice...

**Fervenugen: **Something that the Carrows won't soon forget, of course...

**Gorkyshlorky: **Maybe a series of pranks would be better?

**FaithAndFear: **They'd likely pinpoint us teachers as the cause after the first one...I'm afraid we were reminiscing about your pranks on the school blog the other day...and of course the Carrows are monitoring the blog...

**Fervenugen: **Why would you do THAT? Professor, the greatest ally a prankster has is ANONYMITY. Unless, of course, you WANT them to know it's you.

**FaithAndFear: **We're going insane here! We couldn't help it!

**Gorkyshlorky: **All right, then...you need something so good the Carrows will be scarred for life after one prank.

**Fervenugen: **But something that doesn't get all the decent teachers in Azkaban or something.

**FaithAndFear: **Yes.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Fred, what about that Weird Al song we heard the other day?

**Fervenugen: **Which one? "You're Pitiful" or "Smells Like Nirvana"?

**Gorkyshlorky: **"You're Pitiful." Would that make a good Caterwauling Charm for Amycus?

**Fervenugen: **Most definitely! But only if people hear it EVERYWHERE he goes.

**Gorkyshlorky: **So a CC that follows him around all day?

**FaithAndFear: **Yes! Yes! That'd be perfect!

**Fervenugen: **All right...you've heard the song "You're Pitiful", right?

**FaithAndFear: **Um...no, I can't say that I have...

**Gorkyshlorky: **Go listen to it, then. Once that's done, come back, and we'll tell you how to do the music CC.

**FaithAndFear: **Thank you both! Thank you so much!

**Gorkyshlorky: **No problem.

**Fervenugen: **Glad we could help.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Stag: **Drake? You on?

**Falcon: **Yeah.

**Stag: **None of you guys have seen Ron, have you?

**Falcon: **No...none of us have seen any of you guys. Why?

**Stag: **Because Ron left last night.

**Falcon: **He did? Why?

**Stag: **We had a fight...see, things haven't been going too well--we're not any closer to defeating YKW than we were when we started--and I guess Ron got mad about that and he left.

**Falcon: **Oh. Um...that sucks, I guess? Not sure what to say there...is Mione really upset?

**Stag: **Really upset. She couldn't stop crying after he left.

**Falcon:** Poor Mione.

**Stag: **If you see Ron, could you pretend you didn't? Better yet, try and warn him to get away or something.

**Falcon: **Will do.

**Stag: **Thanks.


	125. Chapter 125

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

* * *

**When Faith and Fear Collide **

**_Faith and Fear _**

Well. Today the other teachers and I are setting up our first Weasley-style prank--our first outright attack on the Carrows, I suppose. Needless to say, we're a little nervous, mostly because none of us have set up a prank before. All we've done in the past is sit back and watch the Weasley twins perform theirs--and theirs were legendary. With a little help from the Great Ones themselves, we will hopefully pull a prank that will go down in history. At the very least, it'll give us something to laugh at for a while.

We expanded on Fred and George's original idea--creating a musical Caterwauling Charm using the song "You're Pitiful" that follows Amycus around all day--and, at Asteria's suggestion, set up another one for Alecto using the Relient K song "Crayons Can Melt On Us For All I Care." Every time she finishes a sentence, students and teachers alike will hear Thiessen sing "I just wasted ten seconds of your life."

Note to self: Compliment the twins and Asteria Greengrass on their brilliance.

* * *

**The Hogwarts Blog **

**Subject: To Whoever...**

To whoever thought it'd be funny to put up that Caterwauling Charm, I got news for you: IT'S NOT!!

Now take it down!!

**Posted by: Amycus Carrow

* * *

**

**Subject: Ditto! **

Take down mine, too! IT'S NOT FUNNY!!

**Posted by: Alecto Carrow **

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**KiltedStranger: **Whoever put up those Caterwauling Charms was BRILLIANT!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Very! I can't stop laughing!

**KiltedStranger: **It's about TIME someone pulled a prank on Amycus!

**FaithAndFear: **(bows)

**KiltedStranger:** It was you?

**FaithAndFear: **That it was.

**PressingOn: **ROFL!!

**Confuzzled: **FAF, you're amazing.

**HorseLuver14: **More than amazing! What's a word stronger than amazing?

**ADHDRocks: **How about...incredimazable?

**Loony: **I prefer phamazing...

**FaithAndFear: **Wow...incredimazable, you say? I didn't know I was so popular.

**Confuzzled: **You do now!

* * *

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

Today was one of the best days of my relatively short life. Why?

McGonagall and some of the other teachers set up musical CCs over Amycus and Alecto so that "You're Pitiful" followed Amycus around and whenever Alecto said something, everyone heard "Crayons Can Melt On Us For All I Care"! (That's the one where Thiessen sings "I just wasted ten seconds of your life.)

Best of all, Snape couldn't take them down! I caught them in one of the halls, talking.

"C'mon, Severus, take it down." "You're Pitiful" kept playing in the background, making the whole scene funnier.

"I can't. What part of that don't you understand, Amycus?"

"But--"

"The Weasleys used to do the same thing to me, and THEY were the only ones who could take it down. If you want it gone, you'll have to find the person who put it up in the first place."

"Severus_, please_! You killed Dumbledore, for crying out loud! Can't you--"

"You cannot remove a Caterwauling Charm with a Killing Curse, Amycus." I SWEAR he was smiling as he walked away.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet**

**_DA Members Only _**

**YouCanCallMeE: **That...was...BRILLIANT!

**PressingOn: **Beautiful...simply beautiful...

**Confuzzled: **Words cannot describe how amazing that was.

**Loony: **I wish I could just keep replaying this day forever...

**ADHDRocks: **WHY didn't I bring a camera?!

**FaithAndFear: **Thank you...thank you all...

**PressingOn: **How long does it last?

**FaithAndFear**: We set it to fade at midnight.

**PressingOn**: In that case, then, I'm going to go ask Alecto a few questions...

**ADHDRocks:** You are, without a doubt, the coolest teacher EVER!

**YouCanCallMeE: **BTW, I've been meaning to ask...which teacher are you? Don't worry, I won't tell.

**FaithAndFear: **I believe you. I'm Professor McGonagall.

**YouCanCallMeE: **McGonagall? Holy crap!

**FaithAndFear: **Excuse me?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Sorry...I just never thought of you as a prankster...

**FaithAndFear: **I asked the Weasley twins for a few tips.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Ah. Well...now I think I have to agree with Colin...

**FaithAndFear: **Well thank you...um...who are you?

**YouCanCallMeE:** You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

**Confuzzled: **Sure she would.

**FaithAndFear: **Try me.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Okay. Tomorrow after dinner I'll walk up to your desk, hold out my hand, and say "If you pull my finger, you will hear a tuba."

**FaithAndFear**: O...kay...see you tomorrow, E.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

_**Falcon **_

I can't believe I'm doing this.

I can't believe I'm telling Professor McGonagall that I'm E. More than that--I'm telling her_ everything_! I mean, once she knows I'm E, she'll put the pieces together and figure out that I've turned traitor, too...

Then again, I guess it's only fair. I know who _she_ is on the IB.

* * *

_In case you're wondering, Draco is using the Order's blog to record his thoughts because it's more secure._

_Oh, and Loony is Luna Lovegood. _


	126. Chapter 126

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**When Faith and Fear Collide **

**_Faith and Fear _**

Well. All I can say is...wow.

Today was the day E promised to reveal his identity to me. The day seemed to drag on, and I whiled away the hours by guessing who E might be. Neville Longbottom--my first guess--was out when I remembered he was Confuzzled. Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley were also out. I had it narrowed down to Seamus Finnigan and Ernie McMillan by dinnertime, but as I sat at my desk and awaited E's arrival, I had no idea how wrong I was.

Fifteen minutes after dinner ended, the class was empty. Draco Malfoy appeared in the doorway and slowly walked toward my desk.

"Yes, Draco? Is there something you need?" I couldn't think of any other reason why he would be there.

He didn't answer, but held his hand out and said quietly, "If you pull my finger, you will hear a tuba."

I just stared. "You...you're _E_?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

"How--I mean, _why_?"

"I started the blog because I hated Umbitch, and since the Carrows are a million times worse, I revamped it."

I drew a deep breath. "Pull up a chair. Tell me everything from the beginning."

"Hold on," he said. "You mind if I put up a few enchantments--keep the Carrows from hearing if they come in?"

"I already set some up."

We set up a few more anyway. A few minutes later the door was closed and he was sitting in front of my desk, pouring out his story. Apparently, he hated Umbridge (or, as he calls her, Umbitch) just as much as anyone else, and started the IB after she started monitoring the school blog.

"If you hated her so much, why did you join the Inquisitorial Squad?"

He winced. "See, if I hadn't, she would've gotten suspicious. It's not really the kind of offer you refuse. And you probably remember that I quit..."

"I thought she kicked you out."

"I provoked her so she would. During that career advisory thing, I told her I was going to invent a cure for ugly and asked if she wanted to be the first tester."

I laughed, and he went on. He kept the IB up throughout the summer and over last year because he needed a private place to record his thoughts. Oddly enough, his reasons for joining YKW were the same as his reasons for joining Umbitch: It's not the kind of offer you refuse.

"So how did you end up turning traitor?"

He glanced over his shoulder to make sure nobody was watching. Of course, no one was. "In a word, Hermione. We started going out last year after Pansy dumped me and Ron was mean to her--we both wanted to make them jealous, but we ended up as friends."

Hermione found out his secret after the infamous incident in the bathroom, and, after Dumbledore's death, convinced him to turn traitor.

"The Order wanted me to make another blog for them, so I did. And since the Carrows are here, the DA wanted to use the IB, so I revamped it. And that's pretty much it."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, I chuckled.

"I never would have suspected you."

He grinned. "That's a good thing."

"So I gathered."

By the time he left, the pieces all fit together. But that fact didn't make the news that Draco Malfoy is not only E but a traitor any less surprising. I'm _still _trying to take it all in.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Well, I told McGonagall everything--from going against Umbitch to turning traitor.

She took it surprisingly well.

The best thing, though, is that she won't tell the Carrows. It's pretty much a guarantee.

* * *

_Please, please, PLEASE don't send me a ton of reviews saying stuff like "Well, actually, if you've read the incredibly obscure commentary made by JK Rowling on Oprah, you'd know that McGonagall's classroom was actually under 24-hour supervision by an army of highly trained tree sloths who, oddly enough, also happened to be die-hard Death Eaters." All I'm doing is expanding upon what Neville told Harry in DH. _


	127. Chapter 127

_Sorry I didn't mention this in the last chapter, but here's a quick guide to who everyone is on the IB: _

_KiltedStranger: Theodore Nott  
HorseLuver14: Ginny Weasley  
Loony: Luna Lovegood  
ADHDRocks: Colin Creevey  
PressingOn: Asteria Greengrass _

_BTW, Asteria's name was given as both Asteria and Astoria, so I just picked the version I liked better. _

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

Since the famous Caterwauling Charm prank on the Carrows, two things have happened:

1. I've begun to hate them even more, since they were both so whiney about the whole thing, and  
2. I've been inspired to pull my own Weasley-style prank and plan to pull it in a few days.

This is going to be awesome.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**Subject: New Hideout **

Since the Room of Requirement is all the way up on the seventh floor and nobody ever goes into Myrtle's bathroom, Professor McGonagall and I have set up a few protective enchantments around the bathroom. Be careful to go in one at a time, and any guys who want to hide out in there...well, just make sure the corridor is clear before you enter. Trust me, Myrtle will be happy to see you.

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Hideout **

What kind of enchantments? Sorry, just curious.

**Posted by: Pressing On **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Hideout **

Mostly enchantments that'll repel most everyone except DA members. Drake came up with this great charm that makes it so everyone who isn't a DA member--everyone who doesn't know Myrtle and the password--will smell this horrible stench and hear less-than-inviting noises coming from the bathroom.

**Posted by: Faith and Fear **

* * *

**Subject: Um...**

...ew.

**Posted by: Pressing On **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Um...**

It won't work for YOU...lol. I told Myrtle you'd be coming. Besides, it should repel most everyone except Amycus because he's used one of our bathrooms before, and let me tell you, what he does in there is UNHOLY. The other enchantments should hold up, though.

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Um...**

TMI!

**Posted by: Pressing On **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Um...**

What does TMI mean?

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Um...**

It means Too Much Information.

**Posted by: Pressing On **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Um...**

Sorry...

**Posted by: You Can Call Me E **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Um...**

lol. That's okay.

**Posted by: Pressing On **

* * *

**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

I finally got to talk to Drake tonight. In person, not online.

I had just finished showering and was heading back to Ravenclaw when I saw Alecto up ahead. She hadn't seen me yet, but I wasn't really in the mood for another round of "Muggles are so stupid and you're no different, you filthy Mudblood," so I ducked inside Myrtle's bathroom before she saw me.

Drake was in there, sitting against a wall, typing away on his laptop. Myrtle was sitting there with him, reading over his shoulder. They both looked up as I came in.

"Hey Asteria," said Myrtle.

"Hey Teri," he said, not sounding at all annoyed that I'd intruded.

I smiled. "Hey. Uh, what're you doing?"

"Talking with Myrtle here." Myrtle gave a little wave.

"Online?"

"I always type out what I'm saying to her."

"Sort of tradition," Myrtle said.

Drake grinned. "And there's more privacy that way." He shut off his computer and closed it. "So what're you doing here?"

"Hiding from the Carrows."

"They in the hall?"

"Alecto was. I wasn't really in the mood for another round of "Let's Torment the Muggleborn," so I came in here.

He looked oddly guilty. "Ah. So...uh, how's...life?"

"Life is okay. You?"

"Same."

Neither of us said anything for a minute. I raked my hands through my half-dried hair, trying to find something to say. "I like the blog," I said at last.

"Glad you do."

For the next fifteen minutes, we discussed Hogwarts and how much we liked having a place on the Internet where the Carrows couldn't intrude. Eventually, however, we said goodnight and went our separate ways so we wouldn't miss curfew.

He's even cuter up close. And very polite, and sweet, and STILL fun to talk to in person.

In short, I like him even more.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Teri and I met in Myrtle's bathroom today and finally got to talk in person. Mostly just about Hogwarts-y stuff and how much we like the IB. (I'm just glad she doesn't think it's lame!)

I'd only seen her a few times before, and then from a distance, but this time I got to see her up close...and she's really cute. She's short, with short brown hair and blue eyes. Like I said, she's really cute. Makes me even madder that the Carrows hate her so much.

* * *


	128. Chapter 128

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0 **

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

_**Kilted Stranger **_

Well, I pulled my first prank today. It was immensely satisfying.

After the Caterwauling Charms prank, I found a way to make tuba sounds come out of my wand. It took a while, especially since it had to be nonverbal, but I finally found a way to make it work. After that, all I had to do was wait for DA with Amycus Carrow.

He's always dropping things--papers, books, his wand--which means he has to bend over and pick them up. The first time he dropped his wand, I waved mine under the table and...

**_BLAAAAAT! _**

He turned around, looking for the source, but of course he didn't find it. In his hurry, he knocked over a stack of books, and you can guess what happened when he bent over to pick them up.

**_BLAAAT!! _**

By now the class was laughing so hard Amycus couldn't get a word in edgewise. Draco was laughing so hard he could scarcely breathe, and Millicent's face was bright red.

As for me, I was happier than I think I've ever been.

**

* * *

Attention Defi...I LIKE PUDDING!! **

**_ADHD Rocks _**

Teri has been talking with Drake a lot. Not totally sure what to think about that...I'm happy for her and all, but it's just a little weird. I mean, she's a Muggleborn and he's a Death Eater! Sure, he IS a traitor, and he IS risking his life to help us...

It just seems like a weird crush to me, that's all.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Teri and I met in the bathroom again tonight, but it wasn't fun--not like our usual meetings, I mean.

When I got there, it was pretty late--about two hours before curfew. Teri was curled up on the bathroom floor, crying. I hurried over and knelt down beside her, then asked Myrtle if she knew what had happened.

"Detention," she said, and I didn't need to ask more.

"Teri?" I said, touching her shoulder. "Are...are you okay?" I knew the answer, but thought it might be a good idea to ask. Pansy had always wanted me to ask what had happened, even when I knew the answer already.

Sitting up, she shook her head.

"What happened?"

"It...it was awful! We had this pop quiz in Muggle Studies, and it was _impossible_! Questions about why Muggles can't use magic, and whether or not it has anything to do with being smart, and the rest were really mean, but I did the best I could and then I gave it to Alecto..."

"What happened then?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"She corrected it right _there, _right in front of me, and told me I'd failed...and when I told her I hadn't thought the quiz was fair, she gave me detention...with Crabbe and Goyle..." She started crying again, and somehow we ended up hugging, with Teri crying into my shoulder as I held her. It took everything I had to not leave right then and go see how Crabbe and Goyle liked being tortured.

"They really like it," she said after a minute, sniffing. "That's what made it worse. Some of the others don't like it so much, but with them..."

She started crying again, and I held her closer. One thought flashed through my mind: I hope I can keep avoiding helping out with detention.

After a minute, her sobs turned into hiccups. "If it'll make you feel better, someone pulled a prank on Amycus today."

She pulled away slightly and looked at me. "Who? What prank?"

I smiled, remembering. "Nobody's sure who, but whoever it was found a way to make tuba sounds come out of his wand."

She smiled, too. She knew where this was going.

"Anyway, when Amycus dropped his wand and bent to pick it up, Tuba Guy made tuba sounds come out of his..."

Teri laughed. "That's amazing! Wish I could do that!"

I laughed with her.

* * *


	129. Chapter 129

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

Hermione and I have been talking about going to Godric's Hollow.

It makes sense...I mean, Bathilda Bagshot lives there, and she and Dumbledore were friends, so he might have given her the sword to give to us.

Hopefully, it'll be there.

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0 **

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

Ugh...I hate the flu.

This one is especially bad because for the first twenty-four hours or so, I couldn't get up. Not without feeling dizzy, that is. The slightest movement made me puke, and even now I have to stay under the covers to keep from shivering. And of course, I can't breathe.

I've decided to blame it on Pansy. She got it first, followed by half of the seventh year girls. Once she thought she'd recovered, we kissed, and she gave it to _me._ Now all the seventh year guys are going to get it, and there's still the lower year students...

WHEN WILL IT ALL END?!

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**PressingOn: **Hey Drake...you okay? You've seemed kind of...distracted lately.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, fine. Just not feeling well. The flu's been going around Slytherin.

**PressingOn: **Oooohhhh...that sucks.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. Theo has it now, and I think I'm next...

**Loony: **Ooohhhh...be careful or you'll get sick over Christmas! And that wouldn't be fun...

**ADHDRocks: **Gee, THAT was helpful, Nostradamus!

**Loony: **...I'm almost insulted.

**ADHDRocks: **lol.

**PressingOn: **So...is everyone excited for Christmas?

**ADHDRocks: **Me!

**Loony: **I can't wait to go home!

**YouCanCallMeE: **...Sorry, but two weeks with Aunt Spazzy isn't really my idea of a good time...

**Confuzzled: **By Aunt Spazzy, you mean Bellatrix Lestrange, right?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah.

**PressingOn: **Wait...she's your AUNT?!

**YouCanCallMeE:** Yeah.

**PressingOn: **Wow...poor you.

**ADHDRocks: **Is she ugly?

**Confuzzled: **Wow...that was random...

**ADHDRocks: **ADD, remember? And I was just wondering...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yes. She's VERY ugly.

**ADHDRocks: **How ugly?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hold on...I'll put up a picture of her...

**Confuzzled: **Wait...you have a PICTURE of her?

**YouCanCallMeE: **She gave it to me before I came here this year. To remember her by, she said.

**Confuzzled: **o.0

**YouCanCallMeE: **She's crazy, too. Course, you probably already knew that...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Here she is!

**PressingOn:** ...she's human, right?

**YouCanCallMeE: **She likes to think so.

**Loony: **She's just as ugly as she was last time I saw her. Uglier, actually.

**ADHDRocks: **Wow...

**YouCanCallMeE: **What?

**ADHDRocks: **That...that's not fun to look at...

* * *

**Attention Defici...I LIKE PUDDING! **

**_ADHD Rocks _**

Bellatrix Lestrange is UGLY.

That's all.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Ugh. No doubt about it, I'm getting the flu.

I already owled Mum, and she said she'd come and get me when the Express came in.

I can't help feeling that there's something I was supposed to be doing...too tired to think, though.

Naptime.

* * *

_What does Draco's flu have to do with the plot? Well, remember that Luna was captured and taken to Malfoy Manor when she got off the Hogwarts Express for Christmas..._


	130. Chapter 130

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Confuzzled: **Has anyone seen Luna?

**PressingOn: **No...why?

**Confuzzled: **She was supposed to IM me once she got home.

**PressingOn:** Maybe she just got distracted by something.

**Confuzzled: **I don't know...I mean, her dad HAS been writing some pretty inflammatory stuff in the Quibbler...

**PressingOn: **You think she was captured?

**Confuzzled: **It's a possibility.

**FaithAndFear: **But if so, why didn't Draco do anything about it?

**PressingOn: **Maybe he couldn't. Or he didn't know.

**Confuzzled: **Or maybe he just didn't care.

**FaithAndFear: **Neville, of COURSE he'd care!

**Confuzzled: **Then why didn't he warn her?

**PressingOn: **Well, he WAS getting the flu, last we talked to him...

**Confuzzled: **And THAT'S a good excuse for letting Luna get captured!

**ADHDRocks: **Actually, it sort of is...

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey guys...

**PressingOn: **Drake!

**ADHDRocks: **You're alive!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...barely.

**Confuzzled: **Where's Luna?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Um...I think Aunt Spazzy said she's in our cellar...

**Confuzzled: **WHAT?! You sound awful calm about it!

**PressingOn: **At least she's not in Azkaban!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. Look, Neville, I'm not too happy about it either, but right now I kind of have to focus on not puking up breakfast, so if you don't mind...?

**PressingOn: **See, Neville? TOLD you he had the flu.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. And it sucks...

**Confuzzled: **Okay, I'm sorry I got mad at you for not protecting Luna. I guess you DID have a valid excuse.

**ADHDRocks: **So what have you been doing, Drake?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Umm...for the past two days or so? Sleeping, mostly. I puked all over Aunt Spazzy when I first got here.

**PressingOn: **You did?!

**Confuzzled: **You're kidding, right?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Nope. :D

**PressingOn: **Can we have the details? Please?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Well, I was really dizzy when I got off the train, and then Mum decided to Apparate us home, so by the time we got there, I KNEW was going to puke. I thought, may as well make the most of it, and since Aunt Spazzy was standing right in front of me, I puked all over her.

**Confuzzled: **Well, congratulations. You've lived out one of my lifelong fantasies. How does it feel?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Immensely satisfying.

**Confuzzled: **Is Luna okay?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I don't know. I haven't been able to see her yet. I think so.

**Confuzzled: **Once you're feeling better, can I talk to her?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Sure.

* * *

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

I know I shouldn't be mad at Drake. I mean, getting the flu really isn't his fault. And the only reason he didn't rescue Luna is because he was busy puking all over Bellabitch, but still. I've spent the past two days going crazy, wondering if she's alive, dead or in Azkaban!

At least she's in Draco's cellar. It's safer than Azkaban, at least.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Ugh...haven't been able to log on these past few days. Yeah. It's that bad--the flu, I mean. Add the overall suckyness of the flu to the fact that Aunt Spazzy has been really bitchy about the fact that I was too sick to capture Luna (that, and the fact that the first thing I did once I got here was puke all over her) and it's been a pretty sucky weekend. (BTW, I didn't even know I was SUPPOSED to help capture her...not that I'm complaining, of course.)

The only good thing about being sick is Mum.

It's weird, I know, that I like being babied, but it's only when I'm sick that I like it. Which is good, because she only babies me when I'm sick. But it's cool--she's the only one in this house who doesn't seem to mind that I got sick at what everyone else thinks is the worst possible time. (For me, the timing is perfect.)

Sometimes I get the feeling that she's the only one in this house who actually likes me.

* * *


	131. Chapter 131

_OK guys, I'll need the chapters you promised me soon...please? _

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

Today was Christmas, and Dad and I went over to the Malfoys for dinner. Interesting, to say the least. I got my first close-up look at Bellatrix Lestrange (or, as Draco calls her, Aunt Spazzy), and all I can say now is that I feel deep pity for Draco, having to spend his Christmas break around that lady. She is NOT attractive--and the whole "pretty on the inside" theory is moot when it comes to her.

For the simple reason that Aunt Spazzy prowled the first floor, Draco and I retreated upstairs to his room. Although she rarely enters his room, he locked the door.

"Will it stop her?" I asked.

"Probably not. But it'll at least tell her I want to be left alone, and Mum'll really throw the book at her if she breaks in."

We started out with small talk--classes, the Slytherin flu, etc. The conversation turned to Aunt Spazzy and, from there, we somehow got on the topic of YKW.

"Yeah, Dad's been saying I should join," I said, surprised when Draco looked away, then suddenly went to his desk and got a roll of parchment and a quill, then turned on the radio. "Uh, what do you think? I mean, since you have already...?"

"I guess that's kind of up to you," he said, scribbling something on the parchment and showing it to me.

_Don't listen to what I'm saying, _it said. _Just read what I'm writing here. _

_Okay, _I wrote. _You didn't answer my question, though. _

_Don't do it, _he wrote back. Out loud, though, he said something about how joining YKW was hard, but worth it.

"Really?" I asked out loud. _Why not? _

"Oh yeah," he said. _Because YKW is mean--_he crossed that out--_cruel and he'll want you to be just as cruel as he is. The only reason I joined is because he prety much threatened to kill my family if I didn't. _

_Oh. But...what if he...you know..._

_Offers you the Mark? Run. _

_Where? _

_Go to the Order. _

_The Order? _

_They helped me. _

Our eyes met. He'd practically just told me he'd turned traitor, but I had to know for sure.

_Are you helping them? _

He hesitated. _Yes. _

_You're kidding, right? _

_Helping them defeat YKW is the only way out. _

_And you're taking it. _

_Yes. _

"Love this song," he said to give any eavesdroppers a reason for the silence. To be honest, I had no idea what song was playing.

"Yeah, me too." _I won't tell anyone. _

_I didn't think you would. That's why I told you. _

The rest of the day was a blur. A cheerful blur, but a blur nonetheless. Draco played along with everyone else, so I did too, hoping Dad wouldn't guess what I'd discovered through something that showed on my face.

I've thought about what he said all night after we got home, and the more I think about it, the more I see that he's right. Besides, joining YKW would mean joining the Carrows, and that does not sound pleasant.

* * *

**Falcon: **Harry? Hermione? Either of you on?

**Otter: **I'm on...

**Falcon: **You're okay?

**Otter: **For the most part...Harry's still hurt, but he'll recover.

**Falcon: **YKW said you guys got away...what happened?

**Otter: **Um, we went to see Bathilda Bagshot because we thought she might have something we need, but it turned out to be Nagini...we got away, but the curse I used broke Harry's wand...

**Falcon: **Oh...ouch.

**Otter: **Yeah...

**Falcon:** But you're both okay?

**Otter: **Yeah. You?

**Falcon: **Yeah.

* * *

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

I am such an idiot.

Mione and I went into Godric's Hollow, found Bathilda--who turned out to be Nagini--and almost got killed, and I didn't realize it was a trap because she was speaking Parseltongue and wouldn't speak it in front of Mione.

On top of all that, my wand broke and we can't repair it.

Crap.

* * *


	132. Chapter 132

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

So...

Yesterday was Christmas, and Theo and his dad came over for dinner. Nice to have a friend around, especially since Aunt Spazzy _still _hasn't gotten the hint that she is NOT my favorite aunt (even if she IS the only one...)

Theo and I retreated up to my room and talked for a while. Somehow, we got on the topic of YKW. Apparently, his dad has been trying to convince him to join up, and he asked me what I thought. So I told him--I told him everything.

Well, I couldn't just let him join! Not without knowing how sucky it is. So I ended up telling him about helping the Order. He promised not to tell anyone, and I just hope he doesn't. But I don't think he will. The fact that he was trying to decide whether to join or not is sort of an indicator that he doesn't really want to.

Aside from that, I'm feeling better, so late tonight I'm going to head down to the cellar and let Luna talk with Neville. I told him 2:47 AM, so I'm just hoping I can pull an all-nighter.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Loony: **Neville?

**Confuzzled: **Luna? Thank God you're okay!

**Loony: **Yeah...I'm alive, at least.

**Confuzzled: **They didn't hurt you or anything, did they?

**Loony: **Just a few bruises.

**Confuzzled: **Good...so what happened?

**Loony: **I'm still not totally sure...one minute I was stepping off the Express, and the next minute someone grabbed me, and then we Apparated to the Malfoy's house.

**Confuzzled: **I'd heard that Draco had the flu, so that's why he didn't help you.

**Loony: **That's what his mum said.

**Confuzzled: **What do you mean?

**Loony: **When they brought me here, one of them asked why Draco didn't help, and his mum said it was because he had the flu.

**Confuzzled: **Wait...he was supposed to help capture you?

**Loony: **I think so.

**Confuzzled: **Weird...

**Loony: **Yeah. I also heard that he puked all over Bellabitch.

**Confuzzled: **He told us. I couldn't stop laughing.

**Loony: **She still had puke all over her when I got there.

**Confuzzled: **ROFL!! Wish I could have seen that...

**Loony: **It was awesome.

**Confuzzled: **Sorry your Christmas sucked.

**Loony: **It's okay. Draco brought me some leftovers tonight, and I got to see Bellabitch all covered in puke, so I guess that sort of makes up for some of it.

**Confuzzled: **Still, it sucks. Gran and I are trying to figure out how to get you out of there.

**Loony: **Don't do anything stupid.

**Confuzzled: **Are you kidding? I'm the leader of the DA! As far as anyone else is concerned, stupid is my middle name!

**Loony: **Neville Stupid Longbottom...hmmm...just doesn't sound right...

**Confuzzled: **I thought it had a certain ring to it.

**Loony: **Well, you go on thinking that...

**Confuzzled: **We tried to get a message to your dad, but all the owls are watched.

**Loony: **And he believes that computers let Death Eaters watch him.

**Confuzzled: **Really?

**Loony: **Yeah. Weird, huh? I tried to tell him otherwise, but he didn't believe me.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

I've been listening to Muggle music a lot lately--when Dad isn't around, of course. He'd probably kill me if he caught me listening to it. But this blog has a proxy search engine, so why not?

I've been listening to one song in particular: Don Henley's "Dirty Laundry." I first started listening to it because I liked the beat, but then I listened to the lyrics. It's pretty powerful stuff:

_I make my living off the evening news  
Just give me something, something I can use  
People love it when you lose  
They love dirty laundry _

Reading the _Daily Prophet, _I keep thinking of that song.

_We got the bubble-headed bleach-blond who comes on at five  
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye  
It's interesting when people die--  
Give us dirty laundry _

More so, Dad gave me a copy of _The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore _for Christmas. I keep wondering how much of it is actually true--and hearing "Dirty Laundry."

_Dirty little secrets  
Dirty little lies  
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie  
We love to cut you down to size  
We love dirty laundry _

_Kick 'em when they're up  
Kick 'em when they're down  
Kick 'em when they're up  
Kick 'em when they're down _

_Kick 'em when they're up  
Kick 'em when they're down  
Kick 'em when they're stiff  
Kick 'em all around _

I get the distinct impression that I'm not getting the whole story.

* * *

_If you've never heard the song "Dirty Laundry," go onto YouTube RIGHT NOW and listen to it. There's a pretty decent video set to clips of Rita Skeeter if you're interested, but whether you watch it or not, listen to the song. And yes, I know I didn't post the entire song, but it's a pretty long song. _


	133. Chapter 133

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

Three things happened last night.

1. I saw a Patronus that led me to the Sword of Gryffindor.  
2. I almost got strangled/ drowned by a horcrux.  
3. Ron came back.

Here's what happened. I saw the Patronus--a doe--and even though I don't know anyone who has that Patronus, I followed it to the river. After all, Patronuses are completely good, and I only know one Death Eater who can cast one. Ironically enough, he's a traitor.

Once I reached the river, it vanished, but there at the bottom was the sword. For a minute I wondered how I should go about getting it, but then I remembered the Sorting Hat's song the first year I came to Hogwarts.

_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart. _What could be more daring than just diving in? Besides, I couldn't think of any other way. So I did...

...and unfortunately, I was still wearing the horcrux, and it seemed to know what I was doing, so it got heavier and heavier. I tried to take it off, but it was also strangling me. I've never been strangled by a locket before, and I hope it never happens again.

I thought I was going to drown. If it hadn't been for Ron, I would have. He pulled me out, looked me in the eye, and said,

"Are you _mental_?"

I figured I probably was, but right then I couldn't answer. I was just so surprised at seeing Ron there, dripping wet, that I couldn't speak.

I took off the locket--it let me now--and set it down. Right then I knew that Ron had to be the one to destroy it. He'd gotten the sword and saved my life, so it was only right that he destroy it.

I asked it to open in Parseltongue, and it did. Two figures popped out--one of me and one of Hermione--and they started insulting Ron. Actually, _insulting _is too mild a term for what they were doing, but it's the closest word I can think of. They started speaking to all of his hidden fears and jealousies--most of which I didn't know.

Finally, he did it. The two figures vanished, and we both knew the horcrux was gone. We were both quiet for a long moment.

"I love Hermione like a sister," I finally said, remembering what locket-Harry and locket-Hermione told Ron. "Nothing more." He nodded, and we headed back to camp.

I should have known Hermione would still be mad at him for leaving, but I guess I was so happy that we'd destroyed one horcrux that I figured she'd be happy to see him. Not so. The instant she recognized him, she attacked him and it took me several minutes to calm her down.

This morning, Ron told us everything that had happened to him. After he left, he got caught by Snatchers, but got away with one of their wands. He gave it to me after hearing about mine, but for some reason it hasn't been working very well, so Hermione said I could keep using hers for the blog.

Anyway, the Deluminator helped him find us. It makes me wonder...why did Dumbledore give me the Snitch? He knew Ron would need the Deluminator, and he knew Hermione would need the book, so what does the Snitch have to do with me? I've given up trying to open it because I have no idea what "the close" means.

I guess I'll find out when I'm supposed to.

* * *

**Let Love In **

**_Otter _**

Ron is back.

I can't believe him! He _abandons_ us and then comes back and expects everything to be_ fine_? Sure, he saved Harry's life and destroyed one of the horcruxes, but that doesn't change the fact that he _left_!

I'm sure I'll be glad to have him back before too long. But right now I'm too mad.

* * *

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

Well...I came back. Which was smart of me.

But I left. Which was dumb.

And that's why I'm the world's smartest idiot.

Mione is still mad at me, but I think she's starting to cool off a little. Harry is just glad to have me back, I think.

At least one of the horcruxes is gone.

* * *

_Just in case you're wondering, Harry does NOT know that Snape can cast a Patronus. Maybe he suspects, but he isn't sure, hence the wording in his blog post. _


	134. Chapter 134

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

Today we're going to go see Luna's dad. Maybe he'll be able to tell us something. That, and it'll be nice to see Luna again.

* * *

**Falcon: **Are you guys okay? I heard you had another close call...

**Terrier: **WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US LUNA WAS IN AZKABAN?!

**Falcon: **She's NOT in Azkaban; she's in my cellar! And you never asked!

**Falcon: **You got away, at least. Are you okay?

**Terrier: **Yeah. We're fine. Xeno didn't get in trouble or anything, did he?

**Falcon: **No. Just yelled at a little.

**Terrier: **Guess that's better than dead.

**Falcon: **Yeah.

**

* * *

**

**Let Love In **

_**Otter **_

It was another Godric's Hollow. In other words, a complete disaster.

At least we got away...and Luna's dad didn't get in trouble.

Thank God.

* * *

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

Just a few more days of vacation, and then I go back to Hogwarts.

Ugh.

I used to look forward to this. I mean, sure, I missed my parents, but I loved Hogwarts. It was one of my favorite places. What happened?

In a word, the Carrows. The Carrows happened.

I'm tempted to stay here. Mum and Dad don't know what's going on--the owls are watched and I haven't told them much--but if I did, I'm sure they'd understand. They'd probably even encourage me to stay.

Maybe that's why I haven't told them. Because like Colin said, if we leave, we let them win. We're showing them that they can push us around, and that's obviously not a good thing. Besides, things might get better.

Or maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt. Either way, I kind of want to see it happen.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

So.

Yes, I know that's not a complete sentence. And it bugs me that it's the only way I could think of to start off this blog post, but...anyways...

I've been thinking about what Draco told me ever since Christmas. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, and I don't plan to. But I've realized that just keeping his secret won't be enough.

If I'm not for YKW--and I'm not--then I must be against him. And if I'm against him, then I'm in a highly precarious position. So I should logically be doing something to get out of that precarious position--namely, helping those who want him defeated.

By a different thread of logic, if Draco is helping the Order, then he must also be helping the DA.

You can probably guess what I'm going to do.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**YouCanCallMeE: **We might have another ally.

**Confuzzled: **Who?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Someone in Slytherin.

**PressingOn: **Slytherin?

**ADHDRocks: **Ummm...aren't most of them...bad?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I'm in Slytherin.

**Confuzzled: **You're more of an exception than a rule, though.

**PressingOn: **Who is it?

**YouCanCallMeE:** Have any of you met Theodore Nott?

**Confuzzled: **Isn't his dad a Death Eater?

**YouCanCallMeE: **So is mine. He knows I'm a traitor--I told him at Christmas.

**Confuzzled: **Okay...WHY would you do that?

**YouCanCallMeE: **His dad's been pressuring him to join YKW, and I told him not to--secretly, of course--and he sort of guessed at the truth, so I thought I may as well tell him.

**Confuzzled: **So you asked him to join the DA.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Actually, he approached me.

**Confuzzled: **He might be baiting us--saying he's going to join us and then telling the Carrows everything we know.

**YouCanCallMeE: **I highly doubt that. The fact that he had reservations about joining YKW shows that he probably won't betray us. Besides, he hates the Carrows. He told me himself.

**Confuzzled: **Why does he hate the Carrows?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Because they're mean, annoying, and have terrible grammar.

**Confuzzled: **Ummm...grammar isn't the strongest reason...

**YouCanCallMeE: **You don't know Theo. He LOVES grammar. It's like his life force or something.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just give him a chance. I won't give him the password for this blog right away, if you'd rather. We need more allies in Slytherin.

**PressingOn: **He has a point.

**ADHDRocks: **Teri's right. And if I'm not mistaken, the Carrows like him, so he could REALLY help us.

**Confuzzled: **Oh, all right. Tell Myrtle he's on our side.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

So it's done. I'm now an official member of the DA.

Well, that's not entirely true. The leader--he wouldn't tell me who--had some reservations about adding another Slytherin, so I'm a member on temporary probation. But I got access to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom (which is apparently a DA hideout, not just continually in use by Amycus Carrow) and met a few of the other members. Not the leader--that'll come later.

I've never been so nervous or excited. This is probably because I've never helped a traitor before.

* * *


	135. Chapter 135

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0 **

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

I am now an official member of the DA. Why? I unknowlingly helped one of their members.

What happened was this: Amycus Carrow volunteered me to do detention today. I guess he hasn't up until now because he thought I'd like it, but something happened to convince him that I hate the idea of torturing people. I don't know what it was; I suspect Dad told him. Whatever the reason, I got signed up to practice the Cruciatus Curse on some poor Muggleborn.

I knew before I got there that I couldn't do it. All day I'd been thinking of a way to get out of it, but I don't play Quidditch and I don't have much homework. Feigning sudden illness wouldn't have worked, either; the Carrows both know I had the flu weeks ago and was feeling fine this morning.

When I got to the dungeon, there was a girl waiting there, chained to the wall. I remember thinking, _Perfect. A girl. I have to torture a girl. A cute one, too. _And she WAS cute--short brown hair and blue eyes. (I later learned her name was Asteria.)

The plan was so simple and it hit me so suddenly I laughed. I knew Asteria was staring at me, so I explained.

"Sorry," I said in a whisper, glancing around the corner to make sure there were no Carrows lurking. "Um, I don't believe in torturing girls--well, anyone, but girls especially--so...how about I just shout 'Crucio' at the wall and you scream?"

She looked surprised, but nodded. So until Amycus came back, that's what we did. I guess it sounded realistic--and Asteria is a good actor--because when Amycus finally returned, he smiled that wicked little smile that makes me want to strangle him.

"Well done, Theodore!" He sounded genuinely pleased. I smiled as he released Asteria and rudely told her to go back to her dorm.

On my way back to Slytherin, Draco beckoned me into Myrtle's bathroom. All three of them--him, Myrtle and Asteria--were grinning.

"What?" I said.

"You're in."

"In wha--wait...you mean the DA?" Draco nodded.

"Teri here was just telling me what you did--"

"And I messaged the leader, and he said you're in!" Asteria finished.

"Awesome! Th-thanks!"

They gave me the password to the DA section of the IB, and told me who everyone was. I never would have guessed that Draco is E, but given the fact that he's a traitor, it makes sense.

I know I'll be putting myself in danger, but I can't stop smiling.

* * *

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

Theo couldn't have picked a better time to join the DA. Not because things are getting better and it's slightly less dangerous for new members to join, but because things are getting steadily worse and we needed a Slytherin--someone the Carrows like who can use his connections to help everyone else. And that's exactly what he and Draco have been doing.

I honestly don't know what we'd do without them. I know that probably sounds sort of cheesy and sentimental, but I really don't know what we'd do if they weren't helping us. Sure, we have McGonagall, but the Carrows don't like her or trust her. She can't fake the Cruciatus Curse or surreptitiously guard DA members and Muggleborns while acting like they're teasing them. (It seems impossible, but the way Draco explained it, "You just fire off a few insults while the Carrows are around--insults that they know you don't mean--and while you're insulting them, the Carrows will assume you've got it covered and leave them alone.)

Bottom line: I'm glad not all Slytherins are jerks.

* * *

**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

I said a while ago that I like Draco Malfoy. That hasn't changed. Better yet, I think he likes me!

We still talk whenever we see each other in Myrtle's bathroom (we've actually started planning meetings), and we talk online almost every night. And he and Theo have started something very helpful (and funny): When they see us DA members in the hall, they start fake-insulting us. Meaning, they hurl insults that we know they don't mean and THEY know don't hurt, so the Carrows and other Slytherins will think "Oh, they have it covered" and leave us alone.

Well, when the Carrows can hear, Draco's insults are usually limited to "Filthy Mudblood" and "Mudblood." When they're out of earshot, though, he says stuff like "Your hair smells like peanuts" and "My wet shoes bark at the moon." It's REALLY hard not to laugh when he does that.

Just this morning, Alecto was listening, so he said "Filthy Mudblood." I pretended to look hurt, but once she was out of earshot, I yelled back "I shower more than you do!" He turned, grinned, and walked off.

It's shameless the way we flirt.

* * *

_FYI, I'll need "Malfoy Manor" within the next few weeks..._


	136. Chapter 136

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Confuzzled: **lol...does anyone else like the song "I'm Lion-O" by Relient K?

**YouCanCallMeE: **lol! That song is HILARIOUS!

**KiltedStranger: **What song? Who's Relient K?

**ADHDRocks: **o.0 You don't know Relient K?!

**KiltedStranger: **I'm not really an expert on Muggle music...I like it, but I'm not an expert...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Go to the proxy search thingy and type in "Relient K I'm Lion-O." You need a crash course in Muggle music, my friend.

**KiltedStranger: **Okay.

**Confuzzled: **If I didn't know better, I'd think it was written about Gryffindor...I mean, "Fighting evil, we drink milk and we purr a lot/ Ask me to cross them, and I would say I'd rather not!" Sounds like Gryffindor to me!

**PressingOn: **lol! You're right!

**ADHDRocks: **I hereby claim "I'm Lion-O" as Gryffindor's official theme song.

**Clueless: **In that case, I claim "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benetar as Hufflepuff's official theme song.

**PressingOn: **Crap! I was just about to claim that one for Ravenclaw!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Slytherin calls "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath.

**Clueless: **Why "Paranoid"?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Because it's funny and the guitars are AWESOME.

**Confuzzled: **O...kay, then...

**Clueless: **Methinks you've started a trend, Neville.

**Confuzzled: **Methinks you're right.

**PressingOn: **I've got it! In the name of Ravenclaw House, I hereby claim "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana as our official theme song!

* * *

**What's Going On Again? **

**_Clueless _**

Hufflepuff now has a theme song. Come to think of it, so do all the other Houses. Here's what everyone picked:

Gryffindor: "I'm Lion-O"--Relient K  
Ravenclaw: "Smells Like Teen Spirit"--Nirvana  
Slytherin: "Paranoid"--Black Sabbath

And what did Hufflepuff pick? "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benetar, of course! Why? I have no idea. It just seems to fit us. (On a random side note, I can sing that entire song backward.)

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Let Love In **

**_Otter _**

Harry, Ron and I had an interesting conversation last night.

It was about midnight, and we all knew we _should_ sleep, but none of us felt like it. So we lay awake in the dark, talking about random stuff--and then Ron asks the question.

"What would happen if You-Know-Who appeared in the Muggle world?"

"A lot of people would die and he'd cause a lot of collateral damage," Harry said.

"No, no, I mean your neighborhood."

"What if You-Know-Who appeared in my neighborhood?"

"Yeah!"

Harry thought for a minute. "Um, he'd kill me, and then my neighbors would get mad at him for trampling their rosebushes."

"Oh." Silence while I thought about what my neighbors would do if YKW showed up on my street--and I laughed.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked.

"Oh, just thinking about what would happen if You-Know-Who showed up on my street."

"What?"

"Well," I began, "the people down the street from us would come running to our house and ask me what to do--they're good friends with my parents and know I'm a witch, you see. After that, the people across the street from us would mix up a batch of homemade black powder (I explained to Ron what black powder is) and join forces with the guy at the end of the block who likes to buy weapons off eBay. The guy at the end of the block would start a militia..." I broke off laughing here, "and our next-door neighbor would run outside with his camera, snapping pictures of You-Know-Who and yelling 'ALIENS!! ALIENS!!'"

Harry laughed, and I explained to Ron what aliens are. "Wouldn't You-Know-Who kill him, though?"

"He might. Then again, you know the guy at the end of the block? Well, he and Alien Guy are really good friends, so if You-Know-Who _did _kill Alien Guy, it wouldn't be long before Hank--that's his name--came out and 'blew him back to Planet Hell,' as he would say."

We all laughed. "Man, Mione, you have the coolest neighbors ever!" Harry said.

"Yeah...I kind of do..."

* * *


	137. Chapter 137

_Okay, sorry I didn't mention this in the last chapter, but Clueless is Hannah Abbot. Again, sorry; I was kind of caught up in thoughts about how cool Hermione's neighbors are! lol. Soooo...I still need "Malfoy Manor" and all of the battle chapters except for "The Battle of Hogwarts." Once again, your entertainment depends on it, so you have until midnight before I sic Voldemort on you. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) _

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**KiltedStranger: **I can't believe how many detentions the Carrows are giving out!

**YouCanCallMeE: **I know! Poor kids...

**KiltedStranger: **I've been thinking...maybe I should start volunteering.

**FaithAndFear: **To torture people?

**KiltedStranger: **To fake it.

**FaithAndFear: **I thought the Cruciatus Curse couldn't be faked.

**KiltedStranger: **I don't know if it can or not, but you heard about what I did with Teri. The Carrows fell for it, too.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oh, right. Now that you mention it, that's not a bad idea.

**FaithAndFear: **But wouldn't the Carrows eventually find out what you're doing?

**KiltedStranger: **Teri never told anyone.

**FaithAndFear: **Others might. Not that I'm saying what you want to do isn't admirable--in a really weird way--but kids would tell their friends and the Carrows would eventually hear about it. Not to mention the other Slytherins...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Not if we bribed them and tried to turn as many Slytherins as we could.

**FaithAndFear: **Bribe them to do what?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Tell their friends how mean we are.

**KiltedStranger: **Hmmm...good idea. And I think Millicent might be close to turning.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, I've noticed you two have been hanging out a lot lately. Pansy doesn't mind?

**KiltedStranger: **Oh, she minds. She minds a LOT. But...I don't know. I'm thinking about breaking up with her.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Really? Why?

**KiltedStranger: **Well, after talking with Millicent...Millicent is actually quite intelligent. And I've noticed how vapid Pansy can be. Not only that, but she likes the Carrows.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Ohh...that's not good. Yeah, after Pansy dumped me, I was upset...till I met Hermione. THEN I realized how vapid Pansy is.

**KiltedStranger: **I thought she had you under a love potion?

**YouCanCallMeE: **That's just what I told everyone so they wouldn't get suspicious. It was actually me who asked her out--to make Ron and Pansy jealous--but we ended up sort of liking each other.

**FaithAndFear: **I didn't know you actually liked her...

**YouCanCallMeE: **What's not to like?

* * *

**ADHDRocks: **Hey Teri...what's up?

**PressingOn: **nm...oh, did I tell you what Draco did this morning?

**ADHDRocks: **No.

**PressingOn: **Well, we were walking out of the Hall after breakfast, and he ran up to me and you know how he'll run up to random DA people and whisper in their ears, like he's saying something mean?

**ADHDRocks: **Yeah...

**PressingOn: **Well, when he did that to me this morning, he said "I mooned Amycus!"

**ADHDRocks: **lol.

**PressingOn: **Yeah, I had to run into the bathroom to laugh...

**ADHDRocks: **You two have been spending a lot of time together...

**PressingOn: **As much as we can without getting caught, of course...which isn't much.

**ADHDRocks: **It's a lot, given the circumstances.

**PressingOn:** What are you getting at, Colin?

**ADHDRocks: **Well...you know what he is!

**PressingOn: **A Death Eater who's risking his life to help us? Yeah, I know what he is.

**ADHDRocks: **Still...

**PressingOn: **He's not going to betray us or anything, if that's what you mean.

**ADHDRocks: **Yeah, I know.

**PressingOn: **And he's not mean--you know he isn't.

**ADHDRocks: **Yeah. You're right.

**

* * *

**

Attention Deficit...I LIKE PUDDING!

**_ADHD Rocks _**

Teri likes Draco, I can tell.

He had better not hurt her.

**

* * *

**

Real Men Wear Kilts

**_Kilted Stranger _**

I have to break up with Pansy. It's a _need. _

Why, you ask? She's driving me crazy! Why did I never notice before how negative she is, or how shallow she can be, or how...pro Carrows she is?! UGH!

I need an excuse, and I need one fast.

* * *


	138. Chapter 138

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**KiltedStranger: **Ugh...does anyone know of a plausible reason for breaking up with someone?

**Confuzzled: **No...sorry...can't help you there.

**PressingOn: **Who are you breaking up with?

**KiltedStranger: **Pansy Parkinson.

**PressingOn: **You're going OUT with her?!

**KiltedStranger: **Unfortunately.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey, I went out with her for a while...

**PressingOn: **You did?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. Fortunately, she dumped me and gave me a chance to get smart.

**KiltedStranger: **So...anyway...does anyone know what I should do?

**ADHDRocks: **You could tell her that zombies are attacking and it's just not a good time to have a girlfriend right now.

**KiltedStranger: **What's a zombie?

**ADHDRocks: **Oh...sorry...it's basically what Muggles call Inferi.

**KiltedStranger: **Oh. I didn't know Muggles had heard of Inferi.

**ADHDRocks: **A few have seen them over the years, but they didn't know what they were, so I guess they came up with their own explanations for them...

**Clueless: **You could tell her that you think it'd be best if you saw other people...

**KiltedStranger: **She'd demand to know who that "other person" is, then hunt that poor girl down and kill her.

**PressingOn: **Just tell her she's a jerk and you don't date jerks because mean people suck.

**KiltedStranger: **I don't want to die...

**ADHDRocks: **Um...you could fake your own death and flee the country...

**KiltedStranger: **I've thought about that, but I keep running into obstacles when I get to the "fleeing the country" part.

**KiltedStranger: **Drake, why did Pansy dump you?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Because I was going through a rough time and she thought I was "too depressing." Guess I was cramping her style.

**PressingOn: **What style? Slutty?

**YouCanCallMeE: **lol.

**KiltedStranger: **Hmmm...I guess I'll come up with something...

* * *

**YouCanCallMeE: **So...I heard you and Pansy split...

**KiltedStranger: **Yes...how did you know?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I heard the two of you arguing.

**KiltedStranger: **You heard that?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I was standing pretty close. I think I was the only one who heard YOUR side of it, but everyone in Slytherin heard Pansy's side. Damn, that girl is shrill!

**KiltedStranger: **Lol. She really is, isn't she?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...

**KiltedStranger: **I'm just glad I didn't have to come up with a reason to dump her.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, she took care of that part on her own.

**KiltedStranger: **Yeah.

**YouCanCallMeE: **So how do you feel?

**KiltedStranger: **FRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!

**YouCanCallMeE: **lol.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Theo and Pansy finally split. If Pansy had any upper arm stregnth, it would have been quite violent.

What happened was this: During our first break, Theo and Pansy came into the common room. Theo shot me a look, so I got up off the couch and moved away. Curiosity kept me from going too far--especially when I heard their conversation--so I hid behind a wall.

It started out rather civilly, thanks mostly to Theo. "I need to talk to you about something, Pansy," he said.

"Really? I've got to talk to you about something, too."

"What is it?"

"Well...I've noticed you've been spending a lot of time with Millicent." I wondered why she didn't add what she was clearly thinking: _If you've been cheating on me, I'm gonna kill you! _

"Yes, we've been talking. Your point?"

"Do you like her_?" Wow, way to be subtle, Pansy. _

"Wha--what?"

"Well, do you?"

"I like her, yes." There was a long pause, and even though I couldn't see them, I knew Pansy was probably turning bright red, looking ready to explode. I don't know what Theo was thinking, but I hoped he'd seen this as the way out he'd been looking for.

"Well there you go," Pansy said.

"There I go...what?"

"You've been cheating on me!"

"Wha...?"

Now she was shouting. "You have! Admit it!"

"Um...yeah. Sorry, Pansy. Things just weren't working between us."

"You two-faced bastard!" She slapped him, stormed off, and I peeked around the corner. I SWEAR I saw Millicent peeking out from the opposite side of the staircase, grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

_I would like to answer both of your questions (Is Theodore Scottish and was his FRRRREEEEDOOOMMMM! shout a nod to _Braveheart) _with a single yes. _


	139. Chapter 139

**The Invisible Blog of Invisibility 2.0**

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

Millicent and I are now dating.

Yes, I know...it _was _rather sudden. One day I'm going out with Pansy, the next day I'm dating Millicent.

It happened after lunch today. Millicent joined me as I left the Great Hall, and, after exchanging pleasantries, we walked in comfortable silence for a moment or two. Then Millicent broached the topic of conversation that I guess had been on her mind since yesterday:

"I heard you and Pansy split."

I chuckled. "Yeah...can't say I'm disappointed, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She and I...well...we just weren't getting along."

"So I heard." Another moment of silence before she laughed. "Actually, I heard the whole thing."

"You did?"

"Mmhmm. Sorry...Pansy's kind of loud, so it was hard _not _to overhear."

I couldn't help agreeing with her on that one. "Did you hear what all we said?"

"Why you broke up with her, you mean?" She grinned. "Yeah, I heard that part."

"Sorry I used you to break up with her."

"I'm not mad. I was just thinking...since you said you were cheating on her with me...I was thinking that it'd only be natural..."

"If you and I went out?"

"Yeah! You know...so she doesn't kill you because you lied to her." She mumbled something under her breath about Pansy being a hypocrite.

I hesitated, thinking it over. Then I smiled. "All right. Guess we're going out, then."

Millicent laughed. "Guess so."

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey Theo...what's up?

**KiltedStranger: **Not much...

**YouCanCallMeE: **I heard you and Millicent are going out...

**PressingOn: **Really? So you dumped Pansy?

**KiltedStranger: **Yeah.

**PressingOn: **And now you're going out with Millicent? Already?

**KiltedStranger:** Yeah...see, it's kind of a long story, but when I broke up with Pansy, I told her I'd been cheating on her with Millicent and she broke up with me, so Millie and I decided that it was only right we start going out.

**PressingOn: **Um...why did you tell her you were cheating on her?

**KiltedStranger: **Mostly because Millie and I had been talking a lot, Pansy got jealous, thought I was cheating on her and accused me of it, and I saw an easy out and took it.

**PressingOn: **Oh...wow...

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yes, Pansy IS rather...melodramatic...

**PressingOn: **Slytherin must be very interesting with her around...

**YouCanCallMeE: **That's one way to put it, yeah.

* * *

**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

I know he's a Death Eater.

I know I'm a Muggleborn.

I know that we could never do anything together except for talk online and in Myrtle's bathroom (which, by the way, still hasn't gotten any less weird...if you don't believe me, try talking to your crush in the bathroom sometime).

But I really really really wish Draco could/would ask me out.

I know he can't.

But it might make this hellhole that was once Hogwarts a little better. For me, anyways.

* * *


	140. Chapter 140

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Terrier: **Anyone on?

**Monkey: **Ron!

**Chimpanzee: **Hey Ron!

**Monkey: **Haven't talked to you for a few days...what's up?

**Terrier: **Not much...as usual.

**Monkey: **Oh...bored out of your skull again?

**Terrier: **Pretty much. We haven't had much more luck with...uh, what we're doing...

**Chimpanzee: **Yeah. Mum's worried about you.

**Terrier: **When is she not?

**Monkey: **Good point.

**Chimpanzee: **Yeah...remember all the letters she'd send us while we were at Hogwarts?

**Terrier: **Yeah...I kind of miss that.

**Chimpanzee: **At least we have this blog.

**Terrier: **Yeah.

**Monkey: **The only downside--for Mum, anyways--is that Percy doesn't know about this blog and we can't tell him about it.

**Terrier: **Assuming he'd actually talk to Mum or Dad or whoever tried to tell him.

**Monkey: **Yeah...he's such a prat.

**Terrier: **Yeah.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Gorkyshlorky: **Hey guys!

**Fervenugen: **Anyone on?

**HorseLuver14:** Fred! George!

**YouCanCallMeE: **What the hell took you so long?

**Fervenugen: **Huh?

**HorseLuver14: **We haven't seen you on here in, like, forever!

**Gorkyshlorky: **It's only been a few weeks...

**Fervenugen: **Things are that bad, eh?

**FaithAndFear: **Let me put it this way: I wish I'd held you back two extra years so we'd have you here at Hogwarts now.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Oooooohhhhh...that IS bad.

**Fervenugen: **Methinks you guys need another prank...

**FaithAndFear: **YES!! YES!! That's EXACTLY what we need!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Please?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Hmmm...not another CC...the Carrows would be expecting that...

**Fervenugen: **I thought of one that involves Peeves, mistletoe, and Amycus' butt.

**FaithAndFear: **Do tell.

**Gorkyshlorky: **How come you never told ME about this one, Fred? 

**Fervenugen: **Well, sorRY! It just hit me last night.

**HorseLuver14: **Anyway...the prank?

**Fervenugen: **Right. The prank. Well, all you really need to do is get Peeves on your side, then he attaches the mistletoe to Amycus' butt, and viola! Everyone at Hogwarts is suddenly either offended or in a good mood!

**YouCanCallMeE: **I'm in.

**FaithAndFear: **Hmm...any suggestions as to how we'd get the annoying--I mean loveable--little poltergeist on our side?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Well...he always liked me and Fred...

**FaithAndFear: **Why am I not surprised?

**Fervenugen: **Just tell him you masterminded that CC prank on the Carrows.

**FaithAndFear: **All right then...

**HorseLuver14: **Neville and I will back you up if you need witnesses.

**YouCanCallMeE: **And Theo and I will leave a bunch of false trails so the Carrows won't trace it to you.

**FaithAndFear: **How can we ever thank you?

**Gorkyshlorky: **Just tell us how it goes. That's all we ask.

* * *

**If This Be My Blog **

**_Horse Luver 14 _**

Professor McGonagall, Neville and I went to find Peeves today--we needed to get him on our side for a prank we have planned. We found him in the corridor near Ravenclaw Tower.

"Peeves," McGonagall said. "We need to talk to you."

"Whatever about?" He was wearing that sticky smile he always wears when he's up to something--which is pretty much every minute of every day.

"We need you to help us...I know this may sound rather unusual, but we need you to help us pull a prank on the Carrows."

He looked surprised--probably just because it was McGonagall asking him for help with a prank. I'd be surprised, too, if I were him. "_You_ need _my_ help with a _prank_? Why, Professor, I'm honored!"

"We thought you might be," she said.

"But you can't tell anyone that we were the ones to help you," Neville put in.

"Yeah," I added. "Because if you help us with this one and don't let anyone know about it, then there'll probably be more pranks for you to help us with in the future. But if you turn us in, no more pranks."

"Again, I'm flattered. But how can I know _you _won't turn on _me _once this is over?"

"Remember that Caterwauling Charm prank, where 'You're Pitiful' followed Amycus around while that song by Relient K followed Alecto?" We all knew by Peeves' laughter that he did. "Well, I'm the one who set it all up. So you see? We're on the same side now."

His grin widened. "What do you need me to do?"

Thanks to Peeves, the prank begins tomorrow.

I love Fred and George.

* * *


	141. Chapter 141

**The Hogwarts Blog **

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Severus?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **There's another...problem...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Clog the toilet again?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **No! And that one time at the Malfoy's was NOT my fault!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Whatever you say. What's the problem?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Everyone I've passed today laughs.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **So?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **So...I sense another prank.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Did you sit in something?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **If I did, I'd KNOW about it!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Don't get mad; I was just asking.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **And I'm asking YOU if you know of any pranks.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Amycus, WHY would a prankster tell ME he was planning a prank? Give me one good reason.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Never mind. I'll figure this out myself.

* * *

**Subject: STOP LAUGHING!! **

STOP laughing at me behind my back! It's NOT funny!

**Posted by: Amycus Carrow **

* * *

**Subject: Um...yes it is...**

Check your butt, Professor.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: What the...**

WHO PUT MISTLETOE ON MY BUTT?!

Wait a second...PUCKER UP AND KISS IT, HOGWARTS?!

Whoever did this is gonna DIE!

**Posted by: Amycus Carrow **

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Fervenugen:** So how'd it go?

**FaithAndFear: **It was HILARIOUS!

**Confuzzled: **Best prank EVER!

**Gorkyshlorky: **Give us ALL the details.

**HorseLuver14: **Well, first we got Peeves to help--like you said.

**Confuzzled: **He said yes almost immediately.

**Fervenugen: **You told him you'd masterminded the CC prank, right?

**HorseLuver14: **Yeah. That's what finally turned him.

**Fervenugen: **Good ol' Peeves.

**ADHDRocks: **Then this morning, Peeves stuck the mistletoe to his butt when Amycus wasn't looking.

**PressingOn: **He also put up a sign that said "PUCKER UP AND KISS IT, HOGWARTS!"

**YouCanCallMeE: **My idea.

**FaithAndFear: **And he's not the brightest, so all morning long he was wondering why everyone was in such a good mood...

**YouCanCallMeE: **So he asked Snape, and apparently Snape didn't say anything, so I finally told him over the blog.

**Gorkyshlorky: **Ooohhhh...fireworks?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oh yeah! He was all like "WHO PUT MISTLETOE ON MY BUTT?" and then when he saw the sign...

**PressingOn: **I'm just surprised he hasn't rounded up everyone he hates for detention yet.

**Fervenugen: **Yeah...

**Gorkyshlorky: **Well, Umbitch never did that, remember?

**ADHDRocks: **True...

**YouCanCallMeE:** Maybe Snape told him not to.

**Confuzzled: **Snape? You serious?

**Gorkyshlorky: **And I quote: "WEASLEYS! Take down the Caterwauling Charm or its five hundred points from Gryffindor!"

**YouCanCallMeE**: He didn't try and get you in trouble when you set off all those fireworks, though...

**Fervenugen: **We'd already left.

**YouCanCallMeE: **He could've told the Ministry.

**Gorkyshlorky: **True...but I don't think Snape would willingly help the DA. Not even a little.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Maybe he just thinks rounding up all the DA members for detention would be a waste of time. I'm not saying he's nice or anything, just that he's not stupid.

**Confuzzled: **Whatever you say.

* * *

**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

Today was a great day. Partly because I didn't get detention, but mostly because Amycus Carrow spent the entire morning with a sprig of mistletoe and a sign that said "PUCKER UP AND KISS IT, HOGWARTS!" stuck to his butt. And even though McGonagall was in on the prank, she still chewed him out.

After he found the sign, she pretended to have just heard about it and gave him a big long lecture about "What do you think you're teaching these impressionable students?!"

It was awesome.

* * *

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

Thank God for the Weasley twins.

Without them, I'd probably die.

The Carrows do that to you.

* * *


	142. Chapter 142

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Falcon: **Mr. Weasley? Moody? Either of you on?

**Weasel: **I am...

**Owl: **Me too. What's the problem?

**Falcon: **Okay...well, this might sound weird, but YKW wants me to create a blog.

**Owl: **I thought he hated Muggle technology.

**Falcon: **Yeah, me too, but I guess he found out how much faster than owls the internet is.

**Weasel: **He didn't find out about this blog, did he?

**Falcon: **If he did, we'd all know about it by now. Dad just pointed out to Aunt Spazzy that I'm on the computer a lot, and since she and YKW posted on the school blog two years ago, she remembered how fast and easy it is, and then Snape remembered how I hacked into his school account when I was 11, and before I knew it...

**Weasel: **You had a command from YKW to create a blog.

**Falcon: **Yeah, pretty much.

**Weasel: **Okay...well, what do you think, Mad-Eye? Should he do it?

**Owl: **Absolutely.

**Falcon: **Seriously?

**Owl: **Yes. It would make it seem as if you're loyal to him--especially if you did as good a job on that one as you did on this one--and it would give us easier access to his plans through you. It would also be a good way to earn YKW's trust without having to kill anyone.

**Falcon: **Huh. Never thought of it like that.

**Weasel: **Me neither...but he's right! Go ahead and do it--just don't use any of the protective charms on that one that you used on this one. We don't want to give them any hints.

**Falcon: **Wasn't planning on it. All right, then. Guess I'll get to work.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Creating a blog to help the Order is one thing.

Creating a blog to help YKW is quite another. And while I like creating blogs, I get the feeling that this one won't be nearly as much fun as the DA and Order blogs were.

At least it'll up my credibility with YKW.

* * *

**The Shadowblog **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**Subject: Uh, hi...**

So...yeah. This is our new blog. Memorize the password and all the crap you have to do to get on here and then burn the paper I gave you. Or something to that effect.

If you have any suggestions, tell me.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: A Suggestion **

Hello, Draco. I must say, this blog is rather impressive--except for the name. Change the name. Do that, and I might have to rethink my opinion of you.

**Posted by: Lord Voldemort **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

I completely agree, my lord! Draco, how on earth did you come up with a name so stupid? You get an e-Crucio for that.

**Posted by: Bellatrix Lestrange **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

Uh, sorry. I was kind of tired from staying up all night working on this blog and "Shadowblog" was the best I could come up with. What should I change the name to, my lord?

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

How about "Whoever Put Mistletoe On Amycus Carrow's Butt is Gonna Die?"

**Posted by: Amycus Carrow **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion**

Too long. You'd get CTS just typing in the address every day.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

Wat iz CTS? crowching Tygurs seenging?

**Posted by: Crabbe and Goyle **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. It's when your wrists start to hurt because you've been typing too much.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

O. that mayks sens.

**Posted by: Crabbe and Goyle **

* * *

**Subject: RE: A Suggestion **

Back to the whole name thing...I'll come up with something. Something non-lame. Promise.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

_Several of you suggested Voldemort make a return...and there he is. _


	143. Chapter 143

**Bob **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**Subject: New Name **

Since pretty much everyone agreed that the name Shadowblog was lame, I changed it to Bob.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Name **

Bob is even worse! Sometimes I wonder why I ever put you in charge of anything, Draco...

**Posted by: Lord Voldemort

* * *

**

**Subject: RE: New Name **

You get another e-Crucio for that, Draco.

**Posted by: Bellatrix Lestrange **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Name **

I actually thought it was sort of clever...

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Name **

Your mother and I both liked it, Draco.

**Posted by: Lucius Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Name **

Thanks Dad...thanks Professor...I'll probably change it anyways...

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: New Name **

Excellent idea, Draco.

**Posted by: Lord Voldemort **

* * *

**The Fun Blog of Happiness **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**Subject: Name **

That better? Before you say no, my lord, let me point out that nobody will ever suspect this of being a Death Eater blog.

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

I DON'T CARE!! CHANGE THE NAME!!

**Posted by: Lord Voldemort **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

Before you change it, Draco, I would like to point out that your mother is having trouble breathing, she's laughing so hard.

**Posted by: Lucius Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

Oh. Well, since it's a health hazard, I should probably change it...

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**The Blog That Must Not Be Named **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**Subject: Name **

How's that one?

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

I suppose it's the best name you've come up with thus far, so it will have to do.

**Posted by: Lord Voldemort **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

iznt it a litul long?

**Posted by: Crabbe and Goyle **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

It isn't that long. You'll manage.

By the way, I like it.

**Posted by: Severus Snape **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

It's rather clever...

**Posted by: Bellatrix Lestrange **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

We both like it.

**Posted by: Lucius Malfoy **

* * *

**Subject: RE: Name **

Then it stays! The Blog That Must Not Be Named it shall be!

**Posted by: Draco Malfoy **

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Weasel: **So how'd it go?

**Falcon: **Good!

**Owl: **Did he reveal anything that might be important?

**Falcon: **Other than the fact that he hated almost every name I picked out, no.

**Otter: **What are we talking about?

**Falcon: **Mione! What's up? Haven't seen you in a while...

**Otter: **Yeah...I got bored, so I logged on.

**Falcon: **Good to see you, though.

**Weasel: **Glad it went well, Draco. I'm logging off.

**Owl: **Me too. Give us the details about the blog later.

**Falcon: **Okay. See you later.

**Otter: **So...what were you talking about earlier?

**Falcon: **Phil had me create a blog.

**Otter: **He WHAT? I thought he hated Muggle technology.

**Falcon: **Me too, but Dad mentioned how I'm always on the computer, and you remember when Aunt Spazzy and YKW posted on the school blog two years ago?

**Otter: **Yeah...

**Falcon:** Well, she remembered how quick and easy it was, and then Snape remembered how I'd hacked into his school account when I was 11, and...well, one thing sort of led to another.

**Otter: **Ah.

**Falcon: **Yeah. I asked Arthur and Moody what they thought, and Moody said I should do it. Said it'd be a good way to get on Phil's good side without having to kill anyone, and it'd give us easier access to information.

**Otter: **Ah. Well, that makes sense.

**Falcon: **Yeah. He didn't like any of the names I picked out, though.

**Otter: **What names did you pick?

**Falcon: **Well, first it was the Shadowblog--because we're operating from the shadows--and he hated it. Then it was Bob, then the Fun Blog of Happiness...

**Otter: **The Fun Blog of Happiness? ROFL!!

**Falcon: **Yeah, that's what Dad said Mum did. Of course, Phil hated it.

**Otter: **Of course, because everyone knows his favorite phrase is "And no more happiness! Away with you!"

**Falcon: **Pretty much.

**Otter: **So what did it end up being?

**Falcon: **The Blog That Must Not Be Named.

**Otter: **LOL!

**Falcon: **Phil wasn't too enthusiastic, but everyone else liked it. Either that, or they were getting tired of having the name change constantly.

**Otter: **Yeah, that would get pretty annoying.

**Falcon: **You have no idea.

**Otter: **Yeah.

**Falcon: **So how are things with you?

**Otter: **Boring. Discouraging. Basically, kind of sucky.

**Falcon: **Oh...I'm sorry...

**Otter: **Yeah. We've had some interesting conversations, though...

**Falcon: **Like what?

**Otter: **Like...what would happen in Phil showed up in my neighborhood--it's all Muggle, so that would be weird...

**Falcon: **Um...I don't think I'd want to think about that...

**Otter: **You haven't met my neighbors.

**Falcon: **I thought they were Muggles?

**Otter: **They are. But there's this one guy who likes to buy weapons off eBay--his name is Hank, and if you mess with him...he's pretty scary. By the time the police and Aurors got there, YKW would just be a pile of blood, guts and robes.

**Falcon: **LOL! Maybe I should convince him to visit your neighborhood, then.

**Otter: **Maybe. Might make this war go faster.

**Falcon: **Yeah.

**Otter: **Nice talking with you, Drake.

**Falcon: **You too, Mione.

* * *


	144. Chapter 144

_All right...it doesn't look like the person who promised me "Malfoy Manor" is going to come through, so if anyone else would volunteer to do that chapter for me (and actually do it), I would probably love you forever and maybe start a fanclub in your honor...we're talking Bellatrix Lestrange-like adoration here, but without the whole creepy factor. Mostly because I'm not her and you're not Voldemort and neither of us are criminally insane. _

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**HorseLuver14: **So...I heard you started a blog for YKW.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...

**Confuzzled: **I thought he didn't like Muggle technology.

**YouCanCallMeE: **He found out how much better than owls the internet can be.

**HorseLuver14: **Ah...

**KiltedStranger: **Dad told me about all the names you picked out...

**YouCanCallMeE: **lol yeah. That was awesome.

**ADHDRocks: **What names?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Well, I started out with Shadowblog, since we're working from the shadows, and YKW hated that one, so he made me change it.

**PressingOn: **Shadowblog isn't that bad.

**YouCanCallMeE: **I didn't think so, either, but Aunt Spazzy gave me an e-Crucio, which was really annoying...

**Confuzzled: **I thought those things didn't work.

**YouCanCallMeE: **They don't, but they're still irritating. So I changed the name to Bob.

**HorseLuver14: **Bet THAT went over well.

**PressingOn: **LOL!!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah...so I changed it to The Fun Blog of Happiness.

**KiltedStranger: **Oh yeah...Dad wrote and told me about that one...I thought it was funny.

**PressingOn: **ROFL!!

**ADHDRocks:** LOLOLOLOL!!

**YouCanCallMeE: **YKW was NOT amused.

**PressingOn: **Has anyone ever told him that he has NO sense of humor?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I think someone did once...there's a song to describe them...what was it...oh yeah! "Dead Man Walkin'."

**Confuzzled: **So what did it end up being?

**YouCanCallMeE: **The Blog That Must Not Be Named.

**PressingOn: **Clever. I like it.

**YouCanCallMeE: **So did everyone else.

* * *

**The Blog That Must Not Be Named **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**CrucioQueen: **I must say, this blog is very clever.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **It is, isn't it?

**CrucioQueen: **Yes. By the way, why did you pick THAT username?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Why did you pick THAT one?

**CrucioQueen: **What?

**SlytherinSpellchecker:** If you can ask me that question, I can repeat it.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hey guys...what's going on?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **"CrucioQueen" and I were just debating the finer points of choosing usernames.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Hold on...let me try and guess who that is...wait--I've got it! Is it...Aunt Bella?

**CrucioQueen: **I'll have you know I spent a good deal of time picking out this name, Draco!

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Maybe you should have spent more...

**CrucioQueen: **What are you saying?

**ThroughFireAndFlames:** That you couldn't get more obvious with your identity if your username was your real name.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **He has a point.

**CrucioQueen: **Fine! I'm leaving!

**CrucioQueen: **(sign off)

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Thanks for getting rid of her.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Thanks for helping.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Hopefully, she'll pick out a better username.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Yeah...'cause that one is about as disturbing as the idea of Amycus wearing one of my mum's nightgowns.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Thanks for putting that image in my head, Draco...

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **lol sorry...

**

* * *

**

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

_**Falcon **_

The Death Eater blog is going well. I used completely different charms to protect it--just like Arthur suggested--and so far nobody has mentioned the idea of an Order blog. (Even if they did, they couldn't find it.) I just hope Phil doesn't get to internet-savvy.

Aw, who am I kidding, Myrtle? He had trouble logging on to the school blog two years ago! And logging on to THAT is so easy, Crabbe and Goyle can do it unassisted!

* * *


	145. Chapter 145

**The Blog That Must Not Be Named **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **'Ello.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Hello. What have you been up to?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **School. Homework. That kind of thing. You?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Headmaster-like things.

**DarkLordSupreme: **Hello, everyone!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I see you chose another username, Bellatrix.

**DarkLordSupreme: **Yes, I did. What do you think?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Um...

**DeathEaterDad: **Change it.

**DarkLordSupreme: **Why?

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **What are you having for dessert, Aunt Bella? Dark Lord Surprise?

**DarkLordSupreme: **What? What is everyone talking about?

**DeathEaterDad: **Your username sounds like a sandwich, Bella.

**DarkLordSupreme: **WHAT?! It does NOT!

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Does too.

**DarkLordSupreme: **No it doesn't!

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes it does.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **You're making me hungry.

**DarkLordSupreme: **(sign off)

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **She doesn't consult you and Mum before picking these usernames, does she, Dad?

**DeathEaterDad: **No.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **So I can tell.

**ThroughFireAndFlames: **Maybe she should start...

**DeathEaterDad: **Maybe.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Confuzzled: **WHAT was her username again?

**YouCanCallMeE: **DarkLordSupreme.

**Confuzzled: **Wow...

**ADHDRocks: **It sounds like a sandwich.

**YouCanCallMeE: **That's what Snape said. When I asked her what she was having for dessert, she got mad.

**Confuzzled: **Well, it made ME laugh...

**ADHDRocks: **I'm still laughing.

**Confuzzled: **Well, congratulations, Bellabitch! You made the DA laugh their heads off!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Uh, don't tell her that...

**PressingOn: **DARK LORD SUPREME! WHO ORDERED THE DARK LORD SUPREME?!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Uh, yeah...we've got a special on that today...comes with Dark Lord Surprise...

**PressingOn: **And a YKW bobblehead toy.

**YouCanCallMeE: **That is the CREEPIEST lunch I've ever heard of. Aunt Spazzy would like it, though...

**PressingOn: **Creepy.

**YouCanCallMeE: **It really is.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Weasel: **Her username was WHAT?

**Falcon: **DarkLordSupreme.

**Weasel: **Wow...

**Owl: **Never expected that of Bellatrix.

**Falcon: **Around YKW, she's surprisingly ditzy.

**Monkey: **Creepy.

**Falcon: **Yeah. It is.

**MamaBear: **Her name sounds like a sandwich.

**Chimpanzee: **A spicy chicken sandwich.

**Monkey: **On rye. No, sourdough! Hard sourdough!

**Chimpanzee: **OOH! OOH! With blue cheese dressing!

**Monkey: **And tomato and lettuce!

**Chimpanzee: **Man...now I'm hungry!

**Monkey: **We've GOT to make that sandwich!

**MamaBear: **Wonder how she'd feel knowing she made the Order laugh AND gave them an idea for a sandwich...

**Falcon: **Not well. But HOLY CRAP that sandwich sounds amazing!

_

* * *

_

All right, MamaBear is Mrs. Weasley. It just seemed to fit her...


	146. Chapter 146

_Some of you have asked when I'm going to get back to the canon stuff. That day is today. _

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Stag: **Hello...

**Falcon: **Hello Harry. What's up?

**Stag: **nm. Butt-numbing boredom, mostly.

**Falcon: **That's what Mione said.

**Stag: **Yeah. How's Phil?

**Falcon:** Pissed, as usual.

**Stag:** I expected as much.

**Falcon: **Then again, that guy has two moods: creepy and pissed.

**Stag: **Is creepy a mood?

**Falcon: **Yes.

**Stag: **I believe you.

**Falcon: **So...Easter break is soon.

**Stag: **Lucky for you.

**Falcon: **Sort of. A week with Aunt Spazzy isn't exactly my idea of a good time.

**Stag: **Sucks to be YOU, then.

**Falcon: **lol.

**Stag: **Have you heard of a radio show called Potterwatch?

**Falcon: **Yeah. Dolohov caught a few minutes of it the other day.

**Stag: **Bet THAT went over well.

**Falcon: **Yeah...nobody was hurt, though. They got away in time.

**Stag: **Good.

**Falcon: **I don't know the password, if that's what you're after. Everyone else thought it'd be safer if I didn't know how to access it.

**Stag: **That makes sense...thanks anyways.

**Our Little Corner of the Internet**

_**DA Members Only **_

**ADHDRocks: **TWO DAYS until Easter break!

**Confuzzled: **Yay!

**PressingOn: **Wotot!

**ADHDRocks: **Wotot?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I told her that 'woot' is an acronym that means "we own other team," but we decided that it needed a "the" in there, so it became "we own THE other team," or "wotot."

**PressingOn: **Yep.

**ADHDRocks: **Oh. lol.

**PressingOn: **Can't wait for Easter break!

**Clueless: **Oh, I KNOW! A week away from the Carrows is just what we need!

**KiltedStranger: **It should be nice.

**ADHDRocks: **NICE?! It'll be more than NICE! It'll be a week of pure, sweet freedom and victory! Trumpets shall blare and citizens will dance in the streets in celebration! 

**Confuzzled: **o.0 Sometimes I worry about you, Colin...

**PressingOn: **You should.

**ADHDRocks: **Be afraid...be very afraid...

* * *

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

Aaaahhhh...Easter break.

A week away from the Carrows is a week of heaven...and about twelve weeks too short.

Still, it'll be nice.

* * *

_As most of you are aware, the chapter "Malfoy Manor" takes place during Easter break, so I'll cover the aftermath in the next chapter. _

_Oh, and for anyone else who's interested, I've recently realized I'll need the chapter "Shell Cottage," too. Just a summary would be fine, though. _


	147. Chapter 147

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against The World **

**_Stag_**

Wondering why we've been at Bill and Fleur's house for the past two days? Well, it all started when I did something very, very stupid.

For the past few weeks, Ron has been looking for a radio show called _Potterwatch. _He said it's the only one that tells what's REALLY going on, but so far he hadn't been able to find it. Then, two nights ago, he found it. We heard Fred and George and Lee Jordan and Kingsley Shacklebolt...and it was really nice hearing thier voices again, and I guess I got possessed by the Demon of Stupidity because I said YKW's name.

Yep. I forgot all about the Taboo and said his name out loud. Within minutes Snatchers found us--but first Hermione used a Stinging Jinx on me so they wouldn't recognize me. One of the Snatchers was Fenrir Greyback--and I don't know if I've ever hated that guy more than I do now.

We gave them fake names, which kept us safe for a few minutes. Not that they protected us, of course, but they _did _keep the Snatchers from identifying us right away. They tied us up with some other people, one of them a goblin, one of them Dean Thomas.

Then, right after Greyback found Gryffindor's Sword, he and Scabior (one of the other Snatchers) noticed that Hermione looked a lot like the picture of her in the _Daily Prophet. _Then they found my glasses in the tent and realized who they had.

So they took us to Malfoy Manor.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon_**

I know I shouldn't blame Harry, even though it _is _mostly his fault. Partly mine, but mostly his for being stupid and saying YKW's name.

When Greyback and Scabior got to the manor, bringing five prisoners with them, I hoped it wasn't what I thought it was. Then, when Dad called me over to try and identify Harry, I knew we were all screwed. Still, I tried to persuade them that it wasn't Harry, Ron and Mione that they'd found.

Harry was hard to recognize. His hair reached his shoulders, and his face was huge, shiny and pink. He told me later that Mione put a Stinging Jinx on him, making her one of the smartest people I know. Ron and Hermione I recognized immediately.

"I--I can't be sure," I said, trying to buy them some time. _Any minute, _I thought. _Any minute, the Order'll show up. _I don't know why I thought they'd come; maybe just because they've gotten really good at showing up at the last possible second over the past twenty years or so.

"But look at him carefully, look!" Dad said. I've never seen him so excited, except for during those few months after YKW first returned. "Is it? Is it Harry Potter?"

"I...I don't _think _so..."

"Draco, if we're the ones who hand Harry Potter over to the Dark Lord, all will be forgiven!"

Forgiveness from YKW was the last thing I wanted.

"Now, we won't be forgetting who actually caught him, I hope, Mr. Malfoy?" Greyback said.

"Of course not, of course not!" Dad went closer to him, studying him like he always does before he buys something expensive. I tried to adopt the same look, staring at him, Ron and Mione and frowning while Dad asked Greyback how his face got so messed up.

"There's something here," he whispered. "Draco, come closer...this could be his scar, stretched tight...what do you think?"

I walked over. Sure enough, it was the scar--but I didn't say so. "Nah, I don't think it is."

"But look--"

"We had better be certain, Lucius," Mum said. "Completely certain it's Potter, before we summon the Dark Lord..." She studied the wand Greyback and Scabior said was Harry's. "They say this is his, but it doesn't match Ollivander's description...If we're mistaken, we'll call the Dark Lord here for nothing. Remember what happened to Rowle and Dolohov?"

"Yeah," I agreed, hoping Dad would remember and just shove them all in the cellar until I could come up with a way to get them out.

"What about the Mudblood, then?" Greyback turned the group around so the light fell on Hermione. Mum's eyes widened.

"Wait--yes--yes, she was in Madam Malkin's with Potter! I saw her picture in the _Prophet_! Look, Draco, isn't it that Granger girl?"

It was, but again, I didn't say so. I just looked at her for a minute. "No, that's not her."

"What do you _mean _it's not her?" Dad said. "Look, I'll go get a paper..."

"She had me under a love potion for six months, Dad," I called after him. "You don't think I'd recognize her?"

I don't think he heard me, because he came back a moment later with a copy of the _Prophet, _jabbing his finger at her picture_. _"See, see? It's her, isn't it?"

Just then, the door to the drawing room opened and Aunt Spazzy came through. "What is this? What's happened, Cissy?" She walked around them slowly, stopping in front of Hermione. "But surely this is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?"

"Yes! Yes, it is! And beside her, we think, Potter! Potter and his friends, caught at last!"

"Potter?" She stumbled back to get a better look at Harry. "If this is Potter, then the Dark Lord must be informed at once!"

"But--Aunt Bella, that's not them!" I protested.

"Of course it is!" Dad snapped, shoving the picture of Hermione in my face. "See? That's her, all right."

I know I should have done something. I knew it then, too, but was too scared to do anything. Aunt Spazzy yanked up her sleeve and almost touched her Mark, but Dad stopped her. They argued for a minute about who got to summon him, Greyback and Scabior said they wanted the gold, Aunt Spazzy basically called them morons, then stopped suddenly.

Later, Harry explained the significance of the Sword of Gryffindor which, in turn, explained why my crazy relatives all wanted it. But when I first saw it, all I knew was that it was really cool-looking. I didn't know why everyone was making such a big deal over it. I watched, stupidly, as they fought over it and Aunt Spazzy finally came out victorious.

"Draco, move this scum outside," Aunt Spazzy said, guesturing at the unconcious men. "If you haven't got the guts to finish them, leave them in the courtyard for me."

"Don't you dare speak to Draco like--"

"Be quiet! This situation is graver than you can possibly imagine, Cissy! We have a very serious problem!" Then, almost to herself, "If it is indeed Potter, he must not be harmed. The Dark Lord wishes to dispose of Potter himself, but if he finds out...I must know...I must know..." She turned back to Mum. "These prisoners must be placed in the cellar while I think what to do!"

"This is my house, Bella, you don't give orders in my –"

"Do it! You have no idea of the danger we are in!" Now, Aunt Spazzy is usually pretty scary, but right then, she looked scarier than I've ever seen her. A stream of fire shot from her wand, burning a hole in the carpet, and I guess that's what finally convinced Mum to give in.

"Take these prisoners down to the cellar, Greyback."

"Wait," Aunt Spazzy said. "All except … except for the Mudblood."

I stared at her. I couldn't help it. I knew what she was going to do to Hermione, and I couldn't let her. But I had to, if I wanted to keep from blowing my cover, so I just stood there. Like an idiot.

"No!" Ron shouted. "You can have me, keep me!" She punched his face.

"If she dies under questioning, I'll take you next." I didn't hear the rest of what she said--something about how Greyback should take them down to the cellar--because that catch was in her voice. Whenever she _wants _something to happen but is trying not to let it show, she gets this catch in her voice. That's how I knew she _wanted _Hermione to die under questioning. Still, I couldn't move. Angry as I was, I couldn't move.

She gave Greyback his wand, then cut Hermione free from the others and dragged her by the hair to the center of the room. She didn't start torturing Hermione until the cellar door slammed. I closed my eyes as the curse hit her, wishing I didn't have to hear her scream.

_You idiot! _that voice in my head said. _Do something! _

_I can't! _

_Yes you CAN! You're the only one who can do ANYTHING! _

_It'll all be over soon--_

_No, it won't! Hermione's going to die, you know that! _

I didn't have any good arguments to counter that one.

_She saved your life. She saved your life from YOU, and you're going to let her die. _

That was all the convincing I needed. The last thing I remember thinking clearly before the blur that followed was that if I Apparated to the center of the room, nobody would see me coming in time to stop me.

* * *

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

Even though the torture only lasted a few minutes, they were the worst of my life. I could hear Hermione screaming, and I couldn't do anything but scream her name until my throat hurt. I didn't stop until something bumped my leg and I discovered that that _something _was Luna.

"Ron? Is that you?"

Just then, we heard something I don't think any of us expected.

We heard a _crack, _then another.

We heard a _smack _and a scream, followed by a _thud _and several more _smacks, _accompanied by what sounded like Draco doing a cross between a war cry and a growl.

Then another _thud, _and his mum shreiking "DRACO ALEXANDER MALFOY! WHAT HAS GOTTEN _INTO _YOU?!"

Harry and I stared at each other, gaping.

"Did...did he just...?"

"I think he did!"

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

I knew _exactly _what had gotten into me, even though Mum didn't. So I can't blame her for asking.

Even so, I couldn't answer; she'd used the Full-Body Bind on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aunt Spazzy slowly pull herself to her knees and gingerly touch a hand to her face. I was glad to see that her face was bleeding. "He punched me," she said as if trying to believe it. "He _punched _me!"

Mum took the curse off, then stepped back as if she was scared I'd punch her too. "Draco, what is _wrong _with you today?"

"I--I don't know," I said quietly, even though I did. "Guess I just don't handle torture very well."

* * *

**Me Against The World **

**_Stag _**

We stood there for just a minute before we all realized we needed to do something. Draco may have just saved Hermione, but he'd also just blown his cover. We tried to work the knots free with no success--until Ron remembered something that saved us.

"My pocket!" he said. "In my pocket, there's a Deluminator, and it's full of light!"

We heard a click, and then several spheres of light flew into the cellar. I saw Luna, Dean, Ollivander and the goblin Griphook.

"Oh, that's much easier, thanks Ron," Luna said, then began hacking away at the ropes. After a minute or two, they fell away. I rubbed my wrists, Ron went over to the trapdoor and began trying to Apparate without a wand, Dean shivered, and Griphook collapsed.

"There's no way out, Ron," Luna said. "The cellar is completely escape-proof. I tried, at first. Mr. Ollivander has been here for a long time, he's tried everything."

In desperation, I searched the mokeskin pouch Hagrid gave me. I tried everything--the Snitch, my old wand--but nothing worked. The tiny piece of the mirror Sirius gave me fell to the floor, and I SWEAR I saw Dumbledore's eye staring back at me. I'd know those eyes anywhere.

"Help!" I yelled. "We're in the cellar of Malfoy Manor, help us!"

The eye blinked, then vanished. I heard shuffling upstairs, somebody yelled at someone else to restrain Hermione, and Bellabitch suggested she torture Draco next. Fortunately for us, his mum wouldn't allow it, and she bought us some time by arguing. Around that time was when Dobby showed up, shaking. I could tell that the fact that he was back at the Malfoy's terrified him.

"Harry Potter," he squeaked, "Dobby has come to rescue you."

I wasn't sure how much time we'd have before they started torturing Hermione again, so I cut to the basics. "You can Disapparate out of this cellar?"

He nodded.

"And you can take humans with you?"

He nodded again.

Ron told him to take Dean, Luna, Ollivander and Griphook to Bill and Fleur's and then come back. Just as he left, Hermione screamed again.

* * *

_Didn't think it'd be so long...but don't worry; I shall cover the rest in the next chapter. _


	148. Chapter 148

The World's Smartest Idiot

**_Terrier_**

Just after Hermione screamed again, Wormtail came down into the cellar. He just stared for a minute, and then Harry and I launched ourselves at him. I grabbed his wand and forced it up, Harry slapped a hand over his mouth...and then Wormtail started strangling Harry with his silver hand.

"What is it, Wormtail?" Lucius called.

"Nothing!" I called back, imitating Wormtail's voice.

"You're going to kill me?" Harry choked. "After I saved your life? You owe me, Wormtail!"

The hand loosened, and I stole his wand. Then his hand slid to his own throat, and he started to strangle himself. We tried to stop it--we tried to pry his fingers loose, I tried Relashio--but nothing worked. He dropped to the floor at the same moment Hermione screamed again, and Harry and I ran upstairs, through the passageway, and into the drawing room. I would have run in if Harry hadn't held me back.

"Wait," he whispered. "Wait for Dobby."

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

I would've punched Aunt Spazzy again. I would've pushed her down, kicked her, and banged her head against the floor 'till blood came out of her ears, but Dad held me back. He didn't say anything; nothing about how he was disappointed in me or how I'd just ruined everything he'd worked for. I guess he was still in shock.

"Where did you get the sword?" Aunt Spazzy demanded.

"It--it's a fake, a fake!" Hermione cried for the umpteenth time. "I swear it's a fake!"

I was screaming, too. I couldn't help it. Screaming and crying and trying to run towards her, but unable to move. She was just about to torture her again when Ron burst into the drawing room and shot her wand out of her hand. Harry caught it, Mum, Dad and Greyback all shot at him, and he rolled behind a sofa to avoid them. I finally got away and ran over to help Ron, but by then Aunt Spazzy was holding Hermione like a sheild, pressing her knife against her throat.

"STOP OR SHE DIES!" Then, in a whisper, "Drop your wands. Drop them, or we'll see just how filthy her blood is."

None of us listened.

"I said, drop them!" She pressed the knife closer to Hermione's throat, coaxing drops of blood onto the blade. Harry and Ron dropped their wands; I held onto mine.

"You too, Draco!"

I put my wand on the floor. Aunt Spazzy smiled.

"Now, to call the Dark Lord."

"NO! DON'T!" But of course, she didn't listen to me.

* * *

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

_We're all going to die. _

That was my only thought as Bellabitch yanked her sleeve up and pressed her Mark. We probably would have, too, if it weren't for Dobby coming in and breaking the chandelier. Bellabitch was right in its way, but she threw herself out from under it just in time, so it hit Hermione instead.

Bitch.

I ran over to try and free Hermione from the wreckage while Harry grabbed the three wands, Draco's among them. Draco lunged for his at the same moment Harry grabbed it out of his fingers. (He apologized later.) He then pointed all three wands at Greyback, yelled "Stupefy!" and blasted him backwards. Narcissa grabbed her wand and pointed it at the doorway.

"Dobby!" she screamed, and everyone froze. "You! You dropped the chandelier--"

"You must not hurt Harry Potter," he squeaked.

"Kill him, Cissy!" shrieked Bellatrix, but there was another loud crack, and Narcissa's wand too flew into the air and landed on the other side of the room. "'You dirty little monkey! How dare you take a witch's wand, how dare you defy your masters?"

"Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf, and Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends!"

"Ron! Catch--and GO!" Harry cried, tossing me a wand. I grabbed Hermione's hand and Disapparated.

* * *

**Me Against The World **

**_Stag _**

I had Dobby, and Ron had Hermione, but I knew we couldn't leave yet. Not without Draco.

"DRAKE!" I cried, and he ran towards me--but not before grabbing his mum's wand out of her hand.

Once he was close enough, I grabbed his arm and we Disapparated, just as Bellbitch's knife flew at us. When we got to Bill and Fleur's, we stared at each other.

"It didn't hit you, did it?" he asked.

"No...it didn't hit _you..._"

That's when I realized who it hit.

"Dobby?" I turned and saw Dobby standing a few feet from me. He swayed, and I saw the knife protruding from his chest. "NO! DOBBY!"

"I'll get help," Draco said, then ran off towards the cottage. I caught Dobby and laid him on the grass.

"No...Dobby, please...don't die..."

Our eyes met. "Harry...Potter..." He shuddered, then lay completely still just as Draco returned with Bill close behind.

* * *


	149. Chapter 149

**The Blog That Must Not Be Named **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**DeathEaterDad: **No sign of Draco?

**AntiKilt: **No. Nobody's found him yet.

**DeathEaterDad: **All right. Thanks. 

**AntiKilt: **I don't see why you're so desperate to find him...seeing as how he'll probably be killed once he's located.

**DeathEaterDad: **Don't remind me.

**Tricksy: **He turned against the Dark Lord, Lucius.

**DeathEaterDad: **Again, don't remind me.

**Tricksy: **Lucius, he made his choice. Now he'll have to abide by the consequences.

**DeathEaterDad: **Bella, he's my SON.

**Tricksy: **That doesn't change what he did.

**DeathEaterDad: **Just shut up! Leave me alone!

**DeathEaterDad: **(sign off)

**

* * *

**

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

I buried Dobby a few days ago.

I didn't use magic...he deserved a grave with some actual work put into it. And it's in a nice spot, with flowers and everything, facing the sea.

He deserved more, but that was the most I could give him.

**

* * *

**

The World's Smartest Idiot

_**Terrier **_

Hermione is still recovering. She still hasn't woke up yet.

But Bill and Fleur are saying that it looks like she'll be okay.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Have you ever done something where you KNOW it's the right thing to do at the time, but then afterwards, you start wondering if it was the dumbest thing you ever did? That's where I am right now.

I don't know what I'm going to do...I can't go back to Hogwarts, and going home is so out of the question that I don't even know why I bothered mentioning it. I can't hide here forever, either. Not only would it put Bill and Fleur in danger, but I'd go crazy just hiding, knowing YKW is still out there.

Going with Harry, Ron and Mione when they leave is the only option. Harry explained that the reason they needed the Sword was to destroy YKW's horcruxes. (That's why he was able to come back three years ago--his horcruxes kept him alive.)

I'll talk to them about it later.

* * *

**Me Against The World **

**_Stag _**

We had an...interesting conversation over breakfast this morning.

We were all just sitting there, eating our pancakes, when Draco asks around a bite of bacon when we're planning on leaving.

"Dunno," Ron said. "We'll have to wait for Mione to heal...and then we'll have to decide where we're going."

"Wherever it is, I'm going with you."

We all just looked at him. "You're in enough danger as it is," Bill said.

"And staying here will change that?"

"Well, no...but you'll be safer."

"For a while."

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Finally, Draco spoke again.

"I can see why you don't want me tagging along. But I know stuff you guys don't--stuff about my family, stuff about Phil." He paused. "If he kills me, he kills me. But I'd rather die fighting him than die hiding in a corner somewhere."

Ron and I looked at each other. "It'll be a while," I said, smiling wryly. "But I guess it'll be impossible to leave you behind."

* * *


	150. Chapter 150

_All right, for anyone who was wondering, AntiKilt is Theo's dad. _

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Clueless: **Wait...they were CAPTURED?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. Greyback and Scabior grabbed them 'cause Harry said YKW's name out loud.

**PressingOn: **Greyback...wait...isn't that the werewolf guy?

**YouCanCallMeE: **The creepy perv? Yeah, that's him.

**Clueless: **So he's not only a werewolf, but a creepy perv?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah. To the infinite degree.

**Confuzzled: **Anyway, what happened next?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Well, Dad thought it might be Potter and his friends, and even though it was, I kept trying to tell him it wasn't, but they figured it out anyway because Dad saw Hermione's picture in the DP, saw that it matched her face, put two and two together...

**Confuzzled: **So how did you get away?

**YouCanCallMeE: **I'm getting there. Anyway, Aunt Spazzy came in, locked Harry and Ron in the cellar, but kept Hermione upstairs to torture her...so I beat her up.

**Confuzzled: **Wait...you beat up Bellabitch?!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yep. Drew blood, too.

**PressingOn: **Wish I could've seen it...

**Clueless: **Round of applause for Draco!

**Confuzzled: **Man...you keep living out all my lifelong fantasies...

**YouCanCallMeE: **(bows)

**PressingOn: **So how did you get away?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Well, Dobby (our old house-elf that Harry tricked my dad into freeing when I was twelve) came in and broke the chandelier. It was supposed to land on Aunt Spazzy, but that bitch pushed Hermione under instead.

**Clueless: **Was she okay?!

**YouCanCallMeE: **She was injured pretty badly, but it looks like she'll be okay. Dobby, on the other hand...

**PressingOn: **What happened to Dobby?

**YouCanCallMeE: **Just as me and Harry were Apparating out, Aunt Spazzy threw her knife at us. Hit Dobby square in the chest.

**Clueless: **So he DIED?

**PressingOn: **Poor Dobby!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Yeah, it was really sad.

**Confuzzled: **I still can't believe you punched Bellabitch.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Weasel: **Wait wait wait...Draco PUNCHED her?!

**Terrier: **Actually, it was more than just a punch...from the sounds of it, he knocked her down, got on top of her, and started beating her to a pulp.

**Weasel: **Wow...

**Monkey: **That...is...AMAZING!

**Terrier: **It really was. I was impressed.

**MamaBear: **So what happened? How did you all make it out?

**Terrier: **Well, Dobby (the Malfoys' old house-elf) came and rescued us. He got Luna, Ollivander, Dean and Griphook out of the cellar, then came back and broke the chandelier. It was supposed to land on Bellatrix, but it landed on Hermione because Bellatrix sort of pushed her under it.

**MamaBear: **Why, that little...

**Monkey: **Bitch.

**MamaBear: **Fred! Don't use language like that!

**Monkey: **Well, she IS!

**MamaBear: **Still, it's rude!

**Weasel: **Anyway, what happened next, Ron?

**Terrier: **Well, we managed to steal some wands and Apparate out--me with Hermione and Harry with Draco and Dobby.

**MamaBear: **Thank God you all made it out alive!

**Terrier: **Yeah...Dobby didn't, though.

**MamaBear: **Why? What happened to Dobby?

**Terrier: **Bellatrix threw her knife just as they were Apparating and hit him square in the chest.

**MamaBear: **Oh, that poor thing!

**Weasel: **At least you're all okay--Hermione's okay, right?

**Terrier: **Yeah. She was hurt pretty badly, but it looks like she'll be fine.

**Weasel: **Good. Thank God...

**Monkey:** I can't believe Draco beat up Bellatrix!

* * *

_Sorry the chapter is so short. My plot bunny is sort of tired because I've been working all weekend. _

_Just a quick note: I won't be able to update at all next week because I'll be at camp. _


	151. Chapter 151

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Hermione woke up today--this morning--but Bill and Fleur said she still needed some rest. I snuck upstairs anyway.

I smiled when I walked in so she wouldn't see what I was thinking: _I hope Aunt Spazzy gets gored to death with a rusty spoon. _Because even though she was awake, she looked awful (pale and sickly awful, not ugly awful).

"Hey," I said.

"Hey." I guess Fleur or Bill or someone else had helped her sit up because she was sitting up and drinking tea when I walked in.

I didn't sit. "Can't stay very long..."

"I figured." She smiled a little. "Fleur thinks too many visitors will kill me or something."

"Yeah. Well, she doesn't know I'm here." The silence was awkward, so I broke it in probably the dumbest way possible. "You know, in Divination, Trelawney taught us how to tell the future with tea leaves."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. Harry saw a dog in his once, and Trelawney was convinced he was going to die." She snorted derisively. "Said it was the Grim."

"I don't think you're going to die."

"Me neither. Trelawney, however, would think differently."

More awkward silence. She slowly finished her tea. "Well. Let's see when I'm going to die, shall we?" The smile told me it was all in good fun, so I leaned over her as she studied the leaves. "I don't see anything, do you?"

I looked closer. Sure enough, I saw something and shook my head to make sure it wasn't just my imagination. There he was, long hair, guitar and all. I laughed.

"It's Kurt Cobain!"

"Who?"

"Kurt Cobain! Lead singer for Nirvana! See?" I pointed, and she laughed a little.

We spent the rest of the short visit talking about music, so it was considerably less awkward. Frankly, I'm just glad she's awake.

* * *

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

Hermione woke up this morning, but Bill and Fleur said no visitors because she needed the rest.

As if _that _was going to stop me.

I snuck upstairs after dinner, ran into her room, and closed the door as quietly as I could. I smiled, even though she looked awful--pale and sickly, not ugly, of course. It took every ounce of self-control not to tell her that I hoped Bellatrix chokes to death on her own vomit or something.

"Hey Ron," she said, smiling weakly.

"Hey." I glanced at the door. "Can't stay very long...but I had to see you."

"That's so sweet!"

The next minute or so was awkward silence. There was so much I wanted to say, but wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it or not because most of it had to do with what happened at Malfoy Manor and I didn't think she wanted to be reminded of it. I finally settled for "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks. Me too," she added with a laugh.

The rest of the visit was a lot less awkward, thank God. We talked about random stuff--I don't remember all the specifics. I'm just glad she's awake.

* * *

_Ugh...sorry about the short chapter, guys. I've been running on about four hours of sleep a night for the past week, so my plot bunny is a little tired, too. _


	152. Chapter 152

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe!**

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

I guess I was Hermione's first "legal" visitor today, because as soon as I entered her room, she asked me if I'd snuck in to see her too.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Ron and Drake both snuck in to see me a few days ago."

"Oh," I said, and sat down next to her. "That sounds like something they'd do...and it explains why they both looked so guilty."

She laughed. "So what else is going on?"

I shrugged. "Not much. Just...y'know...resting and stuff. Recovering, I guess."

Hermione paused. "Nobody's mad at you, Harry. For saying Phil's name, I mean."

Even though I knew she was right--even though nobody's acted like they were mad at me--I found that hard to believe. So I just shrugged and changed the subject.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**KiltedStranger: **Nev? I know of another Slytherin who wants to join.

**Confuzzled: **Who?

**KiltedStranger: **My girlfriend, Millicent.

**PressingOn: **Millicent? She's nice.

**Confuzzled: **Why does she want to join?

**KiltedStranger: **Same reason I did--she heard about Draco turning traitor and wanted to join in the fight.

**Confuzzled: **All right. We'll set up a test, and if she passes, she can join. Sound good?

**KiltedStranger: **Sounds good.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

Millie's DA test was today. She passed.

The test was simple: Pull a prank on the Carrows, have me "accidentally" give her inside knowledge of it, and see if she turns us in.

She didn't.

We were both really excited about it--she let out one of those excited girl-screams when I told her and I couldn't stop smiling. Nev's just happy we have another ally in Slytherin.

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled_**

I heard a song by Green Day today--"American Idiot." And even though I'm still not sure what it's about, it changed my life.

Or at least, it'll change the Carrows' lives soon.

Song parodies, here we come!

* * *


	153. Chapter 153

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**Confuzzled: **All right...so we're going to do a parody of "American Idiot" for our next prank.

**PressingOn: **I don't think I've heard that song...

**YouCanCallMeE: **I have no idea what that song is about.

**Confuzzled: **Me neither, but we're going to change it, remember? To something like "Don't wanna be a Carrow-like idiot/ Two people controlled by the Dark Lord..."

**YouCanCallMeE: **ROFL! And then we could have a verse about each of them--Amycus and Alecto.

**ADHDRocks: **OH! During that refrain-y part of the verse about Amycus, we could say something like "He's the meanest wizard in Britain..." hmmm...

**Clueless: **"He's the meanest wizard in Britain /Tell you the truth, I think he killed my kitten!"

**Confuzzled: **LOL!! That's awesome, Hannah!

**Clueless: **(bows)

**YouCanCallMeE: **Man...I wish I could be there to see it...

**KiltedStranger: **Wait...if it's a parody, how are we going to make a CC? I mean, WE can't sing it...

**MiseryBusiness: **Get Peeves to do it.

**FaithAndFear: **One problem, Millicent: Peeves can't sing.

**ADHDRocks: **Those suits of armor can.

**FaithAndFear: **Great idea, Colin! We can get Peeves to teach the suits of armor the song!

**Confuzzled: **Um, guys? We should probably WRITE the song first...

* * *

**Not One of Them Involving You **

**_Misery Business _**

I get to help out with my first DA prank today...or this week...whenever I get a chance, really.

What I've got to do is simple: Find McGonagall, find Peeves, give him the lyrics to our song, and teach him the tune so he can teach the suits of armor how to sing it.

I am so stoked.

* * *

**The Hogwarts Blog **

**Subject: Write Out Your Wills **

Seriously. Whoever masterminded THIS prank--and I have a good idea who--is gonna DIE. Slowly and painfully.

But before I finish you off, MAKE THEM STOP!!

**Posted by: Amycus Carrow **

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**ADHDRocks: **That was DEFINITELY the best prank we've ever pulled!

**Confuzzled: **By far!

**PressingOn: **I can't stop laughing!

**YouCanCallMeE: **Harry, Ron, Hermione and Luna are all behind me, and none of us were there, so...tell us what happened!

**Confuzzled:** Luna's there? Hi Luna! 

**YouCanCallMeE: **She says hi. Now tell us about the prank!

**MiseryBusiness: **Well, they had me and McGonagall talk to Peeves about teaching the suits of armor the song--McGonagall because Peeves trusts her and me because I know the tune.

**FaithAndFear: **Needless to say, Peeves was ecstatic about pulling yet another prank.

**MiseryBusiness: **Oh yeah. We had some of the ghosts stand guard while Peeves taught the suits the song, so the ghosts ended up learning it too.

**YouCanCallMeE: **So the ghosts ended up singing it too?

**ADHDRocks: **Oh yeah! Nearly Headless Nick actually has a pretty decent voice.

**KiltedStranger: **So does the Baron.

**YouCanCallMeE: **The Baron helped, too? You serious?

**KiltedStranger: **Yeah. As it turns out, he doesn't like the Carrows any more than we do--and he has a good voice.

**PressingOn: **Actually, ALL of the House ghosts joined in.

**ADHDRocks: **It was like a ghostly ghost choir following them around all day.

**Confuzzled: **Several days, actually. It was awesome.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Wish I could've seen it...

**Confuzzled: **Yeah...only problem is that now they're out for blood.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Oooohhhh...maybe you should go into hiding...actually, Mione is DEMANDING you do, and I'm agreeing with her.

**PressingOn: **Not a bad idea...we should do it.

**ADHDRocks: **Yeah...dying isn't exactly my idea of a good time.

**YouCanCallMeE: **BTW, Theo, did you hear anything about my parents? About what happened to them?

**KiltedStranger: **Dad said Phil put them under house arrest.

**YouCanCallMeE: **OK. That's actually good news...thanks.

**YouCanCallMeE: **BTW, could you get us a copy of the lyrics?

**Confuzzled: **np. We'll get those to you ASAP.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Thanks...you guys rock.

**ADHDRocks: **We do, don't we?

* * *

_In case you didn't catch it, MiseryBusiness is Millicent Bullstrode. Her username and the title of her blog are taken from the Paramore song "Misery Business," which is, in short, about a girl who always backstabs everyone, steals their crushes, and basically makes life miserable for everyone. A line toward the end says "I watched his wildest dreams come true/ Not one of them involving you/ Just watch my wildest dreams come true/ Not one of them involving you." _


	154. Chapter 154

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

We went into hiding today.

Our strategy was simple: I'd go upstairs to the ROR first thing in the morning while Theo and Millie stood guard, get things ready, then wait for the others to come. (Since I've been speaking out and acting up the most, we figured the Carrows would probably go after me first, then Muggleborns like Teri and Colin.)

The ROR turned out to be the perfect place to hide, since you can make it so certain people can't enter. (Draco found this out last year. Who would've thought his little project for YKW would end up helping us?) Not only that, but it can give you pretty much anything you want--beds, books, a bathroom...whatever.

I'm just glad to be away from the Carrows.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

I don't know how it's possible, but Pansy has gotten even meaner lately. All she ever talks about is how cowardly the other DA members were for vanishing, and how stupid Draco was for going against YKW. When she gets into that vein, she can continue for hours: what was he thinking, all that for a Mudblood, what did I ever see in him, was he just leading me on, you can't understand how much I hate him...and on and on.

I want to strangle her.

* * *

**Not One of Them Involving You**

**_Misery Business _**

I went into hiding today. Why, you ask? You can thank my big, fat mouth.

Pansy was in one of her "I hate Draco" moods today, which meant she spent the better part of our fourth break whining about how he was such a jerk. You'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now, but no...I had to speak up.

"He wasn't a jerk, Pansy, and you know it."

"Well, if he hadn't gotten all weird last year..."

"He was _depressed_!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Not just sad, Pansy, but depressed as in _suicidal. _And according to him, your dumping him just made it worse."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're just saying that because you were jealous."

"I wasn't jealous--I'm trying to defend his reputation!"

"Why?" she laughed. "He's a coward! He betrayed the Dark Lord--how cowardly can you get?"

That's when I got possessed by the Demon of Stupidity--or maybe Big Mouthedness. "He's braver than all the rest of them put together--Dark Lord included!" I knew from the gasps that followed that I'd just crossed the line and blew my cover, so I thought I might as well continue. I took a deep breath. "It takes more courage to betray someone as powerful as the Dark Lord than it does to follow him blindly."

After that, I ran off into Myrtle's bathroom, messaged the others, and went into the ROR with them. None of them were very upset about what I'd said. At least a dozen people said it was about time somebody defended Draco's reputation.

I guess it IS nice to be away from the Carrows.

* * *


	155. Chapter 155

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**YouCanCallMeE: **Hey Theo. What's up?

**KiltedStranger: **nm. I miss Millie.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Why?

**KiltedStranger: **She went into hiding yesterday.

**YouCanCallMeE: **...why?

**KiltedStranger: **Well, it's kind of a long story. See, Pansy has been really bad lately, badmouthing you and whining about what a jerk you were.

**YouCanCallMeE: **I was never mean to her!

**KiltedStranger: **Yeah, that's what makes it so annoying. Well, Millie jumped to your defense yesterday and ended up blowing her cover by telling Pansy--and everyone else--that you were braver than YKW and all the other DEs combined.

**YouCanCallMeE: **She said that?

**KiltedStranger: **Yep.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Wow...I'd say remind me to thank her next time she's online, but that doesn't seem adequate.

**KiltedStranger: **Yeah, so that's why she's in hiding.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Wow.

**KiltedStranger: **On the upside, I think it's made some of the others start to question what we've always been told--about YKW and all that jazz.

**YouCanCallMeE: **That's great! Think any of them will actually turn?

**KiltedStranger: **I don't know. You and I turned.

**YouCanCallMeE: **Good point.

* * *

**The Blog That Must Not Be Named **

**_Death Eaters Only _**

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Did you hear about Millicent Bullstrode?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **I thought everyone had.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Yeah...never thought that of her. Then again, I never thought Draco Malfoy would turn, either...

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **They're both unfortunate exceptions to the rule.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **I'm not so sure.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **What do you mean?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **You know what I mean. If those two could turn, ANYONE in Slytherin could turn.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Not all of them WOULD turn.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Still...shouldn't we make sure?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **What do you suggest?

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Interrogations. Nothing too drastic--just take in some suspects, give em some Veritaserum, and ask a few questions.

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Hmmm...I'd say it's long overdue.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **So we can do it?

**SlytherinSpellchecker: **Yes. But make Veritaserum your ONLY method of getting the truth.

**IEatDeath4Breakfast: **Fine.

* * *

**PrettyPansy: **i cant believe it! 1st draco, then millicent, then theo...

**ImCrabbe: **ya.

**ImGoyle: **weerd.

**PrettyPansy: **its MORE than weird--it's horrible! how many cowards r there?

**ChampionBelcher: **Millie isn't a coward.

**PrettyPansy: **then how come she vanished?

**ChampionBelcher: **idk.

**PrettyPansy: **and theo...vanishing just before the questioning starts? suspicious much?

**ChampionBelcher: **The Carrows are looking for him.

**PrettyPansy:** i kno.

**ChampionBelcher: **So stop badmouthing them.

**PrettyPansy: **u dont think theyre RITE, do u?

**ChampionBelcher**: No, of course not. Just stop badmouthing my sister.

* * *

_A few things..._

_I've gotten a few people reminding me that since Asteria's sister Daphne was in Slytherin (according to Rowling), Teri must be at least half-blood. Well, I changed their blood status for the sake of the story--just like I changed some other plot points. _

_Second, ChampionBelcher is Matthew Bullstrode. I know that, according to Rowling, he probably didn't exist, but given Millicent's personality and the way she behaves around guys, it seemed natural that she have a younger brother (he's 16 in this story). _


	156. Chapter 156

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

We've started planning our break-in into the Lestrange vault. Griphook is going to help us, but there's one problem:

He wants the Sword as payment.

It makes NO sense! I mean, it SORT of makes sense, when Hermione puts it a certain way, but he doesn't even NEED the Sword! WE do!

Jerk.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

So it's all set. We're going to break into Aunt Spazzy's vault in a few days.

The plan is fairly simple: Polyjuice Hermione so she looks like Aunt Spazzy (Ron and I both think it's the height of...of...of _wrong-ness, _but nobody could come up with a better plan), give Ron a beard and teach him a few German cuss words so people will believe he's her assisstant-type-person who doesn't speak English very well, hide me, Harry and Griphook under the Invisibility Cloak, then break into the vault and steal the horcrux.

We're prepared. Mione has one of Aunt Spazzy's hairs, and I borrowed a pair of gloves from Bill in case the horcrux is protected with that charm that makes something really really hot to the touch and make a bunch of worthless copies, and I've been teaching Ron all the German cuss words I picked up from Rowle. (Guess Mum was wrong--learning all those words WILL help me get ahead in life. Actually, they'll help me STAY alive, but whatever.)

Guess I'm ready as I'll ever be.

* * *

_Terribly sorry about the short chapter. I just wanted to cover the final battle in separate chapters, since there's a time jump involved. _

_Like you guys, I can't believe I've finally reached the Battle of Hogwarts. It seems like just yesterday I was typing up the first chapter. But it may not all be over; if enough of you want it, I'll probably write a sequel about what happens after the war. So tell me what you think! If you want a sequel, say so; if you're sick of this fic, tell me! I will listen. _


	157. Chapter 157

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

The war is over. It ended a week ago.

It's hard to believe it's over, but it's even harder to believe that it's been a week. It seems like much longer.

I guess I should tell you how it happened. Well, it all started when Ron, Mione, Draco, Griphook and I got ready to break into the Lestrange vault. Ron and Mione (disguised as Bellabitch and her assistant) would get us in, while Draco, Griphook and I would hide under the Invisibility Cloak and sneak in behind them.

Mione got ready first. She told me later that something so simple--drinking Polyjuice Potion and donning some clothes in Bella's size--had never been so hard, partly because she apparently tasted awful.

When she came out, I couldn't help hating her. Not Mione, but who she was disguised as. Instinct, I guess. Ron just stared with this look of revulsion on his face, while Draco shook his head in disbelief.

"This is _so _wrong," he said. Mione snorted.

"You're telling me! She tasted _awful_!"

Mione got Ron's disguise ready--longish hair and a beard, along with different clothes--while he and Draco went over the German cuss words he'd learned. Once me, Draco and Griphook were under the Cloak, we Apparated to Diagon Alley.

Gringotts was a lot more secure than I remembered, but then again, that was war. Everything is more secure during a war. We eventually got in--but they didn't completely seem to buy Hermione's excuse that YKW had let her out of the Manor to get something for him, so Draco used the Imperious Curse on them and got us the key.

Everything seemed to be going fine until we came across a waterfall that Griphook called the Theif's Downfall--enchanted water that washed away both Ron and Mione's disguises before we got to the vault. So when we finally got there, we knew we'd have to work fast. So Draco handed me the gloves, I put them on, grabbed the cup, and got ready to bolt.

The rest of the escape happened sort of fast, but I remember Griphook stealing the Sword, the four of us getting onto the dragon that guarded the vault, flying out of there, and letting the dragon go once we were a safe distance away. Once we got off, we just fell onto the ground and laughed until our sides hurt. I still don't know why; I guess we just needed to laugh.

We all ducked under the Cloak--our feet showed but we were out in the middle of nowhere so it didn't matter much--and Apparated into Hogsmeade.

* * *

**Let Love In**

**_Otter _**

The instant we stepped into Hogsmeade, a Caterwauling Charm went off. We all knew what a horrible mistake it had been when we felt the dementors, and even though it would expose us, Harry had no choice but to cast a Patronus. Fortunately, someone called us into the Hog's Head before we could be caught, and told the Death Eaters who demanded to know whose Patronus it was that it was his--basically calling them idiots for not being able to tell the difference between a stag and a goat (since his Patronus is a goat).

We learned that he was Aberforth Dumbledore, Dumbledore's brother and the one who sent Dobby to rescue us at Malfoy Manor. He was nice--a little bitter, perhaps--but that's understandable, given his story.

His and Dumbledore's sister, Ariana, wasn't a Squib at all. She was just...well, insane seems to be the wrong word to use to describe her, but it's the best I have. She could use magic, but didn't have control over it, so her parents kept her locked away because they didn't want to have her locked up in St. Mungo's for the rest of her life. Anyway, Dumbledore was infatuated with the dark wizard Grindelwald, but when the two of them got into a fight, it caused Ariana's death.

Aberforth tried to convince us to run away and save ourselves, but we said no. So he showed us a passageway into Hogwarts through Ariana's portrait, and who else but Neville should come bursting through it. He looked awful--he had a black eye and several cuts on his face and arms that he explained came from the Carrows. None of us were surprised.

Everyone was happy to see us--but they were most excited over seeing Harry. Although our plan had been to get into the castle, get the horcrux, and get out, our arrival inspired them to fight. So after we finished telling them everything that had happened to us in the past few hours, Ron and I asked them for help, then went to the Chamber of Secrets while Harry, Draco and Luna went to Ravenclaw Tower to try and find the horcrux.

I've never heard Ron speak Parseltongue before, and it's pretty creepy. He said he just copied what Harry said to open the locket horcrux, and it got us into the Chamber, so I guess I'll have to forgive him for creeping me out.

Once in the Chamber, we got two basilisk fangs from the dead basilisk and waited for something to happen.

* * *

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Everyone was glad to see us when we got into Hogwarts. Teri sort of surprised me--she gave me a hug as soon as I walked into the Room of Requirement.

"I've missed you," she said.

"I've missed you, too." I was a little surprised to find that I had. Throughout the past few weeks, I guess I hadn't thought about Teri much, but it wasn't until I saw her again that I realized how much I'd missed her.

Harry thought the horcrux might be related to Ravenclaw, so he and Luna went to Ravenclaw Tower. I figured he'd appreciate some extra help, so I tagged along. He used something called the Marauder's Map (it belonged to his dad and his friends and shows you where everyone in Hogwarts is at any given time) to find the Tower and avoid the Carrows. Instead of a password, the knocker on the door asks you a question, and Luna managed to answer it on the first try.

Once inside, we saw a carving of the lost Diadem of Ravenclaw on a statue. Harry read the inscription aloud: "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."

"Unfortunately for you, you don't have any." We all turned around and there stood Alecto Carrow. Before any of us could do anything, she pulled up her sleeve and pressed her Mark.

* * *


	158. Chapter 158

_Admittedly, I've changed some of the details. Please don't sue me or I'll sic Voldemort on you and HIS lawyers will crush you like...like...like something heavy landing on you, like Michael Moore. _

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

**_DA Members Only _**

**I'm Loopy **

**_Loony _**

None of us were fast enough to stop Alecto from pressing her Mark, but I managed to Stun her. The noise woke everyone in Ravenclaw. McGonagall and Amycus arrived at the door, and me, Harry and Draco slipped under the Invisibility Cloak just before they started arguing over who to blame. But when Amycus spat in her face, Harry jumped out, used the Cruciatus Curse on Amycus (I didn't know he could do that, either, but I guess he can) and told McGonagall about how he'd been searching the school. She agreed to put up defenses.

The four of us ran out of the Tower, but we ran into Snape on the way. McGonagall attacked him--I've never seen magic that fast before--but Flitwick, Sprout and Slughorn came and helped drive him away. The teachers began to set up defenses, and Slughorn was about to leave, but Draco and McGonagall stopped him.

"Please, stay and fight," McGonagall said. "For Slytherin."

He still didn't look convinced. Finally, after a brief pause, Draco spoke.

"I'm staying. I'm going to fight."

Slughorn stood there for a minute, back to us, then turned. He was smiling--sort of sadly, but smiling. "All right. I'll stay."

Draco grinned. "Great!"

Then Harry figured we'd better go tell the others, so we headed back to the ROR. More students kept arriving, so many that the ROR had to keep expanding. When Harry told them YKW was on his way and that they were going to fight, they cheered. As the room emptied--everyone was leaving for the Great Hall--the Weasleys stayed behind. Mrs. Weasley was determined not to let Ginny fight, so they finally agreed to let her stay in the ROR and keep watch. Percy showed up and apologized for being such a prat.

"We forgive you," they all said, and Harry, Draco and I headed down to the Great Hall.

* * *

**When Faith and Fear Collide **

**_Faith and Fear _**

The entire school crowded into the Great Hall to hear the evacuation orders. Perhaps it was force of habit, but everyone sat at their House tables, as if we were preparing for a feast and not a battle. I was just about done telling everyone where to go when YKW's voice sounded throughout the Hall, demanding Harry Potter by midnight. After it left, silence reigned--until Pansy Parkinson spoke.

"But he's _there_! Potter's _there_! Somebody grab him!" she cried, pointing. As if on cue, tables emptied to crowd around Harry--Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were completely deserted, and even a few Slytherins joined them, wands out, glaring at Pansy. I couldn't speak for a moment.

"Thank you, Miss Parkinson," I finally said. "You will leave the Hall first with Mr. Filch. If the rest of your House could follow." Benches were pushed back, and everyone in Slytherin except Theodore and Millicent stood. They would have left, too, if it weren't for Draco coming over and standing at one end of their table.

"Before you guys leave, can I say something?"

Pansy crossed her arms and glared at him. "Say it fast, Draco."

He glared back, then drew a deep breath and yanked up his left sleeve. "See this?" he said, pointing at the Mark. "You all know what this is. This represents the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord is why I spent most of last year contemplating suicide."

Side conversations halted. The Great Hall was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, and his speech, meant for the Slytherins, was now heard by all of Hogwarts. If he noticed the silence, he didn't care.

"Why would I want to kill myself, you ask? Why, if the Dark Lord only wants what's best for us? For one simple reason: He doesn't." He pulled his sleeve down and continued, pacing. "We've always heard how great he is, how he'll make everything right for Slytherin, for purebloods. But the truth is, he won't. He doesn't care about any of us. All he cares about is power, control, and killing anyone who stands in his way."

He paused for a moment. "You want to know who kept me from going through with it--the only reason I'm alive right now? Hermione Granger. Yes, a _Muggleborn _kept me from killing myself. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I'd gone through with it, Hermione would have cried. She would have been upset and wondered why I did it. The Dark Lord? He wouldn't have cared. Sure, he would've been frustrated that one of his servants had committed suicide, but he honestly wouldn't have cared that I was so miserable I wanted to die.

"So go ahead if you want to. I know where Pansy is planning on taking you. Follow her to the Dark Lord. But trust me, you'd be better off... covering yourself in bacon grease and finding a hungry dragon. It'd be a quicker and less agonizing way of committing suicide."

For a long moment, nobody spoke, not even me. All words seemed to have abandoned me. Finally, Matthew Bullstrode spoke up.

"He's right, you know. I mean, if Snape turned on us--made us go through all those humiliating interrogations--what'll the Dark Lord do?"

After another pause, Pansy spoke up. "Oh, come _on_! He's just a coward who's trying to save his own skin!"

"It takes more courage to turn against someone as powerful as the Dark Lord than it does to follow him blindly," one of the Slytherin girls said. Others agreed, and Pansy backed away from the table abruptly.

"Fine! I'm leaving!" A handful of Slytherins followed her, Crabbe and Goyle among them; the rest stayed where they were. Moments passed, and one of the younger Slytherins spoke up.

"Can we leave now? Just to get out of the castle."

"Of course. Follow Mr. Filch, and he'll lead you to the evacuation point." Most of the younger Slytherins left; the rest stayed in their seats. More Ravenclaws followed, many Hufflepuffs stayed, and half of Gryffindor stayed.

Anyone who knows the early history of Hogwarts and was there that night can see why Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin became friends in the first place. If the trouble I had getting the younger Gryffindors and Slytherins to leave is any indication of what the two founders were like, then Gryffindor and Slytherin were both incredibly, wonderfully stubborn.

* * *


	159. Chapter 159

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

I was honestly surprised that so many people wanted to stay and fight--more surprised that so many Slytherins wanted to stay and fight. Actually, I was surprised that they wanted to stay and fight at _all, _but the fact that half of them stayed in their seats was shocking.

I was so surprised that McGonagall had to remind me that I was supposed to be looking for something while Kingsley laid out the battle plan for the school. Draco and I ran out of the Hall, and it wasn't until we were halfway down one of the corridors that he asked the question I was already asking myself:

"Uh, you do know what you're doing, right?"

"Not really," I said, ducking around a corner. Just then, it hit me to ask Nick about the Ravenclaw ghost, hoping she could tell me something about the diadem. So I found her, and she told me her story--not only about the diadem, but why she died and why the Bloody Baron is bloody. Still, it wasn't until we reached the staff room and saw the broken gargoyles that it hit me where the horcrux was.

"The Room of Requirement!" I said, laughing a little. "That's where it is!"

"You're sure?"

"I walked in last year and saw a tiara, and Phil was always obsessed with Hogwarts history--"

"And what Helena told us about Phil and the diadem--"

"It all makes sense! Come on!"

We ran upstairs and found Ron and Hermione, who had been hiding out in the COS, where they got the basilisk fangs and destroyed the cup horcrux.

"How'd you get in?" I asked.

"I just did what you did to open the locket." He then demonstrated the Parseltongue he'd learned from me--until I grabbed his wrist.

"Do me a favor...don't ever do that again."

"Okay."

With that, we hurried upstairs into the ROR. People were still there, so we had to get them to leave before we could get the room to change. When it did, we faced another challenge: Eleven centuries of junk to sift through...and Amycus Carrow. (He showed up just after we did.)

"You guys look for the...thingy," Draco whispered. "I'll take care of him."

"Are you--" Hermione began, but was cut off by Draco...well, taking care of it.

"Hey! Carrow-Like Idiot!"

That got his attention. "_You_!"

Grinning, Draco began to sing.

_Don't wanna be a Carrow-like idiot  
Two people controlled by the Dark Lord  
Do I look like some incompetent fatso?  
They're pretty stupid, to be sure..._

His diversion worked. Amycus forgot all about why he was supposed to be in the ROR and concentrated on attacking Draco. Draco just ran around, ducking behind ancient junk and singing.

_They both eat as much as they're able  
So big they can't fit at the table  
But when have they ever cared at a-all?  
Think they're too good for a diet  
When they eat, they're not very quiet  
You can't keep anything down at all! __  
_

We had the tiara before he finished the song--which was a shame. But Hermione Stunned him, we dragged him out of the ROR, and destroyed the horcrux with the basilisk fangs.

"Five down, one to go," I said. I had no idea how wrong I was.

* * *

**Pulling Pranks is What I Like to Do **

**_Monkey_**

Having Percy on our side was great. Sure, he abandoned our family for fame and fortune after he graduated, but at least he came back. And who knew he had a sense of humor? For example, when we were duelling Thicknesse, he shouted "Guess what, Minister? I'm retiring!"

I never would have thought a joke would almost kill me--well, blind me to what _would've _killed me. Not to say I don't like them anymore. Jokes are still the force that holds the universe together, but I guess I'll just have to learn to pay more attention.

Here's what happened: We were duelling, Percy made the first (and only) joke I think he ever made, and I--of course--laughed because it was funny. But just then, the wall behind us blew up, everyone shouted my name...and I heard a voice in my head telling me to do a backflip. I landed on my feet, arms outstretched, with everyone glancing from me to Draco. It was then that I realized what he'd done.

"When...when'd you guys get here?" I asked.

"Just a minute ago," Draco said. "Uh, sorry about the whole Imperiousing thing..."

"_Sorry_?" He shrugged. "You just saved my life!"

He gave a sort of sheepish half-grin. "Guess I did."

I'll never think of the Imperious Curse the same way again.

* * *

_What? I couldn't just let Fred DIE! I'm not heartless like Rowling is! Well, okay, she's not heartless, but she was still mean to kill Fred. _


	160. Chapter 160

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The World's Smartest Idiot **

**_Terrier _**

After Draco saved Fred, me, Harry and Hermione decided to keep going after Nagini.

"Um, I'll just stay here," Draco said. We all agreed--me and Harry because we thought he wanted to help with the battle going on inside the castle (which was true), Hermione because she guessed the real reason:

He was scared of Nagini.

I can't say I blame him...after what we saw in the Shreiking Shack, I don't think I'll be able to look at a snake the same way again. See, Harry looked inside YKW's mind and found out he was in the SS, so that's where we went. On the way, Hermione saved us all from an ambush, Dean, Luna and Seamus saved us from dementors, and we finally made it into the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow.

Once inside the SS, we watched--from under the Invisibility Cloak--as YKW started talking to Snape. I know this is going to sound horrible because of what happened next, but what YKW was saying sounded like a breakup speech: "You know, Severus, I thought _I'd _be able to control the Elder Wand, but I think _you've _been controlling it. So...things just aren't working out between us, so I'm going to sic my creepy man-eating snake on you." I know that's not what he _really _said, but I SWEAR that's what it boiled down to.

You can probably guess what happened next: Nagini bit Snape on the neck, then left with YKW. The three of us ran over to try and help him--I mean, what else were we supposed to do?--but I think I was the first to guess that it was too late to do anything. After that stupid snake bit Dad, it took him _weeks_ to recover--and he was bit on the arm.

I tried to close my eyes. I tried to look away. But it was like I was under the Full-Body Bind and had to keep staring at him as blood gushed from his neck. Soon the blood was joined by something else--something silvery-blue and shiny--that gushed from his eyes, nose and mouth. Hermione conjured a flask out of thin air and Harry collected the memories Snape was trying to give us.

For a long moment, none of us said anything. We just stood there, under the IC, looking at each other. I remember hearing YKW telling his troops to pull away from the castle, repeating his demand for Harry to meet him in the Forbidden Forest within an hour.

"Guess I'd better go...watch these," Harry finally said, holding up the flask. Hermione and I both nodded, and we headed back into the castle.

* * *

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

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**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

The battle was awful. I've never seen a battle before, and I hope I never do again...especially after what happened to Millicent.

YKW had just told his forces to withdraw, and the DA and I were just starting to seek out everyone who was hurt or dead when Millicent came from one of the corridors, panting as if she'd just run a long way and leaning against the wall. Blood splattered her clothes and hair, and dried blood smeared her face where she'd obviously tried to wipe it away. Needless to say, I ran to her.

"Millie! What happened? You look awful!"

She glared. "Gee, thanks a lot, Theo."

"Sorry...just...what happened?"

She swallowed hard and sank to the floor. I sank with her. "It's Colin...he's dead."

I just stared. "How?"

"Greyback. He...attacked in the corridor...started...started..." She drew in a deep, shaky breath. "He tore him to shreds, Theo. And Colin tried to fight back, but...I tried using magic on him. On Greyback. But it didn't work, so he attacked me instead."

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach, but I had to hear more. Morbid curiosity, I guess. "Go on..."

"So I fought back." She gave a humorless laugh. "I'd fought with guys before--Matt and his friends--so I guess I did pretty well, considering he's a werewolf."

"You got away at least." I looked around. "Where is he now?"

"Back in the corridor. I bit him hard and got away, then I grabbed his wand and used it--and mine--to put him in the Full-Body Bind. It worked, at least...and I was just so mad that I broke his wand and..." She smiled mischeviously. "Kicked him right where it counts."

I couldn't help wincing.

"Well, he deserved it! He's a creepy perv!"

I couldn't help agreeing. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I...I think so...I'm feeling a little tired--sort of weak--"

"He didn't bite you, did he?" She didn't answer. "He did, didn't he?"

I hope I never see her look that scared again. "Well, it's not the full moon--"

"But the full moon's tomorrow--"

"It doesn't count, does it? Does it?"

I just shrugged. "I don't know."

* * *

_I know that a lot of you have kept asking me if Snape could live, and believe me, I searched high and low for a way for him to survive. I didn't find it. YKW wouldn't have used anything requiring a wand to kill Snape because he still thought Snape was the wand's master (so none of the killing spells he tried would work), and I can't see how ANYONE could survive a snakebite to the neck by a snake with corrosive venom. Sorry to Snape and all your fans--I really did try to let you live. _

_BTW, I know Rowling made it look like Colin got killed by an AK, but come ON! If Sirius could get eaten by a curtain, Colin could get attacked by Greyback. _


	161. Chapter 161

**Our Little Corner of the Internet **

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**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

I'm glad the only battleI've ever seen (and I hope I'll ever see) is over. I still can't decide which was worse--the actual fighting, or the short lull between bouts of fighting when YKW told his forces to withdraw. The actual fighting was scary. But during the lull, you were always wondering who'd be dead next.

When he told his forces to withdraw, I was upstairs. So I naturally figured I should go _down_stairs and find everyone else.

Even though both sides lost people, it seemed like _we_ lost more--but maybe that's just because I recognized most of the people we lost. But I think the worst was Lupin and Tonks because they were still alive. Barely.

I bent down next to them and asked if they were all right--I mean, what else was I supposed to do?

"Teri?" Lupin said. It came out a whisper.

"What...what happened?"

"Death Eaters...ambush...where are the others?"

I shook my head, fighting tears. "They're gone...Phil told his people to withdraw and I don't know where everyone else is."

He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes. "Check...make sure...they're okay."

By then I was crying. I checked to see if Tonks was okay, but she was already dead. I ran into the Great Hall--just a few yards away--not caring who saw me cry.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon_**

"Lupin's dead."

After all I'd seen in the past few hours, those words were the worst possible news.

"How? When?"

"I...I don't know...they're just outside--"

"They?" I hadn't noticed Ron and Hermione come up behind us.

"He and Tonks." She started crying harder, so I pulled her into a hug. I don't know why, but right then I couldn't cry. Maybe it was shock; maybe the numbing effect of the battle hadn't worn off yet. I just stood there, holding Teri, trying to take it in. When she stopped crying, she asked where Colin was.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't.

* * *

_Grr...sorry, a short chapter was all I had in me. _


	162. Chapter 162

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

Snape's memories weren't what I'd expected.

For one thing, I wasn't expecting him to have been friends with my mum. Ironically, that was his first memory--him seeing my mum using magic and telling her she was a witch.

I basically got to see him grow up--always friends with Mum--until she got Sorted into Gryffindor and he got put in Slytherin. I'm not totally sure exactly what happened after that; I know he got involved in the Dark Arts and started calling Mum and people like her the m-word, which of course made her mad.

But it didn't change his loyalty.

I guess he always loved her, even if he didn't show it. His love for her was the reason he turned traitor against YKW, and it's the reason he kept helping Dumbledore. (Disturbing side note: Dumbledore _asked _Snape to kill him so Snape would be the master of the Elder Wand and so Dumbledore could avoid a bunch of pain and humiliation.)

But as far as disturbing goes, the worst part came at the end. One of Snape's last memories was of Dumbledore telling him that _I _was one of YKW's horcruxes--an accidental one, but still a horcrux. That's why my scar burned every time YKW was close, and that's why I could see into his mind. In case you haven't guessed what that meant, I'll tell you:

It meant that to defeat YKW--truly defeat him--I had to let him kill me.

If I say I wasn't scared, I'd be lying. If I say I _was _scared, I'd be making a serious understatement. I was terrified. Death isn't something anyone really looks forward to, and I wasn't about to break that tradition.

It's funny, but right after I found out I'd have to die, there wasn't really any question in my mind about whether or not I'd do it. I knew I would; I knew I had to. There wasn't really any other choice. So I stood, shaking, put on my Cloak, and began the long walk to the Forbidden Forest.

You know how the walk to the Headmaster's office always seems longer when you know you're in trouble? That's the way this walk was. It seemed I had more time than I wanted to contemplate everything--life, death, my place in it all. I sort of feel bad saying this, but I felt betrayed. Like Dumbledore had led me on this wild goose chase, destroying YKW's horcruxes, not telling me that I was one of them. Like he'd been fooling me into thinking I'd get to live, when really it was my destiny to die.

I was still lost in thought when I bumped into Neville. As if things couldn't get any worse, I saw that he was helping Oliver Wood move a body--Colin Creevey. I didn't recognize him at first, he was so bloody and mangled. Oliver took Colin down to the Hall alone, and Neville went downstairs to find more bodies. I followed him.

I pulled off the Cloak. "Neville."

He nearly jumped out of his skin. "Blimey, Harry, you nearly gave me heart failure!"

Heart failure. Something I'd have soon enough, I thought wryly.

"Where are you going, alone?"

"It's all part of the plan," I said. "Listen, Neville--"

He guessed the truth before I could finish. "Harry! You're not thinking of handing yourself over?"

"No," I lied. "'Course not...this is something else. But I might be out of sight for a while. You know Voldemort's snake, Neville? He's got a huge snake... Calls it Nagini..."

"I've heard, yeah... What about it?"

"It's got to be killed. Ron and Hermione know that, but just in case they--" I guess I started saying it before the possibility of them being killed set in, and for a minute, I couldn't speak. But I made myself keep talking. "Just in case they're--busy--and you get the chance--"

"Kill the snake?"

"Kill the snake."

"All right, Harry. You're okay, are you?"

"I'm fine. Thanks, Neville." He grabbed my wrist as I started to walk away.

"We're all going to keep fighting, Harry. You know that?"

"Yeah, I..." I couldn't go on. Neville patted my shoulder and left to look for more bodies. I put on the Cloak and would have kept going, but then I saw Ginny comforting a little girl looking for her mother. Again, I couldn't move. I wanted to let Ginny know I was there, where I was going and why.

I wanted her to stop me.

Somehow, I kept going. To be honest, looking back, I don't know where all that courage came from. I don't know how I kept making myself keep going, because if I tried doing the same thing now, I don't think I could. I kept looking around at everything I was about to leave behind, and it was only then, when I knew I was about to die, that I realized how precious life was.

Ironically, that realization was what finally let me open the Snitch. I whispered "I am about to die," and it opened. The Resurrection Stone fell into my hand, and I used it to summon my parents, Sirius, and Lupin.

I can't tell you how great it was to see them--not only that, but to see them smiling. I guess I just needed to know I was doing the right thing, and they let me know. Sirius and Lupin looked younger than I'd remembered, but seeing Mum was the best. She looked right at me, grinning.

"You've been so brave."

When I remember those words now, I can't help crying a little. But when she said them then, my eyes were dry. I just wanted to stare at her forever.

"You're nearly there," Dad said. "Very close. We're...we're so proud of you."

"Does it hurt?"

"Dying? Not at all," Sirius said. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."

"I didn't want you to die," I said without thinking. "Any of you. I'm sorry--" I looked at Lupin. "Right after you had your son. Remus, I'm sorry--"

"I am sorry too," he said. "Sorry I will never know him... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."

The cold breeze reminded me of what I had to do.

"You'll stay with me?"

"Until the very end," Dad said.

"They won't be able to see you?"

"We are part of you," said Sirius. "Invisible to anyone else."

I looked at Mum. "Stay close to me."

And they did. We passed right through the dementors without a single one coming after me. Oddly enough, with Mum, Dad, Sirius and Remus with me, the idea of death didn't seem so scary.

We stopped when Yaxley and Dolohov heard me. I don't remember much about what all they said, just Yaxley looking at his watch and saying "Potter's had his hour. He's not coming." I remember thinking it sort of funny that I was standing right next to them and they were saying I wasn't coming.

They turned back, and I followed them. YKW and the Death Eaters were all there--Draco's parents looked the worst.

"No sign of him, my lord," Dolohov said.

YKW stared at the fire. "I thought he would come. I expected him to come."

Nobody spoke for a long moment.

"I was, it seems...mistaken."

I took off the Cloak and stepped forward, dropping the Stone as I did. Mum, Dad, Sirius and Remus vanished. "You weren't." Everyone leapt to their feet--then stood still. I waited. Everyone else waited.

Then he killed me.

Dying isn't something I'd want to relive. But at least he did it quickly.

* * *

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

I remember waking up--I'm not sure how much later. It couldn't have been more than an instant, but it seemed...I don't know how to describe it. It was like I was in a place where time didn't exist.

I woke up on some kind of surface. It wasn't warm. It wasn't cold. It was just...there. When I sat up, I noticed three things: 1) I didn't have any wounds at all, 2) I wasn't wearing glasses, and 3) I was naked. The last one was only important because I heard something...it sounded like something struggling, flailing. It sounded...indecent. And I wished I had clothes.

And just like that, robes appeared a short distance away. I put them on and looked around. It was a nice place--looked sort of like a train station--and I thought I was alone...until I saw IT.

It looked like a naked baby, with rough, flayed-looking skin. I wanted to help; I wanted to run.

"You cannot help."

I turned...and there stood Dumbledore.

"Harry," he said, arms spread wide. They were both undamaged. "You wonderful boy. You brave, brave man. Let us walk."

I followed him, confused. "But you're dead."

"Oh yes."

"Then... I'm dead too?"

"That's the question, isn't it? On the whole, dear boy, I think not."

His answer only confused me more. "Not?"

"Not."

"But...I should've died--I didn't defend myself! I meant to let him kill me!"

"And that will, I think, have made all the difference."

"Explain."

"But you already know," he said, twiddling his thumbs.

"I let him kill me," I said. "Didn't I?"

"You did! Go on."

"So the part of his soul that was in me..." I suddenly realized what the creepy thing in the corner was. "Has it gone?"

"Oh yes! Yes, he destoyed it. Your soul is whole, and completely your own, Harry."

"But...if Voldemort used a Killing Curse...and nobody died for me this time...how is it that I'm still alive?"

"I think you know. Think back. Remember what he did, in his greed, ignorance and cruelty."

I did, and it came to me without my having to think about it. "He took my blood."

"Precisely! He took your blood and rebuilt his living body with it! Your blood in his veins, Harry. Lily's protection inside both of you! He tethered you to life while he lives!"

"I live...while he lives? But I thought...I thought it was the other way round! I thought we both had to die! Or is it the same thing?"

Creepy Thing's whimpering distracted me again. "Are you sure we can't do anything?"

"There is no help possible."

"Then...explain more."

And he did. He explained how I was the seventh horcrux, the one he never meant to make. See, by creating all the other horcruxes, he made his soul so unstable that when he killed my parents, part of his soul flaked off onto me. He explained that when YKW took my blood, he made it so I'd be able to come back while he lived.

"And you knew...all along?"

"I guessed," he said happily. "But my guesses have, usually, been good."

We sat for a long moment, then talked some more. Finally, Dumbledore told me the truth about his sister: He wanted the Hallows so he could conquer death, and so did Grindelwald. Finally, it erupted into a fight in his house, and Ariana was killed. The worst part, I think, is that Dumbledore said he still wasn't sure who had killed her--him or Grindelwald.

Finally, I realized I had to leave. "I've got to go back, haven't I."

"That is up to you."

"I've got a choice?"

"Oh yes. We are in...King's Cross, you say? I think that if you decided not to go back, you would be able to...let's...say...board a train."

"And where would that train take me?"

"On," he said simply.

More silence.

"Voldemort's got the Elder Wand."

"True. Voldemort has the Elder Wand."

"But you want me to go back?"

"I think that if you chose to go back, there is a chance he could be defeated, for good. I cannot promise it. But I know this, Harry, that you have less to fear from returning here than he does."

I looked back at Creepy Thing.

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love. By returning, you may ensure that fewer souls are maimed, that fewer families are torn apart. If that seems to you a worthy goal, then we say goodbye for the present."

Sighing, I nodded. It was a worthy goal. Dumbledore knew I would think so. But it was warm there, and safe from YKW. I knew what I'd be heading back to: a war zone.

"Tell me one last thing," I said. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that me it isn't real?"

* * *

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

I woke up again in the Forest, lying on the ground. I opened my eyes the tiniest bit so I could see what was going on, and I saw that YKW had also fallen when he'd killed me. (I say "killed" because it's easier; I still don't know whether he truly killed me or not.) He sent Draco's mum to check and see if I was dead.

She put her hand over my heart, and I knew she felt it beating. Instead of telling YKW this, she bent down close to me and whispered,

"Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?"

As quietly as I could, I whispered "Yes."

She stood. "He is dead!"

That's when the celebration started. Everyone cheered, yay, woohoo, Harry's dead, we won, let's go tell everyone that they're a bunch of losers, now who wants to carry him back to the castle? How about you, Hagrid?

Yeah...Hagrid carried me out of the Forest. It was only the first of many times I wanted to reveal myself prematurely.

* * *

_Whew...that took a while. Enjoy. Thanks again to cathopes and darkangel for sending me the chapters. _


	163. Chapter 163

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**_Horse Luver 14 _**

Of all the things I'd seen that night, seeing Harry dead was the worst.

When YKW came in from the Forest looking extremely happy, I knew something terrible must have happened. Then, when I saw Hagrid carrying Harry, I knew what that something terrible was.

It's been a week, and I know he's alive, but I still start crying whenever I think about it.

* * *

**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

I can't even begin to tell you how horrible it was to see Harry walk away, only to be carried out of the Forest less than half an hour later, but I'll try.

Imagine how it would feel to lose a Quidditch match. Multiply that feeling by a hundred.

Add to it the deaths of several good friends.

Add to _that _the death of one of your _best _friends who, oddly enough, was also the only hope you had for winning.

Finally, add the knowledge that you and most of the people you know will probably die in the near future, and you'll get an idea of what seeing Harry dead felt like.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

_It's over. It's all over. _

That was all I could think as I stood there with the others, unable to move, and saw Hagrid carrying Harry in from the Forest. We all knew what had happened. We all knew Harry had given himself up--what other explanation was there?--and I think that knowledge only made that moment all the worse. Beside me, Hermione cried quietly while Ron made no effort to hide his tears. Draco just stood, staring, shaking his head and whispering, "No...no...not Harry...not Harry..."

YKW began his I-won-and-you're-all-losers-go-die-in-a-ditch-somewhere speech, but I tuned him out. He may have won the war, but no way he was going to make me listen to him--until he said the word "traitor."

I knew who he was talking about. We all knew who he was talking about. But he told us anyway...by bringing Draco out of the crowd and making him stand in front of everyone.

I think I had a nightmare like that once--where my best friend was about to be tortured and killed, but I couldn't do anything but watch and wait for it to be over. Or maybe I didn't. The real thing was nightmare enough.

* * *

_If any of you ask how Draco can be blogging if YKW killed him, perform the following exercise. _

_1) Hold hand in front of face.  
2) Say "Duh! He's alive! Voldemort didn't kill him!"  
3) Slap self in forehead. _

_Any who realized this beforehand are exempt from the above exercise. _


	164. Chapter 164

_A few people have pointed out that in canon, Neville was the one singled out. His time will come, but it seems more likely for YKW to focus on Draco first. I mean, come ON! He's a friggin' traitor! _

**

* * *

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Even though we won (and Harry wasn't _really _dead), the beginning of the end of the battle was signaled with a series of disasters.

Disaster Number 1: Harry goes into the Forest and doesn't come back until YKW is looking extremely happy, Aunt Spazzy is elated, and Hagrid is crying, carrying Harry in his arms.

Disaster Number 2: Midway through YKW's "I won, you all suck, now I'm going to totally revamp Hogwarts and the world and make them both suck" speech, he remembers me, the Traitor.

Disaster Number 3: YKW makes me walk out in front of everyone and stand there.

Somewhere between Disaster Number 2 and Disaster Number 3, I realized I was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Draco Malfoy," YKW said in that annoying, creepy, condescending way of his. "You know I can't tolerate traitors."

"Guess it works out, then," I said without really having to think about it. "_I _can't tolerate _you_."

_That _caught him off guard. I guess he wasn't expecting me to say anything snotty.

"I was _considering,_" he said after a moment, "because of your parents' loyalty, letting you return--"

"_Letting _me?" I laughed. "Letting me come back and grovel at your feet so you can keep making me miserable?"

"You didn't let me finish." He was pissed, but right then, I couldn't care less. "I _was _considering letting you return _with your life._ I'm sure you know what the alternative is."

My heart beat faster. Even though I knew that what I was about to say was the right thing to say, the consequences terrified me. So when I spoke, my voice was quieter than I'd intended. "I'd rather take the alternative."

Again, I caught him off guard. Looking back, I can see it's probably because, given the steps he took to avoid death, the idea that anyone would willingly choose it seemed unthinkable. I guess all the other DEs felt the same way, because they all gasped.

"I'd rather be dead than alive on your terms," I added, just so there wasn't any confusion.

"Draco, no!"

I hadn't expected Mum to be listening, and I think I almost died right there. Telling the most evil--and powerful--wizard in the world you'd rather die than serve him isn't something you want to say in front of your mother.

"Please, Draco, think about this!" That was Dad. I looked at them both, and that was the only time I thought about taking back what I'd said. But I didn't.

"I have, Dad. I've spent two years thinking about this." I looked back at YKW. I wanted everyone to know how I felt, and I didn't have enough time to do that. "Siding with Harry was the best thing I ever did. You can't _make _me regret that, because I never will. If finally making the right choice means death...so be it."

Mum started crying, and I closed my eyes. "Please...before you kill me...Stun my parents?"

"Now, you're not in any sort of position to begin making demands, are you, Draco?"

He wasn't going to Stun them. I bit my lip, then braced myself when I heard Aunt Spazzy say "May I, my lord?"

But, as anyone who's been Cruciated will tell you, bracing doesn't help.

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**I Am SO Confused! **

**_Confuzzled _**

I'd been trying to get past those stupid spells that held us all in place ever since YKW put them up, but when Bellabitch started torturing Draco, I doubled my efforts. Each time she used that curse on him and he screamed in pain and I saw her face, I struggled a little harder. Finally, I was free. I stumbled forward, wand out.

"Knock it off, Bellabitch."

She stopped. It seemed like everyone had stopped what they were doing to stare at me. "What did you call me?"

"Bellabitch." I was too mad to be scared of her. "That's what the DA and I decided your real name was. We also decided to give you the Golden Turd Award, but unfortunately, we don't have a trophy yet..."

I think it was YKW who disarmed me--I was too mad (and having too much fun teasing Bellabitch) to notice who it was.

"I know you!" she said. "You're Neville Longbottom!"

"Good for you! You know my name!" I started applauding--until YKW stopped me with another spell.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to become a Death Eater--"

I laughed. "Fat chance, _Phil_!"

He stared. "Phil?"

"That's what we decided your real name is. Phil. It fits, don't you think?"

His eyes narrowed, and without another word, he grabbed the Sorting Hat, lit it on fire, and tossed it onto my head. I remembered how I'd talked to the Sorting Hat when I was Sorted, so--sort of as a last-ditch attempt--I asked it to help me. It seemed like forever (even though I know it was just a few seconds) before something heavy landed on my head. I shook my head to clear it, then threw off the Hat (I could move now), and grabbed the Sword of Gryffindor as the Hat fell to the ground.

Draco told me later that YKW was just about to kill him when I shouted "Hey, look! A snake!"

Everyone turned just in time to see me chop off Nagini's head. I grinned.

YKW didn't have time to react, because that was when the centaurs showed up--along with everyone else.

* * *


	165. Chapter 165

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**_Horse Luver 14 _**

The rest of the battle was much faster than the first half had been--partly because now we had more reinforcements and it took place mostly on the grounds and near the Great Hall. It seems like a blur now, but there's a few things I remember distinctly. The first one involved Percy.

I was fighting someone--I don't completely remember who--when Bellabitch showed up. I know she said something, but I don't remember what. All I remember is that she Cruciated me, I fell to the ground screaming, and when I looked up again Percy was standing there, back to me, dueling Bellabitch.

"You--leave--my--sister--alone!"

I just watched. I know I should have done something, but I still hadn't recovered from the Cruciatus Curse yet. So I just sat there, trying to get the motivation to stand up, when one of Bellabitch's curses hit Percy square in the chest and he fell on top of me.

"PERCY!" I kept shaking him, even after Mum stepped in and took over the duel. I don't know why I kept shaking him.

* * *

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It was Mum and Teri who reached me first, and they both helped me back into the castle. When we were inside, Mum ducked under the stairs, dragging me with her, and looked me in the eye.

"Are you okay, Draco? Can you walk?"

"S--sort of. I think so."

She bit her lip and nodded, then suddenly hugged me as tight as she could. "Thank God you're alive!"

I wasn't sure what to say to that, but just then we heard someone say "Peekaboo." We turned, and there was Yaxley. He held his wand up and Mum punched him in the face. I had no idea she could punch so hard, but she sent him to his knees, holding his face in both hands. Mum turned to me.

"Do you still have my wand?"

Teri held it up. "Is this it? Drake was holding it and he dropped it."

Mum grabbed the wand just before several DEs saw us (or maybe they saw Yaxley get punched in the face by a disembodied arm) and ran over. Mum Stunned two and dueled with one until YKW guessed who she was defending. "I'll handle this," he said. Then, to Mum, "Stand aside, Narcissa."

I knew from her voice that she was smiling that sticky-sweet smile she always wore when arguing with Dad. "It's cute how you think I'd just step aside and let you kill my son."

"Cute? I must admit, I've never heard that word used to describe me before. Have you ever been described with the word 'late?'"

Mum held her wand up higher. "Go ahead and kill me. You'll have to if you want to get to him."

Without another word, the duel began. It was short--I guess it couldn't be anything else--and you can probably guess who won. I'll give you a hint: It wasn't Mum.

* * *

_In case you're wondering why Cissy didn't say anything mean to Teri, it's because 1) she wasn't aware of Teri's blood status and 2) she was a little preoccupied. _


	166. Chapter 166

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**_Pressing On _**

YKW didn't make a "Now you're gonna die, you filthy traitor" speech, which sort of surprised me. No speech, no pretense...he just fired the curse.

Draco rolled to one side, dodging the curse and making YKW mad. He fired again, and Draco dodged again. YKW kept getting angrier and Draco kept dodging. It was sort of...mesmerizing.

Until one hit him.

It all happened in an instant--the curse hit him, he was blasted backward, YKW grinned a grin that makes me want to let my family's dog eat his face whenever I think about it, and I covered my mouth with both hands to keep from screaming. But I was still screaming--I may not have been making a sound, but I was screaming.

I stopped when he sat up, winced, touched his head where he'd hit it on the wall, and looked right at me.

"That was weird," he said. For lack of words, I nodded.

Draco and I both grinned when we heard a familiar voice say "You never learn, do you, Voldemort?"

* * *

**When Faith and Fear Collide **

**_Faith and Fear _**

Harry honestly couldn't have chosen a better moment to tell everyone he was alive. Molly Weasley had just killed Bellatrix Lestrange, a group of Gryffindors and Slytherins was dueling a group of Death Eaters, and YKW had just failed to kill Draco with an AK.

It was, all things considered, the perfect moment for one final, devastating blow.

When Harry took off his Cloak, I laughed. I couldn't help it. Tears flowed freely, and I didn't bother to stop them. Seeing Harry alive was, without a doubt, the best thing I'd seen that night. And if the joyful shouts and laughter from everyone else on our side was any indication, the rest of Hogwarts felt the same way I did.

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**_Stag_**

Throughout the second half of the battle, I kept trying to decide when to take off the Cloak. (I'd put it on when everyone ran back into the castle.) I almost did when Bellabitch Cruciated Ginny, but then Percy stepped in. I thought about taking it off when Bellabitch killed Percy, but then Molly took over. Finally, when Draco survived YKW's AK, I knew that the time was right. I pulled off the Cloak and took my wand out.

"You never learn, do you, Voldemort?"

I wish I could describe his face. I wish I had a picture of it (or at least, I do until I remember that it's YKW's face we're talking about, and that his face is NOT fun to look at). Picture complete shock and mortification, combined with a lot of fear and a touch of "I hate Mondays." That gives you an idea of what his face looked like.

"You're dead," he said, pointing his wand at me. "I killed you myself."

"And now I'm back."

We started circling each other--I think he's the one who started it. "For a moment, anyway. Unfortunately for you, that is a stunt you will not be pulling again."

"Maybe so," I said. "Then again, the same could be said for you, Tom."

His eyes widened. "You dare..."

"Yep. I dare, _Tom Riddle. _That's your real name, isn't it? But I have to admit, you look more like a Phil."

That pissed him off, I could tell. If I were an evil wizard, I probably wouldn't like being called Phil, either.

"I was too quick to assume you were dead before. I will not make that mistake again."

"Make what mistake, _Phil_?"

Without another word, he raised his wand. "Avada Kedavra!"

I shouted the first spell I thought of. "Expelliarmus!"

In an instant, the curse bounced off of me, hit him, his wand flew out of his hand, and I caught it as he fell to the floor. For a minute or two, the entire Hall was silent. I looked around at the crowd, and stopped when I saw Ron and Hermione. We stared at each other for a minute, then he and Mione ran forward and we hugged right there in the middle of the Hall. Draco hugged me next, and the next thing I knew the entire Hall was hugging and laughing and crying all at once.

The war was over.

And all I wanted to do was sleep.

* * *

_Yes, I know that Rowling's exchange between Harry and YKW was a LOT longer, but 1) I forgot most of it because 2) No offense to Rowling, but I thought it was sort of cliche and unneccesary. So I shortened it a lot. _

_Oh, and I figured that since Lily's dying for Harry protected him, Cissy's dying for Draco would protect him, too. But since Harry was a baby and Draco was an adult (technically), the magic protecting him from YKW wasn't as strong as the magic that protected Harry. That's why the curse didn't rebound when it hit Draco. (It rebounded when it hit Harry because he was the EW's master.) _


	167. Chapter 167

_For the record, I plan on writing more about the HP characters' lives after the war. So it'll be more like a continuation, but I'm going to start a new story because this one is looong. And as much as I'd love to carry this thing on to 500 chapters, that seems like it'd be a little...intimidating. So just a few more chapters of this, and then it'll be sequel time! _

_I know this chapter jumps around a bit, but just bear with me. _

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Phil was dead, the war over. It was time for a celebration.

Parties are always fun, especially when they're to celebrate something big, like Phil's defeat and the fact that the world was safe. More than that, though, they celebrated Harry, the Boy Who Saved All Our Butts (as one of the Slytherin boys put it).

He did fine for a while--acted happy, talked with everyone who'd lost someone, listened to all the news that came our way (and there was quite a bit), but after a few hours, I could tell he was starting to wear out. Dying, coming back to life and defeating Phil would take a lot out of anyone, but in Harry's case, all that was combined with a serious case of Party Fatigue. (Or, as another Slytherin put it, Why Are All These Retards Hugging Me? (Not that he actually thought the Order and the DA were retarded, of course...but he still made me laugh.))

Once he was sitting alone, I joined him. "If I were you, I'd just want some peace and quiet right now."

"I'd love some," he said.

I smiled. "Put on your Cloak." As he did, I shouted "Oooohhh...look! A Blibbering Humdinger!" Everyone near enough to hear it looked out the window, and Harry slipped away.

* * *

**Real Men Wear Kilts **

**_Kilted Stranger _**

After the battle, the celebration began. I threw myself into it for a while--but pretty soon it all started to seem hollow. I know it shouldn't have, considering that Phil was dead, Harry alive, and the wizarding world safe, but Colin was dead, Millicent in the hospital wing recovering from a werewolf bite, and I knew Dad would probably disown me.

I left the Great Hall as soon as I could, watching everyone else as though an outsider. The Weasleys were all mourning Percy, crowded around his body and sobbing. Draco and Teri clung to each other, both crying quietly. I saw a group of my friends crying in a corner and I walked faster. I didn't want to know who else had died.

I walked down the corridors, not watching where I was going, and found myself in front of the hospital wing. Taking a deep breath, I went inside.

Millicent was awake, and the blood had been washed from her face, but she still looked awful. I didn't dare let her see what I thought, though. Right now she needed to hear the good news.

"The war is over," I said, sitting down next to her. "We won."

She sat up a little. "We did? You mean...Phil's dead?" I nodded. "When?"

"A little while ago. I just now managed to get away from all the partying."

She smiled. "Wish I could've seen it."

"I wish I didn't have to." She gave me a strange look, so I explained. "Seeing Phil die was great, but a lot of other people died, too." I sighed. "_That's _what I wish I didn't have to see."

"Where's Matt?"

"I don't know. He's fine, though. I saw him before I left the Hall."

"Where's Drake?"

"With Teri."

"Theo, I can handle the truth."

"What do you mean? I just _told_ you the truth!"

"Not all of it. So tell me what happened."

I hesitated, then told her everything. Somehow, telling Millicent what happened was almost worse than actually witnessing it.

* * *

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**The Invisible Man **

**_Falcon _**

Dad took Mum's death even worse than I did.

I looked for him not too long into the celebration, even though I was dreading facing him. I'd dreaded facing him ever since I'd run away from home, but I dreaded facing him even more after the battle. I found him sitting off by himself, face buried in his arms as they rested on the table.

"Dad?" He didn't answer or even look up, so I touched his shoulder. "Dad?"

He stiffened. "Go away."

"Dad...I'm sorry."

"No you're not, Draco. If you were sorry, you would have returned to the Dark Lord and spared me this."

"I never meant for any of this to happen--"

He looked at me then, and I wish I didn't have to see the look on his face. "Then why did you do it?"

"I was _trying _to get us all out of that mess."

He turned away and laughed humorlessly. "And look at where that got us."

"Dad..."

"Go away. I won't waste time arguing with the one responsible for my wife's death."

Fighting tears, I got up and left.

* * *


	168. Chapter 168

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Prankster for Life **

**_Chimpanzee _**

Sometime during the celebrations, Fred and I walked away from the rest of the family. We'd said goodbye to Percy, mourned with everyone else, and were both really sad about it, but we had to get up and move around--get away from the sorrow for a minute.

Draco almost ran us over and when he apologized, his voice sounded choked. Fred grabbed him and spun him around, and we both saw he was crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Fred asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on, just tell us."

He took a deep breath. "I...I went over to talk to Dad...and he got mad at me. Said it's my fault Mum's dead."

"He _said_ that?"

"Yeah...he said if I had just gone back to Phil...she wouldn't have died." He sighed. "Maybe he's right."

"No he's not!"

"Phil would've just killed you anyway."

"Mum would've lived."

"You don't know that."

There was a long pause. "That still doesn't change anything. Mum's still dead."

Fred and I looked at each other. "If you'll excuse us for a moment," I said, and Fred and I walked off to find Lucius. He was still sitting there, back to us, so Fred tapped his shoulder. He stood when he saw us and, without another word, I punched his face as hard as I could.

"You bastard!" He looked up in confusion, holding his jaw.

"What do you want?" he said.

"What do we want? We _want _you to stop making Drake feel guilty!"

"For what? For turning against the Dark Lord and running away? For making his mother cry every day after he left because she knew he'd be killed if he were found? For _killing_ her?"

This time, it was Fred who punched him. "No, for risking his life to get _you _out of the mess _you _got him and his mum into! For not giving in even when he knew he was going to die!" Fred looked at him venemously. "If it weren't for him, I'd be dead!"

"And Narcissa would still be alive."

I must admit, Lucius Malfoy makes a good punching bag. "You know the only reason he joined You-Know-Who? Because he wanted to protect _you. _You and your wife. If he'd had any say in it, his mum would still be alive. The only reason she's dead is because she knew that after all he'd done, after everything he'd been through, he deserved to live and she loved him enough to make sure that happened."

There was a long pause before we realized he wasn't going to argue any more. Fred grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer, lowering his voice to a near-whisper. "Now you listen. That boy over there is our _friend. _More than that, he's our _brother. _And right now, he's probably the only thing standing between you and life in Azkaban. So if you even _think _about saying anything other than a sincere apology, we'll make sure he gets _out_ of the way, if you know what I mean."

Apparently he did. Fred and I stormed off. On our way out of the Hall, we saw Draco and Teri hugging each other. They were both crying.

* * *

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**Journal of a Hogwarts Kid **

**_Pressing On _**

It wasn't until the celebrations were underway that I remembered Colin. I wandered away from everyone else--and soon wished I hadn't.

When I saw him, I almost didn't recognize him because he was so bloody and mangled. When I did, I covered my mouth to stifle a scream--and ran away. I ran right into Draco, and saw he had been crying too.

"What...what happened?"

"Mum's dead. Dad hates me." He looked into my face and his expression changed. "Teri? What's wrong? What happened?"

I started crying again. "Colin's dead."

He held me until I stopped crying.

* * *


	169. Chapter 169

**The Greatest Blog in the History of the Universe! **

**Me Against the World **

**_Stag _**

Once Luna distracted everyone, I could walk out of the Hall with Ron and Hermione without anyone bothering me. As we walked to Dumbledore's office, I told them everything that had happened since we last saw each other. What I _didn't _tell them is that seeing them alive was the best thing that had happened that night.

When I first reached his office, I honestly thought that the DEs had come back. It took me a minute to recognize the noise for what it was: applause. All the portraits in Dumbledore's office were cheering. I looked up, and Dumbledore's portrait was crying.

I told him my plan: "I lost the Resurrection Stone in the Forest--it'd probably be best if I just left it there. And since I'm the Elder Wand's master now...well, if I die a natural death, its power will die with me, right?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"And if I keep the Cloak...?"

"Of course, Harry."

"All right." I had just one more thing left to try. Since the EW was the most powerful wand in the world, I figured--or at least hoped--it would be powerful enough to fix my old wand. So I took out the pieces of my old wand, set them on the desk, and tried Reparo with the EW.

It worked. I knew it as soon as I picked up my old wand.

As we walked out of Dumbledore's office, Hermione asked me what I was going to do next.

"I'm going to bed," I said. "I think I've had enough trouble for a lifetime."

* * *

_Short though it may be, that seems like an excellent place to end this fic. Thank you all for sticking with me throughout these past few months as an innocent question--"What would happen if the Harry Potter characters started a blog?"--became the longest and most successful fic I ever wrote. Thank you all for making it so. _

_But it's not over yet. So follow me, my loyal readers, into _The Hogwarts Blog II.


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